Unite In Love

Lulu Andriana (FlashBack Part3)

Three months have passed since that heartbreaking event. But it felt like it happened like yesterday afternoon. Sometimes I cry regretting this heartbreaking fate. There was no one at home and it made me feel even more sorrow. If I am sad on whom will I depend? If I'm sick to whom would I be spoiled? And if I feel hungry to whom will I whine for a bribe?

My world's over since Mama and Papa's heart stopped beating. Why am I not the only one who is gone? Why Mama and Papa? What are my faults and sins until this test enters my cheerful life?

Strange thoughts continue to fill my brain, not even infrequently I blame myself. If it wasn't my graduation day then Mama and Papa would still be with me right now. If only! If only! Why should I be wondering? That's not my style. I began to realize, circumstances can make us a tough figure, and circumstances that can make us become helpless.

Am I as powerful as that to the point that even breathing feels tight? Even the condition of my house looks like a ship broke, I am still too weak to be able to take care of myself, then how can I care about other things? Right now I'm still standing at the point where it's all over, and now I can't get up from the pain I've been through.

Lord... I believe in you more than anything on this earth. You will not test your servant beyond the limits of his ability, I rest before you in my worst condition, help me to rise from this pain. If it continues like this, I will be without suffering. My babble inwardly while removing the corner of the eye with the back of my right hand.

Troetttt!

The sound of the door opening made me instantly sigh violently. I'm sure it's Nissa, only she's always meeting me on the sidelines of her busy helping the mother of the parlour.

"What's wrong with you? Do you want to be gone? Why are you torturing yourself with this kind of life? You didn't even turn on the lights, and what is this?" Nissa asked as she flicked the cloth covering my head.

There was no reply from me, I could only shut up while ducking down. Hearing Nissa's rant made my world a little colorful, unfortunately I couldn't serve it because I was still busy gathering my remaining energy so that I could survive.

"I left you in less than two hours, see your condition? You look like a strange figure I don't know. Why have you changed so far? Where is the passionate and intelligent Lulu Andriana? Not only did you hurt yourself, you hurt me by living like this. Hiks.Hiks.Hiks."

My chest was getting claustrophobic, hearing Nissa's sobs made me want to thrash. I also want to be cheerful again, I also want to return to be a figure that Mama and Papa can be proud of. What am I supposed to do? I can't force myself to be happy, for others it might be easy smiling, but for me? In this condition, I can just breathe I feel relieved, I don't know where my smile disappeared, I hope that the Power will restore it so that I can live a normal life again, life like nothing happened.

"I also want to live Nis, but it feels like..." My words are stuck in my throat. I stared at Nissa's sad face as I broke into tears. Slowly I went back to wiping the corners of my eyes with the back of my hand.

"What does it feel like, Lu..? I know the pain you're going through. I felt that pain first. You're so lucky that Power gives you happy memories with Om and Auntie. While me?"

Nissa looked at me with a painful look, the net that usually always shines now filled with tears.

"I don't know what my parents' faces looked like, I was put in front of the parlour in a terrible condition. More painful still, I can't curse the cruel old man.

I wish they were gone so Om and Aunt could ask them why they abandoned me. What is my fault if I am born into this world? I'm just happy, you, Om and Aunt are always by my side. You never let me lack one bit. If you were in this bad shape what would I say to Om and Auntie? And if you're in this bad state you don't think I'm sad? I feel like I'll never see your bad condition!"

None?

My soul instantly thrashed, I covered Nissa's mouth with my right palm, I still trembled at that one word. I hugged Nissa's trembling body while breaking into tears. I couldn't calm him down with just words, because I knew it would be useless. Slowly I patted Nissa on the shoulder, her slender body still shaking in my arms.

"Don't ever say that again! If you dare to say it I promise I will definitely leave you. You know I never lie, every word I say is the truth." Saying as I took my hug off Nissa's body, I wiped her tears with both hands.

I smiled as I patted Nissa's arm. I wish my smile would erase her sadness.

"Well, I promise I'll never say that again. But now you have to come with me?"

"Come with you? Whither? I can't stay in a parlor!"

Platyakkk!

Nissa nudged my eel, pretty hard. I looked at him with a sharp gaze, which irritated me, I grimaced in pain and he instead laughed triumphantly.

"That's a reward because you're making me miserable." Nissa said as she ran. He tickles like a running athlete. And of course I chased after him, I wanted to repay him with the same reply.

...***...

"Nliss... Did you hear any strange noises?"

Instead of answering my question, Nissa pulled my arm.

"Hurry, Lu... The rain is getting worse." Nissa grumbled as she accelerated her footsteps.

Glekkk!

I swallowed the saliva while standing sculpted, staring at a single point without batting an eye. The rain is getting worse I don't care anymore. I was too surprised, I couldn't even say a word.

"Ckckl... Lulu Andriana, what's wrong with you? I'm asking you to speed up your footsteps, you're keeping quiet here!" Nissa grumbled as she poked her head with her handbag.

"Miss... There's a baby over there! I'm sure I heard his voice! I'll see it." I replied without caring about Nissa's annoyance.

"Hay ma'am, are you dreaming? Are you not sane? Which fool would put his baby in the rain like this.

Come on, we gotta go! We should be arriving at the parlor soon. If we stay here any longer, don't blame me if you get sick tomorrow." Nissa said, holding my arm.

"Wait a minute, I've got to see it. You take the shade." Reply again regardless of Nissa's annoyance.

My chest was pounding very hard, my whole body was shivering from the cold, but it did not make me feel any pain. I felt a pain in my heart as my shady netra stared at the basket from which the sound of a baby crying sounded.

"Lu... There's an apppp." Nissa's words were stuck in her throat as soon as she saw what I saw.

"Infant? Whose baby is this? Which insolent man would leave his son in this heavy rain?" Nissa grumbled as she looked at me who was currently holding the baby boy.

"It's good we found him. If it's a little late I'm sure this sweet boy will be gone from the cold. We have to take her and hand this child over to the mother's parlour." Nissa said again.

"No, Nis. I'm not going to give this child to the mother of the parlour."

"What do you mean by not handing this child over to the mother?"

"Yes... What you heard is true. I'm not going to hand this child over to the orphanage's mother. I'll take care of him myself, he's my son."

"Lulu Andriana! Are you out of your mind already? Wh-what do you mean? Taking care of this kid? Have you lost your mind." Nissa spoke in a high tone. I could see from his face that he was very upset by the decision I made.

"No, Nis. I'm fine."

"No. You're not okay. You want to take care of this? You want to be a single mom? We just graduated high school and you said you wanted to be a single mom? Do you think your Mama and Papa in Heaven would agree to this decision? Take care of yourself, just take care of someone else. Do you remember the last time you ate? You don't remember, do you? And now you want to take care of someone else's child? Nonsense."

Because Nissa was upset to even stand up while turning her back to me.

"Miss... Look at this kid! Isn't she very sweet? I can't leave it here alone or leave it in the starch.

Three months have passed since the departure of Mama and Papa, I think we have the same fate. No parents and no holding. And now I want us to strengthen each other.

I will hold the hand of this sweet boy and be a strength to him. I will be his mother, taking care of him in joy and sorrow. From today he is my son." I said as I looked at Nissa's annoyed face. He can't say anything. He could only sigh violently. I know he doesn't agree with my unilateral decision.

"Lulu... You disappointed me. Not only did you make the decision to take care of this child, you also decided to wear a headgear. I don't know your way of mind. I hope you're still sane after everything that happened this time." Nissa said as she looked at me with a sharp look. I could tell from the look in her eyes that she was really upset with me.

In his heart condition like that, there was nothing I could do but wait for him to well back. It's not that I'm not sane, I just think it's the best.

I decided to wear a head covering instead of thinking of myself as better than others. I do it for the peace of my soul and as a form of my obedience to the Power, I hope by this decision the souls of Mama and Papa feel calm. I can say I am moving step by step.

I admit I'm still unstable because I'm just a teenager who doesn't know anything. But I also know that God prefers obedient young people.

Regardless of Nissa's anger anymore, I clutched the sweet boy that was currently in my arms. I am sure God will make all my business easier.

"Darling... From today you are my son. I'm your Mommy. Mommy gave you the name Husain, the son who will be the cooler of Mommy's heart and outlook." My tears were shedding profusely, out of nowhere my courage came and decided to become a single mother. Whatever it is, I leave all my business to the merciful and loving God, God.

...***...