JUST HUG ME FOR A SECOND

OCEAN OF HEARTS

On the terrace that night, Evan was enjoying the view of the waves winding in the ocean. Although it was dark, its roar was clear. Many times the waves hit the beach. I don't know what the waves are trying to destroy. I don't know what the waves are trying to prove, only the rigors are visible.

Suddenly Silvi comes over to Evan and sits beside him. Evan caught a glimpse of Silvi's arrival. Then he looked back at the sea.

"Don't make him wish, Van. I don't want Aluna to be disappointed" Silvi said without looking at Evan.

Evan looked at Silvi with a confused look and was astonished to hear Silvi's sudden statement. For a moment Silvi turned to look at Evan and showed a faint smile at Evan's confused face.

"You and Aluna, Van," explained Silvi who made Evan understand immediately. He smiled and leaned his body on the back of his stool.

"I have to how!?" evan said with a deep look without looking at Silvi this time. Silvi looked back at Evan intensely.

"You're like that wave, Van. Refuse, push, but you keep dragging him in the middle. You rejected Aluna, but long ago it was like dragging Aluna into your arms. When he gets into your arms, then you drown him, with a confused attitude. Are you guys going to keep this up!? Without talking, you let him do whatever he likes. Then you describe it as his fault!" silvi said in. Evan turned to Silvi." That's what you did to Aluna!" Silvi said again, this time they looked at each other. "Van, stop suspecting everyone. Not everyone will hurt you. Don't trap them. If you want to be with Aluna. Do so. Don't confuse!" silvi begins to find Evan's fear. "Aluna accepts you when everyone rejects you. He hugged you when everyone blamed you. When he leaves you, you start to get scared. You're starting to be a fierce storm. Trying to drown Aluna and dump her to the edge, you try to cover up your feelings by hurting Aluna. You swayed him, Van. Stop measuring the past! Aluna's not your father!" silvi's words made Evan even more stunned.

"When I was a baby she took me home with her. He accepted me. But when someone rejects me. He alienated me. He made me such a mistake. He pulled me. But when I walked away, he was trying to get me back. That's what Aluna did. Like my father," said Evan while holding tightness in his chest with a direct look at the sea. Silvi was speechless, Evan was much more injured, much more frightened. Evan always kept his wounds alone and hid behind his silent and closed attitude.

This is the first time Silvi has seen Evan cry. The man he knew was tough and very strong in front of anyone, trying hard to hold back his cries. Evan has always been able to show his tough side. Now it looks weak, and it seems to open the veil that he has been trying to hide. Open up when someone starts to open up to the truth, he is unable to deny it anymore.

Evan seemed to quickly wipe his tears with a smile and as if he was rubbing his eyes, but it was obvious that he was holding back his cries. Silvi knows Evan is always scared to leave. But he did not expect that Evan was as happy as it was with his past. She forgave him, but he remembered. The wound was like a ruler that Evan always measured on everyone, because it was only Anto and a few people who could really dive into his heart. The others just become ordinary friends with Evan. Not a place to share.

"When my father burned everything I had, I felt like I had nothing left. Every time someone touches my stuff, I feel like they're gonna take it. I have always lived with the fear of loss and the fear of being ignored. I don't want mine to touch, anything else to turn to. Anto is the one who never ignores me. Every time I called him, he always turned his head, he never turned his face away from me. Therefore, he is the only person who can accompany me all this time. The only person I've always been looking for and will never pull me over. Why can't Aluna be like Anto, she's not there when I'm down. He went away and turned away" Evan said late.

Aluna heard it behind the door. Because of that Evan always dislikes hers in touching others. Because for him he has nothing. Keeping what is in his possession with him is the way he keeps himself protected. Stupid Aluna at that time, she left when Evan lost his son, he instead blamed Evan for the death of his son. When Soni oppresses him, he is with Soni. Even when Evan divorces her, he does not try to defend Evan.

"That's why you hate Aluna. When Aluna was with Soni, you felt like you had lost. When Aluna kicked you out you felt Aluna dump you, it was Aluna who lost you, Van. You guys are losing each other!" Silvi tried to understand him better.

"But I still can't stay away from him, no matter what he does, I still miss him. Even though I was with him I was afraid. I was afraid of his weakness protecting himself and our relationship, as if making me feel like I could lose him at any time with that attitude. I hated his weakness, I tried to avoid it.But, I still want him. Only him. I can't accept anyone else anymore. I feel trapped. My mind asked to stay away from him but my heart always pulled him into my life. Whenever I wanted to stay away from him, fate always tried to bind us. That's why he's stuck in my waves" Evan said with a deep, meaningful smile, like he was laughing at himself.

"You love Aluna, Evan. You're already in love. Don't avoid it anymore. You can't love Dance. So, let go of Dance. He will be hurt later" Silvi said. Evan was silent for a moment.

"But... He's too good!" said Evan can not deny the sincerity of Dance to him.

"I think the three of you are the same. Dea who likes the origin, Aluna with strange behavior. But it turns out there are still people who can be invited to chat," said Evan, making Silvi laugh to hear it. Aluna who happened to eavesdrop from earlier, laughed. But fortunately not heard by Evan and Silvi. He left before he was found out. "Udah night. Get ready by 9 we'll be home tomorrow." Remember Evan before you leave. Silvi gave her thumb. They also went to their own rooms.

***

In the room Evan began to think. Silvi was right, Evan never opened his heart to just anyone. Only Anto he received unsuspectingly, the rest he would measure and wait for proof.

"Nto! I think it's arrogant, huh?" ask Evan.

"Lo likes it a lot, but lo kayak avoids. Tongkrongan friends often say, if your child is difficult in deketin. They want to talk together. Just exchanging thoughts," said Anto relaxed.

Evan started thinking again.

"One more. Most think lo, Van," exclaimed Anto and immediately went to sleep on Evan's back. Evan only stared at Anto at a glance and then he slept beside Anto.

***

The next day they were ready to go home. They all get ready, Aluna is helped by Dea and Silvi in cleaning up because she is still weak due to yesterday's incident. Plus his legs are also seen still swollen because when in the sea his feet had hit a chunk of wood carried by the waves.

Finish them all straight to the airport. Evan looked worried about Aluna who was seen still holding back pain in her legs. But he did not want to get close to Aluna. He doesn't want to make Aluna misunderstand, however he has to keep up the feeling of Dance. He couldn't possibly ignore Dance for her sake. He only dared to look at Aluna with distance without daring to touch.

Arriving at the airport they immediately headed for a plane that would take off shortly. Aluna sees Evan passing while she is being helped Silvi to walk.

***

While on the plane Evan was sitting in the back seat, he could still see Aluna from her position. He noticed the beautiful girl leaning on the plane bench with Silvi. Anto was already in his comfortable position with his headphones beside Evan, Dea was the same across from Aluna. Evan looked at Aluna's slightly swollen legs. Then he came back to see Aluna, she looked comfortable with her position. Then Evan tried to rest, closing his eyes.

Aluna looked back, Evan was closing his eyes. He looked back to the front as the plane began to take off.

SERIATE...