The Rain Is Pouring's

Sky Award

"Mel, thank you for talking to me" said Aiman before saying goodbye.

"Yes, Man. Same." I said.

"Mel, let me drop off" said Aiman standing up as if he wanted me to say "yes".

"Does , Man. Deket. Thanks," I replied.

I finally walked alone. The thin drizzle began to descend again. I feel like someone's peeking out of the windshield. When I saw that the car was already running. However, I saw a blue envelope with a love sign in the middle.

"Your envelope fell!" my yelling.

The envelope probably fell off the luxury sedan earlier.

The envelope is also not glued by glue. I saw the contents inside.

"Is this a letter?" muttered. I feel curious.

"I'm sorry, I'm not ethical for opening this envelope without your permission" I said.

"You're a gift from the sky, my beloved daughter. You're not alone."

BRUUUUUUUKKKK!!! (Someone nudges me but that person falls, while I can still keep my balance).

"So sorry.." the woman with sunglasses and all-black outfit immediately left after apologizing.

"It's okay!" my answer. Then I looked back at the writing in the envelope.

"It's lucky that this girl has a mother like her mother." My eyes glazed over the face of my mother who often exuded an aura. An aura that I have never seen on the faces of people in general. The face seemed to have a glowing light.

"Why is mom's face like a lamp in the garden?" askaku. She smiled and replied, "Let's know, maybe God loves me".

"What do I need to do so that God can love me?" my many.

"Don't let your heart get dirty from being busy judging others. God will love you" he replied.

"God will also love those who are patient and sincere, and also those who help in kindness" said my mother at the time.

But I woke up from my daydream, suddenly I remembered that I had to tell Yusuf.

A few moments later..

I was relieved to have informed Yusuf that I had reached home since then. It seems like only grandma and Om Yusuf care about my situation.

Now I feel like I have no one left after seeing the true nature of the people at home. Going home does not bring relief just sowing disappointment. I feel like just a kara. My heart doesn't want to go back to a big family anymore.

"Mr.. Mother.. Amel must be strong and endure this harsh life alone."

Kara sebatang..

Even I still felt my mother's aura live on in my heart, as if she was still around me. I don't know if it's just my feeling, because I didn't find the answer either.

"There's no Junot anymore" I cried remembering Junot's silly face that was always there comforting when I felt troubled. The good guy is not here now.

Then I took my hand and sent prayers to my loved ones, father, mother, and Junot.

"I'm just a human being who has to live this life as best I can" I said.

"Lord, lead your despicable servant down a straight path" I said honestly because I really need a map of God's life so as not to get lost in order to live this complicated life.

Arriving in the alley before entering the house I saw Oxcel with all his limitations was sitting on the porch of his house. He was so happy to see the raindrops coming down by pointing his index finger outwards.

I'm ashamed, even Oxcel was so grateful for what he was doing. So happy with the grace that came down from the sky tonight.

"I have to move on. I need to find my own happiness. But what does it mean to be happy if I work hard just for myself, that's not life. I have to live my life like a flower. I had to realize the hopes of my parents that were embedded in my name. Amelican..

"You can do it, Amel!" I encouraged myself.

"Auntie Winda? Is Grandma asleep, Tumben didn't pick up my phone?" ask Om Yusuf's wife on the phone.

"Yes, then. Greetings to everyone. Assalamu'alaikum." I hung up.

"Hmmm." she replied so coldly.

No self-esteem while my life continues to survive. (the song Last Child sounds from the contract next door as if I know how I feel right now).

The more you grow up, the more you realize that something you consider family does not exist, because it is no longer as friendly as childhood.

The more mature you can judge which ones are sincere and full of gimmicks.

The more mature the more aware that looking for as much money as possible is more important because with you have a lot of money all will easily consider you as a family.

You'll be like a magnet pulling opposite poles.

Sometimes people who do not have blood relations are even more worthy to be considered family because they are able to accept us well.

All of this made me realize that I had to live independently, no need to depend on anyone.

Family, only meaningless status continues to tie the namum to each other. That's how I feel right now.

In the end I realized that our extended family was not as different as other people's family relationships. Not like a needle that unites, but even like a pair of scissors that separate, and it becomes toxic to each other.

In the end I decided consciously to withdraw from this toxic circle.

"I hope to build my own family someday like the family of others who have a tight fraternal rope, guyub get along well until the end of life." I sighed.

I don't know if my mother used to experience such terrible discrimination in the family of this father? Then why did my mother manage to survive this far. Isn't that very painful.

I woke up from this long thought. I have to wash my face, pray Isya, and rest.

After the Isya prayer, I somehow got distracted by the bag. I opened my bag.

I was surprised that there was a blue pouch with the initials PAA with the embossed golden color.

"When have I had this?" my murmur took out the contents inside.

"Is this a savings book?" I muttered and opened it.

"Araumsari Hestiana".

"No way.." I'm shyock.

"Mother...?!!!" tears trickling.

It was even more shocking when I saw the date this account was created. 01 July 2021. Use this money wise - a small post-its stuck to the back cover of the savings book.

He wrote down notes to use this money wisely.

I was surprised that the balance of this account was in the form of AUSD (Australian Dollar). 100,000 AUSD. There is an ATM and PIN that is still sealed.

"God, this is a lot. How did this get into my suitcase?" heart wonders.

Occasionally pinch my arm. "Abs!!!" I feel like this is not a dream.

I remember going back from my flight at YIA to how I got off in Soetta (Soekarno-Hatta) to the bus and on my way home.

"Ah, yaa.. I think the woman who hit me after coming from the minimarket," I thought.

I thought that woman was my mother. I was more and more convinced that my mother was still alive and treading on the same land.

"Alhamdulillah," I said gratefully.

Then how can I find my mother? Why did new mothers show up now for a dozen years? Why is the money in Australian dollars?

Was my mother in Australia?