Chased Om Om 2

My restlessness

"Be the sole owner of my heart. Tiara .." he said once again. "Give me a chance to show you how I feel."

"Tiara's still in school, Om. Tiara can't promise anything the same Om," I refused as smooth as possible.

The man pulled the corner of his lips. "I don't mind waiting for you. Just ... I don't want to waste an opportunity, like my past failures."

Suddenly the man bent his knees in front of me. His soft eyes, as if demanding a positive answer. "Be my lover, give me a chance, Tiara."

I saw a small, circular object that looked shiny inside the box. My pair of legs felt weak. If I accept this statement, it means I have to bear the consequences, everyone will know about him. I can't hide it my whole life. 

Awfully, I answered him. "M–maaf. It's too sudden. I need time to think about all this."

My feeling even hurt and was so tight when I said that sentence. Like a desire to rebel, but helpless. If only our age gap wasn't too far away. If only I had been born so much earlier ....

I can see his disappointed face. Like losing hope, but soon .. a thin smile returned to decorate on her lips. 

"I will wait, whatever your decision," he said.

Shouldn't I be careless in making important decisions like this? It might even be a decision that will be the starting point of my life change. I have to curb my feelings, I don't want my feelings to ruin my whole life in the end.

I saw the man put the sparkling thing back in his pocket. He slowly approached me and gently kissed the top of my head. 

"We're home." 

***

That night I could not focus my mind on the book I was studying. The numbers on the white sheet were as meaningless. 

Even many times I cross out my pen to do calculations with the formula in it. But all the steps seemed no longer friendly to me. Once again I packed the paper into a paper ball and decorated the trash basket next to my study table. 

This lesson that I liked, even suddenly became a frightening specter for me. How do calculations that are usually easy to do, look so difficult to do.

I don't know why I feel sorry for the words I said to Om Damar. A sentence that actually denied my own feelings. Yeah, I've been lying about my own feelings.

What if he was really disappointed and walked away from me? What does he think about me? Aaah .. I'm back to shuffling my hair. 

A ringing sound rang out from the flat object beside me. A name flashes on his screen. With a feeling of laziness, I accepted his call. 

"Tiara," said the man across the street.

"Hmm ...," I said lazily.

"You're okay, aren't you?" tanyanya.

"No papa, I'm just tired." 

"I'm sorry yes, it should have been .. I drove you home. I don't know why I feel bad" Darren said. 

"Hmm .. You're busy, huh?" ask again. "Why so?"

God, what kind of stale question is this? Are there any other quality questions besides this one?

"Again the physics lesson. Why?" I'm a little bit cranky.

"Well, how come? Are you angry with me? I'm going there now, okay?" 

My eyes are rounded. "No, I'm not angry. Uda malem, do not wander, later kidnapped under wewe," I said looking for an excuse so that he did not come just like that. 

"But .. I miss you, Tiara." His voice sounded desperate. "This day, we've only met for a moment. It's my birthday. I really want to spend this day with you."

I bit my own lips. It feels so awkward to hear him who is usually always not far from me, now whining memelelelas just to spend time together. If only he hadn't told her how he felt, maybe we would have stayed as close friends as ever. 

"We meet again, right .. tomorrow, at school" I said as if it were the perfect answer. 

"Allah …. We'll see you tomorrow. See you, Tiara," he said in a flat tone, like giving up on my rejection.

I just turned off the call, heard another call ringing. Without having time to read the name on her flashing screen, I immediately dragged the green button to receive the call.  

"What else, Ren. We can talk tomorrow" I said. 

I've been too fucked with my mind. Plus, the physics that I'm retooling doesn't go into my brain. All this distraction seems to me as if I want to go away, as far away as possible.

"Tiara?"  

The man's voice sounded surprised when he heard my answer. It turns out he's not Darren. Damn, I guess Darren is still not satisfied with the answer I gave and is about to go back whining to spend this day with me, just like his usual tenacity.

"Donue …. M-sorry Om. Eeeng .. This, there is a friend Tiara again likes the calls are not clear." I gave you a reason that sounded reasonable.

"God …. I thought you were upset, because of the news." Om Marcel sounds agitated. He doesn't usually call this late, if there's nothing so important to talk about. 

"News? What news Om? What the hell is Om?" I asked him at once with many questions. 

"Gini Tiara, Om Marcel promise to re-persuade Robin to come and join the ad shoot with you. Om promise, deh," said Om Marcel who felt ambiguous to me. 

Of course this sounds ambiguous, because I don't yet understand if there's a problem with tomorrow's shoot.

"What happened to the photo shoot tomorrow? Om don't use Tiara as an Om model, do you?" ask me directly to the main point.

"Aih .. No, that's not the case. Don't get me wrong, Tiara." Marcel sounds unusual. It seems like he is hiding something and finds it difficult to say it, so that I am not disappointed.

"Gee! Marcel muters, by the way," I rebuked. "What the hell is Om?" 

"That's …. How about it, by the way."