Alinea: Ideas, Love, and Stories

THE FORGOTTEN DREAM

“Alin!”

That afternoon I was surprised to find Mas Nara appearing at the school gate, he was still wearing a white uniform of gray\-gray, only his white clothes were covered by a levis jacket he was wearing. Mas Nara waved with a carefree smile from on his big motorbike.

“Mas Nara? The tumben? Which mom, Mas?”

“Mama has an operation at RS, so tell Mas to pick you up.”

I just\-oh heard Mas Nara's answer.

Our school was opposite direction, very rarely did Mas Nara pick me up, because usually Mas Nara has an additional tutoring schedule, so Mama who usually comes to pick me up.

“You want to join Mas jalan\-walk first no?”

“Where, Mas?”

“There was, surprise. But it looks like we have to go to the children's clothing store first deh.” Mas Nara is like weighing\-weighing.

That day, I forgot what day it was. It looks like Monday or Tuesday, because I'm wearing a red white uniform. A few months before Mas Nara left home, a few months also from my birthday. Mas Nara took me for a walk\-walk. First to the dress shop, she bought me a beautiful dress. I don't know where the money is. Then we spent the night at the Mall, precisely Mas Nara knew very well what time Mama would be home, so we were home before Mama got home.

Ah yes, that day Mas Nara brought his guitar. Mas Nara did almost every day bring his guitar to school even though Mama always nagged every morning so that Mas Nara did not bring the guitar. Because of that guitar, I got tired of sitting in the backseat, wearing a dress anyway.

“Mas Nara will perform on that stage?”

Mas Nara nodded. I clapped and jumped\-hike enthusiastically when Mas Nara's name was called. Mas Nara actually performed on the stage in the mall. When I looked around, many Mall visitors were watching. Mas Nara strummed his guitar, singing songs from famous singers.

Seeing Mas Nara back then, I was so proud. After showing off his prowess, Mas Nara took me to the bookstore in the Mall. I'm really happy, because after Mama and Papa divorced, I never set foot in a bookstore again.

Last time I was held by papa. I was four years old. Papa asked me to pick a fairy tale book.

That day, when I set foot in the bookstore again, I cried. Remembering Papa.

“You remember Papa huh? If you do not want to be here, we go directly to the place to eat only yuk.”

I'm shaking. I want to be there. I like the bookstore. I like to see books neatly lined up. We spent a long time in that place. Mas Nara bought me a children's novel. Novels that are still stored under my bed. Yes, all the\-novel novels I bought were under the bed, Mama mustn't know. If Mama finds out, Mama will throw it away, like Mama threw away all the dog books that Papa bought first.

“You must remember the name of the author of the book. If you grow up later, if you meet the author, you must ask for his signature and say that Mas bought the book for you yes.”

“Atma Inspiration? Who is he, Mas?”

“Writing famous. You will also know.”

“Mas, if Alin will be big, Alin wants to be a book writer too, can?”

12-year-old Alinea Ghita apparently once asked that question. I was quite surprised by this memory.

“Of course you can. Everyone is free to have any dream, Lin. You'll be a famous musician, you'll be a great writer. Isn't that cool?”

I'm nodding. That's a great future plan. How could I forget that?

*I, apparently, once aspired to be a writer. How can I forget*?

***

I lied to my mom again. Ask permission not to teach *private* on the grounds that there are group assignments that must be done in school. Luckily, my mom always believed in me. Whereas, coming home from school, I stopped by the studio where Shaka was training. This time I stopped by not because of Shaka's invitation, but my own curiosity. I want to meet Shaka.

That psychic guy, since our fight in the cafeteria, since last meeting in the library, he wasn't in class. He did not come in today either. So, I thought, he'd be in the strudios.

“Alin?” Oka looked surprised to see me behind the door. His hand spontaneously opened the door of the studio room.

“Wah there's Shaka's girlfriend! Hello, Alin!” Ipeng greets. I'm not too focused on the words. My eyes roamed the 4x4 room. Ipeng was behind the drum.

As usual, Andra still likes to be busy carrying the cable and the strings of his bass.

“You're here alone, Lin? Which shaka?” Oka asked, she sat down near me, sipping a bottle of mineral water after asking.

“Aa, you're here nyariin Shaka huh? He must not be going to school today, right?”

I'm nodding. Besides Shaka, Ipeng seems to be a psychic as well.

Oka immediately opened the phone, then she seemed to understand something.

“Oh gosh, I forgot, today is September 1st!”

Ipeng. Andra is done with the bass. He approached Oka, asking for a drink.

“What's with 1 September?”

“Commemoration of the day of his death Ashka.”

“Ashka?”

“Ka, you are talking about nanggung\-nanggung, which is obviously dong.” Ipeng approached, he punched Oka's shoulder slowly.

They don't seem to want to tell stories. I was curious, I looked at Ipeng, put on a sweet smile, asked him to tell me. Oka and Andra laughed at my behavior. I realized myself that I was doing some embarrassing behavior.

I usually just go to Mas Nara. Now I can act pretty in front of other people. Sometimes, being comfortable can make us behave ourselves. And my friends, Shaka, is the most comfortable place for me besides being with Papa and Mas Nara.

“Ashka is Shaka's\ male breast, how many years different are they?” Ipeng rolled his eyes, thinking. “Next, Shaka SD class 5 time, Ashka it is already SMA class 2. Mother Shaka's father hasn't kayaked by now. From Shaka's story, his Mother's father changed since Ashka died. Feeling guilty about it. Hence after that his father immediately entered Shaka music school and supported whatever Shaka wanted.”

I'm silent. My brain is trying to digest the meaning of the Ipeng story.

“Why does your Mother's Father regret it? Why did Ashka die?”

“Suicide. Jump from school building.” Andra replied casually. I'm gawking.

Oka and Ipeng looked at each other's lyrics. Andra with an innocent face said, “Sap or later Alin will also know right? You guys started this story at kedia.”

“Lin, don't tell Shaka that we told you this story. Shaka doesn't like this.”

“Why did Ashka kill herself?” I asked, not to comment on Oka's offer.

“Ashka it likes pictures and stupid really same academic lessons. Their father was an Army, he was pretty hard upbringing. Ashka was forbidden to draw until her academic grades were good. Yes you know what a boy is, easy to rebel. What else is fitting SMP and Ashka High School that likes to secretly\ participate in the picture competition. Even said Shaka his brother was once the champion of comic pictures\-comic that. Uh, the cup until the house was thrown out with his father. Really good stuff. Where their father wants his son to be a soldier. Contrary to that, so yes, Ashka committed suicide because she could not be the same upbringing of her parents.”

Ipeng told a long story. I gawk.

My phone rang, a call from Mama. Before I picked up the phone, I paid my respects to Ipeng, Oka, and Andra.

“Mama is already in front of the gate, you are still a long time?”

Gosh darn. How'this?

“Eh? Why didn't Mama say to pick me up? I'm on the road, Ma, take ojek.”

“You ride an ojek? How can I pick up the phone?”

“Eh, that means I took the motorcycle taxi, Ma.”

“Oh yes already, if so Mama just go back. See you at home.”

Phone's down. Thank goodness she was not suspicious.

Buru\-hustle I booked transportation online. I have to get home before Mama.

When I was in the car, my phone vibrated. There was one incoming message from a foreign number.

**Say your children\-your children to my studio nyariin, what is it**?

I smiled reading that short message. Just realized that this is Shaka's first short message. We never exchanged messages, nor chatted on social media. To be exact, I don't have any social media accounts. Don't have time. Return to school at 2, until home at 3 pm, ready\-ready for private lessons until 5 pm. Tonight's tepar.

I didn't reply right away, choosing to save Shaka's phone number first. *shak*.

Oh naw. Shaka's contact should not be so, if Mama reads later, Mama will know that Shaka and I are still friends. I deleted the contact. Thinking of the right name for Shaka's contact. I haven't had time to save Shaka's contact under a pseudonym, my phone rings again.

“You don't have a pulse to reply sms me do you not want to reply? Still the same angry guy in the cafeteria? Why go to the studio?”

I laughed at Shaka's super chatty annoyed voice down the other end.

“You can't say one\-one? You're a guy, but the chatty crap girl.”

“There are rules in this world if it belongs to a girl?”

“There's me who made.”

I heard Shaka's voice laugh for a while, then he said back, “So why go? Don't tell me I didn't go to school for a day you missed?”

“Pede.”

“I'm Shaka Nadav Gilli, not Pede.”

“Btw, how can you have my number?”

“Talk switch.”

We laughed in unison.

“I've found my dream. I know what I like. I'd like to meet you to tell me that.”

“Oh yes? Congratuations. Actually you don't need to report to me, but report to your Mama, it's important. Mama you should know.”

I'm silent. Long time. Until my phone died by itself because the battery ran out. The driver called me repeatedly because we were in front of my house.

There's a Mama's car in the yard. Finish me.