Pursuing the Love of the Mentari

5. Still, About Mentari's Feelings

I did not answer Adam's words, because indeed, I always ran out of words if Adam had asked me to accept Mas Darto.

"Emm, Adam hungry isn't he? We eat first yuk" I told Adam.

"By Ma, Adam is also a laper. Adam wants to eat CFK chicken yes Ma" replied Adam enthusiastically.

"May dong, yes we are there now" I said.

I drove to the nearest CKF chicken shop, it didn't take long, so Adam and I got into the booth and ordered some food.

After my order was ready, I brought a tray of food and drink to the table that Adam had occupied.

"Please prince, the order is ready" I said as I placed the tray on the table.

"Thank you Mama" Adam replied with a smile.

"Adam's been washing his hands yet?" I asked Adam.

"Udah dong Ma, look Adam's hand is clean" Adam replied, revealing his clean hand to me.

"Pinter, let's eat. Don't forget, read the prayer first"

Adam also nodded. He then took off both hands while reciting a prayer before eating. Thank God I have a child like Adam. Adam was everything to me, he was half my life and my soul. As much as possible, I will try to always make Adam happy.

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When Adam and I ate together, I saw from the door of Aisha's store, Radit and their son Zahra. I wave my hand so they can join me.

"Assalamualaikum" said Aisyah and Radit together.

"Waalaikumsalam" I said in unison with Adam.

"Well, Om and aunt. There is also Zahra adek" said Adam happy.

"Well, what do you think Om is eating? I think it's really good" Radit said as he ruffled a little bit of Adam's hair.

"Eating chicken dong Om. Here aunt. The sitting of Adam. Adam wants to share Adek Zahra"

"Okay, it's just like Zahra. Same aunt Ai didn't miss?" aisha said while sitting near Adam.

"Kangen also dong Tan, ih adek Zahra is very funny" said Adam while holding Zahra's hand.

"Yes already, I pesen first yeah Bun. What do you want to eat?" ask Radit to Aisha.

"Same on Dad. The cream soup is also for Zahra" replied Aisyah.

Radit nodded as well. After Radit went to order food. Me and Aisyah resumed the conversation.

"Where are you from Ai?" I asked Aisyah.

"We're from Ri's hospital"

"O Allah, who is sick? Zahra?" I said a little panicked.

"No. Not checking the sick. But, following Zahra's sister" Aisyah replied with a chuckle.

"Oh Allah, so, are you pregnant again? Alhamdulillahot. Barakallah Ai, I will finally add ponakan" I said happily.

"Well, does Zahra want another sister, Tan? Yeeey Adam will have a baby sister again" said adam no less happy.

"Dear Adam, Adam's brother will be Adek Zahra will have a baby sister again" replied Aisyah.

"Healthy ya bumil. Hope you are good until you give birth. Amen" said.

"Amin" answered Aisha.

Before long, Radit returned with a tray filled with their orders. We ended up having a meal while chatting occasionally. After eating, Radit invited Adam and Zahra to play in the game area in this CFK booth.

Me and Aisyah smiled happily at that, I was grateful that even though Adam did not feel the affection of his biological father, he still felt the sincere affection of his Om Radit. And also, from Mas Darto.

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"Alhamdulillah yes Ri, the children look very happy" said Aisyah.

"Yes, I am grateful. Although Adam never felt the love of his father, but Radit was able to love Adam like his son. Thank you, Ai, for not limiting Radit" I replied.

"What the hell Ri, even if Radit doesn't love Adam, I'll pites him into a peddle. You know Ri, I've considered Adam like my son"

"Thank you Ai, I know in the depths of the boy's heart he seems to miss the father-styled male figure. But what can I do? While his biological father was still shackled with his insanity"

"Prophe Ri, God willing, you will have a companion who can love you and Adam. Oh yeah, didn't Mas Darto already express his feelings for you?" ask Aisyah to me.

"Dance, you must be able to rise from the past. Don't support yourself in old wounds. Do not be confused with the shadow of the past. Try to make peace with that pain in your heart. Don't make the past your obstacle to the future"

"But Ai, I'm still afraid to anchor my heart to another man. I'm afraid to add to this wound in my heart"

"Ri, don't equal all men like Dimas. Look, Mas Darto's sacrifice all this time for you. I can see the sincerity from his eyes. Now, I need you to answer my question honestly. Answer honestly" said Aisyah full of emphasis.

I could only nod, feeling intimidated by Aisyah's words.

"You love Mas Darto, don't you? You also actually love Mas darto right?" ask Aisyah to me.

The deg!

My heart seemed frozen upon hearing the question from Aisyah. My lips are too thick to speak.

"Emmm, i that's it" I answered stammered.

Huffttt, I took a deep breath to set the rhythm of my heartbeat.

"I don't know for sure Ai, how I really feel about Mas Darto. I told you, I'm still too afraid to put my heart on another man. But, indeed I admit, there is a speck of desire to have Mas Darto in my heart. But, my fear overcame that" finally, that sentence was able to slide out of my mouth.

"Dispose of all the memories and pain from your past Ri. Look, Adam still needs a father figure. And I'm sure, Adam also wants to see his mother has a companion who is able to love you and Adam" said Aisyah while holding my hand.

"Istikharah salat. Ask God for guidance. May you be given the determination" continued Aisyah again.

"Insha Allah, I will do your counsel Ai. Thank you, you can always be a listener. I pray, may your household always be sadinah mawaddah warahmah. Love each other and love them until they get old"

"Amin, I pray too. May God give you a faithful companion and love you and Adam as they are"

"Amin" answered.

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After being satisfied talking with Aisyah. I saw Radit and the kids were walking up to us. It was seen in Adam's face of happiness. Maybe he is happy to play with Zahra and Radit.

"Kids, God's Masha is very active. I loh Bun until overwhelmed this ngasuh son two" complained Radit while giving Zahra to Aisyah.

"Well, just two Dit. Noh, I'll add one more" I said.

"Oh yes, then one will be born. Not to mention Adam. Duh, my son is getting more and more" replied Radit.

"Yes Dit, talking about Adam. I just marry the bellows" I said as I opened my mouth.

"Switch, noh it's in front of your eyes Ri. But Lu hung it. The clothesline"

Yeah, since Radit's not working for me. My language with him is not as formal as it used to be. Now, we were instead used to speaking in a relaxed language.

"My heart is still a dilemma"

"Aah, cake ABG aje lu Ri. Bun, it looks like the Dance needs to be rukiyah. Who knows already in the rukiyah noh eyes of the heart the same inner eye opened"

"Fucking you Dit"

Radit just chuckled at my words.

"Udah Well, the habit of ngiseingin Dance. We just pray, hopefully soon Dance can open her heart to other men" replied Aisyah.

Ah, Ai you are a wise woman.

"Ammiiinnnn" Radit replied slightly shouting.

I stuffed Radit's mouth with a bottle of drink because it was noisy and embarrassed to be seen by people.

"Whispering you, this is in the city not in the woods huh" I said.

Aisyah also laughed out loud at the expression of annoyed husband. Finally, we decided to go home. Arriving at the parking lot, I say goodbye to Aisyah and Radit.

They promised me that this weekend would come to visit my house. He said he wanted to see Dad.

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Get in the car, I turn on the engine and walk to the house. I see, Adam had fallen asleep. It looks like he's exhausted after playing with Zahra and Radit.

I'll take a quick look at her cheeks. Saying an apology in my heart to my son. Because, I still can't grant her request and also make her happy.

I remembered my conversation with Aisyah. Indeed, I cannot deny in the bottom of my heart, I also love Mas Darto. Could it be that it is time for me to try to open my heart to her?

Ah, dizziness also turned out to think of this. Well, it's good to pray Istikharah first, ask God for guidance, what good steps should I do before deciding everything.

Seriate...