WE LIVE SIDE BY SIDE (CERPENE)

Chapter XIII (Lost Women of Dusk Part II)

After I had enough money, I sent my two grandchildren, lucky they understood my situation, not fussy asking for snacks like other children.

Alhamdulillah, now my grandson Ali is in 5th grade, while Zahra is in 2nd grade. They have been with me for 5 years, I am not as strong as I used to be, now I am 64 years old.

Seeing my vulnerable state, my two grandchildren often help me to sell vegetables, go around with a large black bucket that we usually use to place dirty dishes.

I've always felt guilty for taking their power, for both of them are still children.

“Nek, this year Ali same Zahra in the buy clothes Lebaran not nek?” Ask Ali to me.

It did not feel like Ramadan anymore, the question was enough to make me sad, because since they were with me, I have never bought them clothes, except used clothes given by others.

“God willing yes cu, if there is sustenance, grandma buy ya.” My words seemed to encourage them, they both smiled happily.

Indeed, I already intend to buy them lebaran clothes, because this Ramadan coincides with the rice harvest season, God willing, there will be many people who need my services.

“Nek, tomorrow we go to the garden again right, to pick vegetables for sale?” ask my grandson Zahra.

“God willing, let's get ready, we have to go pray tarwih,” said I.

Then the three of us went to the mosque after dinner, every time I pray tarwih, I always advise my grandchildren not to come out of the mosque before finishing praying, because understand, I want to say, the children outside always judge my grandchildren, because my grandchildren rarely go to school.

“Nek, which mosque do we go to?” zahra.

“Ke Mosque only ***.” I smile at him thinly.

“Oh, the 23 skirt ya nek?” said Zahra with a slightly sour face.

Instantly my laughter escaped to see my grandchildren, understand me, they were always tired because of his many moments. After a few minutes walk, we reached the mosque, in the mosque I put on the face of Zahra.

After Azan reverberated, we performed Isya prayers, which were then followed by tarweh and witir prayers.

After performing the service, Zahra and I went home, while Ali went to Tadarusan.

“Ali, later go home tadarus not to sahurnya.” said me.

“Iyanek.” That's how we are every day, night goes tarawih, day works.

My grandson Ali also regularly follows the tadarus, he will come home at 2, as well as wake me up to cook sahur.

When I was busy in the kitchen, Zahra would also wake up, much like my children of old, always accompanying me when preparing sahur dishes.

God, how I miss my time with my children.

After everything was done, we served it on a plain white padan mat from my knit.

Then I led the intention of fasting, which my two grandchildren followed.

“Nawaitu shauma ghodin 'an adaa'i fardhi shahri romadhoona hadihis-sanati lillahi ta'aalaa.”

After eating sahur, we waited for dawn to pray, finished the morning prayer, I told my two grandchildren to sleep, and I myself prepare my equipment for the rice fields of the people who call me to the harvest.

Every day during Ramadan, there is almost always someone who employs me, thank God, good enough, enough money for our needs, and can still be in the tube to buy clothes Lebaran Ali and Zahra.

I break my fast more often on the road, than along with them, because coming home from the fields of people already Magrib.

At home Ali replaced me to cook rice. When I come, my grandson always welcomes me with laughter, lifts my bag, and massages my body after the Magrib prayer.

I used to think when I looked at my grandson's two faces.

“Is there no longing in the minds of their parents both?”

“Nek, we have no money?” Ali asked me by lowering his head.

“Indeed why grandma?” say me.

“I want to buy egg rolls that are sold in front of the mosque nek, from yesterday I've been wanting to, but if there is nothing, is nothing?” my grandson said by closing his lips.

“Grandmother has money, what is the price of her egg rolls how much Ali?” ask me, understand me, I am all mediocre, never buy outside the basic needs.

“Rp 500 nek, but don't need to be granny, Rp 500 will be able to buy raw tempe nek, more delicious, can make the side dishes of us three.” said Ali.

I was so sorry for him, when my son was a kid too, I couldn't give him what they wanted.

yeah, it's only natural that I'm not in their memories, and I feel like I deserve it.

Then I took money from my sarong cloth, which I tied with rubber, I took as much as Rp. 3000.

“This is take, Ali share Zahra ya.” said me by holding back my tears.

With a smile, I rub my grandson's shoulder “relax, grandma still have money, buy it, if grandma does not have, surely grandma says no, let's not you guys every day snack, just buy it, sana buy later run out again.” said me.

After I assured him, Ali and Zahra would accept him, thanking me.

Then they went to the front of the mosque to buy the egg rolls they wanted, I thought they would eat it alone, but as it turned out, they brought me 2 egg rolls.

In the morning, when I was going to go to the rice fields of Ani, I told my grandchildren to stay at home do not go anywhere, and they obey.

When harvesting rice in the rice fields of Bu Ani, the sun was very hot, my friends who took part in harvesting that day decided not to fast, only I was still surviving, they offered me a drink, and I did not want to, but I refused.

Actually I also feel very weak, work is not strong, but I can not complain, because I have to buy my two grandchildren clothes, should and should.

Today is the 29th Ramadan, thank God, the money I collected was Rp 600,000 with pleasure, I invited my two grandchildren to the market to buy new clothes, he said, they both are happy not to play.

I'm also happy, because before they didn't dare to comment that there were no clothes, because both of them know, I don't have money.

In the market, their eyes go to and fro, to see the various models of clothes that will be chosen.

My eyes so glazed over and my heart said “This is how if you have money, feet, eyes and mouth can go anywhere.”

We stopped at one of the sellers, Zahra saw a red dress, which was so beautiful, Zahra asked me for the shirt, then we asked how much it cost.

“Sorry ma'am, that red shirt how much does it cost?” ask me while pointing in the direction I mean.

“Rp. 250,000,” replied the seller.

“Gosh, so expensive,” my inner.

Obviously we could not afford it, until finally the seller offered pink clothes, as beautiful as before, only different subtleties of materials.

Thank goodness Zahra also liked it, if Ali chose blue clothes, the price is also suitable, finished buying clothes, we also went to buy Lebaran sandals.

After finishing shopping for clothes and kitchen materials for Lebaran tomorrow we went home.

The night of takbir began to echo “allaahu akbar wa lillaahilhamd.allaahu akbar kabiiraw wal hamdu lillaahi katsiiraa wasubhaanallaahibukrataw wa ashiilaa. laa ilaaha illallaahu walaa na'budu illaa iyyaahu mukhlishiina lahud-diina though karial kaafiruun.”

Hearing the sound of takbir from the mosque, I was unable to eat the food that was in front of me, the echoes of takbir so deeply pierced my heart.

Because I will be separated from Ramadan, my husband and the family that preceded me will leave me to nature.

I continued to cry, and I prayed and prayed for them to be forgiven all their sins by Allah, without me realizing I had fallen asleep on my prayer mat.

When I woke up, I saw the clock that had shown at 05:00 am, I woke up my grandchildren, I told them to take the Eid-al-Fitr circumcision bath with me to the river near my house.

After the shower, we prayed at dawn, then ate breakfast, then I told my two grandchildren to sit in front of me, and I taught them to apologize to me first.

New Zahra to Ali, after the end of the pardon, I took my face that has been many in the other colors, for Eid prayers, but Ali and Zahra do not allow it.

“Mukenah it is obsolete, do not use it again.” said Ali.

“Iya nek,” sahut Zahra.

“But grandma only has one face cu.” said me.

Then the unexpected surprised me, Ali took a box out of the cardboard box of their clothes.

“What is this?” ask me.

“That's for grandma, just open nek.” said Ali and Zahra.

I followed my grandson's orders, and I opened the box, which turned out to be a new pair of faces.

“Where did this get from? Who loves Ali, Zahra?” I asked in amazement, for as far as I knew they had no money to buy me a new face.

“That's from the results of selling vegetables, during this Ramadan, Ali and Zahra went to the garden to pick vegetables, then we sold them to stalls and also to the homes of direct residents, he said, so we can buy new mukenah for granny.” said Ali.

My tears were unstoppable, I hugged my two grandchildren while saying thank you many times.

After all this time, I can finally feel happy and sincere to live a life without my children, thank God, you have sent my two grandchildren to me, please help us always in our days.

With a laugh, we rushed to the mosque to pray Eid al-Fitr circumcision.

Done it.

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