Satan, Holy, Human
Chapter 5: Laughing at the Funny of Life
BEFORE the sun managed to reveal itself clearly, when the sky was still
dark blue although not too dark, some people have started
his own activities, including my own. I'll be right away from
dad's deck, also my fiber acquaintance friends (who are still expressionless) in the
homehouse. Beware without anyone answering, to immediately return to the real world,
to friends who have souls, go back to school and
talking for real.
New day, new spirit.
You can do this, Gib. Comeing! my mind is encouraging itself.
Unlike yesterday, an online motorcycle taxi was willing to drive me to
schools are easier to find. In fact, it wasn't until 10 seconds I ordered, already
it was received by the driver without being canceled again a minute later.
Wait... am I seriously going to order ojek? Meet a stranger? What if
I was kidnapped taken to a strange place? Dumped out of nowhere, unable to attend school?
What if it's a trap, I get robbed, then left alone?
What if I'm held captive, then left in the woods again?
What if the motor is broken, then broke down, even screwed and hit?
What if…
“Ssssuuuu,” I took a deep breath, trying to calm down
a heart that begins to beat rapidly, along with a stimulating sense of panic
whole body. Luckily, this time the cold morning air was a little friendly
and help me clear the entire respiratory tract. No need for auxiliary equipment, though,
breathing can return to normal. “Haaaah!” embusku later.
No need for debate no longer matters. Relax, relax. Must calm.
No need to be paranoid, everything is in good shape. This
not an amazing thing, is it? I've done this many times, even
I went home safe last night. Although of course he was scolded, yelled at, but,
or whatever it is, because it goes wet until it has to sit in the section
doors only.
No problem, no problem.
Everything is fine, my mind is calming.
My breath slowly calmed down, more restrained, my hands were not
trembling again, my vision was clear again, not blurred anymore. Everything slowly
in control, until the online object suddenly came and appeared in front
eye. I panicked back to look at this stranger, feeling all futile
the warming I was doing. I got anxious, panicked, back
trembling, back in fear.
“Oject, deck? To SMA Puji Hope, yes?” ask the driver who started
lifting the glass of his helmet, speaking in a light tone, with a
tranquilize. From behind his helmet, looks like a middle-aged man who might
40 Years old, with a dark brown skin color, mustache and black beard and
a little bit of ash accent, do not forget the warm smile.
See, right? He doesn't look dangerous at all. Endeavour
tranquilize.
Relax, Rajib. Just chill.
There are no bears here, no danger at all.
Trying to calm down, I returned his smile, trying to answer
amiability. Then I walked slowly a little shivering, no longer
have the option to run away or cancel. Finally, I sat down too
over the motorcycle seat, but with a position far enough to touch the stirrup
the back motor. Reluctant to hug or hold the driver's jacket,
hope you don't get thrown, fall, or anything else.
Am I gonna be okay?
What about cell phones?
Can I call someone if something happens?
Before I could start the questions and debate again about the scene
rescue, the driver has first stuck the gas forward. Lucky, lucky,
not at a worrying pace until I lose my balance. Quietest
just relax, I said, believing in myself again.
My phone is in my grasp, ready to call anyone to
request assistance. Hopefully, everything changes unlike yesterday,
at least one person will pick up my phone.
Or is it actually necessary?
Honestly, it looks like I could quite enjoy the trip this morning (if I
get rid of the fact that the driver is a stranger). This trip is good
relax, I can comfort myself looking around, watching people
busy with their own business. I can feel a little calm, though,
not like last night when I was completely alone. On the motor
this, I shouldn't have been approached suspiciously, right?
There is no need to worry anymore, apart from other riders who
hit, or from the driver of this motorbike itself is careless. Ohhh,
no!?
Suddenly, my heart stopped beating again. I started to remember
all the possibilities that this driver of mine could do, my mind started to fantasize
against scenarios that have not yet happened, it may happen, even
definitely happen?
About all the evils, about all the dangers I could
think of.
My hands are shaking violently. Then it travels to the body, travels to the head, and,
both eyes, the view was blurred. A bond that cannot
released, the respiratory tract also becomes narrow making tightness unable to
breathed. I opened my mouth trying to get something out, but there was a sound
nothing comes out through this hot throat.
Stiffness.. Please! Can't breathe!
Where's the breath aid?
Unfortunately, the breathing apparatus (foolly) I kept buried again
inside the actual bag there was no contents at all. Despite that, though,
since it remains difficult to achieve, I can only regret it with all the actions
without the sense I do.
Not wanting to die quickly, I tried to catch my breath slowly,
thinly, calmly. “P-pak, ap-whether ki-us.
first?” I looked up, aware that my breath was not producing the results I had
wanted.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm sorry to be so presumptuous, but I'm asphyxiated.
Please forgive me, please forgive me, my prayer in heart, prepare for the response of the driver who
will be angry and furious at being bullied, like my foster mother at that time
in the kitchen, before throwing and leaving me alone in the woods.
But, I really need to stop.
I still want to live, but before I had to breathe normally
in advance.
…Unfortunately, there was no sign the driver would turn to
back, trying to answer anything I say. I'm a little
worried, was this better than my adoptive mother's furious response to her face
the red?
I mean, I'm gonna die on this bike?
Or better to get a clash and fury from a demon god?
Uh…? my shock at
the driver.
I thought, this driver didn't answer my request. I thought, I thought,
he was busy with the sound of the boisterous wind hitting his helmet, the sound of the engine from
the vehicle was full around him, also honking in some places on
certain moment.
Why are we stopping? There's no way the driver's been following my request,
don't you?
Was I really kidnapped? Is it true this driver drove me to
weird place? What the hell is going on?
“Please, brother. Already arrived,” exclaimed the driver cheerfully then.
Along with his warm smile, this old man looked back with
the helmet glass lifted. The motor was then standardized, I was helped to get down, I,
to sit down and kneel on the ground, with the motor stirrup I held
as buffer.
“WHAT'S UP, DIK? WH-IS IS SISTER OKAY? THERE ARE THOSE THAT I CAN
HELP!?” panic of the driver's father.
I didn't respond to it, except to focus on picking up the bag and reaching out
deep-in location of the breath aid. After that, I inhaled a breath
the long pull, cold air also makes each respiratory tract expand,
instantly everything returned to normal.
No. gabe. My body condition is not all back to normal. My hand which
holding the motor stirrup is still shaking, my hand is still feeling the presence
a stranger in front of me.
“Ti-it's okay. Th-thank you, sir!” I answered then while getting up
and retreated away from the old man, giving a gesture of repulsion
against his help.
“Alright then. I panicked, just now. Swahahaha!” driver's laughter
loud, trying to cool the hot atmosphere that just happened. “All right
then. payment is through the application, right? I say goodbye first, yes,”
he said later while he stuck gas on his motorbike and waved away.
Realizing that the threat was gone, I who was still feeling anxious began
turn around and walk away to the front of the school gate. Passes an
archway with the inscription ‘Upper Secondary School Praise Harapan’, with fence
sliding iron that is half open, also concrete walls around give
the real boundaries between school areas and the non-state ones. Then I pulled
deep breathing, trying to reset all feelings and hearts
shaken over everything that just happened.
Calm down. I was already at school. I know everybody
right here. They're my friends, they're all my acquaintances, they're all good. They don't
will hesitate to help, they are all reliable.
No more strangers, no more evil.
Relax, relax, Rajib!
Fuuhhh, blow me
length as a ready body marker. I put on a big smile, starting
glance left-right, looking for what activities I can start or help with
as a sign of the beginning of the day, to fill the energy to soar.
It might help sweep the yard, open the classroom, help the teacher
to bring her luggage, help the canteen seller prepare a meal
morning, or whatever it is that's helpful.
As payment for the protection I received in the school environment,
I have to do something useful, right?
Nothing is given, nothing I can get.
After all, this is one of the very forms of self-occupation
beneficial. As long as I'm busy helping others, not only can I
avoiding the position I would be left alone, I could forget the feeling
anxiety so no longer need to be attacked by panic again.
Or...no?
In fact, even though I was at school, this anxiety and panic remained
can you come and take lives? Without notice, without getting ready, there is
an impromptu attack that I did not expect coming from behind.
“WUAA!” the shock of a woman that practically makes my heart
stop beating. The surprise came as planned, like a surprise
who came inside the gripping ghost house that was deliberately done to
surprised the contestants.
No. gabe.
It's worse than an artificial ghost bullshit. It feels, it feels,
this voice that was released was like an ordinary shouting voice
presented by martial athletes after launching a movement
deadening. Did I just get stabbed? Is my chest now
a hole? I can't feel anything anymore.
no time to scream to express my own shock. I
fall over, fall over a hard cement paving block, directly
huddled up trying to protect myself against anything that had just surprised me
from behind that.
Panicked, my heart pounding, the sweaty water slowly soaking
the body, the hands were shaking, the vision was dark, and the breath was back
congested.
“EH? A YEAST? WH-WHY!? SORRY, SORRY!” the owner of the voice continued with
loud and frantic voice. Actually, I can recognize it right
who is the owner of the voice. It was the voice of one of the people who could
guarantee my protection, the voice of my close friend. But I don't know why I still
it takes time to feel safe again, to feel calm again. I still am
turning a deaf ear to reject the fact that it was my friend, still feeling
that I had fallen back to the brink, and in front of me was now
a ferocious bear that was ready to pounce and prey on me.
Why, why is this happening again?
Excuse me. I-i'm sorry! seruku
sorry for the sound that didn't come out, maybe because it was for yourself
aslo. There is no point if the interlocutor does not hear it
direct. But I'm not doing this consciously. Maybe just one
automatically set response?
Until finally there was a warm hand that touched the skin of my hand,
continued with shoulders while embracing slowly, rocking my body with
a more familiar voice. I started to open my eyes, too,
to see a woman who keeps apologizing, even start
shed tears?
Then, what's going on? Why are there so many people around?
Like they saw a show? What the hell is going on?
The clearer the longer, in front of me was projected a face
round whose eyes water. Is she really crying? With thin lips, though,
adorable cheeks, short black hair that expands in part
behind him, I immediately wanted to laugh and sneer back at the messy hair
like waking up that night.
This is Atma's hair.
After the consciousness had returned, I began to glance more clearly at the
left-right, around, to see many curious people and
show a little worry, try to help (when not
also), who then began to whisper among each of them
disappointed expression.
Definitely a complaint that reads ‘oh is done?’, or ‘I think there is
apa’.
“RABIG? You-you're okay? Wh-why! Pardon me! I-i'm sorry! I don't know
if your illness is relapsing! Pardon me! Forgive me,” exclaimed Atma sobbing
I smiled faintly, choking as if choking, returning a whimper
That adorable atma. “Kkkk! I think who. It turns out Atma, yes. New
wake up? Your hair is still messy, here,” taunted me then while
playing Atma's hair that expands.
Along with that, the spectators slowly left
crime scene. No longer want to be the center of attention and spectacle material,
I also stood up while inviting Atma who was still covered in full sweat
tears. I pull her hand slowly and carefully, I hold her hand
tightly while also wiping his tears that had soaked his uniform.
“Cantin first, yuk!” take me later, which was immediately replied with
a little nod and a little bit of crying.
SIT while
drinking mineral water to quench our thirst, we just kept silent while looking up at the sky
which shows nothing. Because we came a lot earlier
before the first bell tolled, we could sit back and relax without worrying
about the upper class penalty that is passed.
Slowly but surely, Atma's condition improved. I bought the tubers, though,
as if to tell him that everything is fine.
“Kkkk, if you cry again very ugly, Ma,” tease me again trying
to fix this girl's feelings. “Allet alone the face lo cepet really red.
It's like a tomato. Kkkkk,” kekehku without stopping the caress of Atma's head.
“Wh what the hell, lo? Very bad,” ringis Atma still
whiny. “But, I'm so sorry, yeah. I don't know if I'm relapsing again.”
“So. Gapapa? Still can't move on and discuss that
elapsed. I'm fine too, aren't I? It's all done, all right! Just calm!
Kkkkkk.”
“Uf-fufu,” continued Atma chuckled, not forgetting followed by a blow
light on my back as his trademark.
Indeed indeed. This was the second time I panicked
until they are curled up powerless. Maybe the first one when I just got in
this school?
About three years ago, in the 10th grade and first entered High School
(i used to live in class), was when I first lived alone and
abandoned parents, with trauma and new nightmares do not occur
long before that. About the events in the forest, in the days of Junior High, when I and
my father was adrift, just left by my birth mother.
In fifth grade, I lost my birth mother in an accident.
Not only was his son hit, my father was depressed. I don't know where my dad is from
getting advice, we decided to move to a village, away from the
the city where I live. I don't know trying to let go of all the emotions,
calm down, start a new life, I don't know what my father thinks.
And the events in this village—when I was Junior High were all events
bad thing happened to me, which imprints me in the deepest memory. About
sinking, about getting lost, about being deceived, about being a spectacle material,
about disappointment, and the most important thing is about me being dumped in
forest by my foster mother, and about the gripping bear incident.
But that's not what I want to explain right now.
After I was traumatized by loneliness in Junior High School, in fact, when I entered High School
I was instead ordered to live alone by a demonic whisper from my mother
lift me up (with the intention of a hard environment will form a hard person anyway).
Doesn't have option—despite fear of all the foreign things that are in
around— I'm just trying to stay ahead of dad's promise that he said he would
back me.
Although it must be unlocked by events that put lives on edge
the abyss by Atma's surprise was like today, I stayed lucky at school
these. Both his students, the officers, even the canteenagers, they
very warmly welcome to my arrival. With open arms or a hug
giving a sense of security, I began to be able to forget the sense of solitude by busying
with whatever your friends do. Until I finally started to feel
improved, although it took a very long time.
Actually, I'm not afraid of surprises.
Merely, my anxious and panicked condition could always make a breath
suddenly tight. But, I can say that the opening scene of the friendship round
the one Atma opened gave me a lot of opportunities. With its jovial nature and
easy to make friends, always working hard without much complaining (even though with
the curse is always unlucky that accompanies it), Atma's friends become my friends
aslo. I can slowly build connections, to slowly make me not
alone again.
Until finally I can call Atma a friend, especially because
gave me a friend's bail waiting at the end of school time, a friend's bail
which makes me always needed at OSIS, a guarantee that I won't
alone again. That there will be friends who help, friends who wait, who
helping me.
Then, with these assurances, why can't I still panic
breathing startled Atma the second time? Because I abandoned Faisal after
the futsal?
Maybe because I'm back to feeling a sense of absolute solitude?
I was fine on my way home
yesterday's?
I don't know. All I can confirm is that I am in place now
best protection, best shelter. School is a place
for me to chat with friends, and people I know very well
good.
“Soalya you came home yesterday not to say. So, I think I can
jail kagetin as punishment. But, I don't know if the punishment is even kayak
gini. Where are you from, anyway?” cerocos Atma.
“Iya, yes. We usually go home together. Suddenly yesterday.
No rain, no wind, suddenly JELEGER appeared lightning,” I replied confused
shrugging.
“HAH? Did you get lightning yesterday? Do you have any injuries? Whereabouts? Where?”
“Kkkk! That's not it either. Yeah, that means it was so sudden.
Yesterday Faisal suddenly played futsal because of lack of people. I don't either
why-not together Remi in tongkrongan, yasudah follow. Uh yeah, you should
knew! The ball that we used yesterday was a funny pink, you know!
Color girl really. Kkkkk!”
“Ih, I think it's real. Then, why is it if the ball is pink?”
“Not also. It's funny, anyway. Maybe because I rarely see a ball
so?”
“Gak understand. Your habits, Gib. Always make it all funny. Whereas not
something funny at all,” Atma replied while inviting me to help
his family set up one of the kiosks in the school cafeteria. “Eh, please take
that container, dong.”
“This container!? Do you still want to snack early in the morning? Later fat, loh?”
“Whispering ah!”
“Kkkkk! Uh, dong too. I just inget not yet breakfast,” seruku while
take a steamed sponge from a container on the table (and certainly do not forget to pay
thereafter).
But, as I said before, Atma does have a curse
that his life would always be shit. The proof, when Atma brought a container containing
these dozens of steamed balls, the handle that Atma was holding had to come off and make
all the steamed balls fell freely on this dirty floor.
Atma who was staring at her morning meal just disappeared just laughing.
Laughing at himself, laughing at the funny thing about life.
“So. Take care of the others,” invite Atma to immediately tidy up all
the mess he made, forgetting his misfortune as the last wind. Me too
help her, help her family, fill the morning to help with the stall preparation
to be ready to sell merchandise. Not to forget, even on the sidelines of time
chatting with Atma's two little sisters to play around
kiosk, being an additional big brother to them.
\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~
I've heard, healing it's not a way of treatment
But healing is a journey.
Therefore, the trauma that has been present since childhood, there must still be remnants even though it was big.
And it definitely affects life really yeah …
Welcome again, guys!
It turns out that Ragib has a pretty extreme past too huh
Even meeting strangers is like meeting an enemy
Ragib panicked himself, so he could not calm down.
:”)
Btw …
See you next time;)
Wait every week for the new chapter, yes!
