Love Under The School Bench

back home

I didn't know what to do. Mom was standing there and I couldn't run to hug her. As if this leg was stuck. but my ego is still too strong.

" you're home? "my stepfather greeted me. My mother just stood up and said nothing.whether she was afraid to say hello or she no longer cared about me. I thought I was wrong to come here. Mom hates me.

" rest first. later we have dinner together." I stepped in without expression. I just stayed here a while. I have to be nice.

" are you okay?" jordy asked worriedly.I know he feels guilty to me. All of that is clearly visible on the look on his face.

" are you worried about me? " i breathed out and sat on the bed. This room has not changed since the last time I left.

" yes, I'm worried about you. "jordy has changed a lot.

" it's not like you." I said slowly.

jordy stepped towards me and sat down beside me.

" it's my fault I'll fix it" he said with regret.

" it's not your fault.let everything be as usual.after all I'm only here while.just ignore my existence. "

jordy hugged me. I was a little surprised. I really needed this hug. I felt a little peaceful.

" i will take care of you." jordy's words made me unable to say the words.it was as if his words had great meaning but I dared not interpret them.

" i came out first." I saw a jordy figure who left me. I hope my existence here does not cause problems later.

.............

I opened my eyes with a bit of surprise.I went back to having nightmares. I don't know if it happened to me. I was traumatized living here. I've been having nightmares ever since I knew I was gonna live here.

" tok tok "sounds the door on the tap. I rubbed my sweat and stepped towards the door.

I was fixated. Mother stood right in front of me. We were so close. Can I hold her now? my hands are shaking I can't.

" let's have dinner. "mother steps away.and I can't call her.I see her back from behind.I go back into the room.I'm reluctant to go downstairs. after all I have never considered this as my family.I am just a guest. shouldn't I have dinner with them like a harmonious family.

auh..i was hungry.I looked towards the clock . not expecting me to study long enough.I looked outside . looked lonely.

" are you hungry? " i was surprised.I breathed a sigh of relief after knowing it was jordy.

" you surprise me, "I'm upset.

" let's go" jordy pulled my hand towards the kitchen.

" i'm not hungry." jordy didn't listen.he sat me down at the dinner table.

" wait here a minute"

shortly afterwards jordy came and brought food.he looked sweaty as if he was cooking by himself.

ahem...the food is a little strange. I'm worried whether this can be eaten???

" well...this is all I can make. taste it." I furrowed my brows. is he sure to ask me to taste. This won't make poisoning right??

" what if you taste first? the person cooking must know what it feels like. "

" what do you mean. I made this for you so you're the one who should taste it. "

hah.. I resigned let me read the prayer first. so that if I die can die peacefully. I take a spoonful. this food is like porridge but a bit brownish. did he add soy sauce? and ...sayurnya why so soft gini.

" why do you just look at him eating that fast. "

" well.." I closed my eyes and ate it in one go. Not bad. Maybe because I was too hungry.

" how does it feel?" jordy pulled up a chair and sat down beside me looking at me expectantly.

" how ya..burannya gosong and a little salty. vegetables..layu. and the eggs are still raw. but because I'm hungry so it feels good".

I said honestly.I don't like to exaggerate.I don't know if he would be disappointed to hear it.

" you are sharp-tongued. "

" thank you. I think we're magical brothers .and you start acting like you're a good brother." I tried to joke with him but he looks haughty instead. it was as if he did not accept what I said. Do my words offend him?

" i never considered you my brother."

I was silent.I thought we would be good brothers in the future, but it seemed like it was only in my hands.I am still an outsider.

" i'm just kidding, who would want a brother like you. "I tried to melt the atmosphere, but he was still silent and looked moody.

" when you go to sleep, I go back first."

I saw a jordy that slowly disappeared.Sometimes he was very good and sometimes very haughty.I did not understand what was on his mind.

" erina."

I turned to the origin of the voice. It seemed that mother stood looking at me. Finally she called my name.

" be a good brother and do not get too familiar with him ."

what did mother mean was that I was always an arrogant child in her eyes.she talked for the first time with me. And this is what she said.

" mommy take it easy. I won't be too familiar with people here. I know my limits. I'm just a guest who hitchhiked here. I doubt if I still have a mother. " I don't care anymore . I want to get back to my sister's house as soon as possible.I miss you.I hate you.

his mother noticed the figure of erika who ran away.he had not been close to him for many years.The child he so longed for, was in front of him.

his tears flowed profusely. actually. he was afraid of fear.Erika would go and never look back.he knew that the closeness of jordy and erika is not the closeness of ordinary brothers. there was another desire from jordy's eyes for erika, and she was unable to save her two children.

he feels very guilty to erika. he can not give warmth to her when she needs it. he thought erika will be happy if he got a family and a new environment. but it even adds to his sadness.he used to be in a lot of debt because his father's office was bankrupt.he had difficulty surviving and erika still needed a future. and their living costs are increasing.

in desperation, Jordan's father reached out his hand and helped him face all the problems of his older brother's life, and he understood his mother's difficulties and the happiness that came to his mother. his father's death traumatized him and he was trapped in his dark past.he could not understand the game and life, and he could understand why erika could behave like that.