Null Existence

10. Arjuna

The roaring summer rain seeped into the black coat he was wearing, translucent into his white shirt. The water line goes down to the wrist, towards the mouth of the Katana, flows along the curve of the back of the blade that is clear silvery and then empties into the end that is only a few stops hanging on the neck of Asano.

"Today the Slaughterer thinks himself the Hero...Hahaha" Asano drooped on the stagnant asphalt, laughing wryly with cynicism.

Rangga fluttered with Katana unsheathed by the behavior of the prospective victim, Asano who was content to laugh now lay resigned to look up at the sky, permeating the cold rain speck.

Rangga twisted the position of his sword blade horizontally. His grip tightened.

Neon advertising flickers of Kabukicho District reflected along Katana's blade, Rangga folding his right elbow, preparing for the final slash.

"You're forever a Pawn...Not the Hero" cried Asano.

The sound of gunfire erupted several times inside the Gang, in the afterglow of the clanking of bullet shells and thudding sounds.

Then silence.

The narrow alley in the corner of the Red Light District gradually faded away and changed into a quiet classroom. Colorful advertising neon is transformed into a milky white LED light hanging on the ceiling.

The sound orchestra of the roof that was hit by heavy rain melatari silent atmosphere, combined with the beats of water spots on the window glass and the roar of ripples jutting towards the water child. The atmosphere of the rain indeed seems to contain magic, hundreds of poems have been born from poets drugged by the nuances of rain, as well as millions of love songs since the beginning of time.

For those who seem to be being poured by reeds of longing like Rangga, rain is also synonymous with the dera of memories of loved ones.

Rangga is being washed away in memories as well, but this time not for reasons of limited to kangen. Asano's last words more than two years ago seemed to stick in his mind.

Fuck that, I never and do not intend to pose as a hero, said Rangga in his heart.

Rangga got up from the bench and handed his test paper to the Lecturer, poking the end of Laras bangs floating on the answer paper when passing the stool.

The visible rain is still not going to subside forcing hundreds of students to flock to empty streets, or places to eat around the campus just to spend time, except those who have four-wheeled vehicles of course.

Rangga was fervently observing the majors notice board when Laras and some of his classmates invited to shift to the Cafe around the campus.

The path that passed by a little began to pool, not too deep but enough to force the pedestrians to roll up their trousers at ankle-high.

The usual scenery for Jakarta is often mired in long rain.

Luckily he was able to cut down Dino's car, so there was no need to wet the rain to the Transjakarta stop. From the back bench he observed Dino who occasionally glanced at Laras beside him from behind the wheel, apparent interest in the eyes of his friend.

"Where are we going to eat?" ask Dino a moment later.

"Around Ciledug Raya aja," replied Usman who sat next to Rangga. He himself forgot that these four of them.

"Okay, no bang?" Dino glanced at Rangga from the middle spy.

"Come, come with me." replied Rangga.

He came back to his feet with the wet road, enjoying the bias of street lights on the window glass film. Half of his image was trying to sketch the streets and frenzied in the rain on the canvas sheet in his mind, the other half eavesdropping on the chatter of Laras and Dino.

A few dozen minutes passed and the tiny car docked in the parking lot of one of the Fried Chicken Restaurants in the T-junction of Ciledug. The four were flung across the parking lot, Laras was in Dino's jacket, Usman was in his bag, and Rangga was lonely.

"Bang Rangga, the matter of work that brother asked is serious?" ask Usman when he enters the restaurant.

"Yes, just in case I pull out Monday," replied Rangga as he swept a glance looking for an empty table for them. Baras and Dino in front of them headed for the order counter.

"Yes, later I ask my brother, there is still no vacancy that I said,"

"Thank you, I'll call you later..."

A split second interval Rangga caught the object darting in a perfect arch past a row of tables and other visitors without them knowing, towards the point in front of the counter where Laras was.

　

　

Usman frowned in surprise when suddenly Rangga had already shifted his body and moved behind Dino and Laras, brushing off a small object in the air.

　

　

Rangga smashed a broken cigarette onto the floor, looking for a figure that deliberately threw it. Based on the pictured parabolic motion, this is clearly neither accidental nor idle.

　

　

Rangga easily deduced from which direction the cigarette was thrown, his gaze immediately fell onto the table in the corner of the room.

　

　

A tall man with a striped brown blazer and a V-Neck T-shirt smiled at him. He recognized the clean white face of the movie star even though this time it was not smeared with camouflage as usual.

　

　

Looks a little mature from the last time they met, although the age is indeed a few years younger than Rangga.

　

　

"Mas Rangga wants what message?" asked Laras who was shocked to realize the existence of Rangga behind him.

　

　

"Give up, be with you," Rangga replied without looking, then approached the man's desk.

　

　

He dropped his damp jacket and sat on the bench across from it, the man folded his hands on the table and greeted him kindly. It has not changed at all since their last meeting, 3 years ago.

　

　

"How are you, brother. Your reflexes are still amazing" the man opened the conversation, smiling.

　

　

"Alhamdulilah, Fine. How are you, Arjuna?" ask Rangga.

　

　

***

　

　

There was a glimmer of awkwardness after the two exchanged greetings. Rangga did not expect that one day he would meet Arjuna in a place like this. After a long time the two separated.

　

　

He had a lot of questions in his head.

　

　

Laras and the others chose to sit down to eat the order not far from Rangga and Arjuna, although they were reluctant to reprimand the two who seemed serious in the conversation.

　

　

"It's been a while since we last met, Juna?" Rangga opened the conversation at last.

　

　

"Yes, almost three years have passed instead, since our last assignment in Japan," replied Arjuna.

　

　

"Yes, it doesn't feel."

　

　

Arjuna then tried to break the sense of the impasse of their communication by grabbing the pack of cigarettes, then realized that their room was smoke-free, then immediately turned off the cigarette that had been ignited.

　

　

"This brother is still not much changed, stiff and serious as before. Relax a little," he protested, also smiling in frustration.

　

　

"Well, I've been socializing a lot."

　

　

"Well, a little bit, maybe. By the way, are those Big Brother's friends?" Arjuna glanced at Dino Cs.

　

　

"Yes,"

　

　

"Well, you look a lot younger than I am" said Arjuna, as if amazed at Laras et al.

　

　

"Temen college anyway, I am now working and college night as well" said Rangga.

　

　

"work...Seriously Brother work?" Arjuna couldn't believe it.

　

　

"Yes, I work at KAP in Central Jakarta, as a driver and a general part,"

　

　

"Seriousness. The job of being a driver in the office, the usual driver is that?" Arjuna is getting smack.

　

　

"Well, why would I lie too. So Ojol also never really," said Rangga.

　

　

For one reason that Rangga was unable to understand, Arjuna laughed curled up in front of him.

　

　

Rangga chose to scoop the fries on the table that was still untouched.

　

　

　

　

“I tell you, instead you laugh.”

　

　

"I can not imagine, you become a Driver, Do not die bored passengers delivered by Brother?" arjuna said after his laughter subsided.

　

　

“Wah, seeremehin you. Gini-gini five-star rating continues. Close the point continues instead,” Rangga without awkwardly showing off his Ojol profile to Arjuna.

　

　

Arjuna mangosteen after looking at the screen of Rangga's phone, looks still amused itself. The atmosphere is now melting between the two, the same atmosphere as when it was still active duty first.

　

　

“Kok stop kak?” ask Arjuna.

“What, Ojol? That's because I got a job as an office driver, after all now the system is new, more difficult,” said Rangga, tucking his phone back into his pocket.

　

　

"Oh, so. Many interesting stories like in the life of Brother over the past 3 years. I thought after retiring from the Bureau with the mess you left behind first, Brother will continue working so—what that is, according to your field of expertise."

　

　

"So the Army of Pay for example you mean?" reply Rangga, kalem. Arjuna did not answer.

　

　

"It is not retirement and the name of dong insaf, if it is still in the world as well." he continued.

　

　

Arjuna then interrupted the conversation when there was an incoming message on the phone, he replied to the message briefly and then put it back on the table.

　

　

"I am now working as a Paspampres at the Palace, entering through the Father's connections after our unit was dissolved.by whistleblowing you that sis." said Arjuna.

　

　

Rangga caught a bit of a bitter tone in the last sentence. He was able to understand, for Arjuna and Jagawana, the Bureau was like their own home. He also used to feel the same bitterness when he decided to reveal their existence to the State.

　

　

Paspampres is a suitable job for Arjuna, Rangga thought. At least his expertise is used and the state recognizes his devotion.

　

　

"As I explained to you guys earlier, I feel that the boundary line is already too gray. We've almost biased between running the interests of the State, or personal interests. We are the Secret Service. And that, it should have never existed from the beginning." said Rangga.

　

　

"But your way is also a coward!...Are you aware of the extent of your public disclosure and sabotage effect on the Bureau. You know how our Father lost face, then the low Stigma of the community at the State Institution, while you just ran away?" Arjuna also increased his intonation slightly although his delivery remained articulate.

　

　

"There's a price to pay for that change, Juna. In that case, especially for all of us who are in the vortex, there must be a victim..."

　

　

"If you're going to apologize, I don't need Kak" Arjuna said.

　

　

Rangga found that the shape of the man's face in front of him was slightly hardened.

　

　

"If you want to apologize, ask Mr and Agni" he continued.

　

　

Silence suddenly rippled between the two. Rangga re-opened his voice.

　

　

"Father has understood enough of the risks of all these actions, since I began to question the details of our assignment, perhaps even from the beginning when the Grass Root he formed. We're not the first, Juna. But I feel like we should be the last generation."

"If I feel guilty, it's only for you and Agni. Everything has happened and I can't change the facts about everything I've caused, especially for the two of you. My only regret is that" he said, staring intently at Arjuna.

Arjuna remained silent and unmoved despite still listening. Rangga had actually stated this 3 years ago, when he decided to reveal their existence to the State and Public Institutions after long consideration.

But of course the time was very chaotic and full of drama. Although the government managed to dampen the hysterical public and media reactions, internally things did not end smoothly. He had to undergo many testimonial sessions in a closed trial.

The division in charge of the unit was dismantled, the unit disbanded. All the turbulence subsided after the Bureau of Intelligence underwent an internal overhaul.

The Head of State and even many of the military elite themselves are shocked by the existence of clandestine units that have operated for decades with very little knowledge about them.

Rangga was separated from Arjuna and Agni when since all the revelations that have occurred, he himself disappeared when the final decision of the government was almost hammered and decided to blur the traces of his existence.

"How's the Bungsu doing?" ask Rangga later.

"Agni was hardest hit because of your departure. His attitude was getting cold and distant. When you proposed a new identity for us and joined Paspampres, he refused. Agni remains in the Bureau that is experiencing upheaval and change, I never heard from again," said Arjuna.

Agni was at odds almost 7 years from the age of Rangga, 3 years under Arjuna. All three are the last Alumnus of the Grass Root Program.

The three of them were orphans when recruited, Arjuna is a delinquent who previously lived in an orphanage.

While Agni, has lived somehow long on the streets and experienced violence both physical and mental, as well as sexual when in 'discovered'.

Dirty, seedy, full of cuts and foul smelling.

But never a little fear from his eyes, perhaps the fear in him had long died bitterly eroded life. The fire of his determination and agility was perpetuated by the name Agni when he was inaugurated.

Even if they depart from different backgrounds, the two for Rangga are not like their own siblings.

"Whatever Brother hates your actions, he still cares about you. I think Agni did too. Regardless of how it came from, for me and Bungsu, Father is our Father figure. Brother is still big brother to both of us" concluded Arjuna.

Rangga's memory turned on the day that the man whom the three of them called 'Father' came on the day of his parents' death.

Rangga was arguably dead in that day, and revived by the Father as Jagawana.

Mr. is a powerful military figure in the Intelligence Bureau, he who then nurtured Rangga and his two younger siblings in the Roots of Grass program.

Even though he is retired now, he is still one of the strong figures in the political arena and the owner of many large companies.

Then the nostalgia changed color when it came to the days where Rangga began to question the life they took and for whom it really was. It was as if swallowing a bitter pill after tasting sweet.

"Who is Brother's name now?" ask Arjuna then.

"Rangga, I use my little name" replied Rangga.

"I'll keep Arjuna. It's hard to come off with that call, anyways...My real name is not cool, less modern,"

"You mean?"

"Well, cook cool gini name Slamet, keep me called Mamet that? Mets..Met, doesn't fit the same profile on Instagram." Arjuna explained while showing off his Instagram page.

Rangga frowned, looking confused.

As soon as Rangga then remembered how flamboyant his adoptive sister had been since long ago.

His shoulders were slightly shaken with laughter, he then leaned against the chair.

The young woman in a fashionable suit who had been watching them had also approached her second table. The posture is syntactically layered with a motif shirt and a dark-colored leather jacket, in line with its strict denim. His face was thin with lips filled.

He then stood next to Arjuna and extended his hand to Rangga.

"Know Brother, I'm Emily, call Mili aja."

"Same, I'm Rangga. Mili's boyfriend Juna?"

"Not Kak, I'm his fiancee" Mili replied as she clasped Arjuna's hand. Arjuna grinned the horse.

It takes a few extra seconds to process this new information.

Wait, What!? A fiancee? That fast, while I still... A singles?

"Have you finished talking, dear?" ask Mili to Arjuna. His fiancee nodded.

"We're first, brother, next time we talk while I'm on leave."

Arjuna said goodbye and holding Mili's hand, the girl also said goodbye to Rangga before continuing to wrestle spoiled in the arm of her fiance. Both of them look so friendly and harmonious in the eyes of Rangga.

Rangga closely watched the perfect couple leave the restaurant. He was still thinking about the existence of Agni, but was also happy to see Arjuna continue his life well.

In his heart he was grateful and always prayed for the good of his sisters like every good Brother, since long ago.

　

***

Arjuna turns on his car while Mili is busy folding the small disposable lobes, he slips them in the dashboard drawer when finished. They then rushed to leave the restaurant while the heavy rain subsided into a drizzle.

"That was you, honey. Seriously, until I was told to wait." protested Mili

"Hehe, I'm sorry Honey," replied Arjuna behind the steering wheel.

"What is it that is talking about, the Secret State?"

"Ehm.. Yes, the Secret State."

"Huh, seriously. Who is that?" Mili was curious and shifted to face her fiance.

"Oh. That's my brother,"

Plaque!

"Yes, I didn't tell you anyway, if it was your brother, just go play...Not good" Mili patted Arjuna's shoulder and continued to pinch his arm and waist.

Arjuna who was busy driving could only forgive and promised that next time he would introduce his adoptive brother more officially.

"I told you about it, didn't I have a brother and sister from an orphanage?"

"Oh, that's.." Mili mangosteen. "People can too yes, look calm but interesting that, like Rangga in the film deh,"

"Well, I'll tell the guy" said Arjuna as if jealous.

"Cie..Jealousy yes. You're funny when you're jealous. Still with you, honey. Don't worry!" Mili moved to kiss Arjuna's cheek, and wrestled with his arm.

The small car continued to split the road that no longer stagnated.