Loving In Silence (MDD)
Chapter IV (Four).
Flasbacks.
“Wa’mur ahlaka bishsholaati washtobir ‘alaiha.”
“WhoooaaaAM.” once again I yawned.
“That is one of the priorities of the behavior of husband and wife who invite each other to pray in one third of the night.”
“Husst Aira, keep your mouth shut, just yawn his behavior.” while throwing a roll of paper, Nabil put the number one on his finger in front of his mouth.
“This long time ago Bill?I am very sleepy now, it is customary that this one Ustad, his studies lamaa ask ampuun.”
“Let's rest in a moment Aira, after this we immediately take our breakfast ration this morning.” continued Nabil again with his voice that is critical - critical.
Such is the activity of my pesantrenku (NURUL ISLAM) every evening before the morning.There is a study routine filled by some Ustadz seniors who said at dawn is very good to fill the heart and mind with the sciences of Allah.
\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*
Who doesn't know Ana (Aira Fatma)? The entire cottage was very memorized with the face of a tiny santri like me.
Each block is plastered my image is not the same different, why try? What else if not for SANTRI SETRAPAN display, a little bit of slow study, no memorization of mufrodad, late to musolla, and many more small violations that I accidentally did.
“Aira called Bu Nyai.” call one of the santri to me.
Tumben once Bu Nyai call me in the morning - blind morning like now, usually it will still be after Madrasah. I'm trying to remember maybe there's something I didn't finish yesterday afternoon.
Up in ndalem I searched for Nyai's mother in her room, but there was nothing.I looked for the kitchen, nothing.My bags passed in the foyer of musolla turned out that Bu Nyai was talking with Ustad Syafiq.
I didn't want to bother him, so I took a step back and took my body to the side,,,
BRUUUUKKKK,,, my feet hit the vase behind me.
“Yes Allah, Astaghfirullahal’adzim, Aira.” Spontaneous Bu Nyai turned towards the noise I made.
“Sorry Bu Nyai Fatimah, Aira accidentally, let Aira immediately clean now the fragments of this flower vase.” I bowed with shame and pleasure to Bu Nyai.
“Already let me clean later Aira.”
“Sampean return to the lodge nak Syafiq, we continue this discussion later.” tell him to Ustad Syafiq.
“Let's come with me Aira, there's something I want to say.”
“Consider Bu Nyai.”
Apparently oh apparently, you know what Nyai ma'am told me? An Aira was told to replace Bu Nyai murok santri when tomorrow he meos a family out of town.
Alamaaakk can what am I? Study time never listened, to the madrasah often late, if the night never mutola’ah, it could be this.
\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*
“KUMI AIRA!” “Anti mutakhkhiriina aidon?.” caught me, the end of taking a long shower earlier.
“’afwan Ustadzah,, that is I am late, ended this morning I took a bath looooong very.” with a collapsed vocabulary I tried to win the heart of Ustadzah.
“Quick run around the field seven times Aira.”
“Yaelah Ustadzah, I have apologized, have admitted that wrong.”
“But you are not just one twice Aira, you have been late repeatedly, even repeatedly you promise not to repeat it.”
Fatty is not playing me around the field. Good thing this leg God created, otherwise?.
Already stuck to the top of the pole one by one foot I.
I rested for a while under that very shady Belinjo tree, I wrote a little of my heart on my almost worn out Diary.
Oh, my God, that's,,,
Embrace this self when it has begun to waver in Your power
Do not let this little servant of Thy
Far away are the thorns of life without light.
Let me keep looking up asking for your maghfiroh
For you are the best light in this life.
I ended my writing because all the santri rumbled in front of Al-Azhar Block.
Usually, if it is like this, it must be a repeat value problem that is deliberately displayed on the information board.
If I just calm down, because somehow the results of my repeat value will not be far from the number 6.
“Where are your results? Increasing no?.” I asked Nabil who was also busy on tiptoes looking at the information board.
“Yaaah Aira, you alone are smarter than I always get 6, let alone me?.” is ashamed if higher than you Aira, must be caught once nyonteknya.Bisik his heart.
“As a result we together again join the repetition to the students.” I shouted while stretching out my hands.
“Oh yes Bil, I went to ndalem first yes, because a lot of work that I have not finished ashar earlier” I cut off the talk about replay quickly stepped away to ndalem.
"Take care Aira, if you see Lora Yusuf say hello to me, okay? I lope you puul.” Nabil's voice chuckles from a distance.
True guess Nabila Marissa, the lora turned out to be in her ndalem. Eits someone forgot to tell me, Lora Yusuf is the only son of KH.As’ad with Nyai Fatimah, aka the sole successor to the Islamic Nurul boarding school that is quite famous on the island of Java.
He long ago nyantri in the boarding school of Tebu Ireng Jombang, so that his return was able to make all the princess santri on caper (look for attention) to help the men in ndalem, even though the mode is only one.
Looks perfect in front of Ra Yusuf.
“Assalamu’alaikum Ra, there may be dirty clothes I want to wash.”
“Express mbak, it's in the basket.” politely He pointed to the laundry place earlier.
“If there is Ummi, ask for help say yes mbak if I do not want murok later tonight, because I am still tired, let Ummi quickly find my replacement.” while continuing to read the reading.
“Aggih Ra, God willing I say.”
I can't help but think of the many students who are infatuated with Lora Yusuf, he's handsome, clever, pious, just an incomparable perfect species.
But what's with me? I'm sane, right? Until as small as corn seeds this heart never even smitten will charisma the Lora, ooooh cook yes Aira? Then what do you want?.
\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*
“Saida,, ask for help can?. ask me on sister level.
Na’am ukhti, madza?.” replied Saida.
“Delivered to Nabil, I do not take part in the study, because it was implied that Bu Nyai cleaned chicken manure behind the pesantren.”
“Na’am uballigh ilaa ukhti Nabil.”
“Oh yes also all tell me to get my food rations later in the afternoon ya.”
Behind the pesantren there are many chicken coop, but for now only two are used, me and two other students are told to clean the chicken coop unused.
A group of santri putra clearly visible from a distance was cleaning the sewers on the right side of the highway, I saw clearly there were Ustadz Anwar and Ustadz Shafiq who were on guard. But I'm sure he won't notice any princess at the place I'm cleaning right now.
“Eh Nur, Laila, please take the pole and shovel in the princess's cottage there, let me here while continuing to throw the dirt.” tell me to both of them.
“But Miss Aira is fine alone here?.”
“Have not worried about me.”
“sana fast.”
“If there is no pole, we just take a broom?.”
“As far as you are Nur, the important thing is to reach the dirt on the roof there.” I pointed to the roof which happened to be very, very dirty.
Out inside I tried to clean the dirt alone, but the disaster that happened, my feet fell down the cage, because it coincided with Kyai's chicken coop made like the Upin and Ipin stilt house.
“AAAAKKKHHHH YES ALLAH,,, my” is dancing with all my might so that someone hears it.
“AAAAKKKKHHHHHHHH.”
“Astaghfirullahal’adzim Aira, what happened?.” it turns out Ustadz shafiq coincidentally was traveling around the cottage. He tried to lift me from the cage.
“Try ana help Aira stand.”
“AAAuuh sick ustadz.” I sat back not strong support the body with legs that seemed to be sprained.
“Good, ana help ukhti once again.”
“ASTAGFIRULLAH what the hell is Ustadz and Mpa Aira?.” suddenly Nur and Laila were pegging us who were holding hands.
“Sorry, this is not what you think.” is Ustadz Shafiq tried to defend himself.
“Then what is Ustadz like?.”
“Ustadz who taught us to keep the boundary between a Muslim and a Muslim, but why Ustadz themselves do not know the limits.” they were furious with us.
Help me to rectify this matter, O Lord.
\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*
Arriving at the lodge, I immediately told the incident to my friend Nabil, he did not respond as usual because he also knew, Nur was the care of Bu Nyai who could have directly mator to him. After I started to calm down a little, I tried to take wudlu’ to honor my Lord.
Unceasingly these lips trembled in His name, pleading that they all be given an explanation of the truth of what had happened.
I curled up to hold the crying that fell pouring out along with the sweat.I try to stay in a conscious condition so that the lafadz I said is not in vain. Now my face is wet with tears, my eyes are swollen, my knees are sore. I was still afraid to leave the room because the untrue issues had spread throughout the boarding school.I was afraid Kyai and Bu Nyai were angry with me. I'm still afraid of everything.
Suddenly only…
“Please let Aira come with me to ndalem, anti called Bu Nyai.” said Ustadzah at my room door.
I closed my eyes for a moment before finally stepping to follow Ustadzah.
Do you know what happened after that?.
PLAAK.
PLAAK..one more slap on my left cheek.
BSSRT.. kli ning kli ning, now the prayer beads drift into my nose, until I feel something flowing slowly to the surface of my nose. Fresh blood.
“I'm sorry Bu Nyai, it's really beyond my awareness, I really accidentally held hands with Ustadz Syafiq.” fell already tears my eyes.
“I know you know the religion of Aira but you need to be careful with the little things around you.” heard once his voice weakened disappointing something.
“I'm sorry Miss Nyai.” I lowered my head as much as I could so that she wouldn't see my bleeding nose. Pain I guess.
“Please betrothed to son of Shafiq now Aira."~! his final decision.
WHATAA?no way, no way this is happening.
**************
My bismillah was illuminated during the night by invoking His guidance, With the error of my eyes being tempted to chase, to run, to seek a ray.The light that will lead me to the pleasure of the Divine.
That's a little bit of writing I can write into my Diary. I don't know if I'm tired of writing, tired of smiling, remembering Nyai's decision that was too fast. I just hope a miracle comes to me.Yes, a miracle.
A few days later, there was a call for me in the delivery room.
I asked Ustadzah the call of Ustadz Shafiq.
I bowed lethargic to accept this fact, however much I did not want Him to be my companion, I was ashamed of myself. I am someone who cannot be equated with Him, both in terms of his wisdom, his knowledge, even his physicality. Be the dream of angels in Heaven.
You knew?I want a man who is romantic and attractive, unlike Him who is too boring.
Aaaaakkh…
“Assalamu’alaikum Aira.” map.
“Wa’alaikumussalam.” I replied ketus.
“I know Aira does not want to be engaged to me.”
Thank God, he finally understood
“I also don't want to force Aira to be willing to be my fiancee, therefore my purpose is to call you here to say that I am willing to move the task to another boarding school so that Bu Nyai does not force us again to get engaged.” he sighed for a while.
“Not that I want to reject His decision Aira, not that I do not want to respect Him. But I know and am very aware, if the relationship is not established on the basis of love, like a building without walls, which is futile.” he continued.
“Thank you Ustadz thank you, may Ustadz get the best mate, Amin.” I said plainly with a fluffy smile.
He also apologized and pleaded with Kyai and Bu Nyai in his ndalem.
\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*
Like the previous days, I was again struck by Ustadzah and I no longer help men ndalem, even I never again cross paths with Miss Nyai, and the youth never kissed me.
“Hei Aira.” patted my shoulder.
“Yeah Bil keget tau me.” pout made-up.
“You know not Ai, it was fitting I passed in front of ndalem, a little heard the conversation Bu Nyai with a santri.” said Nabil.
“Where said Bil?” many enthusiast.
“He makon santri it to call you.”
"Let's lie to you Bil.”
“Aira.” Oath while forming his finger into the letter V.
Hmmm what's the matter Miss Nyai it always makes my heart want to be dislodged.
Right after I muttered to myself with my heart, there was already Laila who conveyed Bu Nyai's message to me to immediately meet Him.
“dalem Bu Nyai.”
“Aira, until I rebuke a little, already do not want to go to ndalem.” Is this Miss Nyai, a little bit? Until it bleeds like that in a little say? Then in much reprimand like what?.
“Begini Aira, I accept the reason until you do not want to be engaged to son Syafiq, but I beg you very much to marry my son, Yusuf.”
"Oh Allah, what is this ordeal? I have never once been interested in Ustadz Shafiq especially with Lora Yusuf, please help my servant
O God, I never once desired to be His wife." Inner Aira.
I cry in my seat. I couldn't speak much less raise my head.
“I know sampean will not agree with what I say, I have my own reasons why I choose sampean.”.
"But Miss Nyai,, sa,,, yes,, yes, yes, Iaa, is not ready to marry him, and I do not deserve to be with Bu Nyai's son.” My voice is stammered.
“Think well son Aira, I just want to get to be the mother of my grandkids.” He emphasized his words.
"I'm sorry, Miss Nyai, I don't want to get married now, and I want to achieve my goals, and I want to tell Ms. Nyai that my father wants to come here" I said.
"When are you coming here?." Nyai Ma asked
"Now on the way to this."
A few moments later, no one spoke to us.
40 Minutes later my parents came to the dhalem Bu Nyai, and were greeted kindly.
A few moments of conversation, you go straight to the point.
"I'm sorry Miss Nyai I want to bring Aira home and stop from the cottage here, because I moved to work out of town, so I want to take Aira home, I want to take her home, I apologize again Mr. Kyai and Ms. Nyai."
"If it's a decision my father and mother can't prevent Aira from staying here." Said Bu Nyai.
After finishing saying goodbye to Bu Nyai, I went to my room to pick up clothes and books, before I left I wrote a letter to Nabil.
isi his letter
"Nabil.
I'm sorry I can't say goodbye to you, you're my best friend who's always there when I'm sad or happy,,, oya until I forgot😊😊 I stopped from the cottage here because my father moved work out of town, so I moved, sorry once again...
Thank you for your time Bestfriend."
At that time Nabil was not in his room, so Aira wrote a letter and placed it in a box between his books.
...****************...
...Assalamualaikum friends - friends...
Thanks for reading this part
Hope you guys like 😁😊😁
