My Vanny's

Are you angry, huh?

A week passed, we had already occupied our new home in Bogor, with all our routines and busyness, Vanny always brought her car for work as well as me. The day we went through was full of laughter Gigi, Gigi being our favorite beautiful Clown, we loved Gigi like our own son.

" Sat..tomorrow we'll find Gigi's house again" Pinta Vanny told me, she'd really like to see Gigi school like a kid her age.

" Nyari where well Van, yesterday we were around sukabumi" answered me by playing the cellphone and lying on his smooth thigh

" Well muter again, see you" she answered by rubbing my hair, I kissed her flat stomach, and she laughed holding back her ticklish

" Angledy"

" Hornian uh "Answer me and Vanny laughed with a pinch of my arm.

" Satttt Serious dong"

" Yes.tomorrow Van, I'll take Reno with me, so if you sleep, I'm not sleepy" answered me and my wife laughed.Saturday, when I, Vanny and Gigi go to sukabumi, my wife is fast asleep in the car, she must be tired, because now the distance of her home and office is further.

" Van...February is still a long time well.ga patiently wait for the news you are pregnant my child" said me and keep one hand on my chest.

" Sattt "

" Hemmh "

" When I don't want to get pregnant?" He asked and I was surprised by his words

" What does that mean?" Ask me by looking at her face

" I'm afraid of getting pregnant and giving birth to Sat.I'm afraid" answered my wife in a soft voice and her one hand kept wiping my hair.

" The reason is Van?" ask me by trying to be patient even though my heart is not good and the emotions that I have to control because Vanny is talking seriously.

" You know...My mother died giving birth to the twins, I still remember the event, Mama was in so much pain, until the end she was unconscious and Mama died in the operating room" Answer with glass eyes.

I sat next to her, then hugged her shoulder.

" Just a percent of cases pregnant women die Van "I answered trying logically

" But there's a good chance I'm the one who's giving it a percent" replied Vanny and I smiled as he continued wiping his hair.

" The sustenance, Death, The soul mate was arranged by His Van, You're not sure?"

" And therefore I fear Sat...Our son Gigi aja well Sat, I love him" answered My wife and I smiled

" I love Gigi too, Van. But we have to be ready.When Gigi meets her dad, she's definitely coming with her dad"

" We Adopt, we are capable of Sat" Vanny replied, continuing to give reasons.

" Yes.we are capable dear, but I also want you to conceive my child, my biological child" I replied

" if I don't want to?" Ask her

" i will push on" I replied with a laugh, I have to laugh, if not, I want to feel angry and cursing, but at this time my wife is sad, he was remembering bad events in his life.

" There's my Van.I'm a doctor, I'll take care of you" replied I tried to convince my wife again.

" but who knows me Sat, I'm afraid.I don't want ah" he replied with annoyance.

" my seed truss how dong?"

" Fuck "I said

" Sat.kamu mah Marahan"

" Well you're not Van-grade, I don't think your way of thinking is" answered me and walked out of the room.

Stevannies.

That man is a selfish creature, huh?! It is not that one relationship must be able to complement each other and all problems can be discussed well either, whatever the problem.

Including about the child. I glanced at the clock on the wall, it was already 1pm, Satria left after our chatter earlier.

What's wrong I express my fear "I'm afraid of getting pregnant, I don't want to get pregnant and give birth "

Don't think I'm a selfish woman, or I'm just thinking about myself, without considering Satria's wish that I want to conceive her child, all I'm considering, satria's desire to have children soon, I must have thought.I want Satria also help me, forget all the bitter memories and my fear about pregnancy and childbirth.

I'M SCARED, VERY SCARED.

my memory goes back to spinning, I was 6 years old, I lived happily with my mom and dad, Mama always accompanied me to play, study and every afternoon was a very pleasant time, he said, mama always made snacks for me, snacks made with love and love, even though it was made from wheat...My mom could make a really soft donut, or a really nice cake and all still vividly remembered in my mind.

Until finally in the morning, Mama complained of pain in her stomach, Mama said, "His baby sister is getting bigger in the belly of mama, mama's stomach hurts when the baby's sister kicked her" mama said by taking my hand and putting it on her stomach, I felt a gentle movement when touching her, until finally me and mama laughed together.

" His baby sister is Naughty, is she Mah?" Ask me

" Baby sister is no naughty teteh, teteh should be dear if her baby sister has been born "my mother replied with a smile and kissed my cheek.

" Promise well Tea,..teteh must love the baby's sister" said Mama again, mama continues to hug me, kiss again cheek my cheek.

" Detah Janji Mah" answered me at that time, all still remembered clearly, the face of the mother, the clothes that you were wearing, and our position when we chatted at that time.

2 Hours after that, my mother arrived to sleep, I was a little girl thought my mother was just tired of playing me, until the end Papa came and screamed, In a hurry Papa took my mother into the car, pulled my little hand, and I saw her crying while driving the car.

2 Hours later, Papa came back crying, even louder, Papa screamed and screamed, I was scared and could only cry in the corner of the hospital side.

After that Papa hugged me, held me and continued to cry while holding me.

" Mama died Tea" said Papa and I woke up in the morning, one infusion was placed in my hand and papa kept crying.

My tears were dripping at this moment, Mama's shadow, Mama's smile, papa's cry and scream as if they were near me at this moment.

I called Satria, the phone is off, I saw the clock on my phone, it's 2 in the morning.

" Are you angry, Sat?" Saying with great regret.

" I'm sorry Sat.but I'm really afraid of getting pregnant"

" WE do not know each other Sat, we arrived married just because of the comfort and Nafs*"

" I'm sorry I made you angry" I said and burned my cigarette on the balcony.

*****Up is a bit difficult, children's school hours are getting longer, many children's duties that I have to check, understand, so each malem becomes a heula teacher hehehehehe..ini mah ventured me well...wakakakakakak*****

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