Cocooned

SUNRISE OR SUNSET?

Silent.

"Okay, I'm going home now." Valerie tidied up the items on the table and stuffed them into her little bag.

Uh, what? Koq is like this? As the panic struck, my heart was racing to hear his reaction to my love statement just now. Without looking, Val walked past me. I didn't want him to leave, so in a half-screaming tone I asked, "Am I rejected?"

A sense of relief encompassed when my question managed to stop its pace and the umbrella that had been lifted was lying again in its original place. Although I was afraid, I had to know the answer. It doesn't matter if Val turns me down, I just don't want him to get me out of his life.

"Yes, I reject you" Valerie replied from behind her shoulder.

The dots of light appeared in my view like falling pixels. My balance would have been almost lost if I had not quickly leaned on the nearest patio pole. The sound of a chair that fell due to being pushed by my weight made Val turn his head quickly and approach..

"Terry, are you sick?" The cold slender fingers moved to my forehead and neck, and then cupped my unshaven jaw. "Anemia. Come on, I'll help you sit."

Relieved. I thought I had a heart attack because Valerie refused. Sitting under Val's gaze, I drowned my face in my hands. I didn't stop him when Val got inside the house and came back with a glass of warm water in his hand.

"You up late?" ask Val to interrogate. His voice was blown by the wind that was blowing with the rain.

"I haven't slept yet."

"Since when? Do you need sleeping pills? I can open a recipe for you."

"Since ... since you left me with the man in Mercy." I exhaled heavily before continuing, "While I only have Veloz."

"You keep joking! Seriously."

"I'm serious, Val. I'm also serious about saying I like you" I said weakly.

I lifted my head and looked at him, let this time he see all the contents of my heart and my head, that I did not lie. Maybe my consciousness will soon be extinguished, because those blinding pixel points start to multiply and disturb Val's face within sight.

"We'd better go in and talk inside. The wind is too strong, you can get sick later."

Val's just gonna stand up but I stopped him. "No—no, here only. I don't want you to listen to us talk. I'm ashamed."

Val sat back down. I can't judge the content of the look in the eye that's staring at me right now. Is it the look of pity, or the look of the eye that signifies sadness? But I want her to believe what I feel for her right now, that I'm in love. I really have to say everything about my feelings to her, at length times as wide as high as the volume formula of the heart.

"Val, you know, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have gone back to Malang. Although heavy-hearted at first, it turned out that coming home to Malang was not as bad as I imagined at the beginning. I mean, I met Jaya and Susan, and maybe I'm just as meritorious as I've betrothed them.

"In addition, I met you. Funny thing is, when you picked me up at the airport, for not knowing, I thought you were my soul mate. It's not, you're Valerie Lukman, my best friend who went from being a caterpillar, to being a beautiful butterfly because of my sister. Yeah, just blame it on Kak Tia, mumpung his person again not in Indonesia." I chuckle.

Val opened his mouth to speak, but I raised my hand to stop him. "Listen to me first, maybe I'll pass out soon." That's right, the pixel was getting brighter and shrouding, like fireworks in my vision.

"Initially, I intended to help find the mysterious man, but unknowingly, I fell in love with you myself. I am jealous of whoever that man is. At Linda's reception party, I intended to express my feelings, but you left with the man in Mercy instead. That's why I went back to Jakarta. Honestly, I didn't intend to go home anymore."

"I decided to give up, until you called me yesterday and told me that I was the mysterious man you've been waiting for all this time. I'm the one that your sister betrothed you to.

"I don't know where to complain about you, so I confided in Jaya. His words made me decide to come back here, even though I did not plan to go home, because the gini holiday season tickets are very expensive. He said, 'just ask yourself'."

I felt her hand grab my hand slowly and asked, "What do you want to ask me?"

"Wait a minute, I haven't finished the story yet, Val." I shook my head to regain consciousness, instead of making my gaze rotate. Lightly, I was worried that my head could fly away from my body.

"Val, I don't care if I'm the mysterious man you're waiting for or not. I really want to try being your lover, dan—"

And what is it? One by one the characters in my brain began to fly, it was difficult for me to compose words. "Oh, and I don't want our relationship to break down because of my current stupidity. I don't want you to take me out of your life either. That's it, Val, I'm done."

Oh, dearGod. I don't even know what I've been saying. My mouth feels out of control and my brain feels numb. It feels so tired. With my arms, I lay my head down slowly and closed my eyes.

A deep breath sounded before Val started to speak, "Terry, you already have a special person, don't you? In this way, you make me feel guilty."

"Huh?" As if someone had grabbed my hair, my head held up straight. "Who?"

"You said you were going to Linda's wedding with a girl, remember?"

"Susan what do you mean? Geez, you've been thinking I—, ah. The girl I went with yesterday was Susan, and there was nothing between Susan and me. Coincidentally, she needs a couple to party, and I'm offering myself." I don't know if Val believes my explanation or not, but the tiredness makes me fall back over my arms.

It was still raining outside, but not as hard as before. With my eyes closed, I enjoyed the gurgling sound of water falling to the ground and the whirling of the wind caressing the leaves. Val's hand in my hand was warm and soothing. Peace.

"Val ...," call me without bothering to open my eyes.

"Hm?"

"You haven't answered my WA yesterday. Do you prefer sunrise or sunset?"

Her sweet laughter painted a smile on my lips. "I love it when it rains, Ter."

"Hmmm .. I expected. Like that time, in front of the Wood Church of the Hand."

"As it stands today, Ter. With you."

I could no longer open my eyes, but I could clearly imagine Val's face when he said the last sentence. Her soft voice cradled my consciousness, ushering me in a dream with a fluffy smile.

God, thank you.