Should I Leave you?

Episode 2

After this incident, we became people who did not know each other. I don't know why he's staying away from me. Is it because I didn't accept her invitation to get married? Or did he want to get married? Or maybe because there are other women? Let's not know. To this day, I know I am still waiting for him.

Two weeks after that incident, I really did not focus on working and doing other activities. If only he could understand my situation and could accept my answer and could wait patiently, we would surely we would be like this.

Eight months after that, I'm fine now. I don't care about it anymore. And even the WhatsApp number I blocked and I deleted it. And now it's time to go back and open my heart to another man. Even though the reality is still difficult to accept new people again. And it feels good to start everything from the beginning. Acquaintance - pdkt - dating - break up. A very boring process.

And on the other hand, I'm still traumatized by all of this. I who have failed several times in love, is it possible to succeed in this? I don't know either. Is this one of God's ways to process me? Or is this karma for me? If this is karma, what is karma? I never hurt anyone, especially when it comes to love. So what do I accept now? Ah, I'm really tired of all this.

After successfully passing the process to move on, in my dream he came. What does all this mean for God? Why do you still bring it into my dreams several times? Even two weeks in a row. What does this mean, all God? Did You separate us only temporarily to test our loyalty? Or is this a goodbye forever? But if it is true only for a while, I beg You, unite us back to God. I love him so much and I don't know what God would do if there wasn't him. Empty feel.

My friends and friends also introduced me to their friends and friends. But I'm afraid that this unwanted introductions are traumatizing me even more. I don't want my trauma to deepen. And so I decided to reject it even if it was just an introduction. With this decision that I made, my friends and friends became upset because they thought that all men were the same and even we had a fight just because of this

"Bi, please open your heart a little. Not all men are like him, Bi. Let's just say at that time you were still unlucky. And for this time you have to be able to convince yourself that you will be lucky, Bi" said Zefa my friend

"real Bi. We don't want you to be like this constantly Bi. And we're sure you don't want this trauma to last too long either." said Cia

"We're sad to see you're sad, Bi. We just want you to be happy again like Bi." said Aleshya

I really can't bear to see their struggle that makes me to return cheerful as before. I also miss my old self, who is cheerful and happy. And I try to accept those introductions to see them happy. But I also have to install horses to prepare myself who knows this time the same as it used to be. And this time I didn't expect much of him so that I wouldn't feel the pain that I felt yesterday.

"Yes yes, I would like to introduce you to your friend. But I don't want to expect too much from him and I won't put my heart on him either." I said

"Yes Bianca, we understand. The important thing is that you want to get to know and be friends with him. Whether it fits or not is your right. We as your friends can only support, pray and give the best for you" said Cia

"that's dong Bi. Smile first dong Bi, where the sweet smile Bianca our friend who used to." said Aleshya

*and I smiled*

"so sweet. let's embrace" said Aleshya

Thanks to my best friend, I'm back to what I was. Without them, maybe I'll find it hard to come back as cheerful as before