The Times New Romance

Epilogues

*For Ayna Nabila who knows when to make me fall in love.

When you received this letter, I was probably on the operating table and had already flown overseas. I can't possibly hold a cup of coffee and be fine, Ayna. Since birth, my life has always been on the verge of life and death. Even being able to open your eyes every morning is a miracle for a Zayn.

Seven years, my parents are waiting for the birth of their first child. And I was born into the world after more than tested waiting and patience. Unfortunately, I was born with an imperfect heart. I'm disappointed in myself.

It was excruciating to see the smiles that were bursting from Mama and Papa as if I were a normal child, but when they turned around, the smiles turned into sobs. They don't really smile. There were cracks of disappointment from every smile they could never express, but I could feel it. Not only do I have to accept it, but my parents have to.

From then on, I was determined to become a stronger Zayn. Become someone more than a beloved doll of his parents. Become someone recognized by others. Become someone who is useful to others.

I decided to go to college because I was jealous of my older son who could study and play with his friends. I can only see their habits through the movies I often watch. And I didn't expect, I could meet you, Ayna.

Thanks to you, I can feel what it's like to love someone. I feel like I miss it to the point. It feels like hating someone you give a sweet smile to. It even feels like giving something that does not go as you wish.

I knew I had lost from the beginning. You have rejected me out loud, but I insist on being close to you.

I never regretted meeting you, even though I never got to say goodbye properly.

I hope you're okay and meet someone you care about. As long as it's not a guy like you-know-who, I can be sincere.

I don't know if I can open my eyes or not when you read this letter.

People like me, always wanted to leave a sign that we were alive. You understand a little why my nature is like there is no fear of it, right? Because for me, today's life is my last, so I won't regret doing anything about it.

At first I was happy to have been present in the memories of many people, but after spending time with you, I understood that the things I had been doing all this time were futile. I was quickly present in their memories, but soon they could forget me. Ever since I met you, I've wanted to be loved deeper not wider. But sadly, I'm the only one who loves you when you're longing for another.

I will not forget you. If the universe allows it, I'll come see you, Ayna. Even if your hand is held by another man, I will still look for you. To make sure you are truly happy.

The love program you planted in my heart, can never be formatted or forcibly closed. The program will continue to run non-stop as long as I still want your name. Because there are no conditions that must be met for the program to stop.

Because I love you unconditionally.

I don't expect you to repay the love of a dying person, but I would be so happy if you would remember me who was once a part of your life, Ayna*.

"At least once in a while, please remember me," Ayna said, ending the letter she had read. Ayna smiled broadly as she folded the letter that she had not opened for nearly three years. The letter that Ayna was sure could crush her hopes back then. Ayna does not regret reading this letter too late, because Ayna will not be strong if she remembers Zayn as a dying person in her memory.

"Well, did you read the letter?" The circle of hands was coiled around Ayna's shoulders. His hand was thinner than the last time Ayna could remember, but this time it was not as sturdy as before. The girl turned her head, then nodded at Zayn who was sitting next to her with a big smile.

After Faza who congratulated the princess only wayangnya was alone because it had to work, because it had to work, Zayn invites Ayna to stay away from the noise of students in a gourmet and black dress typical of graduation children who are gathering with their parents and relatives who are busy freezing the moment through the camera.

Zayn was sitting in the park outside the hotel where Ayna had graduated. Zayn was wearing casual clothes. White t-shirt wrapped in navy blue shirt and black jeans. He sat down to embrace Ayna beside him. "I'm struggling to be able to sit next to you right now, Ayna."

Ayna smiled bitterly. Zayn was not allowed to continue his studies. After all, Zayn had been in a coma for some time because of his fight with Nata. How surprised Soraya saw her son come to the hospital in an ambulance. Without many words, Erik and Soraya also brought Zayn to Singapore for his treatment because they felt, Zayn only acted rashly if he remained in Indonesia.

"Thank you for being healthy for me, Zayn. Thanks to you, I understand that God never misplaced destiny. God put me in this department, not only so I could study and now work in my father's office, but also to meet you, Zayn." Ayna held Zayn's hand tightly. Hands thinner than his memory. Imagining how much energy he had spent to be able to survive in this world, made Ayna's eyes blur. "You are a destiny I never regret."

Zayn smiled and kissed Ayna's hand for a few seconds before embracing the girl's tiny body. "There are many things you should be grateful for, Ayna. No need for big things, enough you can look at me with eyes as clear as now. Just remember you can breathe with healthy lungs. Or just remember you can sit with Zayn whose handsome is passing by."

Ayna loosened Zayn's embrace and then hit the man's arm. "It's narcissistic!" rutuknya while smiling amusedly.

"Twenty years, Ayna. Twenty years I've been waiting for a suitable donor heart. And I'm grateful that my heart is the right one for me. Although I am not completely healthy, but I am much stronger than before" Zayn said with a faint smile.

Ayna nodded. He looked at Zayn's face which looked radiant. Her pitch-black eyeballs locked onto Ayna's gaze. Drowning, put Ayna to sleep. His heart is perfect. Ayna smiled sweetly back. "I never knew you were this handsome" Ayna said.

Sontak Zayn spit out his smile and then throbbed while glaring. "You checked your eyes, right? Don't be so nearsighted anymore."

Ayna laughs. Laughter is contagious until Zayn pinched Ayna's cheek is anxious.

Ayna never expected the wrong majors would take her at a time where a tragic romantic love story begins. Previously he thought, the college period was only a time to realize the ideals or bridge to the desired job.

But now he understands that ideals are not entirely about work or decent living. Ideals are never that narrow. Seeing Zayn so tough against his illness that could have taken all his strength, when he saw Zayn who was able to laugh and even invite others to laugh, Ayna felt that the man's ideals had just been achieved. As simple as a breath, the guy was able to feel priceless happiness.

Likewise Ayna who managed to work on a program whose logic is difficult to understand, managed to beat her childish attitude that is difficult to accept differences, even able to struggle without giving up completing college, Ayna felt her ideals were achieved. God put Ayna in a direction that he did not understand, maybe not to torture her instead of introducing her that it is not necessary to go far to see the future, because five minutes later is also part of the future. His choices now are seeds to be picked in the future.

And for the first time, maybe Ayna wants to realize her little ideals. The ideal to hold the hand of the young man beside him until it was wrinkled. Because not only did Zayn feel alive, but also Ayna who now understood what she had to do for her future. Ayna decided to stop being a mountain water that only flows with the current. He sets his heart on taking his own life path for his choices. And Zayn, has become a part of Ayna's future.

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**Thank you for reading Times New Romance:)

Greetings Zayn, Ayna, and Nata.

See you in the other story**!