Singing Lady Bird
Chapter 19
It just continued for a while to look at me. Fulham's eyes, for example, are deep in the gem, or in the clear darkness at the bottom of the water, perhaps at the end of the night sky. Iris wondered if she could forgive him if he threw his face away and denied, and in her heart the answer came quickly. I'm trapped inside him. I'll be sucked.
If so, Iris has one answer. Don't move a step from there. I didn't move forward and I didn't look away. If you don't call your name, your eyes won't close. Stop the time and freeze your heart.
The variety of love words should be easy for him, but his words don't go around in circles anymore. I know I'm reaching out. You can be relieved if hugged. But what's ahead? Iris knows. There's harm.
Fulham's eyes slowly narrowed. It was a cat's eye. What I saw was a strange sadness.
"When you say love, you cry. Now you know that love is not happiness for you."
He slowly left. Her weight seemed to have diminished even though she had never touched it, and Iris woke up in a daze. With one foot on the bed, he looked into her eyes and smiled gently.
He smiled even at times like that.
"I feel like I understand my mother's feelings."
"Mom?" Iris asked, and for a moment she was confused when she saw the edge of the bed. I don't know if he'll think of it as sarcasm or pocket money. Iris refused. Fulham's eye movements made him choose to sit there. It was a bitter smile.
"I've never heard of your family."
"I'm not talking. We're like that, right?"
The table of the three gathered people appeared in the minds.
Our group is warm, chatty, and laughable which is not a family member.
"Can you talk to me?"
"This is a story that's everywhere."
"I want to hear" That was a compromise for Iris.
"I can only do that."
You'd think she was a brilliant woman. But that's the part that can be compromised. If you can take the attitude that you do not hate it, accept any criticism. It doesn't matter if you think that a comfortable woman is insolent. Fulham opened his mouth as he prepared.
"My parents had a loveless marriage, but my father was the only one who had no love. My father wanted a son, so me and my brother were caressed unconditionally, but my mother did not. My mother loved my father, but he made a lot of savings and my mother died of illness."
The voice that says "I'm lonely" becomes silent. Fulham did not say anything, but it is well understood that he loves what he has lost.
"Is your mother not strong?"
"You can't forgive your father."
"How's it?" He sighed. "I feel like I can forgive him now. He must have something to think about. I don't think he's gonna be the same."
Iris knows the answer.
"Maybe I'm afraid."
Fulham had a surprising look.
"fear?"
"Yes, I'm scared."
Iris looked at her fused hands. From here, a lot of things spilled.
How frightening is the hand of God to take what he loves unexpectedly.
"You may think you love but don't love, and you know that feeling, but I think your father couldn't see the loss of his beloved wife. You two brothers. Whahuh? My mother must have been weak, so I thought it was scary when she approached me. But I'm lonely, because I went to another woman."
Fulham looked down with a suspicious and embarrassed look. He might not know. But I do understand. I don't think I could lose this guy.
"When you meet your father, ask. Do you love your wife? Maybe you didn't ask?"
I thought he was an awkward person, nodding slowly. He is deft, calm, and seemingly capable, and sometimes he suddenly shows what he is not good at.
However, he looked and said Iris, which was calming.
"You're scared too."
Iris grasped the mattress gently. I stroked it with my palm and turned my gaze down.
"But I still feel like I understand my mother's feelings. I have a different feeling than I said before."
He called out his name, and when he raised his face, he said the word straight.
"Iris-don't hesitate, don't be afraid. I love you."
