Punk In Love's

The Way of Love is Complicated

Silent and silent. Two things that now envelop the two humans who are currently immersed in their respective feelings. A dangerous silence, as if this silent situation was created from the manifestation of a doubtful heart. Perhaps more precisely, it is Chelsea's heart that is being worried. She repeated Peter's love statement a moment ago in her mind. Spell it like a spell that will make him forget the figure of Abigail beside him.

Peter did not turn away from Chelsea's face. He saw clearly that the woman before him was being struck by a wave of doubtful feelings that were hard to express. Quietly Peter guesses, Chelsea will definitely reject his declaration of love. Although his body does not reject the intimacy that was created before finally having to stop because of his past trauma. Chelsea certainly do not believe in the statement of love that he has expressed.

Peter took Chelsea's hand. He grabbed it and put Chelsea's fingers on his chest. Chelsea's eyes follow where Peter takes his hand. Slowly his gaze rose, staring at Peter with a hard-to-read look. They looked at each other in silence. Chelsea's hand felt Peter's heartbeat beating fast.

"Feel" said Peter closing his eyes.

"My heart has been beating fast since. Feel my sincerity from that beat Chelsea." lirih continued.

Chelsea termangu. The reality was not as simple as when he felt the sincerity itself. It is definitely not a matter of Chelsea doubting Peter's declaration of love. Chelsea's self-disputation is more complicated than the intimacy she creates with Peter. Abigial. A name that complements that guidance. One name that indirectly made Chelsea recall the commitment he agreed with the lesbian woman.

Maybe this is why. Chelsea began to remember when Abigail asked him to keep his distance from Peter. After all this happened, Chelsea finally understood Abigail's concerns. Chelsea's heart is not as firm as Abigail's. Deep in the corner of his heart, he still harbored an interest in the opposite sex. He's not completely a lesbian. Peter has managed to restore his sexual orientation. Chelsea are starting to realize that.

Now the problem becomes more complicated when he remembers the feelings of Abigail who loved him so sincerely for a long time. Even before Peter came into his life. What should Chelsea do?. Chelsea are troubled. His heart was troubled to think between reality and desire.

Chelsea breathed a long breath, the fact that he had a sense of Peter did not make it easy to accept Peter. Abigail did not deserve the disappointment of this betrayal. Chelsea can't hurt Abigail. He must forget the feelings that are beginning to grow on Peter.

"Stop Peter." Chelsea pulled his hand from Peter's. Peter opened his eyes gasping, while Chelsea averted his gaze.

"Why?" he was surprised by Chelsea's mood swings.

"You'd better get going" Chelsea said. He does not want to explain things that occupy his heart and mind.

" Wh-what? You want me to go?" Peter tried to calm down, though it didn't work out enough.

"Chelsea, did you reject me?" Peter guesses Chelsea's sudden change in attitude.

"I already have Peter's lover" he said staring in Peter's eyes firmly.

"Forget what happened between us today. And thank you, you've accompanied me. I really appreciate that" Chelsea said. He got out of bed, followed by Peter.

Peter pulls Chelsea's hand as the woman moves further away. Chelsea tried to let go of Peter's grasp, he was impatient to get away from the man who had managed to destroy his defense. She worries that her impulse towards Peter will further complicate the situation.

"Peter off." asked Chelsea without seeing the man's face in front of him.

"Tell me, how do you feel about me?" Peter asked a bit forcefully.

Chelsea quiet. He bit his lower lip in despair. There seems to be no way out but to explain another lie about his heart to Peter. Everything must end right now. Chelsea turned her face to look at Peter, and pretended not to be affected by his question at all.

"Peter, I think you're overconfident. There's nothing in my heart for you" Chelsea said, her heart beating fast to utter the lie.

"You're lying" said Peter.

"Your body language says otherwise, Chelsea." he continued.

Chelsea forced a smile to look at Peter. He tried not to be intimidated by the man's statement. He did not want Peter to know his true feelings.

"What body language do you mean? Kiss and hug just now?" ask Chelsea. He was going to push Peter back.

Peter silence. He did not say a word to justify or deny the woman's words. My God, Chelsea are really frustrating. His words forced Peter not to take what they were doing seriously. Their flirtation just now was like an illusion that Peter had to forget about. Peter frowned at him.

"You don't seem to think it means anything to what happened between us, Chelsea." Peter did not give Chelsea a chance to answer. "Your body is obviously reacting to my fondness" he said glaring at a seemingly indifferent Chelsea.

"It was only because of the situation and conditions that supported me to return your fondness. It doesn't mean anything in my heart." Chelsea let go of Peter's grasp after feeling the grip was a little loosened. Peter let Chelsea's hand slip.

"You're lying to your own heart" said Peter, watching Chelsea walk to the door.

"I'm tired Peter. It's past midnight. Can you please go? I want to rest on my own." Chelsea ignored Peter's words.

Peter grinned. He walked over to Chelsea, who were standing at the door.

"I'm sorry for forcing this conversation" Peter said as soon as he got to the doorstep. He took a deep breath, trying to relax his tense shoulders. He knows that this is not the right time to talk about feelings. Just a moment ago the woman before him had already experienced an unpleasant incident. Peter should let Chelsea rest.

"I'll forget about our conversation. We'll talk about that later. Right now you just need a Chelsea break" Peter said understandingly. "But you have to remember, what I say about my feelings, it's all true. I love you, Chelsea." Peter reminded.

"Shhh. I don't want you to say anything more. I want you to think carefully about what I'm saying. Later, I'll come back to ask how you feel." Peter stopped whatever was going to come out of Chelsea's lips, then kissed Chelsea's forehead before he finally stepped down the stairs.

Before reaching the bottom of the first floor, Peter turned to look at Chelsea who was still standing looking at him on the staircase fence. He smiled gently at the woman.

"Be honest with your own heart Chelsea. Don't deny what's in your heart" he said before continuing and leaving Chelsea alone.

Chelsea's body collapsed on the floor as soon as she heard the sound of her apartment door closing. His hand rubbed rough his chest which felt tight. It started to sound soft. Sometimes he tries to catch his breath which feels heavy.

"What should I do?" he muttered to himself.

***

Peter slammed his body on the sofa near his village pool. He lifted his head on the back of the sofa, twitching his head that felt heavy. Tom is swimming alone.

"What time were you home last night?" Tom propped his arms together at the edge of the pool. Looking at his friend who looked chaotic.

"Eitherway. I don't pay attention to time." said Peter lazily. Peter took a while to calm his mind. Sleeping in the early hours does not make him free from the shadow of Chelsea.

"Had something happened yesterday?" Tom refers to Chelsea. "You didn't call me all day yesterday, there must have been something that made you forget to tell me about Chelsea's condition" he said.

Hearing the name is called to make Peter look at his best friend. He walked over to Tom who was still in the pool.

"When are we going back to America?" peter asked as he sat himself in a lounge chair close to the edge of the pool where Tom was leaning.

"What are you asking that about? Is there something with Chelsea." asked Tom curiously.

"It looks like I need extra time to convince the woman." Peter expressed his concern.

"I don't understand. Can you explain the point of the matter in more detail?" Tom got up from the pool. He immediately put on Bathrobes which was on a small table beside a lounge chair.

"Did Chelsea reject you?" guess Tom while flipping Bathrobes. He gulped down a glass of fruit juice before taking a seat near Peter.

Peter's mind was filled with Chelsea's words last night. Fear started to slowly hit him. Peter looked insecure as he recalled Chelsea's rejection. Though in the corner of his heart believe that what Chelsea said about his feelings is a lie. Still, the fear trapped him in silence. Peter shook his head trying to ignore his bad thoughts. Tom looked at her question mark.

"Chelsea rejected me. But I felt it was just a lie" Peter's mind finally came out after a moment of restraint.

"Tell me how it started." Tom couldn't respond if Peter didn't explain the collapse. All day his best friend was in Chelsea's apartment,

It can't be that nothing happened.

Initially Peter seemed hesitant to explain what happened in the Chelsea apartment, he was a little worried if he had to tell the details of the incident. Especially when a flash of Chelsea trauma is present in his memory. But on the other hand, Peter did not deny that at this time he really needed input from his best friend. He could not keep his worries alone.

Finally, doubtfully, Peter told me everything that happened there. What happened to Chelsea, how he accepted Peter's fondness, to the event where with all his fears Chelsea told Peter about his past trauma. Peter told me everything without exception. He wants the assessment from his best friend about the end of his meeting with Chelsea to culminate in Chelsea's rejection of his feelings.

"I didn't expect Chelsea to have such a severe trauma." Tom's first words after Peter finished his story.

"Well, obviously it was a painful event for him" Peter said. Until this moment, if he recalls telling Chelsea about his trauma Peter was like a deep sadness. He could not believe, women as happy as Chelsea had experienced cruel things like what his stepfather did.

"Where is baj*ngan?" ask Tom later.

"It looks like in prison, I didn't have time to ask."

"I hope he's rotting there" said Tom emotionally.

"What do you think I should do right now?" Peter pulls Tom back to the heart of the matter.

"Waiting" said Tom as he sipped back his juice. "I guess, at the moment Chelsea is just being gambled with his heart. Moreover, his status is still a lover of Abigail." continued Tom relaxed.

"Well, I feel that way too. Maybe my expression of feelings was too soon." Peter finally concluded.

***