Husband is Not My Choice

Eps. 2

In the past, after being heartbroken because my love left one hand, I thought I would no longer be able to fall in love easily. The pain made me have to spend the gloomy days. Living the day with the heaviest inner burden of my life.

If I could choose, I would choose to love Dimas for the rest of my age. If I could hope, I would have hoped to marry Dimas even though he was married. Isn't it okay for a man to have more than one wife? Then I just have to wait for the miracle to come to me.

Turns out I was wrong. Having hope is not easy. When I expressed my hope to my friends, they mocked me. They laughed at my stupidity. They cursed me. They said, "Like no other man but Dimas. Outside of many single men. You just need to improve your appearance. Get dressed, then go out. Maybe you'll find your partner. Don't be like this. You don't want to be an actor, do you?"

And I always say, "Of course I'm not an actor. I will never ruin her happiness. I just want to be a household complement. Wanted to complete what his first wife could not give him. Isn't that better? I'm willing to be a second wife. If the actor, maybe I wouldn't be willing to be a second wife. I will definitely shift the position of the first wife. That's if I'm an actor. Actually not, right? I just want to be a complement."

And they could only take a long breath. "Yes already. You may be driven mad by love. To close your ears to the one who advises you right."

And in the end as time passed, I was not able to get up and forget the love clapping my hands. But I tried to be able to find someone else to fill the emptiness of my heart. To make someone other than Dimas my life companion.

It's just that my ideal partner's criteria are high. At least although not the same, my partner should approach Dimas. Good thinking, behavior, and education. To the face, I don't blame her much. However, if I love all three of my standards, I will love his face.

People say I'm too picky. Too much choice in finding a partner. Until I was 27, I had not found my partner. But does not in terms of choosing a partner really have to be picky? Isn't there anyone who wants to be wrong when it comes to choosing a partner? Is there anyone who wants their household to fall apart just because there is no match for each other? So, it doesn't make sense if they advise me not to pick a partner too much.

"Well, don't shut up. Let's ask around. Don't just answer questions from me. You too, Im. The active dong both of you," Sarasvati's mother told me.

One month ago, Sarasvati's mother prepared a blind date for me. He wanted to introduce one of his students to me. I don't know why, the intention was once to match us.

The person he wanted to introduce was a final-level student. He is highly accomplished and active in campus organization activities. Name's Baim. The person is handsome, the skin is flat, and the face is shady.

I'm just smiling. Every now and then I steal a glance at the man in front of me.

"Mas Baim, why would you want to be acquainted?" I started a conversation with him. I think with the status of an outstanding student he bears, he will have no trouble getting a partner. Of course because I imagined how many girls there were lining up for him.

Baim smiled faintly. Then he replied, "I want to establish a fraternal bond with many people."

I nodded at that answer. Although I know the implied meaning in that short answer. Baim is not interested in me.

I'm self-conscious. My panampangan is like this. Irregular. My skin is dull, dark, and unkempt. I am old too. Three years older than Baim. While Baim is a man with a pleasing appearance.

"If the criteria of his dream wife Mas Baim? Ah, of course I asked because I wanted to know more about you. Let's talk like we're old friends" I said. Somehow, a nervousness started attacking me.

"I don't have any specific criteria for my dream wife. But you need to know, before I was engaged and failed to get married. At least to be my wife, someone has to want to be with me" she replied. His face was implying sadness.

Yep. It looks like the wound is deeper than the wound I had. It's only fair that when Ms. Sarasvati gave me my social media account to peek at her profile, she didn't respond. The possibility of responding is there, but not interested in me.

I don't have an attractive face and a sexy body. You could say, I'm not as attractive as a woman. With my limitations, I believe that I have a brain and spirit that is incomparable to the beautiful women out there. At least I have that precious thing.

"If it were you, why would you come to this introduction?" ask Baim.

I was a little surprised by the question. I think he knows my reason for guessing. But apparently, he wanted me to answer honestly.

"My life is 27 years. In my village, women with that age and still single will be said to be spinsters. I came here because of my intention to find a soul mate," I replied honestly. I actually feel like I'm demeaning myself.

"Hahaha, your conversation is deepening. Then, I'd like to leave the two of you here for a while. I'd like to call my fellow lecturers first, yes. Please continue with the chat. I'll be back" said Sarasvati's mother, rushing away from us.

We smile to take the departure of Sarasvati's mother.

"You should know something. What was your name? Enggar?" tanyanya while frowning next to her eyebrows. I nodded.

Baim began to show his other side. I've been prepared for that. But my body can't lie that I'm a little nervous. Kuraih a purple wine and I tasted it to reduce my nervousness.

"I came here out of respect for Sarasvati's mother. There is no intention of more than that. So, you better not expect too much" Baim said.

"I understand. I came for the same reason. Besides, I'm sure that you're not interested in me at all" I replied.

The atmosphere is getting tense. It was as if we were sitting facing each other as enemies.

"Have you never been in a relationship?" askinya.

"Since I've been heartbroken because of my love for one hand, I've never opened my heart to any man. Even though I look like this, I have high standards. I'm not a woman who likes to waste time on unimportant things" I replied.

"Do you think that dating is not important?" ask Baim.

"What does Mas Baim think about courtship that one hundred percent get married?" askaku. All I ask is silence. "I'm sorry if it offends you, Mom. Not that I meant to offend. But that's the principle I'm following right now. I will put myself in my position. If someone says that I am his friend, then I will act as his friend. If someone says that I am his future wife, then I will act as his fiancee. My life flows like water. And that's me."

Baim began to understand my words. He nodded in understanding. I took a deep breath.

A moment later, his laughter broke.

"We chatted too deeply until it became tense like this, yes," Baim said in the middle of his laughter.

"Yes, too, yeah. Haha. Looks like I got carried away, mas."

"Do you respect Sarasvati's mother?"

"Yes, I respect him. That's why I can't refuse this meeting" I replied. The atmosphere began to melt.

"I am too. I respect him a lot. I was planning to foil this meeting. But I recounted because I thought Sarasvati's mother wouldn't introduce me to anyone carelessly. He must have assessed carefully until he had to hold this meeting" he said.

I nodded, lamenting Baim's words.

"I thought at first that you weren't like this. After knowing a little about you, would you make a deal with me, Eng?"

"What's that?"

"How about we continue this introduction?"

"meaning?"

"By Sarasvati's mother, be my future wife!"

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