The Woman I Stained

Father's Feelings

I don't know what you planned. He came home without telling me anything. I don't know if you didn't tell her either. Only strangely, from afternoon until it was almost the time of sobbing, Mother and Leon had not returned home. And when I wanted to follow them, you forbade me without saying why. Usually, I do take Leon to Hasna's mother's house. There my son can play with Raihan and Alya, two children Mbak Hasna who is also a toddler.

I don't want to leave my son in Mom's care. But circumstances forced me to do this. I can't possibly depend on you with your income as a driver. I put my burdens and hardships on him. The man who loves me. The man who had high hopes for me, for my education, for my future. But fate made me take a winding path that I never expected before.

"Assynualallaikum." Greetings from Mother make this heart restless. This is what I'm afraid of. I hope what I'm afraid of doesn't happen.

"Grando." Serempak we answered his greetings while looking at the arrival of Mother and Leon.

As I expected, only a single glance did they realize something.

Is correct. This is how you first looked at my son's face. Gradually became a question as more and more days became clear what he thought all this time and did not dare he ask me.

The view of the three guests can not be separated from my little son. Toddlers aged one year more who are already good at walking, running small approaching me. Immediately I lift his body which began to pioneer, after six months of treatment his lung spots finally completed. Relieve my worries as a young mother who has a baby for the first time. I kissed her adorable cheeks. My son Leon, my life spirit.

I saw Mr. Usman and Ms. Dewi throwing eyes at each other, then turned to look at their son's face. Just like a father who cannot be lied to. Because my son and that man have a face like a betel in two. Of course, because he is the father of my son.

A long time ago, I waited a whole month for good faith from him. In the long wait I looked for his social media. It turned out that the man already had a very beautiful lover. It's just, I'm still waiting for just his apology to me. But never come. Was there not a single speck of guilt in him that had ruined my future? The education I sacrificed, my future and my love story had to run aground.

More than that, the feeling of shame and depression because of the neighbor's talk I have to swallow myself. I spent over a year estranged from neighbors and outside life.

Everyone's mental state is not the same. I'm a nice girl who doesn't like to make trouble. The first time being the subject of neighbor gossip was a big blow that required me to consult a psychiatrist several times.

Thank God, thanks to Mother's support, you are also my ex-boyfriend and ex-husband. I can get up. Dimas, the man who let himself go is responsible for something he never did. Dimas, my lover who I have hurt but still want to sacrifice for this dirty self. I never expected her love to be the same as before. What he did was more than enough. When he decided to divorce me. Not a single bit I can hold it. He deserves to be happy, instead of having to constantly be by my side and understand this self that continues to hurt.

"German ... Dewi .. actually there is an important thing that I want to convey to invite you to visit my hut." I started talking seriously. The two middle-aged couples were speechless. So does the man I've been reluctant to meet for the rest of my life.

"Sir," my sergeant. From the beginning I wanted to keep this secret myself. If only Leon had no resemblance to his real father. You will never know what I have been hiding all this time.

"What do you think after seeing my granddaughter?" You didn't touch my objections. If it's serious like this, I have no power against the man who has banged my bones whole heart.

"Wato .. please explain to us. Why can your grandson ...." Mr. Usman seemed hesitant to continue his words.

"Try asking your son, Usman." You are now throwing an explanation at the man who had earlier lowered his head. I don't know what he's thinking.

"Mandala ...." Lady Goddess looked at her son, riled up. "What's happened?" his insistence began to impatiently see his son's residence.

"Sorry ..." That was all that was said from the lips of the man who was still looking down. The one word I've been waiting for these two years. This was said after getting pressure from his father and family.

"I'm sorry, I've been a coward all this time" he admitted. This time he looked up with a face of regret. But is it enough to pay for what he has done?

"What do you mean, Mandala?" Mr. Usman looks emotional. It seems he has started to be able to fumble over what has happened.

"What!" Mr. Usman and Ms. Dewi couldn't cover her surprise.

"You brat!" Lady Dewi seemed to lose control and hit her son's body. While Mr. Usman seemed to be stroking his chest, he did not expect his son to be able to do that.

"Wato .. I'm really sorry." Mr. Usman is really ashamed of his son's depraved behavior.

"You should have told us, To. Let this brash child take responsibility for his actions .. O Allah why is this so?" I can only watch this drama. What's all this for? It was too late for me, I was expecting nothing more. For me two years, it's been a long time just to come up with a useless apology. Where's he been all this time?

"Nailis never told me anything at all.until I saw my grandson's face with my own eyes." You look emotional. I've never seen him like this.

"Nai ... Why don't you speak honestly with us, Nduk?" The middle-aged woman looked teary.

I took a deep breath, it still felt the same. Although two years have passed.

"A month more Nailis waiting for good faith and Mother's son. At least an apology ...." Why should I cry. "But .. seems to. Nothing can be expected of a man who doesn't even seem to have the slightest bit of guilt already destroying the future of others ..." I'm the cynical lyrics of that cowardly man.

"I am a coward. But I swear...every day continues to be overshadowed by the guilt of doing dirty talk to you. My purpose here too .. I want to be honest and apologize to you as well as the family," he explained.

"Two years Nak Mandala .. Two years we wait for your honesty. One more year every day waiting for your confession. If not for Nailis .. it feels like you already want to beat you with your own hands." I've never seen this emotional father. Even when I was first honest about everything that happened to me. You just shut up and say nothing.

"I'm sorry, sir." The man prostrated himself on the Father's feet. "Please hit me, sir. Please imprison this cowardly man. I am ready to take my sins for my actions."

"Married the Father's daughter!" emphatically. I glared in disbelief, what the hell is this Father?

"Sir ... What does this mean?" my protest disagreed.

"Even though I'm not accommodated every day. But I know my son continues to be a neighbor who doesn't know what's going on. Especially after Nailis divorced her husband. From the outside he looks tough, but you know he cries every day."

"You know for yourself, I love Nailis so much, how proud I am of her. I hung high hopes on his future, so as not to be like his parents. Butwhat? She had to drop out of school .. give birth to a child prematurely. Banting bones meet his needs, paying his debt to his ex-husband who is willing to take responsibility for the actions he did not do. What can I demand from my ex-daughter-in-law? No. .. He is also a victim. When her parents ask for reciprocity, we can do anything but give it ...."

"If you were me. Will you as parents just shut up to see your child fight like this?" The old eyes looked foggy.

"If it wasn't for Nailis asking, I'd have long since held your son to account. But do you know what Nailis said?"

"He doesn't want to ruin your son's happiness. I also know Nak Mandala already has a lover ... but is this fair to my son? No, Us, Wi .. I can't keep seeing my daughter being gossiped about by so many people. Because he's actually the most hurt victim here."

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