WE LIVE SIDE BY SIDE (CERPENE)
Chapter XXXVI (ALONE OCEAN)
My name is Hani, born March 9, 1999, I am just the son of a poor farmer who lives in the village.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be like my friends, have new clothes, a new bike, and a TV in the house, and not to forget, I wanted to be like my friend Ime, the face is like an angel, nose pointed and long hair straight unraveled.
Ime is my neighbor, whose parents work as cooks.
Every day I play with Ime, Ime is pretty good to me, what else is her mother named Marwah.
Every time my mother went to the garden, she would leave me in their house, if it was a day so often Marwah's mom would feed me, it was delicious, and I was so happy with the kindness of Marwah's mom, and I was so happy with the kindness of Marwah, and I still remember very well myself, if my mother left, I was very sad, because we would meet at dusk red adorn the blue sky.
At that time I turned towards the north, and before long I saw the figure of my mother who walked by putting firewood on her head and her bag of goods placed on her right shoulder.
“Mother! Mom!” I cried out for joy at my mother's arrival, after she arrived, she always kissed me on the cheek and we went back to the house, which was right behind my friend Ime's house.
A few years later, I had entered the school, at that time I felt my teachers pay less attention to me, I was confused, it was just my feeling, or is that the truth?
Why would I say that? Because if there is any activity in our school, surely only the members are beautiful, handsome and rich, I often feel excluded from those who are, what's more my roommate, if at school no one wants to be close to me, even though I really want to be friends with those who are beautiful nothing compares.
But I re-read myself, if I am close to them, then they will continue to roast, while I, only given Rp. Rp. 500 per week, sometimes my parents also do not give money, because our economy is difficult.
Similarly, when I go to school during the day, even though I answered right and struggled to learn, at the time of rapot acceptance, I always received the last rank, and I always received the last rank, there was also a teacher who was so hearty to me, at that time we went home from school, my teacher's mother walked with Ime in front of me, while the teacher's mother paddled Ime so as not to overheat, this heart also said, “egaan you ma'am, in terms of Ime my close friend, what's wrong mom invite me also walk next to you bu?”
It feels very sad, they often like that every time they go home from school, the beautiful teacher's mother never spoke to me, “maybe because I'm ugly,” that's the reason that arises in my mind.
When I was in SD too, I dreamed of joining the marching troops, but I was not chosen, after that I did not dare to present myself again, my parents did not care too much, either, not because they do not love me, but because they are too busy looking for sustenance, as a result it does not occur to me who wants to be guided.
A few days before August 17th, I could only see from the 2nd floor of my school, my friends were marching in line to welcome the celebration of Indonesian independence, wanting to cry and ask the teacher to come along, but afraid of disappointment because of the rejection.
Although I was always left out, I never intended to quit school.
In my old elementary school, we students were instructed by the principal to sell fried food in the cafeteria, but we never paid a dime, I often tempted on snacks that I have to sell, but there is no money to buy, instead I was asked to fine when the fried money is less Rp. 5000.
Unfair treatment I have often received, to the point that even the acceptance of the report I was always the last order, in the case that obviously there were more stupid than me, and at the time of the oral exam, he said, questions from others I can get, but those who are not able to answer the questions made champions, the most I can not forget, we at that time have not learned Nahu, Nahu, but I made red marks while the others didn't.
I thought the naughtiness only reached SD, but it turned out to be repeated in Junior High School, where my friends often scorned me, saying I was the shit, the wc, it was, the pig squealed, I cried often, and also asked the Lord “What justice and privilege belong only to the beautiful and the rich? Has anyone experienced anything like I accept? Just now I mask SMP, I've been treated like that? Got bullied, there was even my big-bodied, black male friend who could throw 2 big fists into my eyes.
Remembering those times, I was always crying, realizing I could be nothing and liked by no one, I decided to write, at first, at first, the Indonesian teacher told us to make a poem, I poured out my heart there, although not as I experienced, at the time of collection, the teacher told me to come forward, so I did, I also read the poem I made, thank God the response was good, from there I got the strength, made various titles of poetry, I really want to follow the race, but the one invited was not me, but I did not, except for my other friend.
When there was free time, I wrote a romance, and suddenly there was something different, I felt more comfortable, all this distress was poured out, so it felt like my life burden was light, dozens of poems I created, I also tried to publish it, but it was always rejected, but I never gave up, even though my poetry notebook was wet because it was exposed to water
Until High School, I thought about making a short story, and a novel, and it turned out that making a story was no less interesting than making poetry, instead I could be anything I wanted to be by writing.
At that time I tried to publish to a print media, but there was no response
I feel like crying, inside the house, I always ask do’a to my mother, so that one day, someone can publish my works, he said, I also want to be a successful writer.
After High School, I went to the University, there I also joined the membership of love writing, I have submitted my work, which is pantun and poetry, but still not published, they just say.
“Later published.” until now there is no news about the work I submitted.
Then, I gave my work to another place, the result was the same, often this heart was disappointed and did not intend to write anymore, but the shadow of the illusion scene always approached me.
My lecturer also once gave me hope, he said “Definitely rising.”
But the years have changed, there is no news of the continuation, various reasons that he gave, until I finally asked the Dean, the answer is quite satisfactory.
“The mother did not give anything to the father of nak.” from there I do not want to contact the lecturer anymore.
I don't want to write anymore, they just give me false hope. My heart is very disappointed, and so are my parents.
But back again a speck of hope approached me, a kind brother would help me, “Send only the script deck, later brother will give to the publisher.” I was excited again, I was happy, although I had to borrow money to print 281 pages of paper, but I did not feel worried. And at that time my lover encouraged me, so that I did not feel hopeless.
Two months after being sent, there was no news, I asked bang Jono.
“sorry yes deck, brother has not submitted any works ade, because brother's father is sick again.” back again I feel disappointed, if people say this heart like in sayat sembilu, for me, I feel disappointed, which other part will be in the sembilu? I think it's all full of incisions.
“Oh.. yes bang, may his father recover quickly, send greetings to his father yes bang.” said I held back tears.
That's all I can say, I can't possibly force things, I also hope that bang Joni's father will recover quickly, so that he can also move as usual. I who was above was disappointed, no longer want to move my fingers to touch the keyboard.
Until one day I saw the event on my friend Sumiati's facebook account. There is a free book publishing there.
Honestly, it's not the free stuff I see, but the opportunity, because ever since I was a kid, my dream was to become a famous writer.
I hurriedly prepared the latest manuscript file, although I do not know yet, what this work will be as fateful as before, but I hope this time is different, but I hope it is different, even though I cannot be like those who are true writers, at least I want to make the side I have.
I want to be an inspiration to others, and I want my dream to come true, until my book is published by Pantene Group. My fate turned out to be lucky, thank God I said to the Divine.
Tidididit tidididit. tididididit.
“Hoam!!” I stretched out my hands and legs. Then I look at the calendar for January 20, 2018.
“Hah? I have to go back to school!”
Done it.
