Lecturer Idiot

Love Letter to Arasha

I cried in the rain, contemplating what had just happened.

Why is it that since I got into this college, my life has become more chaotic?

My self-esteem, love, love, and feelings instantly disappeared and crumbled. I am no longer who I am now. I've been killed by the tightness that surrounds my life. I am no longer Ara who can enjoy the beauty of life. The only me now, is the stupid one.

“Why all this happened to me, anyway!” I screamed as loud as I could, no matter what was going on around me.

All I need is a shoulder to lean on.

”Grep...”

Someone hugged my body from behind. I'm surprised I'm not playing. I turned back. This time, there was Morgan looking at me with a cold look.

I'm upset with him. Why did he even appear, at such an inopportune time? Supposedly, he appeared before Bhishma appeared before me just now, so that I could not hear that obscure Bhishma nonsense.

But he still cares about me. Without a second thought, I immediately hugged Morgan very tightly. I poured out feelings of disappointment, annoyance, sadness, and all my complaints to him.

My hug might make him have trouble breathing. I don't give a shit about that. All I think about now, is my annoyance.

I'm so upset about my life. I can't do anything anymore. Can only hug Morgan, while crying in his arms.

“Gan... Why the hell, why do I always suffer like this?” ask her.

Morgan just kept quiet, not budging. He just hugged me tight. Until I find it hard to breathe.

I feel bad for him. I'm afraid he feels claustrophobic. I try to get away from him.

“Don't.. don't take off,” he said as he hugged me again, holding me back.

I know it's tough for Morgan. But, it is undeniable, I already love Bhishma.

“I miss you, Ra,”, I was suddenly upset to hear it, then pushed hard until he fell out of my arms.

“What the fuck is loe? Say kangen, but never call me?” I mean, I was rude to him.

Morgan just kept quiet, while looking at me who had exploded like this. I also don't understand my feelings. I didn't expect to miss this with Morgan, when she didn't give me the news, even for a day.

Apparently, Morgan doesn't miss me that much. He was silent, with the cold attitude he had. My heart was devastated, because here, maybe I was the only one who felt unheard of.

While her? Busy to make the distance between us more and more tenuous.

“Udah angry?” ask him casually.

I'm getting less and less accepted by his words now. He really doesn't appreciate my feelings.

The feelings of women who are being hit by disappointment, confusion, and frustration. I'm getting hotter, but I can't talk to her more. It just makes me more uncontrollable.

“Kok silent? Come on dong, say it again. By the way until you are satisfied.” Tell her.

I still don't understand Morgan's line of thought. Actually, does he love me or not?

It was like seeing an enemy when I looked at him. There was no special feeling when dealing with him. Maybe, what I feel is not a longing, but a sense of loss.

But that sense of loss, it's more suitable for people who have it, not like me.

I'm nobody here.

“Can't talk, right?” tanyakanya.

I couldn't stand his attitude any more. I was furious, my anger was upset, and finally decided to leave him.

“Hap...” He pulled my hand suddenly.

Our view was forced to become a point, making me feel uncomfortable.

“Please, no!” I snapped roughly, with my eyes whizzing.

“You don't have to bother getting angry, and go leave me here. I just want to say one thing to you,” murmured, I became curious about what Morgan was going to say.

He handed me an envelope. I looked and observed the black envelope.

Whatisit?

What is this envelope, actually?

“Dispose if you do not want to read,” he said then passed away with that annoying attitude.

Why is Morgan always that cold against me? When he looked again, when he smiled, it was much better than his cold-assed attitude.

Sucks.

I looked at the letter he gave me, carefully.

If you look back, funny too, yes. He gave me a black envelope-coated letter, which was placed inside the icy plastic.

Not wet maybe? Haha.

“There is a Morgan.” I shook my little.

***

I just got home. I stumbled across my sister, who was seen being with the girl again, in the living room.

I pretended not to see it, and moved my feet quickly past them, hoping they wouldn't call me.

“Ra...”.

‘Aduh, it turns out to call also me, my inner’, who complains because reality does not match my expectations.

I stopped my steps, and now I'm dealing with them.

“Udah home?” ask Brother.

I rolled my eyeballs, folding both my hands.

“Belom.” Ketusku.

My sister doesn't seem to like my answer.

Yeah, I want you to know that I don't like the girl next to him right now. But, sister always defends Jessline, who she thinks her name is Monica.

Yeah, Jess is very sneaky in my opinion. I don't know what she wears, to captivate brother's heart, but I have to admit, the stack is very effective.

“Why you, Ra? Angry continues,” his cynicism.

I interrupted instead.

“Do not think of me, brother. Think of MONICA.” Ketusku while pressing the word “Monica”.

I went straight to my room, ignoring those who were making out.

I wonder, why does big brother always play with obscure women? He is old enough to propose to a girl. But, why would he not want to start, and instead get busy with the obscure women, who only stopped for a while in his heart?

“Hah...”.

I threw my body on the bed. I feel like my body is very tired. I was too lazy to move, even just a little.

Suddenly, I remembered something Morgan had given me. I'm slipping into my bag. I took a letter wrapped in ice plastic.

“Hem...” I smiled as I looked at him.

It's funny how he is.

Why would he think of something like this?

Then, I opened the plastic, slowly. I patiently opened the end that folded the plastic. But it's not open. I began to get impatient because I was curious about the contents of the letter.

“Duh, so hard, anyway!” my growl.

I started to get hot, and started to forcefully open the plastic. I tore it apart at origin. Finally, I was able to pick up the letter that was inside.

“Tukk..