A Gift for Lala

Thirteen - Are You Out of Cry?

"La. sorry, yeah. I know I was wrong. But I hope we can be good friends. Please don't hate me, yes" Junot said softly. I immediately rubbed my wet eyes. I want to get out of Junot's sight.

Without saying anything, I got off Junot's car. I ran straight to my room. It was like I was in a nightmare. God, please wake me up. It's just a dream, right? This didn't really happen, did it?

I did soar and now fall . It feels.. sakiiiit really!!

Drt... I glanced at my phone. Trian! With tears still welling up, I read Trian's message.

"Lala's night, the novel's gone?"

I smiled with pain. Why the hell is this guy happy to appear, keep suddenly disappearing. Appear missing, like a dolphin.

"Black. I'm sad again. ("

After getting my message, Trian then invited me to chat. Actually I'm still lazy. But what's wrong with talking to Trian for a moment to take away my sadness. Maybe now Trian's the only person now around me. Yeah, even if it's just dumay. 

I spilled all my grief on Trian. About stupidity. About Junot's successful theatrics makes me a real loser.

"Tan, I'm so embarrassed. You know for yourself how I am. With this incident, I'm becoming more and more useless."

"Hey.don't talk about donk. Why is it just because your one guy looks useless. Forget all that first. If you're ashamed of the people around you because of this problem, you still have a way to prove to them that you're great and useful."

"But I'm so embarrassed, Tan. I don't think God loves me. Yesterday, there was a road that was going to be opened for me. But now you see the results..."

"Kok so think that? Maybe it's not time yet, La. Everything needs a process, it doesn't suddenly work. God doesn't love you."

"But I'm tired, Tan. Tired of being a weird girl. Frightened humiliation. Tired pressed Mama. Just tired!!"

"La, you don't seem to believe in God. Never feel tired of hoping. Don't complain about dong. The problem is actually this is because of guys, right? Because of Junot, right? Yes, I did forget it first. Now all you need to think about is developing your talent."

Trian was not finished with his words. "Regarding the novel race I support you one hundred percent. And every day I will chatt you to continue the development. Starting tonight, La. You have to write."

It's true what Trian said. But, am I capable? What does it mean that I have to face Junot, Yola, and my friends at school? It needs patience and fortitude. Forgive God...

But Trian made me believe God must have a will for me. I can't be tired of waiting. I should be thankful that I still have friends like Trian, Gigi and A'am who continue to support me.

Without changing clothes, I started to get engrossed in front of the laptop, taking out what was on my mind. I tried to concentrate on Trian's words. I should be able to!

***

I woke up to the sound of a cell phone roaring near the ears.

"Hello..."

"Lala.it's me. Oh, that's bad news. I can't go to Semarang next week. Bonyok invited me to go home because there was a family event."

I am so disappointed to hear this news. Though I had imagined that a long weekend vacation tomorrow would be a fun vacation with Gigi.

I glanced at my alarm clock, it was six in the morning. I immediately went to the bathroom. After the dawn prayer, wearing a uniform, breakfast, like the usual, I drove Pak Ali to school.

Upon entering the school yard, my feelings were erratic. I try not to look anywhere. I'm embarrassed to see Junot. But indeed I cannot avoid the figure of the guy because when he was about to enter the class a hand pulled my hand.

"I'd like to say a word" the boy led me to the back garden of the school. And as usual, several pairs of eyes followed us.

"La. once again I'm sorry, yeah. I just don't know what to do. I am evil. When I look at you, my mind tells me that you're the only one who can help me prove that Yola has the same feelings as I did to her. I'm sorry, La. Again, I'm sorry."

I bite my lips slowly. How unfortunate I am. I was just a tool for Junot. I couldn't contain it, tears started to pool. I was so sad because the feeling of jealousy was getting stronger now. Arrg. It seems like I really fell in love with Junot. Oh, my God, this is so sad.

"La, say something donk. Pliss."

I still looked down, not daring to look at that face.

"Udah. I'll go first." That's all that came out of my mouth. Then I ran to class.

I breathed a sigh of relief, the class was still quiet and most importantly Yola had yet to come. I put down my bag, then looked around for a tissue to dry my wet eyes and nose.

"Walla..."

I almost jumped off my stool hearing a sudden voice snatching.

"A'am, my goodness... You're just nervous" I exclaimed without lifting my face. I don't want A'am to see this mess of my face.

"Why you?"

"Why? No wonder, really," I replied as I continued to snore and returned to pick up the tissue in the bag.

"Where was the date last night?"

Deg!

My heart is like being stuck with a big hammer. So ill. A date? Last night was a disaster! I cursed Junot but I just couldn't hate him.

"Dating? Who's dating?"

"But the word kids are friendly... It's been made, huh?" by the way?"

I finally dared to look at A'am. When I looked at my face, A'am immediately fell silent.

"La, what's wrong with you? You're crying?"