Substitute Woman

Forcing Entry

Falling in love is so beautiful. It is hard to express in words. Although I often see women crying out of love, getting hurt and ending up frustrated. Cause it's hard to get up and move on from all that.

Just like I've moved on from the past. The difference is not about love. I don't know what his name is, it's about promises.

From all the stories of my friend and best friend, Novi. I can conclude that loving someone is not too deep. If he's serious please if not yes we've been looking again. I also do not want to drag on in sadness just because of love.

What sadness have I been experiencing?

Not love! Loyalty to a friend is also a matter of promise.

A promise is like a debt to be paid. That's why I wait until someone who says a promise to me keeps it, won't even hesitate to charge it.

Love can make people go crazy. As I feel right now. Might as well.

Smiling to himself while hugging the cow doll that someone had just bought.

You guys know who he is?

I didn't expect myself to be reunited with the person I had been looking for.

He has shifted my world until he forgets if there is ....

“Mey, Papa noticed from earlier his own smiles. What's up?” The sound of Papa standing beside the bed.

Since when did Papa come into my room?

“Until I didn't realize anyone was going into my room. You in love?”

Papa sat next to me and stroked my back. I hugged him tightly. Taking off the deep longing that I should have been doing since. Since Papa hasn't come home yet, I went to the cow doll's room.

“Pa, I miss deh.”

“Sama Papa too, but really in the cuekin earlier. Who makes this Papa boy happy?”

I looked up, then smiled and showed a stuffed cow. Papa sighed and looked towards the stored doll closet.

“Besok tell your girlfriend to buy you a cow pen yes.”

I laugh. Papa this is all-in. All the dolls I have are cow shaped. I do love stuffed cows, I don't know why it feels funny and shiny.

“I don't have a boyfriend. Did Papa ever hear of my heartbreak?”

Papa smiled and pinched my nose. “Because you can't move on from Tomy.”

My eyes were round, how did Papa know about all my feelings?

Ah, Novi must be the bucket. It could also be Dion who is tired of chasing you prefer Papa's decetin so that he can immediately get blessing.

“Papa know because the time Mbok Marni finish the room, find photos of Tomy as a child,” Papa explained that makes me surprised because I think Papa can read minds.

Maybe it was because I was dumbfounded and wondering through the gaze, so Papa knew what I wanted to ask.

Apparently Mbok Marni is the bucket. It's no secret that I'm waiting for him. Even his people know how I've been without him all this time.

Is that sad for me?

“Yes, I just want to see him continue__”

“Keep in love when you meet, right?” Papa laughed satisfied.

It was in Papa's ledekin ... Delightful. Papa can sometimes be like a friend and sometimes wise as a parent. That's why I'm grateful to have a Papa like this.

“Ih, Papa know where you are from? You know so much!” I'm thieving. Papa's words may have a point, but I don't know either.

“If it wasn't Tomy who bought the cow, who else?”

“Kok Papa knows? Have you met?”

Papa sighed again, then rattled the top of the head.

“Already one month ago, He came to the office and told me everything.” The happy face now looks sad.

It was different when I went to mom's grave. Not as sad as losing Tomy. Because I didn't see my mother's face at the time. I was a kid and I don't know what it's like to lose.

Papa has lost a friend who is also his work partner. Brother Tomy left without news because an accident hit him on the way out of town. The car he was riding in was a blong brake.

Several survivors, including Brother Tomy, his mother and his future sister. Brother Tomy's father died on his way to the hospital. His mother was treated for injuries. Lucky the baby in the bladder survived. Not with dad, their backbone.

There was no news that Papa heard at the time. Papa just thought they forgot all Papa's services. Tomy's father used to work with Papa. Then moved out of town, his hometown because he had to take care of Kak Tomy's grandmother who was none other than Mother of Kak Tomy's Father.

“Papa is useless as a friend.” Papa blames himself.

“Pah, all is destiny. We do not know when death will come. It's not Papa's fault. Pray that the late father of Gunawan is calm there.”

I hugged Papa tightly. Provides tranquility. This time I saw the tears coming back. If it used to be Mama, now it's Gunawan's dad.

“There is still me and Brother Tomy, Papa don't be sad ya.”

Papa took off his embrace and wiped the corner of his eye.

“Tomy lost her phone and our contact. Her mother was traumatized and did not want to go anywhere. Back to the house we didn't want, Mey.”

“But earlier said Brother Tomy, he does not know our current home.”

Papa nodded. “She came to the office, still back and forth Jakarta-Purworejo.”

“Continue living where now?”

“Old house. His mother was persuaded yesterday because Tomy has a job here.”

“Our old house how are you, Pah?”

Since the departure of Brother Tomy, Papa chose to move house. So that I can forget Tomy and Papa don't drag on in grief. The house that used to hold a lot of memories is also about Mama.

“You want to move there again?”

“No, it's just. I'm comfortable here.”

I might ask Papa to come back to that house. Even though Papa is empty, he always asks Mbok Marni to clean it as usual. Papa doesn't want to sell the house. The house that Papa built from scratch.

“Kok Papa did not say that Kak Tomy came?”

“Papa must keep a secret. When do you want to get married?”

Suddenly my heart was gone and my breath disappeared.

“Papa want to mate you with Tomy. Let's not worry anymore.”

Laughter is heard. I'm happy to see Papa smiling again. I still don't think I'm going to marry Brother Tomy. Moreover I don't know how he is now. Have a boyfriend or not.

Just talking about the past on the way. Yes, the driver who picked it up was Brother Tomy. While crying earlier, the fear made him confess who he really was.

Shitty right?

At first it was because he kept quiet. He said he didn't know what to say. Actually miss and want to hug. But I was afraid that I would get angry and forget.

It turns out all his assumptions were wrong. The thing that embarrassed me the most was eating chocolate. If I never liked chocolate, now I really like it.

“You changed a lot huh, Mey?” Questions that embarrass me, of course.

Crying while enjoying chocolate because of his childhood memories. I swear I want to go and wear a mask when I meet. I'm sure he laughed when he remembered the incident.

Although I have met again with Brother Tomy, the story is still long. Somehow the continuation of my relationship with Brother Tomy.

The hope of living life with him is there. However, after a long wait maybe that hope is a little lost. I don't want to be too hopeful if I get hurt in the end.

Because I don't want to be a slave to love.

To be continue ...