The Honeymoon

05. A new beginning

Reza POVs

After this wedding party is over, my thoughts are only one, I want to leave immediately, be alone. My mind was in a frenzy, and my chest felt very tight, as if what I was breathing was stone instead of fresh air.

How not to get upset, the person I love just dumped me. It was in vain that I had struggled all this time to convince my mother and father, that you were willing to be a good daughter-in-law, that you would leave your model world and become queen in my palace. I feel not appreciated at all.

I didn't expect, if my love was sincere, my pride was meaningless in your eyes. How cunning you are, giving a crushing blow on our wedding day. If not love, if not want, why not from the beginning you say.

Why ? Wh why?

What wrong?

Thousands of questions ran through my mind, and you easily disabled your phone number. Letting me here be overwhelmed with prejudice and despair.

Having so far lived, easily, well, you easily forget our love. I have the dignity of being a man, if you're not willing I can find another woman. But, it's not like this Charlote. Love is not that easy to come and go.

Charlote was the only name I didn't want to hear and see. Just remembering her name makes me feel paralyzed.

"Honey, mama has prepared our villa in Bali, Mr. Nengah and his wife who takes care of the villa, has mama contact to prepare all your needs there later" said mama disperse my daydream.

Apparently, some time has passed by just sitting on this balcony. I saw my watch showed at six in the afternoon.

" Mah, Reza wants to go alone" I said with certainty.

" No Reza, look at you, it's been like a lost consciousness.Mama was afraid something happened to you. Let Yanti come with you, baby. There maybe he can accompany you, let alone he's a good boy. Mama believes in Yanti, she can take good care of you." mama insisted that I bring Yanti.

Although she was my legal wife in this sudden marriage, I felt guilty if I had to force her to bear the consequences of that person's guilt. I don't want to get him into my trouble.

"Just like Yanti has to come with you, Reza" Mama insisted.

It seems that Yanti also hastily prepared for this departure. I can't blame her for this sudden incident. Sorry Yan.

"It's already mas" he said while carrying his bag.

"Dear Reza, don't linger long in grief, remember, mom and daddy love you Reza" mom hugged me with glassy eyes.

Mama, I'm sorry Reza ma, Reza is in a state of turmoil right now. I hugged her back in silence, harboring a faint feeling of my heart.

Mr. Parman stuffed our suitcases into the car and headed for the airport. I don't want to talk much, I just want to be alone and calm down right now.

The world looked like ash, everything just passed by, without me realizing I was already at our private Villa in Bali.

The deg! ah I remember spending a wonderful day with Charlote here. His shadow ran away with thick hair dangling after his body.

Whoossh...

The sea breeze blew against my consciousness and the beautiful shadow was swept away into dust. Your shadow is still tormenting me in various places as if not enough to give me deep pain.

My dream's. Building a beautiful life with you. My dreams are broken, broken.

I staggered. I don't know where this body is taking me.

Unbeknownst to me, on the verge of mental and mental exhaustion I found myself asleep in the rooftop gazebo.

"No Charl don't go, don't go... Ahhh... Don't go.." I woke up from a nightmare, a nightmare of losing him that haunted me in the middle of the night.

****! Should in a dream you continue to torment me.

The sound of the waves in the distance made me aware. The moon that was shining that night made the view look very beautiful. But I did not enjoy the sight, my heart wandered in silence.

I rarely smoke but this time I feel claustrophobic and need an impingement. I turn it on and I suck it in, I hope the shadow of him will fly with the puff of cigarette smoke that I exhale. I couldn't sleep that night.

I don't know how many packs of cigarettes I spent, when I looked for the item again, I did not find any items.

"mas... Mas Reza's.."A female voice called my name, awakening me.

Aah, yes I'm with Yanti here. I'm getting off Rooftop.

"Mass?" Yanti opened her mouth but immediately closed it back.

"Hmm" I said as I headed to the kitchen.

Yanti followed me into the kitchen.

I sat in the kitchen ice and Yanti immediately served breakfast and drinks without saying much.

I heard a knock from outside.

I went out of the room, I saw Yanti standing in front of the room.

"Hmm" I'm lazy to talk.

"sorry. Yanti was just worried" he said while looking down.

Ah, Yanti, sorry you have to be stuck here with me. All right, I'm on the porch so you don't worry.

Then I spent my time on the porch. Smoking again. I felt like I wanted to take a sip of the ill-gotten drink so I could forget a little, maybe I could sleep in peace, or maybe just die instead of being tormented like this.

Without me realizing my hand had already gulped down a bit of the illicit drink stored in the Villa. I don't know what I drink, it makes my body not care. I am not a drunk, and not used to drinking, the drink is only for foreign investors papa who may visit Bali.

I no longer realize the concept of time. The world is no longer in color.

Yanti is still here, regularly taking care of my food. Maybe if without you I would have starved to death. Yes die of heartbreak and hunger, I think I'd rather die. Then the shadows of mom and dad brought me back to life. It is like torment that comes and goes continuously.

"Yan, if you want to go to the beach just go"

I'm staring. Poor you Yanti.

"No, Yanti is here" he said.

Are you too stupid Yanti, stuck here with a heartbroken man like me. Whatever.

"Yes" I said short.

My mind and heart are getting messed up plus my body is not getting enough sleep. Between sleeping and not, between nightmares that make me restless all night.

Mama and papa's shadow came back.

"We love you Reza, we love you dear"

Aah, papa's mom. Maybe I should get up to the person who sincerely loves me my consciousness is starting to recover a little.

"Yan, make a warm tea "I cried to Yanti who was watching tv in the living room.

"Yes" he said.

I don't know, it looks like it took him a while to just prepare some tea. Ah, maybe because you are not familiar with the kitchen of this villa.

"This is the tea" he said, then hurried away.

I feel really fucked. I inhaled and immediately I regained. The warmth of the tea began to fill my hull. I took a deep breath and exhaled again.

I can get out of this, I can.

I felt the warmth coming from inside my body. Slowly but slowly began to turn on my cold body. However, wait, this warmth is like I can't control. Slowly but surely and moving wildly. My heart rate increased and my breathing began to go up and down. The warmth was stirring up my passion.

Aah, is this the accumulation of fatigue and stress that I feel. I step foot into the house.

"Yan, .. Why is my body "I said, my eyes began to fog.

"Mas ... I'm sick.." His hand rubbed my forehead.

I felt like I was hit by electricity, Yanti's touch was delicious and I wanted that touch again. Touch me Yanti, touch me back.

I put my hand on his face. Blood started flowing to the bottom of my body. What's wrong with me, I react by just touching Yanti's face, I open my hands with her soft pink lips.

Yanti, why are you so cute and innocent, you have never kissed, I will teach you to kiss Yanti.

Somehow, like a fidelity, I forced her to accept my deep kiss, a kiss full of burning desire.

The warmth really possessed me. I can't hold back anymore. Uhhh.

"Yan, I want you".my whisper in his ear.

I took Yanti in a napkin to my room, and that night exposed my soul's emotions to her until I got let go and felt comfortable to sleep after so many days of exhausting amnesia.

I'm sorry Yanti. Ii'm sorry.