Alinea: Ideas, Love, and Stories

WHAT DREAMS?

One day after Mas Nara left the house.

I was 12 at the time. Grade 6 Primary School. Two more months will enter SMP.

I thought Mama would cry all day because last night she just left her son. Apparently not. Early in the morning, like the clock when going to school, Mama woke me up. Opening the window of the room until I could not continue to sleep because of the morning light.

“It's not Sunday huh, Ma? Why was Alin told to get up early?”

“There are many things that Mama will tell Alin. Come shower soon, Mama wait at the dinner table soon.”

I yawned wide. Laze towards the bathroom. Mom has left the room.

“Curvy yes, Honey!” scream Mama from outside. I'm not saying. Half a night entered the bathroom.

In less than half an hour, I met Mama at the breakfast table. He had prepared green bean porridge. I scratched my head, Mama looks weird. My face is bright, her smile wide.

“Come breakfast soon, Lin. You like green bean porridge right?”

I want to shake, but I'm not. Choose to just nod. My mother has not changed. He never knew what my favorite was. He was too busy being a doctor in the hospital, also busy taking care of the values and achievements of Mas Nara.

Green bean porridge, it's Mas Nara's favorite food. I never liked green bean porridge. I love sandwiches, I've told Mama a few times. But maybe Mama doesn't remember.

Although I did not like it, I still bribed the green bean porridge that Mama had made. I promised you last night that I wouldn't make you sad. I'll make you happy, no matter what.

“Wait a minute here.” Mama moved, her face still bright. My heart was wondering what made Mama so happy. Again I remind you, this is the morning where last night Mama and Mas Nara had a big fight and Mas Nara left the house. Shouldn't my mom be that happy?

I'm still waiting for Mama at the dinner table. A bowl of green beans has gone toilet, as well as a cup of warm tea.

Mama came back, she dragged a board with wheels on her feet. The wheeled blackboard he dragged to my face. The blackboard was still covered by a long batik pattern so I was curious about what Mama would show.

Before Mama opened the long cloth, Mama looked at me, asking a strange thing, “Alin, you love Mama right?”

I'm nodding.

“Alin want Mama happy, right?”

I nodded again. I promised you last night.

“Then, Alin should do what Mama has planned. This is the best for you, son. Remember, never do things outside of our plans huh?”

I'm rattled. Mama is smiling.

Mom opened the cloth. I kept staring at him. The inscription on the top is THE FUTURE FOR ALINEA GHITA.

I saw a trace of an eraser in that part of the name. A trail I soon began to understand. The board was definitely designed for Mas Nara.

Ma, if Mas Nara hadn't left that night, would this story be any different?

***

“What do you like? I mean, is there something you like, Lin? Something that wasn't because of your mom. Something you really like, you want, like a dream. Like my dream to be famous with the Nadav Band. You, what is your dream?”

Shaka's question came up again.

“Alin? You don't understand Brother's explanation huh?”

I was shocked when Brother Jihan held my arm. Just realized that I was in the middle room with Kak Jihan, my private tutor.

I stared at Brother Jihan for a moment. The woman wearing the black headscarf looked at me in wonder with her pair of brown eyes. Jihan's sister was my private teacher since 3rd grade Junior High, replacing my old private teacher, because the previous teacher took a further lecture outside the city.

“Don't tell me you're in love again?”

“Kak majored in Mathematics education, right?”

He's nodding.

“So I really like math?” I shouldn't have to ask that. Of course Jihan likes it. If he doesn't like it, there's no way he can teach me that lesson. He also taught me chemistry, physics, and biology. Jihan's very smart indeed.

“Sure. I have loved counting lessons since childhood. That's why I took the Mathematics Education major. Because since childhood big sister really became a math teacher.” Brother Jihan's face looked excited as she conveyed. From his expression, I knew he answered honestly.

“Kak why do you want to be a math teacher? I mean, did anyone ask you to be a math teacher?”

Jihan laughed at my question. He replied, “Nobody told me, Lin. The dream came from here.” He pointed at the chest. Hearts. I'm getting confused.

“I like math. Then when SMP, I got a really cool MTK teacher. Don't know why, I became a peeper like my teacher. Abah and ambu Brother only farm workers in the village, Lin, but they are very supportive of the choice of Brother, Brother, so Brother is allowed to study in the city to be a teacher.”

I smile. I don't know why I smile, but it's not a happy story. There is a day in his story. Jihan's sis's eyes looked teary.

“You yourself, said your mother, you want to be a doctor? Is it because seeing Mama you are a cool doctor so you want to be a doctor?”

I'm silent. Then just thump. Then switch the conversation back to the subject matter. Fortunately, Jihan is not like my old private teacher, who likes to ask questions and kepo. Jihan didn't talk too much, she just answered what was asked and asked what was being discussed. If there was another question like the one I just answered and didn't answer, Jihan won't win. That's why I'm comfortable studying with Jihan.

At 5pm. Jihan's sister has left the house. Our time to study private is only two hours per day, except Sunday. No, it's not like I don't study on Sundays. It is precisely on Sunday that my private hours with Jihan's feet become longer, 5 hours. Imagine me, on Sunday I have to study with Jihan from 1 pm to 5 pm. Sometimes, I pray that Jihan's sister can't come, whether it's for college or something. I'm just praying Jihan there's an obstacle to come. Because only then am I free from those boring private lessons.

After the shower, Shaka's question still lingered in the ears. It even adds up to the question of Jihan. Then came the shadow of Miss Fitri who gave the task of making up.

“What is my dream? What do I like? What do I really want? How am I ten years to come??” I asked that to a figure who looked like me, in front of the mirror.

The face of the woman in the mirror looked gloomy. He looks just as confused as I am. Until I remembered the blackboard that Mama had shown 5 years ago. The blackboard was located in the corner of my room, covered by batik cloth. Next to the closet. I approached, opening the batik.

Plastered future great writing FOR ALINEA GHITA.

On the blackboard, there are pictures of the school building, starting from my old Junior High School building, then my current High School building, my university building later even to the hospital building that Mama hoped I would work there.

In the past, Mama had explained one by one the plan. I still remember right.

“This is Kusuma Foundation, Junior High School –, there is an elite place for children and many alumni who become doctors, soldiers, police and all kinds of fields. Successful people are born from the Foundation, you should be able to go to school there. Then this is the University with the best Faculty of Medicine in Indonesia, to be able to study here you must be the best graduate at the Kusuma Foundation. Then, you can continue to take specialists at this overseas university. After graduation, I guarantee you will be accepted to work at this hospital. You'll be a successful woman later, Alin. You'll be better than Mama.”

“And because you have definitely failed to enter Kusuma Junior High because of your poor grades during SD, Mama will register you to another Junior High School, here it is. SMP Persada's. Remember, you must enter Kusuma High School later, so your value in this Junior High School must be good, if necessary, you must always be in the position of one or at least 3 large. You understand?”

Mama's long explanation at that time is still recorded clearly in my memory.

Today I looked again at the picture of the\-picture. That future plan. I've walked far enough. I just need to survive being a class champion in this IPA class until graduation, then I will go to college like Mama's plan. Yes, I just run what was planned.

Everything is not too heavy. However, why has it been that since I had a question from Shaka, as well as a story from Kak Jihan, I started to object and find it difficult?

And I don't know what wind carried my mind flying\-layang. The conversation of Lea's gang back then resurfaced. Lea and Andin were exchanging information about his ideals. Lea wanted to be a translator, and you wanted to be an architect. They have goals. Just like Shaka who wants to become a famous musician, Jihan Kak who wants to become a teacher. Me, suddenly\ just feeling envious.

I want to have dreams too. Dream alone. Not the dream of this plan. Become doctor? I saw another picture of the hospital. My little heart began to refuse. But, what about Mama? I want to make Mama happy.

Then an answer appeared. The answer that made me breathe a sigh of relief. Smiling cheerfully. And ready to answer Shaka's questions tomorrow. I know what my dream is!