Heart Shackles

Dew Dew Malfunction

Bandung, June 2016

I don't feel like time is rolling so fast. Dew has now completed its blue-white period. It was time to turn into white gray. On this day, he will carry out his graduation graduation.

This morning the Dew was tidy with his toga clothes. With a radiant look he went down the stairs. Arriving at the last step of the stairs, she saw her mother sitting on the living room sofa with a fashion magazine in hand. Instantly the Dew became nervous. His foothold on the earth grew even stronger, not daring to step forward.

However, his determination was already unanimous, he wanted his father and mother to come at his graduation event. With doubtful steps he walked towards the Mother.

"B–bunda," he called her down. The dew got more nervous when Gayatri just looked at him flat.

"H–today .. event .. k–graduation, adek. B–bunda, can d–dat–"

"No!" gayatri Sentak. "I was busy" he continued, leaving behind a Dew that held back tears.

Indeed all this is wrong Dew, always hoping that the treatment of his mother will change as before. If it's like this, then it's the same that he hurt his own feelings. Her mother has repeatedly shown her indifference. However, stubbornly he continued to hope that the nature of his bunda would return. So, when he cries, the one to blame is himself. Expecting too much of something uncertain.

Rubbing his tears violently, the Dew walked out of the house. Trouble won't come on his graduation he doesn't care anymore. His heart was quite sick with his mother's rejection.

"Sneng Dewun, why, early in the morning already crying?" ask Mr. Badrun, the gardener of his house.

"Without papa, sir, just a glint earlier," replied Dew followed by a sweet smile.

Mr. Badrun who was mowing the grass turned his eyes to the body of the Dewun. "Gee ... Neng Dewun is about to graduate. It's big, yeah, now. So remember the first time I worked here was very small," he said.

Hearing Mr. Badrun's words, Dew was slightly comforted, he smiled then said, "yes, dong, sir. That time 'was Dewun still first grade SD."

Both laughed amusedly. "Yes, Mr. Badrun, the Dew left first, yes, afraid late. Mr. Badrun his work spirit!" pamit Dewun's.

"Yes, Neng, be careful. Congratulations on graduating, yes!"

...o0o...

I don't know today Dew must be sad or happy. He was declared the most accomplished student in his class. But in addition, he felt sad because his parents did not come to just give congratulations. Only Bu Sari, his homeroom teacher congratulated him, but he chose to keep quiet.

In the corner of the Hall where the graduation was held, Dewun sat alone there. Choose a seat in the back corner. Do not want to stand out too much, because he knows for sure there will be many people who gossip about it.

The show's done. Everyone began to leave the hall. Likewise with Dew, he came out through the back door of the hall and then covered the toilet. For a while he wanted to lock himself in the toilet while waiting for a quiet school.

For whatever reason Dewun has not or will never be ready when meeting with the public. Dew is quite traumatized he will be bullied openly in public like last tempo. The incident occurred one month after the departure of the clouds.

As the school was deserted, Dew came out of his hiding place. He walked quietly while carrying the award trophy. A faint smile was etched on his lips. He imagined, surely his mother would be proud because he managed to win the smartest student champion of his class.

But his calmness turned to nervousness as Bara's entourage approached him with a haughty face.

"Our voice why is it still here? It was also not a celebration like the first time to win the race. It's a pity, you know, the cup is not shown to people," said Bara with a sour face. But Dewun knew, Bara would only mock him.

"So, he's Bar, showing him in public, killer. If the killer's where ...?"

"P-e-n-j-a-r-a!" sahut Bara's group of five people.

It feels like we want to cry right now. Truly surrounded by five teenage boys with inappropriate words thrown at him deeply pierced his heart.

"Remember, Dew. Lo's place isn't here." Bara bowed her body, staring right at the black Dew bead.

"Gue doesn't like to keep Lo alive as usual, as if you never make the slightest mistake. You know, how to make up for your sins is only one–"

Bara held the chin of the Dew, brought her face closer to the ear of the girl, then whispered.

"–mati."

Bara used to be one of his close friends besides Zelline— without anyone's knowledge. Dew has also once put a taste on Bara. But that was before Bara turned around to hate him.

The clouds and clouds are also close. Their closeness is like a brother and sister who get along. They often play together, whether it's just playing PlayStation or basketball. Not infrequently Bara also stay at his house first, because they are still a complex. However, ever since the rumors were sticking out, Bara turned hostile. Dewun does not blame at all, after all he is the most to blame.

"Pull, guys!" bara's orders then walked away followed by his entourage. Leaving behind a Dew that was still crying tears. It hurts enough when the person closest to him utters an inappropriate word let alone telling him to die.

...o0o...

Dew opened a sturdy fence that fortified his house sluggishly. Bara's words were enough to make his feelings gloomy. Entering the courtyard of the house, he saw Mr. Badrun bathing his favorite canary.

Dew Eyes circulate looking at the garage that looks one car there—milik mothernya. It means that the Mother is at home. A chance to show his trophy. His originally gloomy face slowly began to radiate back. He also accelerated his steps.

"Good day, Mr. Badrun!" greet Dew cheerfully.

"Eh ... " Badrun turned his body back to the Dew. " ... Good day, Neng! I think who, ngagetin aja," he said.

"Hehe, Mother's home, isn't she, sir?"

"Yes, ada. Just came home, ", replied Mr. Badrun.

"Yes, the Dew came in first, yes, sir." As the Dew walked, he turned around again. "Sir, the Jubaedah is flying, huh?" said innocently.

Mr. Badrun who had originally looked at Dewont turned his gaze to his birdcage. Right, Si Jubaidah—the female canary, has flown free.

Dew giggled amusedly looking at Mr. Badrun who was crying over the departure of his favorite canary bird that had been cared for for five years. Mr. Badrun said, Si Jubaedah already he considers like his own child. Therefore, he was very sad Jubaidah left him.

If outside earlier Dew can laugh freely, but when entering the magnificent house nervous air enveloped him. He walked slowly while adjusting his roaring breath. His body became more heavy when he saw his Mother coming down the stairs that were not far from him. This time it's like someone caught committing a crime.

Gayatri glanced at her youngest daughter and then walked away. In his heart he also did not want to hurt Dewun, but I don't know his heart and brain are always not in line. His heart asked for peace, but his logic said otherwise. Stupidly he followed his logic rather than his heart.

Sitting by the pool behind the house accompanied by a cup of tea is indeed so epic. Moreover, the cold air has always greeted since he was here. Gayatri closed her eyes. Collects the air in his lungs and then exhales slowly. It's so soothing. The burden that bound his body seemed to disappear along with his breath.

"B–bunda ...."

Gayatri turned her head, seeing her youngest child standing not far from her with his head down. He raised his eyebrows when the boy looked up.

"Quick talk, I don't like to mince words!" gayatri Sentak. In his heart he cursed his words. For whatever sake his heart and actions always contradict.

Dew that heard the high tone of his mother then wave. "Someone wants to show Mother." His hand took off his bag and then took out a trophy and a certificate of champion from there.

"Adik was named the most accomplished student in school, Mother," said Dewun trying to cheer up. She hoped her mother would pull her into the warm embrace she so desperately missed. However, his face was instantly gloomy when he heard his mother's hurtful words.

"I don't care." The Gayatri just passed from there leaving the Dew that was again holding back its cries.

"Engga papa, Dew. Maybe Mommy is tired, so Mommy chose to leave. I'm sure it will give you congratulations later," said Dewun trying hard. His lips carved a smile but were inversely proportional to his eyes that continued to pour clear liquid.

"T–but ... this s–sick." Dew pounding his chest hoping his tightness will disappear. His defenses were shattered, his body slumped down and cried as he pleased.

Gayatri rubbed her tears. Yes, he heard all his daughter's words. "Sorry, mother" he whispered.

...o0o...

...Yes, my expedition is that high. Always hope in the uncertain or something that is clearly not going to be reciprocated. Thenwhat? I must go back to swallowing my hope and must drain the crying back. ...

...But am I wrong? I am also an ordinary human being who still hopes with pseudo wishful thinking. ...

...~Embun Mentari's...