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31

"Already Gus, please let them, always give do'a-do'a for their good there."

A white man in white Muslim clothes and a clean white holster patted me softly on the shoulder.

"Njeh kyai, inshaallah Irwan tried to be sincere, but somehow it is very difficult to hold these tears"

I wiped away tears that seemed to flow non-stop.

"If you weep like that for their pity, the tears that fall on their graves are like the flames that ignite their bodies, do you have the heart of your father and mother Gus?" asked Pak Kyai Husain to wake me up to the impact my parents would have if I still cried.

"Astaghfirullah's.." I hurried to wipe away all my tears.

Kyai Husain smiled.

"Let us pray together, that your father and mother may be forgiven for their sins, laid down in their graves, kept away from the torment of their graves. "

Kyai Husain leads the do'a and I can only follow in my heart while occasionally guaranteeing his do'a-do'a.

*

The day my parents let me go so I could go to Ponpes Darussalam, the boarding school where my father used to study religion and national science.

Mom looks heavy to take me off because sometimes it looks like she rubbed her tears, while the father just smiled and occasionally reminded me to be patient.

But who would have thought if that day was also precisely I who had to be willing and sincere about the departure of my parents forever.

Mini bus driven by father and mother happened to accident to kill them both.

At that time I begged the old man and the kyai sir to have my parents rest at the cottage cemetery.

Because indeed the father who was a brotherless father and had been a santri in the cottage, in the end agreed to my request.

And I also promise to devote the rest of my life to this boarding school.

So that I could always look after and care for the graves of my parents.

I've been here for almost a week and often spent time beside the tomb of my parents who seemed to still wet the soil of the tomb.

I still do not fully believe in the fate that befell me as well as my parents.

"Mom.why are you leaving Irwan so soon in this world? Though Irwan has begun to step up to become a good child as the expectations of father and mother.

I'm sorry Irwan sir...

Pardon Irwan ya maaaakkk...

Huhuhuhoo..."

I don't know since when there was someone who was beside me while sprinkling jasmine flowers.

I heard people beside me talking, but still I was late with my own world, then when the person patted me gently on the shoulder and I turned to him, looking at him, I saw Kyai Husain sitting next to me.

He told me to be patient and sincere.

Ahh precisely because that sentence makes my heart heavier and cry again.

How can I be patient and sincere if those I love no longer exist in this world, can I not touch even kiss both hands?

Is this the loss of the person we love most? Is this what it feels like to be left behind by a family we love so much?

These tears just getting faster and almost I roared to express my heart in order to escape a little crowded in the heart. But I remember if it was forbidden and I was a man so I should be able to withstand this tightness.

Since Kyai Husain knew I was the son of Gus Ridwan, the best santri there. Kyai Husain called me Gus.

Hopefully later I will follow the path of the father as the best santri in this cottage.

*

"Kyai.. teach Irwan to be patient and sincere "

After praying, I began to be determined to learn patience and sincerity. And I asked Kyai Husain to teach me how to be patient and sincere.

Because honestly, the two words that seem light to be spoken as motivation actually get heavier when we are in the lowest position when we lose.

"If you feel still very sad then berwudlu lah then pray sunnah, it is better than you cry on the graves of your parents.

When you remember them, immediately to wudlu, read the Qur'an, pray for them until your heart is completely calm.

Multiply istighfar and dhikr remember Allah, because when you are sad and dissolve in sadness then you are just praying for Allah, even though everything on the face of this earth belongs to Allah, including what has already happened and what will happen later all of it is by His will."

I fell silent and pondered what Kyai Husain had said.

After arriving at the cottage, I immediately took the wudlu and performed the sunnah prayer.

My hopes and hopes were high, and it was good for both my parents. Until I really felt a little sense of calm in my heart.

Bismillah father, mother, inshaallah Irwan will devote the rest of Irwan's life in this Ponpes. And inshaallah may we be reunited in the Fennation of God.

Aamyn

***

^_^

So many stories, hopefully it can be useful for readers.