Heart And Love's

my love story

I'm a woman. I haven't had a love story with anyone for a long time because I think that if I fall in love I should be ready for heartbreak. After 4 years I chose myself because I don't think I'm ready for heartache. And I thought I would obey the rules of my religion that do not justify courtship. I was close to a lot of guys but I always thought they were friends. None of them I want to fall in love with. And I think it's becoming more comfortable. I don't have a boyfriend, but I do have a lot of friends. But as long as I'm close to my boyfriend, it's just a normal friend. There is no routine chat every day.

I am not a woman who easily falls in love, who does not easily drop a heart to men. I have a hard time feeling the scark in men. I never felt lonely not having a boyfriend because I had parents and family who loved me very much, my friends and very good friends.

This time I will tell my story that maybe this time is actually very short but gives pain in the heart.

I decided to quit my old office. At that time, my friend offered to put my job application into his office because his friend's lover would resign and already got a new job.

I ended up working in my friend's office. On my first day of work, I met the people who were there. But there was a man who went to my desk because he also talked about work with my friend (who I would change his position). Then I met the man. From the beginning I felt something was different about that guy. When I went home I told my mother about the man with pleasure and actually I told him something unimportant. Day after day I work in my new office. Day after day she and I talked about something that was not important other than work. Until at last while I was on my way home I saw my phone and there was an email coming in from it. The email talks about work. Before long I opened and read the email, entered a chat from him who talked about the email. And it was Friday, and then I replied as necessary and he said happy holiday. At first I didn't respond too much to her chat and didn't want to get too close to her because I knew she already had a boyfriend. I'm a woman who has a principle that will never interfere with other people's relationships. Because I always thought what if I had my lover and lover being held up and approached by another woman I would be upset.

The more our days got closer and he used to play at my desk just to say hello, joke and talk about unimportant things. Two months after I worked in that office he started greeting me often through chat. I was still acting normally and replying as necessary. Until in the end we often chat until night but when he replied and I was asleep I did not reply again chat in the morning. Because I think we'll meet at the office so why reply to the chat again. At first it was not too routine that we chat together. But long ago I realized why every weekend he must chat me. Instantly I was thinking if he would still want to contact me because during the weekend we will not meet so we can not tell the story that is not important. For that he chatted me because he wanted to know how I was doing that weekend. A lot of chat from him that is not important and I still answer with ordinary. Here I still feel ordinary with him because I still think he already has a lover. But I always reply to the chat he sent me. We are getting closer even he has not called me again with the name “mbak”. There's a special mention to me from him and everyone in the office knows it.

One day we were joking, talking like we could laugh together, but he had to go to his upper room because there was work. When I got home from work I came home and he was still in his boss' room. On the way home. There's a chat from him “severe, I was left behind”. Why at that time I was so happy to have a chat like that from him. Then I replied to her chat, until late at night we chat and at that time she said it was there sleeping already night, we continued tomorrow again but the next day I did not reply again. He chatted me again and actually every conversation we had in the chat didn't matter. The more days our chat is getting routine and becoming every day. Ketia I don't reply to her chat she always calls me repeatedly. For that I always reply to his chat even though the next day me and he met at the office. The more our day gets closer. And even in the office we get closer and our attitude may be according to others like people who are dating. He often invited me to pray in the congregation he said he wanted to be my priest at my prayers.

One day he had to take a business trip out of town from the office. Before he went out of town, we walked together. At first he asked to take me for something, but he picked me up I said yes we went straight to that place. He said I didn't bring property for it, missed it. Then I scolded him for our purpose, was that how could his property be left behind? He just laughed and he said we're going for a walk. We walked, ate, talked all the way. After that I went home and was escorted by him, after leaving he chatted me too and repeatedly said thanks because it was anther him. Repeatedly also apologized for feeling during the trip he told a lot of stories. The next day he had to go out of town and on a morning departure plane. He asked me to wake him so that it wouldn't be too late. And I woke him up. I'm not here to tell you too much detail. But we kept chatting. And when he was out of town he called me uterus. We call frequently in the morning and at night. And he was very very diligent in my chat, kept calling me in the chat when I replied long ago. The office is getting closer and I think his treatment is getting more unusual for me. I never told anyone in the office about our routine in chat, our closeness. He always reported what he did to me. Until at the end when we chat I reply with the intention of joking that says “awas later you baper the same I”. And he said “iya I don't baper with you, afraid use bgtzzz”. There I was happy and I tried to divert the conversation because again I remembered she already had a lover.

After that chat she got closer to me in the office. Increasingly indifferent to the views of others about us. Until finally my close friend asked me “you have an unusual relationship ya”. I laughed and replied “ngga, he is so fun to all girls”. My friend smiled. But that day my friend chatted and asked “you really ga what is it? Because I see that you guys are different. Especially from his guy seems he is very comfortable and rich people love to kamu”. I finally told my friend that and I told my friend that I was playing in this situation because I was evil. I'm bad because she already has a boyfriend. I'm like his girlfriend. My friend said you better talk about both.

Me and him continue to drag on in our closeness in the real world and chat. In the office, he often chatted me, even though he was at his desk and I was at my desk. And when he had a job in his boss' room he told me he couldn't get to my desk because he had a lot of work. At that time I had discussed his girlfriend and at first he used to be angry for a long time. He didn't reply to my chat anymore and didn't look for me anymore. In the office he silenced me. The next day I saw him “you were angry with me? Angry because of our last chat (my chat that discusses his girlfriend)?. He said no. He's angry but could be anyone. Yeah, I told you okay maybe I'm the one who feels too much.

Three days we didn't chat and in the office he kept me quiet. The next day he passed my desk and held my head. I'm just smiling. After that he came up to me again to my table but I was acting ordinary and cold. I told my friend that I didn't want to be close anymore to him just want to be ordinary if I could stay away slowly because I didn't want to disturb the relationship with his girlfriend. The next day he approached me again at my table. I laughed at him normally. He was with his snob as usual. But there I no longer expected to be close to him. But the next night he chatted me again. Instantly my intention moved on was shattered. But I reply normally. Weekend he also chat me but at that time he did not read my chat until tomorrow morning. Then I asked him why my chat in read aja ngga. He said he was sick, not feeling well. Then I said yes was rested, km came home malem continued to be sick. When she was sick she wasn't so quick to reply to my chat and I told her. The next day he did not enter the office because he said he was not strong. But we kept chatting. The next day he entered the office but came in the afternoon. He came up to my desk and I asked you what pain? He said he was dizzy, hot, etc. I can't bear to see he's sick, I pay attention to him, I take care of him in the office when he's sick. At that time I felt move on I was destroyed as a ruin. I couldn't bear to see him sick either. After she got sick I felt our relationship was getting closer and more and more unusual.

He never had breakfast in the morning. When she was sick she gave me breakfast. I buy him breakfast, I get him a plate to eat, I drink him. The more our day gets closer. It doesn't feel like we're almost 3 months away.3 months but it feels like 3 years. He's one of those guys who looks wise and serious. But when he was with me he was not like that. He became a super spoiled, humorous person, not at all jaim to me.

The more days I get confused with our closeness. One by one my close friends I told you about our calm. I need advice from them about this mistake. But I never asked him what exactly are we?.

I forget, he also often said he was jealous that I was with my boyfriend.

The more days I get upset with our closeness and I feel like he's getting back at my chat. But when I chatted him for a long time, he always said a long time, don't be busy busy. But I feel something is different lately with the chat he replied a long time and I was lazy to reply quickly. Until one day he chatted me and I was embalming tomorrow morning and he didn't ask me where I was at all. He always asks, Where are you going? But not this time. I keep praying to God please give me and him a hint. Until then I did not reply to his chat and I arrived at the office he did not ask at all. That Monday, I overheard a conversation he had with a friend of mine who said he was going on leave and was going home with his grandmother. I immediately asked him he was in front of my friend “km home want a proposal?”. Out loud she said “ngga”. I said “iya you want a proposal”. He still says “ngga”. I was silent and bete with him. But he kept coming close to me and trying not to make me angry. That day I did a lot of work and hugged me overtime. He is too. But I went home first. While at home I remember that my hp charger missed. I chatted him who said please save my hp chargean. But he said he was near the boarding house, sorry. I said yaudah gapapa, thank you. He answered yes briefly. It was there that I felt more and more that he was moving away from me and I started to explain it all. The next morning it was true he did not chat me and I felt yes it was already possible this was the answer of my prayer which showed me and he had to stop. I'm sincere. Even though he no longer chatted me but in the office he still behaved normally. Not too bad for me. Because I think I would be normal in our office still joking but we no longer chat every day yes even though what we talk about is not important. Until I got home he didn't chat me either.

I feel happy because maybe he has realized that he has a girlfriend so we should not be close and chat routine. But when night fell there was a notification of my phone and it turned out to be true that he contacted me again. He chatted up to five times because I didn't reply in 10 minutes. When it moved on I was destroyed again instantly. I'm so glad he came again. I was so happy at that time. We finally chatted as usual. The next day he chatted me in the morning and wanted to buy me breakfast but when I asked him he did not reply. When I got to the office I saw there was a miscall danya in both my hp. I said you were late. Hehe. And in the office he behaved like when we were close, invited to pray together and others. When I want to go home she comes to my table whispering tomorrow I leave breakfast, I asked. Want what? He said yaudah I'll just chat you up. I came home with a very happy heart because he was acting that way again to me. At home, until 10pm I waited for a chat from him. Until I finally asked my friend who had a theme with him, what time did he come home? Maghrib. Instantly I was disappointed, I guess he didn't chat me because he was still in the office but he didn't. He didn't keep his promise to me to chat me. I feel angry and disappointed. And at that time I felt I was stupid waiting for a chat from him. Keeseokan day until I leave for the office he does not chat me too but I still buy breakfast for him. At the office there was a chat from him. But I'm already angry with him. I cuekin him, diemin him and he persuaded me continue. I was angry and disappointed with the attitude of him who did not keep his promise. I don't know why I'm upset and disappointed. He spoiled her asking me to feed her and she said she would feed me. I remained silent and angry with him. He ate at my table but I cuekin him. Many times he asked me why.

After she finished eating, she went to her desk and chatted me while asking you why? Ngambek huh? Why why? I'm just answering no question, gapapa. Even until the afternoon he still asked me why I was sulking and different from the usual day. I stayed calm and quiet. The next day he'll be on leave to come home. I don't know why my hunch says he's going to propose. I'm trying to figure it out from her boyfriend's social media. As long as he comes home and when I'm mad at him, he doesn't talk to me at all. On Saturday I opened the social media of her lover, daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn I found their picture with their family. He was actually applying with his girlfriend. When I was disappointed, I was sad. The next day I chatted him by sending him a picture without saying a word. He was there still calling me by name as usual. I didn't reply to the chat.

Once in the office many congratulated him. I'm silent. I thought I wouldn't congratulate him. After he proposed his attitude changed completely. He didn't say hello to me. It's not just me. But all my friends. All the young women in the office. He acted as if he didn't know me at all. He really didn't say hello to anyone.

I was also quiet, acting normal and one of my friends told me when he got married. Honestly, I am very sad. After a few days I thought I should ask him. I finally chatted with him in very long words. Nope. I'm not denouncing him. I asked him carefully what he meant to me. Why when I asked him he wanted to propose he said no. Why does he chat me every day and so on. But he didn't answer all those questions. I told Adia that I was baper with this situation. I've been honest with everyone. But why didn't he admit it?

The thing I still can't accept is that he didn't give me a word or two. If only when I asked him he wanted a proposal yes and he said yes, doain ya. It became more relieved for me. But this isn't. If only he had said goodbye he would have gone bad, maybe it hurt but I think it's much more relieved.

Do you think those of you reading this whole thing are my fault? I admit I was wrong. But is he not wrong either? Am I natural that I feel hurt by her attitude? What am I supposed to do? Of course pray and be sincere. What's the other treatment? Is he just playing me?