Substitute Priest For Chayra

Fragile

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Alif and Chayra were crying. Both of them were equally crushed and sunk into the mourning trough.

"Take me off, Mom! Leave me! I want to be alone --" she asked in a vibrating tone of voice.

"But, Yang--"

"I beg-" With a heavy heart, Alif complied with Chayra's request. He broke his arms and tried to wipe away the tears on his wife's face. But Chayra dodged it by turning her face.

"Mas, this reality hurts me a lot. You know, I can't share love let alone share a husband. It should have been from the beginning, you were telling the truth. You confessed to oma, that you already had a wife. Surely oma will understand and not ask you to become a substitute priest. I've put a lot of hope in you. I'm too confident, I can hold a mawadah with you. But what I got now, disappointment and pain. The pain of Damar's betrayal is nothing compared to the pain I feel right now. How can I believe there is no love between you and Elmira after a year of living together? How can I believe you've never touched him? Leave me, Mas! I want to be alone --" he said softly. Emphasis-filled, though. He dropped the call of love and went back to calling Alif 'Mas'.

"That -"

"If Mas Alif doesn't want to go, I'll go --"

"Alright if that's what you want right now. Alif will be leaving. Oath to Allah, only you love. You're the only one who watered the seeds. Mas Alif never touched Elmira, even though we lived together for a year --" Alif moved from a sitting position and then stepped up with a pontai. It was heavy to leave the beloved woman in a state of disintegration. But Alif understood, Chayra needed time to calm down and accept the reality. The scratches of fate written in His book cannot be changed. As a servant, Alif and Chayra could only accept with sincerity.

Right now all Alif can do is plead with God, hopefully his household with Chayra will not end here.

After Alif left, Chayra again shed tears and hit her chest that felt very painful. His body decays as more and more mourning water flows from the clear well.

"Yes Robb, the sin of the servant is too great, that you may give this much punishment --"

Chayra's cry subsided as dusk began to greet. With remnants of rigidity, he tried to rise.

Chayra. He passed away from in front of Alif and entered the next room.

Take the water of ablution to clear the mind and calm the mind. After ablution, Chayra spread out the prayer rug and closed the aurat with mucena.

Three prayers maghrib he prayed alone without Alif who some days has always been a priest. After saying two greetings, Chayra recited and complained to the Divine about lara who was whining.

Last night, Chayra shut herself up in the room. He paid no heed to the knocking of the door and the sound of Alif seducing him to eat. From the day until the time machine pointed at the number twelve night, Chayra did not fill her stomach with anything at all.

The excruciating pain dims the spirit of life, until he is reluctant to do anything. From now on, Chayra just sat on the prayer mat and shed tears.

In one third of the night, Chayra prayed istikharah, asking the divine for guidance to determine his steps. Separate with Alif or keep maintaining his household which is now fragile.

Like the ark, the ark he built with Alif has now been cracked. There are only two choices. Surrender and drown. Or stay afloat and sail all the way to the eternal wharf.

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