The Desired Substitute

A FEELING

"This is your umi notebook. Since you became pregnant, all her activities and complaints have been poured into this book." Risma handed a book to Raya.

Received the book with trembling hands. He did not dare to open it. His hand rubbed the black-covered book with Arini's writing.

Risma then took out a box, then opened it. Removing the contents turned out to be a gold necklace with a heart-shaped pendulum. The pendulum was rubbed, then gave it to Raya.

"Is this Mah?" tanya Raya after receiving the necklace.

"That's your umi necklace. Try to open the band."

Raya then obeyed Risma's orders by opening the pendulum necklace in her hands. It turns out that in the pendulum there is a photo of a hijab woman holding a beautiful baby who is laughing showing her teeth that have just grown two fruits in front.

The Mata Raya condensed. He looked at his in-laws. Risma knows what Raya wants to ask.

"That's a photo of Arini, and the one he was carrying was you when he was eight months old" Risma said later.

He looked at the photo. The longer his gaze increasingly blurred because of the amount of water that pooled in his eye fertilizers. Raya brought the pendulum before her lips to give a long kiss, along with the closed eyes, then fell the tears that had been maintained so as not to fall.

His chest was so tight, it was as if there was an invisible hand squeezing it firmly. So painful that his sobbing so that he could not let out so that it stuck in his chest and throat and it made him more tight and poignant.

Risma grabbed her trembling daughter-in-law's shoulders. He carried the tiny body into his arms. They both shed their sadness in crying for a long time.

Raya really regretted why in the past when he was still often invited to the tomb that read Arini Galuh, he did not ask deeper and tried to know. He just asked who it was and Mira answered with the word she was a great woman. However, after getting an answer from Mira, Raya seemed to not care anymore and did not ask any further.

Though the activity of visiting the tomb lasted until he sat on the bench of Junior High School. However, when entering Mira and Budi High School never brought him back to the tomb.

The reason was that April already knew that Raya was not the biological child of Mira and Budi, so she often mocked Raya that she was an illegitimate child, a child who did not know herself.

Since then, he has been very ill and had to be treated for two weeks in the hospital. This made Mira and Budi never again bring Raya to visit Arini's tomb.

April also returned to be good to Raya after getting a bluff from Budi. Maybe since then, April has become very hateful to Raya.

"I'm stupid, why is something like this missed? Though at that time both Mother and Father like to signal for me to ask further about Umi," regretted Raya in heart.

***

Juna came home early. At 5pm he arrived home. He went straight to the room because he did not see the existence of Raya everywhere.

When opening the room door, Juna immediately saw Raya who was curled up on the mattress. Approach slowly to make sure the wife is sleeping. Smack that smooth forehead at a glance and put his briefcase on the table. Then he went to the bathroom to refresh himself after a day of activity that was enough to make his mind and body tired.

After bathing, Juna still found Raya who was still in the same position as when she had just returned home earlier. Juna went up to the bed and lay behind Raya. Get rid of the hair that covers his wife's pretty face with his big, cold hands from taking a shower.

Raya squirmed as she felt a soft and cold touch on her cheek. She opened her eyes and found her husband smiling at her. The distance of their faces was so close that it made the heart of Kingdom beat rapidly as if it wanted to jump from its place.

"Mas."

Raya's hoarse voice from waking up, made the other side of Juna wake up.

"Hem." Juna could only answer by muttering.

Raya put the diary book on the nightstand. Then he immediately hugged Juna tightly, as if he would be left behind by Juna for a long time. Not only hugging Juna tightly, Raya also cried, proven Juna felt his wife's body tremble because of sobs.

"Ssttts. What's up?" ask Juna. Although confused by Raya's behavior this afternoon, Juna remained calm and tried to calm his wife by stroking her back.

Juna unraveled his embrace, cupping Raya's face that looked damp with a flushed nose. Juna helps Raya wipe away the tears that run down her cheeks.

She tried to stop her crying. After succeeding, then he grasped the necklace pendulum that had been coiled around his neck. Sigh for a moment and then exhale slowly.

"Mas Juna knows about me?" he asked by looking into Juna's eyes.

Juna's forehead looked wrinkled, a sign that he did not understand Raya's question.

"Am I not father and mother's son?" sobung Raya later.

"Ehem." Juna cleared his throat to start making a sound. "Yes," he answered briefly while nodding.

"What do you think about Mas Juna? Give me a reason why Mas Juna has stayed this long."

"What's the reason I should leave you?" Juna asked Raya.

Raya. "Is Mas Juna not ashamed to have a wife like me?"

"Why should you be ashamed?"

"I'm a child outside of marriage. I don't even know who my real father is" Raya said bowed.

Juna lifted the chins of the Kingdom so that the two of their neutrals met.

"Listen, all children born in the world are holy, regardless of how they are produced whether in bondage or outside legitimate bonding. The sinner is the behavior of his parents."

"Can sins be forgiven?" tanya Raya again.

"We as human beings will not know whether our sins are forgiven or not by God. We can only try to repent. And what I heard, Umi had repented that she had truly repented. God willing, Umi has the best place on his side."

The tears that were almost drying out were wet again.

"Is it because Mas Juna feels sorry for me that Mas Juna maintains this marriage?" tanya Raya with a pounding heart.

Juna shook his head and held the head of Raya in his chest.

"Because from the beginning Mas has chosen you" he said softly.

Raya was dissatisfied with the answer Juna gave. However, at least he can be a little relieved because Juan maintains his marriage. So that he does not have to worry or be afraid to live alone.

Indeed, Mira and Budi of course are still considered as parents, but when it comes to the fact that he is not their biological child, there is a bit of a sense of caution in case they leave him alone.

He actually felt comfortable near Juna. However, he still doubts that the comfortable feeling is a feeling of love. He still needs to make sure.

"Ah for now, I don't have to worry about Mas Juna leaving me. After all, this marriage only lasted a few months, while at the beginning of marriage, we agreed to undergo marriage for one year," Raya murmured in her heart.

Raya hopes that before her marriage reaches the age of one year, she can already meet her biological father.

TB

Sorry for the update very late afternoon, from the morning there is an event and only finished this afternoon.

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