Let me Hate You

Part-5 June 2015?

Zemira no longer chatted with Faisal, even when Faisal sent him a message. Zemira answered him briefly and very casually. As much as possible Zemira avoided Faisal after knowing the man's presence.

Disappointed it becomes Zemira's reason to avoid as far as he goes with Faisal, to be honest at first Zemira did have time to hope for Faisal because he was a good boy. It was precisely that hope gave a bitter bitter bitter bitter, unable to taste Zemira again to open her heart again.

And when God gave the medicine back, after a few days it disappeared from Faisal's news. God sent someone whose figure could not be diverted by the sight of his eyes, his eyes caught the figure by accident.

Right in front of his workplace facing one of the hospitals, and right in front of him there is IGD. Starting from the front of the IGD hospital, then somehow IGD is a spectacle that is often viewed by all employees who work with Zemira.

Somehow his view caught the figure of a man who was in front of the IGD, because of his different figure. The man was wearing a sarong ala batik that and sturdy clothes, at first Zemira saw it was usual to think Zemira he was one of the people who visited the patient that way, but it wasn't just that day that he saw it.

A few days later his eyes continued to catch the figure of the man, whether it was who and why with Zemira.

"Who the hell he ko very often come to IGD back and forth that way, less work rich deh" said Zemira lirih at the time, not heard by anyone.

But his opinion changed when Zemira recaptured the man who was helping one of the hospital guards who carried patients into the IGD in an emergency situation.

"He is very good ampe dalam bopong that" said Zemira lirih back.

"Astagfiruallah sorryin Zemira O Allah" said spontaneously Zemira realized that he was fornication to someone who was not his mahrom.

"Why Zee?" ask one of his partners.

"Engga papa ka" Zemira replied instantly turning his gaze away from the figure.

The next day Zemira somehow began to rethink the man's figure in her memory, and he became the cure for her disappointment in Faisal.

Although Zemira thought it could be just an outlet of his disappointment with Faisal or was it true that he wanted to know the figure, I don't know Zemira himself did not have the answer.

And when it happened to be Zemira's morning shift, she started tidying up her wares to start selling. Accidentally right in front of him a row of security guards swarming might want an apple and start his work, Zemira recaptured the figure he admired was in one of the security guard line.

"Well that's him, turns out he's a security guard? pantesan aja he often go back and forth there" said Zemira Lirih immediately rushed to avert his eyes and a little down embarrassed.

"Your smile is like an opium, though I see it without you knowing. Looking at you from afar, the beauty of God created. Will I fall in love with her, should I find out who is brighter than the others? to the point of making eyes as if he was the only one in the world" Zemira created a beautiful sentence for him.

Most fall in love makes people become poetic of course, Zemira is drunk on love who either the purpose is right or wrong. But often he quarrels with his heart saying that what he did was wrong, looking at men who were not halal for him to look at.

Sometimes even Zemira beristigfar to disperse her who continues to look towards the figure of the man, either in love because of what will the figure.

"Why do my eyes often know of its existence? even I like it for no reason but have not fallen in love because I do not know him" asked Zemira on the mirror reflection that is currently in front of him.

That's when day after day Zemira was so happy even though just looking at it from afar even if only a glimpse. But he knew who he was. Because it looks like the man is so perfect, Zemira opened the book she used to write and wrote something in it with full service and question marks.

...Jakarta, June 21, 2015...

Oh Allah..

Just go to me! if it's true that the security guard brother already has a girlfriend even married, I'll stop. Seeing her from afar, smiling at her alone, watching her from afar, enjoying her sweet smile, and making her the content of my prayers. I'm gonna quit.

I don't know for sure what I feel, what makes me love it, maybe I can't say love it because I can't explain it myself.

What I saw from him, I don't know? I myself feel confused, but the eyes always find it wrong to look at you, as if fate allows my eyes to see with pleasure.

I don't know why there are different things, your pretentious style, your attitude that looks haughty, but once you smile melts all my judgments on you.

I want to enjoy your smile for myself, but I realize that love does not have to have, that love is not to be reciprocated. He deserves to be happy with his choice.

What can be done at this time pray for him, if in this time I am not in his life, hopefully in the future I can be in his life. Even if he's not happy with me, it's enough that I see him happy with the woman he loves.

I need to know you first!!!!

The first diary that Zemira wrote about love that had never been at all before.