Under the Same Sky

Chapter 12

The past few days, my mind has been so full of all the burdens I've been going through lately. Last night I sent a leave application letter to the company via e-mail. Just this morning they replied to my e-mail in the hope that I would immediately complete the tasks that were still my responsibility during my time off. As Mark suggested, I must finish the designs for Mr. Hansel.

Time still shows at nine when I'm done talking to Mom. Actually today there is not much work in the kitchen so I have time to be able to work on the pictures that I have to collect immediately until the time comes to go to the Supermarket later in the afternoon to buy the materials are running out just as you told me just now. However, after a short conversation with Mom a while ago, my thoughts and feelings became so unpleasant that I felt sad about what Mom told me about Mark. My desire to be able to draw again, as if lost without a trace. My brain is empty.

I glanced out of the house, towards the courtyard which was only attended by a handful of brothers who were downstream to prepare for the ceremony of the seven daily Grandmothers later tonight. It seems like if I run away for a moment from this routine, no one will protest.

By driving a car, I headed towards the Park in the middle of Jakarta. I hope in the Park to get thousands of ideas for myself to draw again while freeing up the feelings of anxiety that I feel this time.

At eleven o'clock in the afternoon, I had arrived at the park armed with a pocket camera and a bottle of mineral water.

A leisurely walk in the garden area with a variety of plants and a crowd of adults and children who come to the park make me entertained for a moment. I stared at my phone which displayed a picture of the Peacock, the Biggest and Most Beautiful Bird that could Fly. How much I love this animal, how I am fascinated by its beauty, how I admire the tail feathers that if developed, would look very beautiful and vibrant. Who does not know the Peacock? One of God's creatures that has beauty in its fur.

I chose to sit on a bench, under a fairly lush tree to bring shade during the day. The wind blew against my body and my long hair, giving me the soothing sensation I so needed lately.

I lifted my gaze up, toward the sky that was no longer blue. Look at the clouds for a few seconds.

Suddenly, the phone in my pocket I borrowed from the Princess rang. Bang Adit's?

" Hello, Bang Adit?" my Sapaku answered his phone call.

" Hello, Alya. Says auntie, would you like to be escorted to the Supermarket later this afternoon? What so?" ask Bang Adit.

" Oh, that's not Bang. I'm alone." I refused subtly.

" Loh? It's okay Al, I don't have a job anymore, either."

" Next time, Bang. I'm off on my own now."

" Have you been to the supermarket?"

" I'm going to the park first. There is a need, after this new to the Supermarket."

" Aren't tired of driving all the way, Al?"

I understand what Bang Adit means. Home, Garden and Supermarket are like triangles. The house is in the middle of the north, the Park is in the western part of the House which is an hour away, and the Supermarket is in the eastern part of the House which is half an hour away. If I go to the park first new to the Supermarket, it means I travel for an hour to be able to arrive at the Park. Then, an hour and a half to be able to arrive at the Supermarket, plus another half hour to get home. Three hours to travel.

" No, Bang. Thanks, I'm taking me."

" It's no problem, Al. Don't point that way. I'm so happy, I'm happy for you."

" sthat mean?" bang Adit asked, sounding confused.

" Yes, are you smiling because you had to be told by my mother or are you really my smile?" I repeated my question.

" I'm happy with you, Al. Don't be told to be with aunty. Why is that so?"

" Why not, I answered quickly.

" Is there a problem, Al?" bang Adit asked, demanding an explanation for my strange question just now.

" Nothing, Bang." avoid me.

" You don't like coming out with me, do you?" accuse Bang Adit.

I sighed softly. Bang Adit was visibly offended by my question. This is one thing I want to avoid from my mother's efforts to match myself with Bang Adit. I love Bang Adit as my own brother because of my desire to have a brother. To me, Bang Adit is my brother. We grew up together since childhood, living a happy childhood. If you now want us to have more than just brothers, there is a possibility that one of us will be hurt. And this time, I have to be the one to hurt.

" It's good, Bang. It's just not good to ask for your help."

" Actually, I'm asking for aunty, Alya. I'm the one who wants to be close to you. Can you, Al?"

I suddenly lost the ability to speak. Bang Adit asked Mom for permission?

" Alya.." call Bang Adit again when I don't answer his words.

" We are, we are near the Bang." I replied, trying to kink from the real meaning.

Bang Adit was silent to my words. Did I offend him again?

" Bang, we'll talk later, yeah, at home. It's not good to talk on a rich phone." I need to end this uncomfortable conversation right away. I don't want to add more heartache to Bang Adit.

" Okay, Alya. Be careful on the road. If there is anything, tell me yes." he said resignedly.

" Thank you, Bang."

I exhaled a long breath. I just realized that refusing an arranged marriage is a small matter compared to having to reject the heart of someone you consider to be a brother. If I am not comfortable with this approach, will my relationship with him remain as it used to be? I don't want him to stay away. Brothers don't stay away from each other, do they?