My Love at the Rainbow Campus

Eps. 35

Alan drives his car to the cemetery to visit the grave of the late Goddess, his ex-wife. Before arriving, Alan stopped at a flower shop to buy a bouquet of the Goddess's favorite white roses.

Arriving at a tomb with a tombstone that reads “Dewi Permata Hati bint Raditya Herlambang”, Alan sat down and placed a bouquet of white roses that he had bought. The tombstone was rubbed, before finally his mind drifted far into the last moments he was with his beloved wife.

The flashback

“What?! You pregnant?” alan asked in shock.

“Yes, Brother, I'm pregnant. I just checked it with a test pack” replied Dewi with a downcast face.

“But how can, Dew? Doesn't the medicine you take have side effects that make it difficult to get pregnant? Can't you not take that medicine?” ask Alan full of questions.

“Yes, Sister, all this time I have never drank it,” sahut Dewi lirih with a face that still down did not dare to look at her husband.

Alan rubbed his face rough when he heard the honest confession from his wife's mouth.

“Yes, my God Goddess! Why would you do that? You realize no, it's putting your life at risk!” sahut Alan with a high tone full of emotion.

“I am aware Brother. I am fully aware of my actions,” said the Goddess, this time with a raised face staring fixedly at her beloved husband.

“What?! That means you killed yourself, Dewi!” sahut Alan with an increasingly thunderous voice while pointing at the face of the Goddess and looking at her with a look of wrath.

“Yes, Brother, I know, but I have no other choice. I want to have offspring as well as other women,” Sahut Dewi with eyes that have begun to glaze over.

“We've been married 8 years, Sister. But, for those 8 years I couldn't give you anything. Besides, just burdening you with my illness. I want to have offspring from you, Brother, is that wrong?” dewi asked in a sobbing voice, touching Alan's innermost conscience, making him forget the anger on his wife.

Alan took a long breath. He began to think about his wife's words, although all this time he had never felt burdened with his wife's illness. However, however, his wife's wish was not a mistake, the only wrong thing was his impossible circumstances.

“Goddess, forgive me. I understand this desire of yours. I also want to have offspring like men in general. But you should be more patient, at least wait until you are completely healed,” said Alan while wiping the tears that had dripped on his wife's cheeks.

“But until when, brother? How long can I be free from this disease?” sahut Dewi was full of despair with tears that returned to dripping on his cheeks.

Alan also pulled the body of the Goddess, buried the head of the Goddess right on his chest.

“Darling, God never gives tests to his servants beyond his means. I am sure one day you can be free from this disease,” said Alan while gently rubbing his wife's black hair.

“Kak, now everything has happened. Maybe this pregnancy has also become part of God's destiny. So, please Brother, give me support for your decision,” said Dewi.

“Dew, I'm honestly very angry with you. You made your decision without speaking to me first and as a husband I will definitely support you as long as it does not harm you. But, you know your pregnancy will make you unable to undergo chemotherapy as usual because it will harm the fetus you are carrying,” said Alan.

“I know that, Brother. That's why I asked Alan during my pregnancy, please don't ask me to undergo chemotherapy. At least until our baby is born,” said Dewi pleaded.

“As I said earlier, I cannot support a decision that could endanger your life,” Alan said with great emphasis.

Shortly after Alan uttered a sentence that felt so painful to his wife. Silence also hit the couple. Alan unceasingly rubbed the Goddess' head, trying to give his wife some calm while thinking about the best decision for her to make. On the one hand, Alan wants to support his wife's decision. He also wants to have children who can be embraced and carried, but on the other hand he does not want to be selfish because the presence of a child in the condition of the Goddess who will now be very dangerous for him.

Alan recalled his late-in-law's story about his mother Goddess a month before his father-in-law was summoned to face the power. Her mother Dewi died shortly after giving birth to the Goddess. That's because her condition during pregnancy Goddess decreased drastically. In addition, during childbirth, her mother Dewi also lost a lot of blood and it is very dangerous for patients who have a history of leukemia like her mother. Alan didn't want the same thing to happen to the Goddess. He intends to talk everything to the doctor who has been handling the Goddess. Hopefully he gets a bright spot for this.

The goddess also raised the head that had been buried in the chest of her husband's field. She looked into her husband's eyes, before he finally spoke.

“So, can I ask you something?”ask Goddess.

Alan smiled at the question he thought was ridiculous from the mouth of the Goddess.

“Of course, who will forbid you to ask Mrs Alan Bagaskara,” Alan said.

“What do you want to ask? Why do you talk like that? Have you doubted my honesty?” alan asked frowning as he heard the words of the Goddess. Then, he looked back at the eyes of the Goddess with a sharp gaze, conveying the implied message through his eyes that he would really be honest and the Goddess did not need to doubt his words.

“Sister Alan, tell me, has Brother loved me all this time?” ask Goddess.

Alan again put on a smile on his lips.

“Why can you ask like that,” asked Alan.

“Kak Alan, please answer! I just want to know if Brother loves me? Because all this time we both know that we are married because of arranged marriage, because Brother feels sorry for the disease I suffered, not because we love each other,” said Goddess Iirih.

“Is it important now? Aren't you now my wife and I have become your husband,” Alan said.

“ So, all this time Brother has never loved me,” said the Goddess with eyes that began to glaze over and tears that slowly dripped on his white cheeks.

Alan rubbed gently the tears that fell on his wife's cheek.

“When did I say I didn't love you? It's true, we were married originally because of an arranged marriage and because of my pity to see how you were at that time. However, it goes with the passage of time and is truly your love for me. I also started to feel the same way to you,” replied Alan staring at the Goddess warmly.

“ Really is it?” tanya Dewi still did not believe the words of her husband.

“Did you see the lies in my eyes?” alan asked back while looking fixed in the beautiful eyes of his wife's beautiful eyes.

“But you never said it, brother. You never said you loved me,” said the Goddess.

“What should it be?” Alan Goda.

“Iya,” replied Dewi.

“Alright, listen to me, because you will only hear this once,” Alan said as he continued to stare closely at the beautiful face of his wife.

“Goddess, I love you dear,” said Alan gently and slowly.

Hearing that the heart of the Goddess felt immeasurably happy. The sentence he had wanted to hear from the mouth of his beloved husband, even though it was only said once.

“I also love you dear, even love you very much with my whole soul and body,” said the Goddess who got a warm embrace from Alan.

“Kak Alan, then how do you feel about Renata?” tanya Dewi still kept her curiosity.

“You are, why are you suddenly talking about it? Don't know the mood. He's just part of my past, forget him, ” said Alan because he really did not know if there was still a taste in his heart for Renata.

The goddess fell asleep in Alan's arms. Alan who watched his wife's innocent sleep, commented on the sweet smile on his lips. He kissed his wife's little forehead and lips. Then he slept with his wife in the warm embrace and the gentle caress of the night wind.

The next day, Alan still saw the Goddess falling asleep beside him. He gently caressed his wife's face. However, something strange began to be felt. He felt his wife's face so cold and stiff. Although, his heart hesitated and did not want to believe the bad thoughts in his mind. He took his wife's wrist. Check his wife's heart rate. How shocked Alan was to know he could no longer hear his wife's heartbeat.

Flashback off

“Goddess, I still can't believe what happened that day. You left me with our future baby. The candidate you so wanted to see in the world. However, fate says otherwise, you and he have been picked up first by the Power,” said Alan with a sharp eye look at the sky that has begun to look dark.

***

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