Husband is Not My Choice

Eps. 1

It's late at night. A little baby fell asleep next to me. The baby I gave birth to thanks to my marriage to my husband. Mas Baim's.

"Son, if you grow up, mama wants you to be a big guy. Like the man my mother used to admire. Even now, my mom still adores him. He's an educated man, a character, and all his traits mama likes. Grow up like him. Someday, my mom will introduce you to him. The person you admire, his name is the same as yours, "my lips while stroking my baby boy's forehead.

My baby is the result of my relationship with my husband. Marriage is legal in the eyes of the state and religion.

We had our wedding ceremony properly. Inviting relatives, friends, co-workers, and everyone we know. Our wedding went well. Happinessful. They greet us, give us gifts, and pray for our happiness. We receive their gifts, receive their prayers with a smile. And in their eyes, we are happy. They didn't see the sadness on both of our faces.

I remembered. When my baby was born, Mas Baim said to me, "I know that you still can't forget your ex-lover. Since the baby born is a boy, I give you authority. Give him a good name, so that he may grow as you wish."

At that time I agreed. We made a deal both of us. As a means of comforting ourselves because our marriage took place not on the basis of love. We get married because we respect the judgment of someone who has contributed to us. He judged, then introduced us. We can't refuse it. To be more precise, we did not have the courage to refuse him.

I'm not the only one with a sad history of love. Baim is like that too. He was in a five-year relationship with his girlfriend. He even had an engagement and planned to get married. But her lover decided it unilaterally. I don't know what the reason is, Mas Baim did not tell me. I myself heard that story from the person who introduced us.

"Not slept?"

That soft voice made me look towards the door. Mas Baim just got home from work.

"No, Mas. Dimas had just woken up from his sleep. I suckled at him," I said as I headed to welcome Mas Baim's return.

Mas Baim took off his jacket and hung it behind the door. He looks tired.

I approached Mas Baim. Grabbing his face, looking at the depth of his eyes, sweeping his tired face. Then tiptoe, kiss her lips.

"Thank you, Mom. Has gone to great lengths to earn a living for us," I said as I hugged Mas Baim's body.

Mas Baim returned my kisses and hugs. He sighed. He took it gently, and he said, "I want to take a bath first. You don't have to accompany me to dinner. You just accompany Dimas. He needs you more."

I comply. Mas Baim took off his work shirt. I helped her hang behind the door. Mas Baim rushed out of the room.

He's my husband. Father of my son. Even though our households stand not based on love, but we try to complement each other. I need a husband, Mas Baim needs a wife. Apparently, we were destined to be together.

☆☆☆

The wall clock shows at nine in the morning. Even though I have a baby, I have done all the housework. This is thanks to Mas Baim who wants to work together. We took turns doing household chores. Especially on holidays like this.

"I'm done, Mom. Didn't you come out today?" askaku while sitting next to Mas Baim who was babysitting Dimas. Dimas looks happy to be able to chat with his father. Little laugh.

"Today I decided to make time for my family. Why, you mind?" tanyanya while cradling Dimas nimang with anxiety.

I'm laughing a little. "Of course I'm happy. There are rarely opportunities like this. Aging on your day off," I replied.

Mas Baim scrunched his forehead. As if I disagree with my statement.

"We are married. You don't have to be jealous of my friends, with my activities outside the house. When I get out of the house, it's when I work. I work for you guys, right. So there's no need to be jealous, "he said.

Yeah, correct. He did carry out his duties as a husband. I don't have to jealousy him. Anyway, I have it. Though he can only have his body, not his heart.

I'm not denying either. That the relationship between Mas Baim and his friends is important also for the life of Mas Baim. Whether it's for his career life, or for a life that has nothing to do with work.

As a wife, I have to believe it. For the sake of our household. The house I hoped would last forever even though we didn't love each other. But we have the same commitment. To raise and educate children until adulthood.

"Actually if you want to go out today, I'll allow it. Maybe you miss and want to hang out with your friends" said Mas Baim.

"Gathering, yeah. Em, that seems like a very difficult thing. It could be, as long as it is planned in advance. After all, my friends share the same understanding. After marriage, they will devote themselves entirely to their families" I said.

Mas Baim nodded. He already knew that principle. Because I told you about it at the beginning of our meeting.

"Wouldn't lean on my shoulder? I'm trying to be on my back" he said, offering his shoulder.

I smile. I moved my seat closer to her. Then I leaned my head on his sturdy shoulder.

The morning wind blew on our faces. Sometimes as fragrant as a flower of foyer roses burst into our noses. Sometimes, I want moments like this to last. One other thing my wish is, I want Mas Baim to love me.

"I don't know what will happen in the future" said Mas Baim.

I looked up, glanced at Mas Baim. "meaning?" my many.

"Come," he said.

Dimas was already asleep in the lap of Mas Baim, after tired of chatting with his father. Face's calm. A reassuring face.

I extended my hand to move Dimas to my lap. Mas Baim carefully lifted Dimas up and placed it on my lap. Mas Baim rubbed Dimas' head. Then grabbed me, took me in his arms. It feels so comfortable.

"If anyone passes by, they'll be mistaken, Mas. They'll think you love me so much" I said.

Baim laughed, "Aren't they going to be happy if I love you?"

"It could be what people expect if they know about us. Unfortunately they don't know, yes," I said.

Mas Baim patted my shoulder gently. He tightened his embrace.

"Let them assume that. That origin makes them not worry about our circumstances. Everyone wants a harmonious family, right? By the way, why did you give the name 'Dimas' to our son? What's that dimas like?" ask Mas Baim.

"He was a man who loved his family very much. The one who made 'Father' his example" I replied with a smile. The shadow of Dimas came to my mind. The one I've been mumbling for a long time. Dimas Khan's.

☆☆☆connects☆☆☆