The Woman I Stained

Spontaneous Request

The Pov Mandala

I never thought my actions would have this fatal effect. I should have realized from the beginning, Nailis was still sitting in the third grade of High School. I thought she got married after graduation, turned out that the school did not give her any tolerance and took her out. What a depraved deed I had to make the teenage girl bear the shame that made her almost depressed.

After dawn, I saw that he was busy sweeping the house and yard. My mom and her mom cook in the kitchen. While the father is also Pak Wato sitting chatting in front of the television while listening to the dawn lecture of the famous ustad.

Last night Nailis flatly refused her father's request to marry me. The man he called a rapist! Pain ... but that's the truth. I deserve that title.

Saturday, the factory where he works is off. That's what I heard from their breakfast conversation. After washing the dishes, Nailis was busy watering her oyster mushrooms by taking our son with us. Right no? I'm his father even though reality is undeniable. I, his father, the loser who's been hiding away all this time, ran away from responsibility.

"Here I help." I'm trying to get along.

"No need," he said as he moved away, taking a considerable distance from me. I tried to understand, maybe he was scared and uncomfortable with me. Although there's Leon among us.

I finally decided to invite Leon to play in the yard. Seeing it was like seeing a mini version of myself. He really looks a lot like me. He is also very easy to get close to someone new. It is not difficult to get along with him. I kept talking to her and my handsome ballerina spoke her funny language.

Grateful me. At least Nailis did not forbid his son to be close to his father who baj*ngan.

"Lho Leon .. How does it look like?" A passing mother greeted us. It seemed like it was about to go to the rice field looking from the attributes it was wearing. Camping and hoe on his shoulder.

Some neighbors said something similar. I just smiled and answered yes. There's no way I can answer that I was the one who raped her mother until I was born this mini version.

Looks like this will be a new topic in the world of village residents. Is this how Nailis lived his days? My determination is getting stronger to take on his responsibilities. I have to pay for all the hurt and suffering I have inflicted on her life. Even though I know it won't be easy, I will fight to make her happy.

***

"Nailis .. once again I'm sorry." I'm looking for an opportunity to talk to him face-to-face.

When I saw him walking into the mushroom house. I followed him immediately. I saw fear in his eyes, it was natural. Maybe the trauma of what I did a long time ago. O Lord .. how sinful is this self ...

"Nai, please don't be afraid. That night I was completely consumed by alcohol, I don't even remember clearly what I did to you ...."

I saw that he was beginning to calm down, but still took some distance from me. His hands began to skillfully harvest the oyster mushrooms that were blooming.

Without saying I helped him. Damn, these eyes couldn't stop stealing glances at him.

Nailist. His face is calm, his eyes are soft, if you are silent people will think he is jutek. But when he smiled at Leon, a soul-drugging gentleness emanated. Lips are thin, the nose is not sharp nor pug, fitting according to the portion. His face was thin, his hair black, waist long. Usually pigtailed carelessly if at home. Only when he came out of the house did he lock it neatly, sometimes also just move it. His body is tall and slender. It's more of a look I've seen than the last time I saw it two years ago. Of course, as his age progressed there were certain parts that changed. Please don't judge me perverted .. I just admire his charm. Things I've never done before. Even to Amaya, my own lover.

In my eyes, Nailis has a unique natural beauty. When polishing the face, the aura of her beauty was so pronounced. Conversely without makeup, his face emits a plain side that can not make these eyes look away. I don't know why I can overdo it like this judging him. Should I admire him? The baj*ngan man who had so much heart to desecrate him ...

"How many seconds?" I tried to break the silence between us.

"Fifteen," he replied coldly as before. Even looking at me is not. It is fitting that this treatment I receive after everything that happened to his life due to my actions.

***

An hour more Nailis left. At 15:00 WIB Nailis just arrived home, after delivering an order of oyster mushrooms on his subscription. There was no one at home but me. All went to the neighbors, old acquaintances of the father, with Leon also invited. I prefer to stay home.

Uncomfortable alone with me, Nailis took the cupper and bucket, then rushed into the garden next to the house. I followed him from behind. I don't know what he's going to take. I saw him hoeing the ground on which there were no plants at all.

"What are you looking for?"

"Grubber." Still chilly. It's okay .. I'm not giving up.

"Curtain?" I don't know what plant it is. But after seeing the shape, now I know what the firefly means. Turns out the chaff is turmeric.

"Let me hoe, you take it." I took the hoe out of his hand. He looked at me in disbelief, rather underestimating me from the city. She thinks I can't? In a week I went to the gym to have a good body. Just hoeing what's hard?

"I am a man ..I am certainly greater than a woman's strength." I saw him sneering at me, making himself even more challenged. I'll prove that I can!

Waitaminute! What the fuck? Why is the ground so hard? Just a few times I swing my sweat hoe has been pouring shamelessly. Nailis looked very ordinary. Not until I am this. Jeez ...

Back I keep swinging the hoe. Nafasku. Ah shit! I'm not strong anymore. But where would I put my pride as a man if just like this had given up.

"Not to be forced .. basic sucks," he said as he handed me a bottle of drink. Shame try to put aside. I don't know when he took the bottle. I gave a sweet smile as a thank you, Nailis grunted and snorted in annoyance.

"Don't be too jutek .. the beauty will be gone," I said. But not at all responded.

The hoe that lay on the ground. After finishing half a bottle of drink, I took off the shirt I was wearing. I didn't think I'd just hoe for a second my sweat could flood like this.

How are they working downstairs? I look far away from the yellowed rice fields, some of which have been harvested. How hard it is to live as a farmer.

I looked back at the girl who was busy with her hoe. I looked at her for a long time until unconsciously these lips said," Nai .. marry me?

***

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