Love Story in College

Chapter 5

Tada Banri has seen me.

Being made fun of in a puzzling strange moment when the long-lost seductive bell rang, gasping in pain, Banri certainly saw me that day. And I saw it too.

The present and the past that connect in the middle of that bridge, Banri and I, our eyes only meet for a moment. Mine, or perhaps Banri's fault, may be the fault of both sides in sight, bad guesses, unintentional misunderstandings, mysterious illusions, ordinary daydreams, which he thinks are unimportant. Nothing is important.

By the way, the memory of that moment in my past must have existed. This phenomenon, whatever you call it, as far as I'm concerned, is real.

* * *

Calmly, Kouko said that he was trying to gather objective facts.

"To summarize them, Mitsuo and I were bound by fate. That is, it has been proven over and over again."

With a thud, he placed a large paper bag from a department store, full of goods, on a table in front of Banri. The table trembled and creaked with its weight, an older man next to them, the espresso in one hand, briefly looked towards them. "Excuse me ..", Banri bowed his head in the working class.

Moments before three in the afternoon, walking from the campus not far from the cafe — which is now an unforgettable memory, the store where they serve cafes-au-lait in a bowl. Thinking that maybe they didn't have to go there a second time, they peered into other cafes but found they were completely full, and they ended up settling here, he said, where they think they may be able to have a quiet conversation.

"If I could hoard enough objective truth in front of his eyes, I thought that even Mitsuo would not be able to evade his responsibility. … And arguably, being a small law school would be better now, right? "

Holding the bowl in both hands, sipping the cafe-au-lait as if it were soup, Kouko was seen smiling.

Taking his bowl in both hands like him, Banri looked at him.

"… I can't go out even if I've had enough college."

As if asking "What is it?", Kouko raised one of her beautifully groomed eyebrows and gazed back into Banri's eyes.

Between the deep red lips, a row of clean white teeth. A smooth cheek. The skin around his eyes stretched smoothly. From her slender, well-groomed fingers, to lines from her hips to her crossed legs, she is perfect in every way. Calmly returning the cafe-au-lait bowl to her plate, she looked out the window, gracefully.

Since that "worst day" when they escaped that terrible situation, four days have passed. After the break, it seems Kouko has bounced back. Yet.

"Alright, Kaga-san, are you really feeling better now? With your feelings Wednesday and all, don't attend and it looks like you're about to fail class! All those first years but you've earned a perfect presence."

"I have very little time. Alone, alone, thinking. And I came to the conclusion that of course I did the right thing. That wasn't a mistake. That's just true. … As long as I stick to my plan, everything should be in order! "

Finally up to the task, even if it was only in front of Banri, as if acting as part of the "Perfect Kouko Kaga", he slowly raised his chin and smiled with his entire face. He could not find a single flaw, not a single spot on his cream-white throat.

With Kouko finally returning to school, just like that, Banri is even more excited than she was worried about before.

Wounded by Yanagisawa's cold demeanor, bewildered by Chinami's entry into the battlefield, and along the way, ashamed of Omaken, she feels that she must be feeling sad. Those four days, Banri was really worried about Kouko. The day before, he had even called Linda when he saw her in the lobby, and while leaving details, consulted her about what to do about Kouko.

Banri says that he seems lost, as he is so awkward that he is embarrassed to join Omaken, and Linda replies, "Pressing him would be pointless. But, it would be boring without a partner," with a nod. "If Kouko is so anxious, of course they will be happy, she will always be welcomed, and it's fine if she is a bit confused until when she agrees to join." Simply mentioning his partner Kouko, that's all that makes Banri feel so embarrassed.

"What are you thinking? There was nothing wrong with Mitsuo and I being tied together, just not completely. There's proof, so no one can dodge, perfect proof."

Kouko was stubborn to the end.

His straight hair fell onto his back, held in place by a hair tie wrapped in a dark gray and purple satin design. In her dark brown hair, it really did look pretty. Later,

"Justice will be mine!"

He nodded vigorously, showing his enthusiasm. He was wearing a snow white blouse. Emphasizing the courtroom style, he wore a slender mannish vest. And a black tie. And black miniskirts, black tights, and black high heels. He had evidence stuffed into a paper bag, and was carrying a high-class office bag. Together with how he threw his head back, today Kouko really, how can you say it? … He seems to be doing the impression of a lawyer i.

Banri does not even now understand where Kouko got her certainty. The proof, the proof, he said, but in reality up to this point, sees the so-called 'satisfying relationship' that Yanagisawa and Kouko have, he said, he did not think there was such a thing in this world that withdrew "objective facts ".

Instead, he did not think that a man's heart could be moved to his own comfort.

Despite thinking about it, he did not want to say anything negative to this Kouko, finally just returning from getting back up.

"Alright ..", carefully saying a little, putting his chin in his hand, Banri's phone buzzed.

It was a text from Yanagisawa.

"Yana-ssan says college is over. He's coming here now."

"Did he happen to ask you if I was here too?"

"Yes, yes, right," said Banri, nodding. Although it seemed like he had come to school, after college they did not speak in the slightest. "What do we do?", is all that Kouko said along the way.

As soon as he came with Banri, Yanagisawa replied honestly, "I also want to talk to Kouko, among other things." While he was talking like that, he glanced meaningfully that even Banri was not stupid enough not to notice. He could not remember even once that Yanagisawa actually wanted to talk to Kouko.

As if he was satisfied, Kouko's back became straighter.

"Look at this, right? Perfect. Of course, you've been worrying about me, for a long time. You have repented of how cold you have treated me. And then, little by little, unknown to yourself, I have filled your heart. That fits quite well with our perfect scenario. "

Then when he only remembered it, he took out a hand mirror from his pocket, looked into it, re-examining its beautiful perfection. Eyes looked up, blinked repeatedly, tried to make a smile from ear to ear, then nodded as if approvingly, he put away the mirror.

This latest development surprised Banri.

"Ka, Kaga-san, well .. Of course you won't come back !? And then, there you have it, look here, rather than waiting in vain for Yana-ssan, once in a blue moon …"

"What did you say? Finally, after waiting for her, I can give her proof."

With a smile that was immediately put back into place, saying "That's right, isn't it?", He had no choice but to shut his mouth once more.

Really, calling Yanagisawa here like this is bad. She has given up on Kouko's overconfidence, though she can't deal with being rejected repeatedly.

Hoping for something like progress with Kouko, maybe .. no, never, will not happen.

Yanagisawa plans to reject it once and for all, here.

After all, for Banri, it seems that as long as he is away from school, Yanagisawa and Chinami's relationship has been progressing, bit by bit. Even at the club drinking party, it seemed, the two of them had plenty of time to themselves. Since Yanagisawa knew very well that Banri was supporting Kouko, she felt no need to mention it. In fact, he wouldn't be surprised if they really started going together.

"… After all .. shouldn't you be too hopeful?"

Fearfully, that was all he was trying to say.

If he wasn't careful, Yanagisawa probably planned to come here together with Chinami. And then in front of Banri and Kouko, they would slap him with the announcement that they were a couple. If such a thing were to happen, what would Kouko do? To be perfect, and then, .. what will he really be? For some pardon, standing petrified, in a strange cold sweat.

As for Banri, as Kouko who is close in the near future worries him, he cannot decide things become uncomfortable around here and leave, stating "This has nothing to do with me."

"Why? He didn't come here perfectly. There's plenty of evidence."

Looking hesitant, Kouko looked back at Banri's face, holding his paper bag as if it was something precious.

"But it's 'proof' .. otherwise, why would I bring it?"

And said, "He's coming!", He's sitting at the door, his eyes shining.

"Mitsu! In here!"

When she stood up in style, like an actress, the old man next to them, who seemed unable to cope with the noise, finally got up and moved to the counter. "Sorry, really .", Banri muttered in a small voice that was hard to hear.

Yanagisawa, her hair draped on part of her face, stood at the entrance of the cafe. Raising his voice when he saw Kouko's face,

"It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

It seemed like he shrugged while saying so. Chinami is not there, so Banri can relax for a while. As he walked towards them, he stuffed a knit hat he carried into the pocket of his faded jeans. The heel of his worn-out Red Wing boots made the floor creak.

Throwing her shoulders back, Kouko took a step towards Yanagisawa, keeping her perfect smile directed at him.

"Aren't you going to sit down? What do you want to order? Mr. Defendant."

"Oh, quiet. Sorry, can I have a coffee? It's normal."

"Hmph, you just got here."

"I won't try to escape or hide. You don't have to be afraid."

"Hey, what are you trying to say? Did I even set you free, or found you hiding?"

"… Should I ... really be here …?"

"It's okay! Stay here!", The two of them said at the same time, smiling, making Banri calm and stop squirming.

In this encounter between a beloved man, and a girl whose love is unrequited, why is he here?

"Then, prepare yourself. I will be fully understood. My perfection …"

"Something you want to say? Because it doesn't matter, I'll stay and listen."

"By the way, sit. Or your legs cramp? Isn't it too early to be cold feet?"

"Huh? What the hell are you saying? Why can't I think twice?"

… Is this feeling like a duel?

Kouko's face was smiling. Yanagisawa's face is a mask. Giving each other the same cool looks, they sit, even when they fit, like a mirror image. While between the two of them, tension crackled as if there were invisible sparks, Banri, who had been watching from the start had yawned repeatedly, exhausted from the stress. Oxygen did not reach his brain.

Or rather, the scenery these people made, as if they were on good terms with each other, Banri did not see it that way, even for a moment.

Facing each other again, they always disagree, will fight and quarrel. Somehow the two of them were arguing like they were brother and sister.

"All right, let's start with me, okay? Let's start by stating the final goal. Mitsuo, who was known honestly as my lover, had to be quick and officially engaged."

Kouko precedes him with her perfect smile. Is he confused? Is he shy? Is his soft emotions wavering? Get stepped on by those high heels and flush the toilet! For all appearances, he was as confident as a fortress.

"This is proof. Look at it in order. It starts with where we were born."

Kouko took out a file from her paper bag, and Yanagisawa and Banri bent over the map of the city center so they could see it.

"This is Kaga's house. This is Yanagisawa's house. In a straight line about eight hundred meters. Closed from the beginning. The schools are together too. The chances of us getting to know each other in public elementary school are very high. In short, our meeting was inevitable. From the moment we were born, we would meet somewhere. And it was destined that we would gather. We were classmates from elementary school onwards. "

He flipped the pages in the file with his beautifully painted fingernails. There was a picture, glued to some cardboard, a piece of writing hastily written all around it.

"This is from the entrance ceremony. We were in the same picture, both of us. We were only eight years old. We hadn't even spoken to each other at that time. At the age of seven, a picture of an outing, a protective visit .. Mitsuo's parents and my parents together. After that, an athletic meeting. Eight years, nine years, .. always together in the picture. Look at this, summer camp in our fifth year. Mitsuo, what's with such long hair? Then, this, "

"… What do you want to say?"

"Listen, just look. It's elementary school graduation! They took pictures of us both. We asked someone to take it."

"You're completely immersed in the memory of looking at your album and remembering it again. Just what's the point with all this?"

"Because of that, that's proof!"

"From what?"

"Mituo and I are bound by this legitimate proof of destiny."

Even when the file was closed with an explosion by Yanagisawa, Kouko did not turn off her smile.

"What I think about Mitsuo, actually, has not changed. I've been like that since I was a child, I've always been with Mitsuo. Remember when you confessed your love in first grade? Mitsuo said it too. I like Kooko-chan, I will be together with Kooko-chan from now on, you said, you will be my bride, right, you said. You really said it. Do you not remember? That's when we told the presents at the Christmas party in first grade. You said it on stage, my mom and dad heard it too, even my grandma heard it. "

"… That, at the Christmas party, isn't that a charade !? It was a very good dramatization, so your parents could hear."

"Since then, I've always been committed to marrying Mitsuo."

"Listen, Kouko. Among us, dating won't work."

"But it was something among childhood friends. Again, I don't think I need to explain our relationship. That's something that doesn't need to be said. Right?"

"Maybe when we were children, we said such things innocently. But, that's because we're really kids. Things like that can be said. But we are no longer little children. Being a child, wearing a uniform, going to and from school and studying; it was different from now. "

"really. I understand that. We're all grown up. Therefore, even in our relationships, we want to take it to the appropriate adult level."

"… 'Lifting it up' or whatever, is something else." Loving "as a child, versus" loving "now. I love Mr. Giraffe, I love Mr. Elephant, I love Kooko-chan. That's normal; understand that. I mean, you can pretend to understand, or not. "

"Not that. Our relationship, since we were born, by destiny, for ever, is absolutely perfect."

"I don't understand where you got it. I'm fed up, really, with your assumptions. Therefore, how long have I been disabled? Junior high school. Junior high school. Junior high school. Second high school. When there's a girl I like, you're gonna meddle, fight with her, harass her, until you make her sick of you, you even influence my friends, make them keep their distance. , '' '' You're even. , throughout graduation, no girl would want to hang out with me. I was really left alone. As far as everyone was concerned, Yanagisawa Mitsuo had no choice in the end other than to become Kaga Kouko. "

"Dragging around is not allowed. Anyway,"

"So! Already, it seems you're telling me you're fed up with it!"

Kouko once again opened the file, Yanagisawa violently pushed it aside. Falling from the table, photographs and scrap-like objects littered Banri's feet.

"But, .. I haven't blamed you for what happened until now. Anyway, with childhood in general, without judgment I made a childish mistake, drifting, I think. I'm thinking now you should take responsibility for having come to my university, and of course for your own life. Anyway, I just told you beforehand clearly. I have someone I like now. "

"… Is this me, of course?"

"Take as you please. It's Chinami. For me, a few times now you've tried to smear his name. If you trouble her too much, put her in place, hurt her feelings, or disturb her— – If you try to separate her from me, I won't be happy with you. I'll hate you, I'll hate Kouko, forever, absolutely and perfectly to the point where she'll follow you even if you move to a different university. "

Deliberately slow to be heard, Yanagisawa with her finger seemed to set a rhythm, piercing those words.

"I'm leaving you."

With a sharp voice, Kouko stood up.

He looked at Yanagisawa.

"…Why?"

His smile that now looked fake disappeared once, but then came back, stiffening.

"Why? What, why is that ... What's wrong with this? I don't understand."

Yanagisawa silently stared at the sight. Kouko breathed heavily, trying to maintain her expression but her lips trembled more and more as she spoke.

"But, .. but, I don't understand. Am I not special to you? Do you remember that time you were wearing a big backpack? Do you remember when you were about to lose because of your handwriting? Who amuses you then? When you are selected to be a member of the relay team for a sports day, who makes party cakes? You dropped the relay baton, didn't you? Who among the others knows that? That time the girls came first, and our class came first overall. Who's the anchor of the girl's relay team? Between "Mitsuo can see me" and all that cheering, I've always been such a fool. Who runs faster than anyone else? "

"I remember."

"You did it !?"

"But that's impossible."

"Then! … Then, when I was born and started writing love letters, who were they …? To whom ... you know?"

Realizing that Kouko's fingers were trembling carefully as they touched the table, Banri subconsciously glanced at her face. Looking, he saw how pale he was. His voice also shakes. Even the cup of cafe-au-lait crackled.

He doesn't need to see this. Or rather, why was he shown this? Banri hid his face, covering his eyes with one hand. He could only hear Kouko's trembling voice.

"… You know this boy that I've loved since I was born, right? On the occasion of my ninth birthday party, the boy who took me home? When I feel sad because I was not chosen to accompany at the piano, which boy for my sake brought from home a set of origami? The child ... Do you know him? "

"… But, that's never going to happen."

"Do you not know !? You're that guy! The reason I can run so fast, the reason I want to be beautiful, the one I want to love is you! You're always special! To tied! you're right! Otherwise, if it were not so .. it would not be perfect! Unless I'm perfect, then I won't be able to make you love me! Then what should I do !? So , so always, I, I've tried, perfectly .. hey! Why am I not special to you !? "

Silently raising her eyes slightly, Yanagisawa looked at Kouko sharply. Banri hopes he can leave. If Kouko notices how badly she's shaking, she'll probably get up and go all the way.

"My jaw! Have I not loved you since I was a child !? Didn't I grow up with you and for you !? However, why am I not special to you !? Why am I not even important to you !? "

"So please answer me!", He repeated again and again, whining like a child, unable to listen and began to tremble pitifully.

Ah, no way, —

"… You, are you an idiot …?"

From sympathy there is no trace. His expression was furious. Yanagisawa angry.

"I thought you never understood me. It's always just about you. For that reason, you don't understand!"

Standing up, pointing at him with his finger, to his crying childhood friend Yanagisawa speaking.

"This is a careful decision. Truly and truly, from the bottom of my heart, I am doing this for you. … I did it for you! Why don't you understand that !? Do you want to get hurt because you failed to understand something I said? You are not an irresponsible child, so understand! In particular, don't get me wrong just because I care! I won't talk about lovers, destiny or anything like that! Because in reality, it's not like that! We didn't even mess around, not once! That's because I care about you! If I don't care, then with the right atmosphere, and the right feeling, what we might have done, we could end up having fun! But that I can't do! I don't think anyone can be happy just by doing that! Therefore, it is something that I absolutely cannot do. do! I don't want to do something like that! "

"… All right, weelll,"

Banri can't see Kouko's face.

"If I am important .. if I am special, that ... love, is something different …? Is it not allowed to enter 'love'? Come to love me, to fall in love, to love each other, to marry, forever, to speak like that ..why, is it impossible? Is that impossible? "

Yanagisawa's reply shook her head. Yanagisawa rudely told him that it would not work, the two of them together. Banri thinks that Yanagisawa will understand how much he supports Kouko. He did not blame her, asked her to be flexible and not say such difficult things. Since he was that type of man, maybe that was why he wanted to become friends.

"…It is not possible…?"

A drop fell on the table.

"… In this way, despite remembering our childhood …? Even though I'm special? Even so, impossible? Then, then in short .. is it my fault?"

That's how Kouko was defeated.

If he was just yelling, not his purpose, not proof, there was nothing more than a stack of papers.

"Because I'm just something insulted? Then, to what extent do you have memories, however long have you given me in reality, there is no other way? Can you not fall in love with me? If, if that's the case , "

In a small voice, he tried to call out to her. He thought it was time to give up. Kouko did not know how to retreat, again immersed in the depression before her, Banri wanted to hold her back. That's why I live here, he thought.

But the voice did not seem to reach Kouko.

"If so, then I'm no longer needed! Always unneeded, always forgotten, done without! Made as if I never existed! If there is one more thing happening to me that cannot be undone, I will be completely lost!"

Hearing what seemed to be a scream in that voice, Yanagisawa did not say anything more, rising up from her seat.

Pulling his knitted hat on his head almost into his eyes, he opened the door and walked out.

The inside of the shop suddenly became very quiet. He realized that all the other customers were pointing their ears at them, curious. Banri moved a little, very uncomfortable, when at that moment came the sound of Kouko breathing air.

Bang, Kouko's hand hits the plate, shakes it.

"… What have I done?"

Kouko watched Banri, covering her mouth. Opening her eyes, tears streamed down her cheeks again, flowing down. Sorry, Tada-kun. Excuse me. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sitting as if falling, he turned his disheveled face towards Banri, from the tightly closed corners of his eyelashes once more tears.

He was being apologized, he finally understood. Banri is looking within himself. Banri who lives here as if there is no problem at all, explodes in front that Banri's eyes are unwise, perhaps, but he is unharmed by Kouko's words.

"It's okay, Kaga-san."

"… I'm sorry .. I'm sorry …!"

"Really, because it's okay. … In such a time, you don't have to worry about me."

"… Sorry, Tada-kun …"

Just now there's nothing. You will forget you will make it as if it did not happen. — But it is not easy to say that, the future becomes very difficult to manage.

* * *

Kouko remained seated in the chair by the window.

Not knowing what else to do, Banri continued to observe the tableau. The tears on her cheeks had dried up, Kouko remained silent, her head hanging in shame, completely detached from everything. Four o'clock past, five o'clock approaching, slowly outside the window the day was getting dark,

"Good gentlemen, there are customers waiting for the smoke-free part …"

The cafe employees said to them in an apologetic tone. The time has finally come, the,

"It's time we go, Kaga-san."

Banri asked for it, though,

"…"

Still silent, Kouko, instead of asking if they should get up and leave, went through the glass door that separated the smoking section. Subduing his head towards the bewildered employee, the bewildered Banri immediately followed. Of course the place is not very crowded here, with fewer customers and worse ventilation, and the smoke and smell of tobacco that scatter in the air.

"Hey, Kaga-san …"

Move to an empty chair,

"I thought smoking could kill you."

Plagued by Kouko's muttering words, the uncomfortable smokers looked towards them.

"Err .. noo, what did I say …? I don't think such a thing is deadly, do I …?"

After entering the smoking section with Kouko once again bowing her head in embarrassment, exchanging glances with the employees, Banri felt embarrassed. If he ordered something more, would they let them stay here? More importantly, is it okay if he stays here? Obviously desperate, Kouko does not want to go alone, but isn't Banri's presence bothering, as far as he's concerned? Maybe all he needs is time alone to lick his wounds. If so, he wanted to disappear quickly.

Naturally, he did not think about being "needed". That he did not need any humans other than Yanagisawa Mitsuo, even Banri understood. Worried about Kouko, and wanting to keep an eye on her, is Banri's condition. He wanted to pay more attention to his condition than his condition.

Of course, maybe he shouldn't be here — feeling that sits too long, pain that arises from behind him back then, just then,

"You smoke? Here it is, one injection!"

A girl they didn't know was sitting next to them and held out her cigarette box towards Kouko.

"You want to die? Use these things and you will. On the cellular level for sure."

"This man is not yet twenty years old …"

Confused for some reason, Banri blocked it. Kouko raised her head slightly, curiously looking at the cigarette box offered to her by the mysterious person. There seems to be no big brands, like Mild Seven, or Marlboro.

"Daughter?"

Confused, Banri shook his head quickly back and forth. The girl, with a sinister smile twisting her lips, spoke.

"Hey. You can call me NANA."

Think a little, Banri,

Cough!

He breathed out as if he had been punched.

She remembers when she was hospitalized, forever reading the latest issues of shoujo manga. Perhaps exaggerated, short one-length bob hairstyles with longer bangs, black-dyed jets and leopard-printed camisols. Strong makeup aggressively. Thick leather jacket. Neck to fingertips clinking with excessive silver accessories. He even brought a guitar box. His appearance, like that, was that of a character.

Cosplay is like that .. but why here and now? Chosen for other things. People like that. Is this cafe some kind of place to attract weird people? The more he looked at her, the more he had to refrain from laughing out loud.

"You can tell you, well .. for me, it's something I'm looking at. Coincidentally next to me .. to speak."

He looked towards his black nails. In the arrangement of his silver ring was a skull.

"… I'm not Linda's junior. You were with Linda in high school! I'm third year. Or rather,"

Turning her lips to aim the smoke upwards as she smokes, NANA.

"The first name Linda gave was also pronounced NANA."

"… That's, are you kidding …"

Banri becomes overwhelmed by the strangeness of it all,

Finally, a snort came from Kouko's nose. And then from Kaga Kouko she gets the same weird vibe.

"Omong, eh? I'm sick of it. Yosakoi and such are so annoying, don't they make me feel like dying?"

"… How about Awa Odori this year ..?" replied Banri, and he laughed mockingly.

"It's time to stop. Sure. If I'm gonna die, let it be with the music."

And then, push in front of them, a black and white brochure that looks cheap.

"Today's nine o'clock. Nakano City's. Although nothing more than an amateur student band, Awa Odori could die a thousand times in comparison."

"Ah, thank you .. This is what they call 'direct show' .. right? But I've never been to such a thing ... have you also come, NANA-senpai? Well, of course...does it look like a typical cover band? "

"Whaddaya means, 'close band'. They're not like a cover band. Because I'm a poet. Reading poetry."

"Po, poe …? Huh …?"

"If you have this flyer, you get two drinks. If you say my name, you can get more. Come and die."

With a big smile, he gave them a finger. NANA-senpai wore her character until the end, and left everything behind, leaving the store. With only the leaflets left in Banri's hands, "What should we do?", he told Kouko,

"Let's go and die."

Kouko took it from him. His tear-red eyes, irritated wherever they sat, desperate to have been worn, were understood.

"… If it's not perfect, then I have to stay broken until the end. Unlike how I got until now, I wanted to do nothing at all. Not half-and-half. If I'm going to be smashed to pieces, then I want to be nothing at all. I want to die! "

And then stand up, stretch their hands wide and take a deep breath — the people in the smoking section of course really seem like they hate them, Kouko made it look as if she wasn't looking.

"What are you going to do, Tada-kun? I'll go even if I have to go alone."

"… It's a date! Sure thing!"

Leaving Kouko like that alone was worrying, besides, that was how it was. If he was not perfect, instead smashed into pieces, he would not do anything as if dying, but then he wanted to be revived. At least, Banri always thought so.

* * *

Unable to say anything about an honorable defeat while spending time or dinner, they went to drink at a cheap tavern afterwards.

"… A, what? Even in my mind it was never a place that seemed shrewd …"

At nine o'clock, Banri and Kouko stood in front of the live concert venue. Trying to look inside through the entrance, Banri grimaced. Dark steps down.

At nine o'clock, Banri and Kouko stood in front of the live concert venue. Trying to look inside through the entrance, Banri grimaced. Dark steps down.

Looking very out of place, looking around nervously, she pushed her back with both hands, looking at her,

"It's okay, you'll be fine, no problem …"

Kouko prepares to climb down the stairs.

"Wait, wait a little while longer," said Banri, implanting his leg firmly. Even more than his imagination, the real thing was the harder core.

"Between dying and killing, were the fans of that student band on the same planet?", Banri thought. "The tension here, for the first time in my life 'living', it could be said, will eventually end, right?" If they spend time going crazy, then maybe Kouko will relax a little. That's the feeling he has.

However, none of the students were visible among the other customers gathered around the entrance. For some reason, most are well built, like strangers, with body piercings and tattoos that seem natural to them. They wore leather jackets and pants that looked gloomy, had impressive figures with biceps like wooden rods. On top of their bald heads, steam emerged from their sweat. Ordinary people appeared as fasting monks next to them, all skin and bones. Their mouths opened as they stood around, they watched the frightened Banri with suspicious eyes, like a buffalo with big shoulders, both tattooed with "guts" (why?) — however, everyone living in an ordinary world would never be able to meet as many people as there were here.

"We, we're really going …?"

He reflexively looked towards Kouko, asking,

"Let's go, it's okay! It's okay, let's go! It's okay if we go."

Kouko stood before him firmly, looked at him with clear eyes, and nodded like a madman.

Perhaps because of three full hours of continuous drinking, his breath smelled of liquor. Her voice was a bit slow, but for now she looked like the same Kouko Kaga. Her makeup was slightly smeared from crying, but otherwise for every last aspect she was perfect. "Fuu .. haaa ..", he sighed, though he had not yet fainted, despite recklessly drinking almost everything on the menu, from sour fruit to cocktails. Banri, feeling dizzy on the way, has turned to oolong tea, but Kouko continues to drink alcohol until she is full. Can he hold his liquor well?

"Hey, let's go! Le's go! Tada-kuun, hey, it's okay, it's okay, it's oookaaayyy."

Almost as if he was throwing a match, Kouko began to impatiently step on his foot. He felt several gazes turn towards them. Don't want to be anything weird, though,

"… OK, OK, let's do it!"

For now, passing through the entrance looked almost like escaping.

Get down the stairs to the basement, put the weight on the heavy door and open it,

"Wow! Very loud!"

He could not even hear himself screaming. For the first time in his life, live music was exploding all around him, it was completely eye-opening. Shaken by the violent tremors from his spine to the bones of his skull, his legs froze from instinctive fear. Kouko's eyes were wide open, she covered both her ears with her hands, and shouted things like "Kyaa!" and "Hyaa!". Even holding each other's hands and getting closer, they really couldn't hear their voices.

The crowd of people who were sweaty, hot, and smelly pushed them aside as they left, but with that energy they got in faster. Touched by the rumbling of the ground, they felt like their bodies were floating. Yet here they are, still only at the reception desk. Inside the exploding storm, a pair of middle-aged people of unknown nationality stood, as if perplexed, watching the money being passed on across the counter. So, it's not free?

A confused Banri took out his wallet, and showed them the leaflets he received from NANA-senpai. Instead of taking his money, they gave him two drink tickets. And then, bam, with some kind of stamps, they were stamped on the back of their left hand. But, however, in order to conceal themselves a little, they lowered their heads slightly and the two of them went further inside. If they stood still, they had a feeling that they would be angry.

And then, they were overwhelmed by the most terrifying sounds. Eventually they covered their ears, realizing as if their brain tissue on either side was pounded. Are the ears of other customers destroyed? They don't seem to care at all. Only Kouko and himself seem to be restless vagabonds. Scary, really. Anyway, everything is scary.

"Although Kaga-san might be fine, I'm not fine!", he said, thinking he should stay very close to his only friend, but Kouko looked around uneasily, looking around, and indifferent to Banri, he flung his bag neatly into a locker. Squatting down at the bottom step, he stuffed the evidence bag and then kicked the door violently to close it. To judge from the commotion, the Madam might have even broken it. And he forgot to pull out the key.

Banri hurriedly stuffed his bag with his, took the key from the locker and kept it firmly in his pocket. For some reason, Kouko moved uneasily, circling around. There was nothing strange with Madam, but she was trying to tear her black tights in some places, making holes in them.

As Banri looked on in amazement, he unbuttoned his tie and opened his blouse wide, exposing most of his chest. Taking off her hairband, her hair spread out like a lion's mane. Roughly combing her hair with her hands, the hair combed back stood up and puffy, she suddenly got a wild look in her eyes. And then he rubbed his eyes violently, which had long since messed with eye shadow, mascara, and such stains to where his eyebrows disappeared.

In some ways proud of himself, he showed off his gaze to Banri. The usually perfect Kouko disappears, suddenly a dangerous punk rocker girl. Passing through the inside, passing through a row of five women with lip piercings, the atmosphere barely changed. Arriving amidst the chaotic noise, no one pricked at the eyelashes.

"… Then I also …"

Kouko doesn't really want to disguise her, but for now she's just shuffling her hair with her fingers as well. But because her hair was limping like cat fur, there was no result.

Glancing at each other's faces and nodding, they once again went inside. Towards the stage, all you can see is the back of the audience's head, like the waves at sea level. Because of all the commotion, even with a shout could not be heard. Approaching the bar table, handing their drink tickets to the bartender, they were shown a plastic menu. Pointing at the beer, he showed it to Kouko as well. Kouko chose the Moscow Mule. They each received a fresh cup.

"Dragon-wort! Cheeeer!"

After all, even if they could not hear, he raised his voice, Kouko shouted something as well, and the two of them raised their cups to their lips.

Just then a group of people surged into the bar, hitting Kouko firmly behind his head. Kouko spouts cocktails all over Banri's face. While shouting something, he picked up his tie and wiped Banri's face quickly. They're back at the bar. It was completely immersed in the noise, Banri's ears became deaf, he could hear nothing more.

Leaning on the table, Kouko approached the bartender's ear and said something as loud as she could. Her torn tights peeked out from under her miniskirt, she raised her heels and shook her high heels. Enchanted, half of her beauty was hidden by her wild hair. While pretending to look at him, he saw a large man all over his body approaching Kouko. Banri, though a helpless knight (his last move was to lie down and play dead), seemed ready to rush back with heroism when, in the first place, he was,

"Tsuzaaeeenja, jeeeeeeeeooo! Uruuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

— Between songs, a few seconds of silence, like an air bag. Out of Kouko's throat came a howl, as if from the ghost of a dead female cat on earth that had died in a very cruel way.

That sound. No, that face. Her disheveled hair started flapping on her cheeks, her large eyes bordering on a pitch-black and glittering wet color. Is this what the injured animal feels? Really, you look good in this place, Kaga-san.

Rejecting the tattooed man, he took out the four cups in both of his hands and suddenly posed while turning towards him. Turning her narrow waist to the left and to the right, she said "Aha ☆", her whole face was smiling. Giving a clear blink, he returned to Banri's side. His white chest swelled outward, restrained by his tight vest. The shadow is so bewitching.

He's really drunk, this guy.

For a while now, very drunk, even more than he thought. Even deeper than him, looking at him.

"Ka, Kaga-san, wait a minute, even though it's too late, is this really alright !? Aren't you drinking too much !? I mean .. wow, that's loud!"

With what seemed like an explosion, they began to sing loudly once more, and while he started to crumble from the knee up again, Banri trembled out his cup towards Kouko. Kouko shouted, "NANA-senpai", or something. And with a smile, he drank the contents of one cup. "Oh ..", unintentionally watching Banri, he flicked his hand as if to say, "Drink, drink!"

Banri too, if that was going to happen, brought it to his lips,

"… Buhaa!"

This time, Kouko's face was sprayed. "Gyahaa!", Kouko's face dripped as she clapped and bowed twice, laughing heartily. But that's not all. His throat is burning, his nose is hurting. She's dizzy. Her ears had long since heard nothing. It was as if his five senses were completely paralyzed. "What happened!?", Banri staggered as he tried frantically to support his body with his own two legs. Until now he had been drinking things like beer, acid, high balls, and so on, but definitely not sake. And this strong sake, like fire.

Kouko's face seemed unconcerned, swallowing the same things. "But, drink, suddenly I feel tired like a rock!", Sit down.

"Whoa Kaga-san! Careful, careful! I mean, what, what was that !?"

Perplexed, while holding his hand and trying to help him stand up, he looked back at the bartender. While the bartender woman used the same cup to give the customer a drink, she stuck her tongue out at Banri and Kouko. Doing two things at once, a strange gleam must have been from his piercings.

Banri eventually came to the conclusion that it might be better if they just left. With everything up to this point, he might have calmed down enough already, and it already seemed like a good time for His Majesty.

"Kaga-san, let's go! Eh !? Kaga-san !? Kaga Koukoo !? You're not here!"

When she turned around, Kouko was not there, and she looked around in confusion. Glass in one hand, he staggered, looking through the gap between the backs of the other spectators for long hair.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute! Wait, wait!"

On stage three men waved chainsaws. The boring guy playing the drums was sneaking out, looking down his nose it was all. As if being driven by that terrifying voice, the spectators on the fully charged floor raised their fingers high, jumping up and down, despite being visibly insulting, rampaging for unknown reasons. Kouko quickly headed towards the middle of it all.

"Yes, Kaga-saan! Waitaminute! Waita minute!"

Shouted Banri, his voice quickly swallowing. On stage the maniacs jumped up and down to make things even crazier, then jumped down violently on the heads of the spectators below. Or rather, fall. Between the hands of the madmen, their unforgiving faces and slamming into their heads, Banri made no progress at all.

"Miiiitsuuuuoooo is fooooolllll ~!"

"Well," Kouko shouted in a lisp, trying to get on stage on the skinhead in the front row. His shoes are long gone. Then,

"You must be kidding, this is the end" said Banri, beginning to give up.

Greeted by the chain saw squad as if she were their queen, Kouko threw the contents of her cup over her own head. He threw away the cup, stuck out his tongue, and gave the finger with both hands. He threw his head back as he stabbed with all his might in heaven. Cheers shook the ground. The focus of the drummer's eyes, Kouko's miniskirt, was near his butt, and in an instant, everything at once increased. Black bra. A glimpse of his chest is visible. And then, both hands raised even higher, his neck and knees were chattering, that ...that, is the C-3PO pose!

Banri climbed up, as if he was jumping up and down with Jack Purcells. He went to the stage. Not fast enough to stop Kouko, it's impossible.

Drenched, bathed in sake from head down, Kouko inspires the band to dance like a robot. For a moment, even their rhythms were chopped. The saws are getting louder. Anytime now, it seemed like he would be able to jump to the center of the stage with a running start. Banri barely made it to the stage. He stretched out his hand to jump,

"Kaga-san, no, no!"

He grabbed Kouko's wrist.

He put his weight into it, all at once, picking it up with one hand. His body was pulled closer.

He felt like such a thing had happened before. Even before, even before …? The crowd was like — around dawn, on the river water surface.

If he falls, he'll die. Completely dead.

"I'm afraid—————!"

Crying like a child, shame, who is it? Me? Kaga-san is?

— Banri!

"…"

Kouko's eyes looked at Banri.

Standing on his ground, Banri also looked at Kouko.

Did someone call him that? With all the alcohol, it felt like fire was dancing around, spinning inside his head. The sparks whirled, everything he felt, everything he saw, anything and everything, like it was burning. Whatisit? How many things, in haste, without time, are burned, lost and lost? No way! He was completely lost, not understanding. Because he didn't understand, he didn't want to hear anything anymore. From the beginning, it would be good for him to not exist.

Ah, it is.

Always, nothing else but — loss.

"No, kun …?"

Kouko muttered in a small voice. … Mumbled, somewhat, his mouth seemed to move. Their hands were still fused, at that moment it seemed to stand still, but,

"If you're going to die, then die quickly, you idiot. This stage is mine."

Jabbed forcefully on his lower back, Banri was pushed off the stage. And of course, Kouko was with him.

As they quickly fall, with the guitar used to poke Banri in one hand, NANA-senpai can be seen with the microphone in hand, grinning like a demon.

At the front entrance, Banri collapsed.

Stepping into the collapsed Banri, creeping in the unlighted corridor, fumbling into the bathroom, Kouko could be heard entering.

"Are you okay…?"

"…"

Instead of a reply, again. Courageously.

Kicking his shoes to take them off, still unable to stand, he somehow managed to enter the room, following the wall. His hands are completely numb. Supporting Kouko, she had walked here all the way from the concert venue.

Falling to the floor with a thud, he rolled onto the carpet. The sound of running water, the sound of the toilet flushed. And he was still complaining, in pain.

Feeling a random pain in the place where he was sitting, it felt like something was there. Putting his hand in his pocket, pull out the key to the locker.

"… Ah .. we made it ... stuff in the locker, we left, right .. hey, Kaga-san, once again, we forgot something …"

There's no reply.

To cover up his feelings, he covered his ears, pulled himself inside, and without realizing it, Banri's eyes seemed to have closed.

* * *

When he woke up, he felt indistinct.

Still lying on the carpet, she felt so heavy that she simply lifted her eyelids. The world was still in the middle of the night, and in the room the light did not penetrate; it was already dark.

Kouko was in a dark corner of the room.

Leaning on her to Banri's bed, sitting on the floor, she looked out through the door wall. She cried.

Elbows propped up partially lifted knees, chin in one hand, other hand combing bangs, light from outside the window shining down on her cheeks, tears streaming down. His throat sounded hoarse, his nose creeping, fingers propping up his chin twirling his lips, Kouko continued to sob.

Although Banri wakes up, he may not notice it. Just one person, curled up in the depths of silence, no matter what others saw, the figure was still crying helplessly, overwhelmingly, looking somewhat like a young boy.

In other words, just like me, Banri thought.

Although no one had to cry loudly like that in this room, it felt as if here it was split in two, and he saw himself crying.

In the past, maybe she had cried like this, what she saw on the other side of the room. Here he knows: this has happened. Such a feeling had enveloped him.

Like a pale thin film covering the corner of his vision, right then and there,

"'Back'…?"

A faint glimmer, one mysterious syllable appeared in my mind.

When he shrugged his shoulders, the towel blanket fell off. Kouko must have put it there. Kouko, hearing Banri's voice, raised her crying face as if shocked.

"… Just now, what did you say …?"

With the voice of a little girl, Banri's strange dreams were quickly shattered.

"… Saying …"

"… You said 'back'."

"… your hands. See …"

"… your hands. See …"

Banri pointed to the back of Kouko's hand. Bending his wrist and staring at the back of his hand, "This?", he said in a hoarse voice. There was a faintly glittering neon yellow 'back' symbol.

"Ah. You are also …"

Hearing Kouko's words, she tried to look behind her own hands. To be sure, the same 're' glittered faintly. Really so? Is that a stamp from the reception desk at the concert venue? To make it easier to recognize in the dark at the time of re-entry, it is neon paint. "Now I understand," Banri began to nod.

"I mean ... why all things …"

"Who knows…"

Without a single sound in the room, the two of them stared at each one for a moment.

Are they able to think calmly like this since it is already night? Is it because they are barely breathing? Or, was it because their ears were defeated by that terrifying sound? … That, maybe.

"…"

Staring at the back of his hand, it seemed like he was about to start sobbing again. Was that syllable a 'switch' that had activated all of his grief? Re... Being on good terms with Mitsuo would they go to 're'staurants? Being on good terms with Mitsuo would they go to choose le'mons? Will they watch 'DVD re'ntal, will they dance' Re'njishi happily, or spawn in 'ra'nge —

"Kaga-san ... Are you okay?"

"… Sorry. I'm thinking about Mr. Two dimensions just now."

"A, what? That's surprising .. I mean, it has nothing to do with 'back', right?"

"No. There's no connection. Something that Mr. Two Dimensions said, I suddenly remembered .. then, I started crying again."

Reversing a smiling but tear-stained face towards Banri, Kouko straightened her legs and sat up neatly.

Lying his back to the bed, he slowly tilted his head, as if it was quite heavy.

"Trs. Two Dimensions would not be Mr. One Dimension. He seemed to be saying that in order to fix it, to his own satisfaction, that he should create the girl of his own dreams. As for me, when I heard him half-joking, I thought we were rather kind spirits. 'I want to bond with the perfect friend with the perfect scenario' .. said that he and I would do the same, I thought. But Mr. Two Dimensions, because he is what they call the boy 'otaku', he works in the world of literary creation. Since I'm not an otaku-ish girl, I work in reality. It was different from a simple fondness in hobbies, I thought. Have fun creating fiction "Mr. Two Dimensions were still somewhat childish, in fact, it seemed. But, ... Not like that, right?"

Combing her disheveled hair as if it was a nuisance, while staring at the ceiling, in a low voice she continued to speak.

"He's always more mature than I am, an adult. That's how I understand it. Other than me, no one could imagine incorporating the perfection I dreamed of into their bodies. In the real world, it can't be done. The world, in a selfish way, cannot do it. What would happen to human relationships if forced like that? … For Mr. Two Dimensions, or rather, a person who is not yet of age, assuming he has such an understanding, will be able to enjoy talking about it. Even though I was in the same year, because I was an idiot, there were so many things that I did not understand. I don't understand why Mitsuo doesn't like me. From the beginning, I didn't understand how anyone could say, "I haven't been able to realize my dream."

That's very painful.

All that.

Still staring at the ceiling, still crying, Kouko's voice could be heard very badly.

"Mitsuo, did he not say that I meant anything to him? 'Because I cannot have happiness, I cannot love either.' Didn't he say something like that? "

"Yes .. He did, right? I think so."

"After hearing that, I began to think. I never thought about whether Mitsuo would be happy or not. I just went after Mitsuo and said I loved him. But, can you say that I really think about Mitsuo's well-being? never respect Yanagisawa Mitsuo as a human being, as an existence in reality. My goal is paramount.Maybe I fail to understand that he has a life, an existence. Maybe I treated him like there was no more than one character in my own world. "

As if he had caught nothing, Kouko reached out her left hand in the darkness. 'Back' waving in the air.

"Crying like this, getting hurt like this — my obsession is to blame. This obsession .. ugly. … Mitsuo the one I love must love me. I will not accept that the one I love does not love me back. I will not accept that I am worthless. I will never recognize, I will never accept that I am. "Tell me ... Tell me it's not so .. Tell me that I'm worthless! "Saying that, I only pushed the responsibility on Mitsuo. But it is I who cannot accept or forgive myself. I arbitrarily judge my worth by whether Mitsuo loves me or not. Unfortunately, I have arranged all of it. way .. What I did to Mitsuo for a long time was wrong. "

Gasping for breath, Kouko continued, "but it took me a long time to notice." Whether he was crying or smiling, Banri could no longer tell the difference. However, his breathing made many sounds in the darkness.

"… Well, don't you think? Everyone, to some degree, has such feelings, don't they?"

While looking at his own 're', Banri tried carefully to speak softly, to make it seem as optimistic as possible. Whether he managed to comfort her or not, he did not know, but it was an idea that came to him back then.

"… As I am now, I agree, but then again, for whom would it not be very difficult normally? I think it's hard! Being imperfect, if I don't face it myself, I'll stop being, to speak. Doesn't everyone want to look away? … At least, I was like that. "

I was like that

After putting it into words, taking his eyes off reality and being shocked, his own form suddenly became focused. The man, 120 pounds of meat, was lying on a rug.

His breath goes up, but if he goes quiet here, he,

"I really had a hard time paying attention to it when I was rejected."

Now, addressing Kaga Kouko, he finds that he has taken his eyes off of his own form.

As if staring at the darkness, Kouko looked at Banri's face.

"'Rejected' ... by whom? Someone like Tada-kun, rejected by someone?"

"… People known as Tada Banri. Old Tada Banri is considered good by many. His family and so on. But I thought it was inevitable, but .. of course it hurts, and so, I can't go back home. They don't even understand. My parents, even now are waiting for the 'real Banri' to come back and say, 'I'm home!' Because of my current self, however introduced I was, I got the feeling 'it wasn't him.' That at any time, the original son, Tada Banri himself, just like that, will return to them — "

Raising his knees, almost the old Kouko sat there, putting his elbow on his knee. He shields his chin with his hand. Every time he spoke, his head swayed.

"— It seems to me as if they were hoping for my current self to disappear, as if she had died."

With what he said, in the depths of his heart, deep and invisible, his sadness began to show, very quickly and clearly formed.

He didn't want to say he was scared, he didn't want to see a single word come out of him.

"Actually all this time, I haven't been able to avoid fear, really fear! My personality, so easily vanished, anytime can easily come back to me, right? After all, if I was healed, wouldn't I have just died right now? Myself, dying .. won't everyone be happy? What about myself, staying put, not everyone will feel sad forever? Myself, in such a world, what the word, pr, ..predicament, elsewhere, does not exist, you can say, "

"Being sad like that, stop it!"

… It's dangerous. Hugely.

If Kouko did not speak too loudly, who knew what might happen to the anger that had overflowed within her, which had now turned into tears, overflowing from her eyes.

"I quit! I'm stopping. Of course."

Wiping roughly behind his hand, he saw Kouko sitting upright in the darkness.

"Well, if Tada-kun disappears completely, .. tonight is a shame, for me, for us. I want to keep the night a secret like that. Wouldn't it be better not to tell anyone? nay! Not in this life, or anywhere else, there is nothing but Tada-kun!

"…"

"What if we? So we're gonna do it. Really!"

"Aah, man,"

—Thank you. Kaga-san's chat.

Rescued, Banri rubbed his eyes with his fingers as if he was still lost.

"So don't disappear. Don't die either. Don't be afraid of things like that. That's not gonna happen! Because I, of course, will not forget Tada-kun. And then for me, for myself , the stupid, the shy, for me who can't help myself tonight, for me who only once this spring — "

With one sob, Kouko took a deep breath, for reasons she did not understand.

"Whatever happens, don't forget me …!"

Still don't understand, it's over now.

"… I will not forget! I really can't forget. How could I forget? As for myself, well,"

When those words came out, Banri thought of something else.

"Kaga-san, I love you!"

Even if it is remembered, even if it is completely forgotten. The result is always the same.

After moving too fast, he could not return. Today, at this time it is, never again.

At the same time, he was born and he was dying. No matter how important it was, no matter how he wanted to stop before, everything was lost equally. In fact, nothing can change things.

But, for that reason,

"… I love you! Kouko Kaga. Really."

She loves him.

Kouko opened her eyes wide, the 'repeat' in her hand covered her mouth. That's for sure, though Banri too. That was a big surprise. It was completely safe, they said, and suddenly it was neat and completely cut as if with a razor.

But, he loves Kouko.

However it happens, Banri loves Kouko. In his head and in his heart, if he pays attention, he is full, full of Kouko. He's full of exploding. There was nothing else but an awkward, klutzy, and beautiful woman, every day she thought about it. Without realizing it, it became like this.

And then, if he could, he wanted Kouko to be like that as well. He wanted her to think only of him. It doesn't have to be today. Someday it will be fine.

"… Saying things like that. To confess on a night like this, it wasn't very honest with me. Sorry."

Dragging his blankets, Banri puts himself as far away from Kouko as possible. Successfully reaching the wall, he sat down on his knees once more.

Dumped, then on the same day drunk and went to a man's place, then the man said he loved you. So cliche. A dangerous situation. He thinks Kouko must be scared.

He threw his legs and hands weakly, as he did not have the spirit to utilize tonight, and it was his intention to make an easy-to-understand appeal.

"Even though I'm not talking about forgetting, or anything like that. Nor was it my intention to pretend nothing had happened .. About what just happened, I don't think you will suddenly forget about Yana-ssan. I mean, it's okay if you reject me for now. Ah, though it won't be fun .. Anyway, tomorrow there is. "

"T, tomorrow …!? Tomorrow !? What !?"

"Don't we have to take our stuff? Maybe in the locker we left him in. Do you not remember?"

"B, bag …!? Eh !? We do !?"

"Yes, right. I mean, didn't we leave those things behind when we escaped the mess? What if it's for destiny?"

Tilting his head in confusion, Kouko,

"… If you call it that .. yeah, something, again. About the same thing. But it's still better, .. it should be fun for me."

Little by little, he began to laugh into the darkness with a soft trembling voice.

"Whatever we leave behind, it looks like it will eventually be fine. It seems we are unexpectedly sturdy. I mean, we just lost our shoes. Again, actually!"

His voice became rough from crying, but Kouko still laughed. He also made Banri laugh. Wanting to cry, wanting to laugh, his chest ached, he scratched his head in confusion. Touching the tip of his nose, his bangs were too long.

Maybe they're waving to Kouko.

But, to himself, loving her was not something he could stop.

But even if they can't be lovers, being friends would be good, to spend time together.

So — after this again, how many things did they leave behind? He wondered how many things they had left behind, how many times had the two of them fallen? That doesn't matter. He wants to be with Kouko. Therefore, he loves Kouko. Thinking about it, Banri smiled once more.

How much time he could spend with her that he did not know, even though everything would definitely shine brilliantly.

So that they may shine, he is born. If he said something like that, as if joking, now this could be trusted.

"… It's time, right? The first train will be leaving soon, Kaga-san, so you can go back. I can take you to your place! Aren't the others there worried about you?" ? Have you called? "

"It's okay. I'll take the cab back."

"Do you want to take a shower? I swear on my life I won't peek through the keyhole!"

"I said it's okay. Even though we are a disaster, I will not contaminate the cab seat. Really, thank you. Sorry."

"For what?"

"For many things, for all things. … Really, it's okay, on this road, then I'll be able to take a taxi. I'll be fine alone, for sure."

Before Banri starts waking up, Kouko looks around, muttering about her bag. And then, combing his long hair from his face in annoyance,

"Is that so? It's left behind."

"Tomorrow at night, let's take it together! I mean, together we can get there."

"It's okay, it's okay! I can go by myself!"

"Why? I'm not gonna do anything. I'll just go with you to the taxi stop! While we were there, I wanted to go to the convenience store. Ah, I feel like getting ice cream."

"Go to the department store tomorrow! … With the way we deal with today's disaster, I really don't want to be seen in the light!"

"Since I've seen enough unpleasant things, I'm fine. After all, it's a bit late for that, what about the C-3PO's onstage action."

"wwws! It can't be!"

For Kouko it was a bit late, covering both ears and being interested. Just like that, he ran across the room, towards the entrance. Chasing him in confusion,

"Hold, hold, hold! Wear this!"

In a corner near the entrance, several grocery store sandals were lying around, jumbled together. She tries to turn on the lights, but Kouko cries, "No, no, no!", and to escape she flies out of the entrance and leaves.

"See you tomorrow! I'll really see you here!"

Called like that in fact, it didn't look too bad. Reluctantly, he attentively notices Kouko taking the elevator from his door, and once it starts to go down, he goes to the veranda.

Kouko exited the entrance, dragging her sandals as she turned to the sidewalk. On the road, illuminated red by the sign of a free taxi, only one taxi awaits. He's that one.

Banri, pulling his head in relief, nevertheless notices that Kouko can be seen looking up from the taxi window. Of course he saw, or something he understood, but Banri calmly waved at him. He wondered if he saw it. He decided he didn't.

Banri, pulling his head in relief, nevertheless notices that Kouko can be seen looking up from the taxi window. Of course he saw, or something he understood, but Banri calmly waved at him. He wondered if he saw it. He decided he didn't.

* * *

Today's topic — you can't deny the signs, he thought.

As he walked, looking at the scenery, a tea plantation spreading before him, the lines of the soft green dome continued into the distance, Banri thought. It smells a lot like manure. "Hmm, what do I see, what is it?", The high electric fan for protection against ice looked down on him, noticed and investigated him.

And then, after that, can not stand it anymore, escape — because they are there.

He took Hikari from Tokyo station to Shizuoka, arriving in less than an hour. After taking a short break at Starbucks at the transfer gate, he brought in an ** that knew more stations. Monument to his home station: a tea bush disguised as an onion. Regardless, everything around the place seemed to say "tea".

Getting home takes two hours. Some people travel a lot, to school or work, in their world, maybe. Seasonal tickets for bullet trains cost money, and Banri received an allowance. Actually, he didn't have much of a choice. Nevertheless, she wants to get out of the house, and that's the reason she gave Kouko.

"THE Shizuoka", as it is called, feels like walking across a tea plantation, several roofs of elongated buildings, trying to be seen as a city.

He entered a very dark path by the fruit trees, went through the open gate and went to open the door. It's not locked.

"… I seduce …"

Speaking of remembering, he already remembered.

"It's home!", He has been told, and because for one year he lived there, the memories of that time have given him the feeling that it was "home".

She took off her shoes so she could surprise her mother when she came out,

"…What are you doing!?"

"I have some free time, and for some reason I'm back here."

"Eh !?"

He stared in surprise at the son who had suddenly returned from Tokyo for no particular reason.

She only had enough for one way round trip .. that was the real reason Banri came, but mother didn't care at all.

On the morning after his confession to Kouko, he felt very embarrassed, remembering her. They had arranged to meet that night, but he had no idea what they could talk about if they did. How many hours until night, he didn't even know what to do to make it a lively event.

If so, let's go home, he thought. Going home for a while, until night time will definitely stop flowing, the wait is filled with conversation. Frankly, they talk too much. Although he did not feel the need to escape from the memories overnight, at least for now he could escape from living alone.

And besides, after that, there was one more thing.

"I haven't eaten anything since morning. I want to eat something."

"Why so suddenly? If you come back, then call and tell me you'll be back! I'm going to Grandma's place to work in her garden this afternoon! Since you're back, you want to come too ? The season has just arrived, and it's really messy there. "

"It's okay, I'll graduate. Today is just a visit. I have a lot of things to do tonight."

"Eh? Whatisit? Is that so?"

After asking for food, and after saying a few things to appease her mother, she went to her room on the second floor.

There was something he thought he should see.

Throwing her small solitary bag in bedsheets, she had no choice but to open the room closet, filled with memories for a year. After being brought to her new home just plain clothes, her High School uniform hangs there, neatly placed. The moon certainly did.

He then took out a cardboard box. Pulling him to the floor, he took off the tape and opened it. Cell phones are broken and high school graduation albums, stored as memories, are stored perfectly.

How many hours before?

In a quiet place from his home, he receives an SMS from Kouko. The message, probably because of the tension of the morning, probably because of a hangover, was very long. In that place, the sentence was like that.

'Thinking of things like being rejected, rejecting Tada-kun would be the same.'

Reading that, he did not understand it right away.

He thought about it for a moment, thinking. Almost certainly he had to go to someone else — Banri from before know a lot of people, maybe that Banri had rejected someone, so to speak.

That he had lost all his memories while he was living in this room was a pain he could not escape. He was even worried that people would try to come. But, unable to remember the pain, Banri completely refuses to tell his mother. He didn't want them to come and see him. He doesn't want to make contact with them. He had not even considered repairing his phone, so he would be found by those before. And then he left the house, as if he was running away.

I was dead, he thought, and wanted to forget.

Getting lost, for the second time and knowing there was something big he couldn't get back, was terrifying.

Setting herself up as she had never known, she took the album from where it was stored in a cardboard box.

She is not perfect — something big has been destroyed in her. That kind of thing is hard to accept. For the moment maybe, he couldn't do anything.

But, he wants to change.

Denied painful. Not received sick. Seeing the pain is painful. By recognizing that pain, first of all, accept your present state, he thought.

Although he was not required at the time he lost, if something was achieved with this self-birth, he wanted to make time matter. In other words, you can't help but do it. So he thought.

From now on, if he met someone, even someone he met in the past, even himself, whoever it was, he did not want to reject them.

For that reason, he opened the album. He needs a little courage. When he first opened the album cover, a strange and light voice came out.

"… A …"

When he immediately saw his own face in the right place in the picture, the smiling portrait of the class, he slightly gasped. Third year, 4th grade, Tada Banri. Tenth on the line.

He traced his fingertips slowly over his unknown self, and the faces of his unknown classmates. He still had a feeling of fear for what he was feeling, but could no longer remember. He suppressed those feelings; he wanted to know who they were. He wants to be capable.

But, his heart was racing.

Forward and down the line from the unknown Tada Banri, the person photographed gave a sign of peace. Fifteenth person in line.

Hayashida Nana's.

"… Uh?"

From inside the album, a group of Polaroid photos had slipped out. Take it, he checks it. Quite a few of them are written in bold. On the one hand, with a different handwriting, "Banri idiot, almost", was written. The two in the photo were playing around, looking at each other with crossed eyes. "You've even forgotten your graduation!!!", written all around the picture.

"Linda graduated college, Banri was arrested".", Is all that was written.

There are pictures of them both. In the classroom, in the gymnasium, on the grounds, in the clubroom, in the uniform, in the sweatshirt, smiling widely, even the fillings on their teeth show, and the long wooden bridge.

Smiling, cheek to cheek.

"… Ap, what …? What the fuck …? … Linda-senpai …?"

Remember, don't forget!

Did Linda say something like that?

He stands.

His socks slipped on the floor as he ran from his room,

"Banri !? Isn't your ramen boiling !? Where are you going !?"

"Wait on! Wait a minute, look …"

When he put on his shoes, what did he understand,

"To the bridge!"

The bridge is not too far from home. Not yet fully understood, he was looking for something as he ran. Just what he was looking for still did not know. "Stay, if I don't go ..", he thought. He ran and he saw. If there was something he had to do there, something he had to get, whatever he wanted. He realized that he wanted nothing more than to do that.

There is a paved road from among the mountains, so you can ride. At times like that he thought, "I have to get a scooter license, really." As he passed by, he looked next to a red banner that read, "The Entrance to the Seven Gods of Fortune."

Before long, a very long bridge appeared in front of him.

"… What, how ridiculous …!?"

Breathing pain. Gasping for air, he began to cross the bridge. This is the bridge where Banri fell. What really happened at that time, no one knows. Because the Banri in question had forgotten, and not even the police knew.

"… Linda-senpai ... How is it possible …!?"

Show me, please, she muttered. Why, are you next to me? You are who you are to me, what, what are you? Why don't you talk to me again?

Passing through the midpoint of the bridge, his legs suddenly stopped. Tired, he began to faint.

"… What strange sound is this …!?"

Surprisingly coaxing, the suggestive feeling brought by the ringing of the bell resounded unexpectedly among the mountains. Yes ~~ n, boka ~ n, ufu ~~~~ n, with such mood. Ring bell — who did it?

Dizziness made him kneel. He's stuck to the guardrail. In order not to look down, he closed his eyes. It might be drunk. Unable to stand, Banri covered his face with his hands. Dizziness, her legs shaking. No, is that a vibrating bridge?

That was at the time.

When the idiot bell rang, on this bridge, he realized he heard the sound of many legs running towards him.

He reflexively looked up, and then, he saw a group of people passing by. He saw the shape of the main runner. The man saw it too. He stared at Banri's face steadily, his jaw sagging, looking like a fool.

That guy—

"Banri!"

Is that me?

Call her name, grab her elbow, is that Linda?

Whatisthis? What the hell is going on? To hold back the dizziness, as if his brain was spinning, he bit his lips. Muttering, he felt thick-headed and slow, as if he was suffering from anemia.

Opening his eyes once again, it was just a silent bridge, continuing. There's no one else. He could not hear the bell anymore. … Is it a dream, perhaps? Was it the result of his accident? Did his head somehow become funny? Or just because of his drunkenness? Or, did he misinterpret something he had seen?

Back to his senses, in his back pocket his phone vibrated.

"Banri?"

"Yana-san …"

'What's wrong with you, where are you? Any outside? Something I, today in my spare time .. I mean, I want to talk a little bit. About yesterday, various things .. can we do that? '

"…I'm not here…"

"Huh? Whahuh? I can't hear you very well."

A dying cherry tree on the bank of a dry river, a big sky. Friends voices. Long bridge. A strong breeze. Other than Banri, there was no one else on the bridge.

Only Banri was standing there now, alone, standing still among the sights. In the midst of reality, there is. The ramen was boiling, his mother became frustrated, at such a time he existed.

If he could recognize her like that, he might be able to be at peace forever.

* * *

Tada Banri looked at Linda.

The sports science lecture was suddenly canceled, among the students who had hurriedly broken up, he saw the form of Linda. Linda noticed Banri's gaze as well, and waved, "See you, Tada Banri." While Banri was staring at that face, he could not move. There was so much she wanted to ask him. But he can't. Not knowing his reason for keeping a secret, he did not know what he was doing and did not know. Wanted to ask him, "What? Do you have anything?", Banri kept staring at Linda's face.

A beautiful girl, her long and beautiful hair done carefully, stared at the back of Banri's head. His name is Kaga Kouko.

On Kouko's profile, with a complicated look, but hiding from being found, a slightly sunburned man was watching. His name is Yanagisawa Mitsuo.

Behind Mitsuo, after noticing earlier where he was looking, a girl was thinking about whether to call him or not. His name is Oka Chinami.

Although familiar faces were present, although he did not take up sports science, another man had come to the classroom. His name is Satou Takaya.

Passing through the background, like a dark shadow there was a woman. Her name, of course, is NANA.

My name is Tada Banri.

I'm dead, eighteen-year-old boy.

Unconsciously by anyone, without anyone knowing, I always keep an eye on Tada Banri's affairs. I see everyone's business.

I sat in the first chair in the back, just relax, legs stretched out. Today the sunlight is very strong, and the class is warm, making everyone sleepy. While staring at the back of Banri's boring head, I found my own closed eyes. I started to get very sleepy.

For now — dead.