I Can Live's

0.6 Lust

"Don't forget to brush your teeth before going to bed" Yifan said as she saw Fei jump into bed.

Fei threw a pillow towards Yifan's face then replied like this. "Cashy. Don't get too smart to set me up."

Instead of nagging back like usual Yifan instead immediately said something very different from the previous topic. "Are you not sad? Because soon your father will die." said Yifan suddenly shifted the subject.

"... I don't know." Fei replied softly.

"I'll give you two questions you have to answer them honestly." Yifan looked at Fei meaningfully.

Fei sighed then he also looked at Yifan. "Say I'll answer you honestly."

"My first question is do you love and love your father like any other child?"

"... I don't love and love him." Fei replied honestly.

"For the second question, do you hate your father so much and hate him, do you want to kill him?"

"I can't kill him because I don't hate my father."

"If you keep answering like this what kind of relationship you have been living all this time.

Fei looked straight ahead with a blank look. "Honestly, I don't know Yifan. I don't even have those two feelings for my father."

Yifan then approached Fei he then rubbed the teenage boy's face lovingly. "You can tell me everything if you want."

Fei grinned at Yifan's words. "What did I tell you. I'm pretty sure you know more about everything that's happened to me" he said haughtily.

Yifan removed her hand from Fei's face then she immediately replied to him. "I know everything but I want to hear the story straight from your mouth because it's going to feel so different." Yifan looked at Fei with a hard to interpret look.

"Then you want to embarrass me, don't you? You're the same as telling me to open up my personal disgrace."

"That's up to you. But did you know that sharing stories like this might make you a little more open, you're so secretive." Yifan glanced at Fei for a moment before he finally said like this. "Didn't you ever pray for a friend so you could complain to him."

"What do you mean?"

Yifan grinned. "Not only can God hear your prayers, but even the devil can hear your prayers, if you feel desperate."

"It never crossed my mind that you astral beings can hear human prayers" Fei replied in disbelief. "Then can you also grant human prayers?" ask Fei.

Yifan flicked her shoulders then replied like this. "One can grant your prayers only to God, but the devil can also grant your prayers in a bad sense while we the angel of death can only hear can not grant."

"Why can't it?"

"Because we the angels of death must act neutrally. We have no responsibility to grant human prayers. We are only responsible for delivering your souls. We have no right to interfere in the affairs of other human beings unless we are bound by a contract with a human being whom we have chosen. But there is one other exception, we can grant one prayer only for the near-death person but only for the person who has a good heart we will grant his prayer." Yifan gave an explanation for the question that Fei asked.

Hearing the explanation from Yifan actually made Fei feel frustrated. It feels like all the explanations just sound like mere joke or rather nonsense. It was hard to believe such an absurd explanation.

Fei messed up his hair then looked at Yifan with a hard to interpret look then he retorted like this. "Truly I do not know what to say about all your absurd explanations. But this time I don't want to talk about it, so it's up to you."

"I'm not asking you to believe my explanation but all of those explanations are true so I'm not making up for the explanation I've given you. But yes, if you want to believe a little bit about the angel of death who can grant one request it might not hurt."

Fei clucked. "Don't mess with Yifan. Please just say it clearly you want it."

"From now on I'll be your friend as well as your place to complain" Yifan replied directly to the point.

"Hey what do you mean! A fella? you're not kidding, are you.geez." Fei held his head and looked dislikeful.

"Our ck also needs to be a friend not only limited to colleagues. After all, you ever prayed to ask a friend, right? So let's just say that your prayer has been answered. Come on Fei I'm not that bad to be a friend." Yifan said.

Fei rolled his eyes lazily but deep down he felt very happy because his prayers were answered even though he felt a little uneasy that his friend was Yifan. Honestly, Fei was prestige with Yifan because he looked dislike even though in his heart he might be cheering for joy like a football supporter.

"Alright__ well I accept you as my friend even with a heavy feeling" Fei said.

Yifan was seen sparkling when she heard Fei accept her as a friend. "Because we've been friends, so can you tell me about your father." Yifan looked at Fei expectantly.

Fei was silent for a moment before finally opening his mouth and telling Yifan everything. "... When I was four years old my father was always sexually assaulting me. I remember almost every day my father fucked me making me his slave." Fei opened his dark story wryly.

Fei then sighed for a moment before continuing his story. "If I don't want to serve him, you'll whip me and lock me in the bathroom all day. Or if he couldn't do 'that' to me then he would have told me to swallow all the white tadpoles he had stored in a bottle in exchange for I couldn't serve him."

Fei smiled then glanced at Yifan while saying something like this. "You know Yifan many people say that the taste of white tadpoles is very good but to me it is very bad that white tadpoles have a mucus taste that smells fishy when swallowed. I don't know why people can say it feels so good when they swallow it." Fei looked so innocent when he said such a horrible thing.

Fei then raised his shorts slightly and showed his thigh full of incision scars. "He even liked violence when he did 'that' to me. Sometimes he would slit my thighs and then lick my blood. Dad said if he did that

it will be much better than just doing it as usual.

"Why did your father do that to you...." Yifan was visibly pityed as Fei recounted the atrocities his father had committed.

"I've always been traumatized and I've finally gotten used to inhaling gasoline to allay my fears. Since I was a child I've been doing it as a form of escape my fear."

"So that's why you keep gasoline in your room."

Fei raised his eyebrows and then said like this. "Then you've got the answer to why I keep gasoline in my room."

Yifan sighed then she hugged Fei for a bit then let go of her embrace quickly. Yifan just wanted to give a warm hug to calm Fei who had just reopened the old wound through the story.

"Please don't think strangely about this hug" said Yifan felt bad.

Fei grinned then replied like this. "I don't care about that hug. There are men who have done more to me."

Yifan blushed hearing that. "You__you thought I was gay like your father was no more exactly that jerk. Fei needs to make it clear that I'm normal, please don't even once think I'm gay."

Seeing Yifan's reaction that looks excessive or rather wrong behavior makes Fei feel awkward. Who says Yifan is gay. It seems Yifan has misrespected.

"Hey__hey, why are you? Your reaction was so exaggerated that I never considered you gay." Fei felt bad.

Yifan was immediately embarrassed to realize that her reaction was too excessive and had made Fei feel uncomfortable. As soon as possible Yifan tried to return to normalcy and tried to cover up her previous embarrassment.

Yifan cleared his throat then he said like this. "Then let it all happen. I'm not gonna tell you to forget all those bad memories I'm just gonna tell you to take them with a big chest. Not that I had any intention of dropping your pride but by accepting all those bad memories I meant that you could live in peace."

Fei was silent for a moment but he immediately refuted. "Can I do it?" Fei looked very doubtful.

Yifan smile. "I'm sure you can. Then can you promise me you can accept all this? From now on I will continue to take care of you and will never let you get hurt again like this."

Yifan then showed her little finger to Fei. "Promise."

Fei smiled then linked his little finger to Yifan. "Promise."

After the two of them said each other their promises went silent for a moment until Fei finally asked a random question to Yifan.

"What kind of place is heaven really?"

"Heaven is a beautiful place."

"If hell?"

"Maybe a very terrible place."

"Where do you really live? Do you live in heaven or hell...." Fei looked curious about Yifan's residence.

Yifan. "I don't live in either place. I live in a place specially created by God.The place I live in is very remote. Just a dark world where the night never ends."

"You must escape into the human world." Fei smiled mockingly.

"Not really. To be honest I really like the place but considering I have a new assignment here so I was forced to leave it." Yifan said.

"Oh so." Fei then yawned his drowsiness had come and began to rule over him.

"Is there anything you want to ask me again?" Yifan made sure of Fei because the teenage boy was currently suffering from drowsiness.

"I don't have any questions let alone you for now but.I want to tell you this" Fei said as she endured her drowsiness.

"Quick say. You're even like a half-conscious person right now" Yifan said, looking at Fei who was trying to endure his drowsiness.

Fei then looked at Yifan. "Ifan I didn't know you were actually good or evil but I was pretty sure that you were the first one to lead me in this world."

After saying that Fei was sound asleep drowsiness had struck out completely on the teenage boy. Making sure Fei was sound asleep Yifan then left the teenager alone in his room.

Yifan then went to Fei's painting room. There he continued to quietly pay attention to the two paintings that had attracted his attention from the beginning.

The painting has two. The first painting is a painting of two angels with two wings of different colors and the second painting is a painting of a small child holding a fresh red apple.

Yifan continued to quietly observe the two paintings until she finally dissolved in her own mind.

ווו×ו×ו

**The devil danced in joy when men fell in sin.

The holy apple has been stained and is now a forbidden fruit.

A pigeon has lost the crow of his best friend and now the dove has fallen into sin.

God punishes a sinner but thanks to His love the sinner is saved from his sins**.