
"What happened to Aluna? Why does he look so moody when you get home?" ask mom to approach me.
I was expecting Mom to turn into an investigator.
"Don't know either, Mom. He was fine, but after meeting Tania, he became silent, and even had a cry in the middle of the road, Mom. I'm also confused as to why she's crying."
"Awwwu, Mother why, anyway? How's nyubit?"
"Basic, fool! You really don't understand your wife's feelings? Aluna is jealous because you met Tania!"
I'm speechless. Think about what my mother said. Is it true that Aluna is jealous of Tania? It doesn't make sense. I know that people put jealousy on, because there is a feeling in their heart. Obviously Aluna didn't put any feelings on me.
"Mother don't make it up, deh. Where could Aluna be jealous. There's no feeling in his heart for me."
"You're the dumbest man I've ever known! So, do you think it's because she's crying if it's not for the sadness of knowing you already have a boyfriend?"
"Partially, you should remember, now that you're married, don't get in touch with Tania anymore. You are married now, even if there is no feeling, still have to be a real man. Don't play with the hearts of two women!"
"Yes, Mommy." I just kept quiet. Let me for now mother with her thoughts. I can't possibly tell you the truth that this marriage isn't forever.
"Have you never thought that you might have loved Aluna?"
Mother left me after being content to burden me with that statement. Do all these possibilities exist?
All this time I did not say anything to Aluna about Tania, because I think it is not important to be preached. Same is the case with us who have been forced by the color of BERTANI village to get married at that time, and until this moment did not say it to Mother or Opa Jer, because it felt it was not important.
Long time I was silent, thinking hard about my mother's words, even to the point that it takes time for myself to think, I moved to the side of the house. There is a small field that the mother worked for her place to plant several types of vegetables.
I think I need to find out the truth of my guess, but if it's true, what should I do? If not, what should I do too?
"What are you again?" My head is coming out from behind the door. I saw Aluna lying on the bed, holding a hape with her face still looking gloomy.
I know my question won't get an answer, but I keep asking. After waiting for say five seconds, still not answering, I decided to go in closer to him.
"There's something I want to tell you. You wanna hear?" ask me gently, choosing to sit on the edge of the bed. Aluna was still being nonchalant, not poking at my words.
"Well, if you don't want to listen, or you're lazy to talk, I'm out."
Not yet able to lift his buttocks, Aluna sat herself down, with legs crossed.
"What by the way?"
I intended to turn my body to face Aluna fully, but the girl's hand was pointing forward, holding my back. "Not to stay here. By the way without having to look at the cave!"
Fix it! The girl nodded. If he had spoken with lu-gua, he would have been upset. I said, keep my back to Aluna and start telling stories even though I'm not sure if my story is important or not for her to know.
"I don't know what I'm going to say it's important for you to know or not, it's just that I want to tell you. Don't know why, just want you to know."
"Udah, wanted. Long time intrinsics!"
"Tania. My only lover. And we've been in a relationship for over five years. I'm sorry I didn't give you about Tania. Honestly, I don't think it's important to tell Tania to you, because there are no feelings between us, also because I think you think this marriage is also only a temporary marriage."
"I don't know why I should tell you either. Somehow in my mind came the urge to tell you about this."
"Tania is a good girl. You're lucky to have a lover like her. Beautiful and not angry either. Most importantly, he treats you well."
"I...."
I concluded that at this moment the girl was touching herself, not to mention Digo's figure who suddenly disappeared without any news.
Silent mood. I want to feel like I'm twisting my body to see Aluna's face right now.
"I..." I want to turn off if he's okay.
"I know she's your lover. I don't want our unclear relationship to ruin your relationship. Let it be like this, don't ever say we're married. I'm your cousin's sister."
Why was it so bitter that the voice, and part of my heart ached, was uncomfortable hearing it. Why do I feel that Aluna is not okay right now.
"But this isn't fair to you, you let me meet with Tania, while you I forbid to meet with Digo."
"Not to think about. The cave doesn't want to see him anymore."
"Thank you."
"Go away. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow we have to go to school."
I comply. Although the sole of his foot felt fused with the floor, it did not want to pass from there. Why do I feel like I said Aluna was hurt?
I got up, but before I left, said the ridiculous thing that you had told me.
"Oh, yes, Al. Mom said, you're sulking, jealous of Tania. No way, right?"
There's no answer. I didn't go either. I thought that after explaining to Aluna, my feelings were calm, but they weren't.
"Where's alana?" welcome the mother who sits in the family room. Looking towards my back.
"In room. He said he'd sleep."
"Not eaten the boy."
"So we had a meal outside, Mom after reaching the bookstore. Let her rest, "I don't want to worry you.
I chose to sit back on the terrace. I want to think about something that also disturbs my mind.
All of Aluna's words ring in my ears. Even though he said that he was fine and did not mind if I kept in touch with Tania, why did I feel that it was not a truthful remark?
Why does my heart want him to forbid me from seeing Tania again? What is it with my heart? I prefer to think about Aluna's feelings rather than Tania who is clearly my lover.
I remember what my mother said before our discussion ended.
"Mom just thought, don't let you not be sensitive to your feelings at this time. Maybe your heart already loves Aluna."