IDENTITY: The Dark Story

Diaries 2

October 13, 1995

Honestly, this is the happiest day and time of my life. Because today is the day...

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•••

"Hey, can you come down for a second."

Without answering anything I just went downstairs, I don't know why I asked him to come down but he also got off his bike.

"His heart looks beautiful..."

I don't know why he suddenly said that, but the sun looks beautiful. The red color in the sky at sunset in the rice fields, plus the wind that blows softly to make my hair rise calmly.

"Yes, it's really beautiful." I said.

After a while of looking at the sunset, Adithya suddenly directed her gaze towards me and looked at me seriously.

"Why are you looking at me like that." I said, not daring to look back in shame.

"Are you.. Is there someone you like?"

I was surprised when I suddenly asked like that...

"That's. there's..."

"Does he know you like him?"

I didn't answer just shaking my head.

"That's it. So I still have a chance dong."

My eyes widened and I accidentally looked into his eyes...

"W-what do you mean." I said and turned my eyes away from his face again.

At once Adithya took both hands and said:

"I like you..."

DEG

It felt like running from here as fast as possible, but it was impossible because both of my hands were tightly grasped by it.

"Anu. you must be kidding me right," said I who still turned my face away from him but he pulled my chin and said:

"Try to look me in the eye" he said, trying to point my face in front of him. "Am I really joking?"

Our eyes really met, I saw his very sharp eyes like an eagle. I really saw the seriousness of him on the other hand I was doubtful, did he really like me? I was so short and weak-looking, did he really like me? My heart feels heavy.

"You better stop this charade!" I said as I let go of his grasp and turned around to leave him.

But nevertheless...

"W-what are you doing! Quickly let go of me! Someone will see!" For a moment of abandoning him he suddenly grabbed one of my hands and pulled myself in his arms.

"You're jasmine.. It really suits you."

"What!" I was surprised to hear and I was getting thrashed out of his arms, and finally got away from him. "I didn't think you were the one."

"Sorry!" Again he took my hand. "I didn't mean it that way, I mean earlier. jasmine fits you perfectly."

"What do you mean?!" I asked who was still upset.

"You're really like jasmine, you'll find out later why I said that."

I was more confused, without thinking long I turned away from him and immediately went home...

"You just left without answering me at all?"

My steps stopped and said:

"It wasn't clear just now."

"It's not an answer, it's an attitude that tries to avoid something."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but at least it represents all the answers right."

After I said that, Adithya approached me and somehow this time I couldn't get away from her.

"Of course it's different, beautiful. The mouth you speak is not necessarily in line with your mind, the attitude you show is not necessarily the will of your heart, as the saying 'do not look at the book from the cover' if the statement I said just now wasn't clear to you, then I would really open myself up to you..."

Why is he so close when I don't expect to show him everything he's hiding...

"Originally you know I get angry when your friends try to get you closer to the man of their choice, I get jealous when you're close to another man you're familiar with, I deferred to even reject all my friends' calls just to be able to drive you home and be alone with you, I rarely even attend college just to be able to spend time with you in the library, I picked up a lot of books in the library just to get your attention, I really believe in myself that I can get you but looking at this now I feel like it's all gone to waste. I want you so much, I really love you."

DEG

The tightness I felt in my chest and like an electric shock made me unable to make the slightest sound, all I could do was shut my mouth with both hands. I did not expect to hear all the statements from him, I could not stem the tears that wanted to come out and unconsciously wet my cheeks.

"Stupid! Stupid, I. I didn't mean to." I said that I suddenly hugged her directly from the front.

"It's okay, I know you're not that kind of woman," she replied as she returned my embrace and gently rubbed my hair.

"Actually I'm not sure of myself, it's too sudden and not ready at all."

"It's okay, even if you answer 'no' I'll take it with pleasure."

"Gee!" I immediately took off my embrace. "That's not what I mean..."

CUPS...

Suddenly... Adithya kissed my forehead and said:

"Then have I accepted dong?"

For a moment he said like that, I just lowered my gaze and nodded slowly in embarrassment.

"Hehe, so we're officially made, right" he said, showing a genuine smile. "We'd better get home soon maybe your parents are looking for you."

Adithya got on her bike and I sat behind her, without a word I said maybe because I was embarrassed or happy? My cheeks feel hot and my feelings feel free from the burden.

"So every morning I'm gonna take you off campus, you don't mind, do you?"

"As far as you are. nerds," I replied with a smile.

"Hehe."