THE MYSTERY OF PAST MATCHMAKING

Introduce me first

"My name is Genduk Derani, who has only been widowed for one year. I don't know what I'm lacking, it's important that I try to be a good wife to my husband. But in fact in vain, where he still has an affair with his previous girlfriend. Though our marriage was only 2 years old, which we married because of an accident first or arguably pregnant first. My parents never allowed me to have a relationship at that time. But I don't know what fate is so I can be like this.

"That's probably all because of my parents' promises I heard a lot when I was a kid. Many years ago my father worked for the largest coal company in East Kalimantan. Because we were there no brothers then we were appointed brothers with my father's friend who we are both from Java, the difference between east and central Java. That's why my name can be Fat because if the Javanese people are called fat girls. While my father's adopted brother's son who was 5 years above me has been named Thole aranjani which Thole called a boy.

At that time even though I was a child about 1 year old I was often taken care of by brother Thole. Though he also has a sister 2 years above me but I don't want to play with him. Until finally I was often invited where he played in the housing complex of factory workers.

Until one day my father had an accident in delivering heavy equipment and finally we went back to Java and there was no news with my adoptive brother's family. Until I was 18, Momuk and Dad never allowed me to be close to other men because of this matchmaking. The promise that 2 families have made without me knowing what it is. But I also never broke my parents' rules.

But somehow my fault where, when I work in a store I get a bad deed from my own close friend who was frustrated at that time because of the break up of his girlfriend. I had such a hard ordeal that my parents were frustrated as well.

I don't want to marry him because there was a baby I had at that time. My parents were angry because of the news, but inevitably they finally mengikhlaskan me with her married. It's bigger than my stomach, but I don't have a husband. But everything wasn't as sweet as my old friendship that was always good to me. After marriage his nature changed 180°. He's the one who always comes home at night and doesn't pay attention to my womb. Until that time I cried because I just wanted to eat the food I didn't want to buy. Boro-boro bought sometimes he also did not return to our container. Even though I am not working and just want to buy something can not. And either he sleeps where I was often alone in that time frame. It was our choice to contract a small house near our work so that it was easy for us to leave for work before I finally decided to leave because I was tired. I feel alone and no one is looking after me and noticing me. Until finally I was asked to go home to my parents because the age of the womb has been 9 months afraid of sudden birth. That's a parent who can't bear to see his son struggling alone let alone I'm an only child whose mother raised 19 years ago until I was this big.

My request is that when I was at my parents' house I asked my husband to come home often so that my parents no one would suspect our husband and wife relationship. But which mother's heart can be lied to because my mother always knows what I feel, just shut up and watch not want to ask me directly.

Because I used to be just a high school graduate so I could only work in the store couldn't be more. Likewise my husband is also just a shop worker who every month gives a ration of pregnant milk a quarter of his salary. I know a quarter because I used to ask for his salary when it was forbidden from our boss. It was a very sad meeting that I miss right now. The attention he used to give me as a friend. But after we got married it all vanished without a trace of a single ink.

Finally my request came true, a miracle of nature. Because the day I came home from the midwife there was also my in-laws who came to apologize to my parents. My in-laws cried because it turned out that her son had already impregnated his lover before me. Like being electrocuted, I who ran out of the body immediately got news like that. I wanted to cry a lot, but I was afraid my father was angry because of this news. The reddened look of anger was clearly visible on my father's face. He who did not find my husband in this house also looks a flash of emotion.

",The man be.jat", said my father.

I know it's because I struggled to give birth to her child but she was already living with her ex happily. And at that time my father asked me to be immediately in a new divorce Daddy would forgive their family's actions. The threat to his parents was true because 2 days after the arrival of my in-laws I got a divorce warrant from his son. No one dared to come to our house. Only the letter came with their man. After I got my autograph finally process by process I then until finally the judge declared us separate. Lost hope of living a household with love for each other. There's what I hate about men. For more than a year, I did not want to try to open my heart to any man.

It's hard to raise my son without a father. But I still have my father and mother helping us. Not a little less love for him. But because the father who stepped on the age of not young anymore, finally he could not be more expensive just to provide for the needs of our family. There are 3 people he must feed every day, not to mention life in the village that requires us to interact well with the surrounding community. If there is a condition we must come, and for people who are sick we also visit it.

All of this is just for our extended family. Where the responsibility actually should have been I shouldered but not yet, at this time because I can not do that. Until one night I dreamed that Dad was sick because he was too tired of his mind and energy. Actually my son even though it has been over a year but he has been I connect formula milk where I can work and replace it as the backbone of the family. So that father and mother will just take care of my son.

But that's all I can't do completely. Because the shopkeeper's salary can't pay me to cover everything. So I sometimes still see my father working hard until the afternoon when I come home from work not to find him at home. I who wanted to make my father too sick finally thought about what I would do to meet our needs. In exchange for me who will work as much as possible to get more wages.