Falling In The Hugs of the Earth

Chapter 4

Tok..

The sound of knocking on the door woke me from the daydream of sadness for the Father.

"Lake in!" I know behind that door must be Mom. Because there are only two of us in this house. While wiping my cheeks and eyes - which I don't know since when wet.

"What's up, Mom?"

Mom took a deep breath, as if knowing I was reminiscing about losing you. "Have you opened the letter, Fatimah?" Ask Mom who is sitting next to me on the bed.

I nodded with a smile. If I make a sound it must be hoarse and will be more caught if I cry.

"Are you ready to go to the boarding house?"

I turned towards Mom with furrowed brows as if asking "Eh? Isn't it still the night it leaves?"

"Fatima..." Mom took my hand. I'm sure you'll talk about something before I go back to Al Madani. Whether it's about the blue letter, the Fadil, or the tips, as long as it's about you, I'm not ready to talk about it.

"Fatima..." Mom repeated my name. I still didn't budge because my heart was arranging the space to receive what Mom was about to say in a moment.

"Listen, Mother." Mom looked at me intensely. "The father wrote the letter just as you were on your way home from the boarding school. As if you knew, the princess only wayangnya will come but her who has to go." My breath sounds so heavy.

"Fadeel. I used to love that guy." His eyes glanced to the past.

"Wait first? "It used to?" And now how? Do Mom and Dad know what I don't? What is that thing?" There are so many questions I want to know. But I decided to hold him back, at least until Mom finished explaining.

"But after you rethink it, being with her will definitely hurt your heart. I'm sure, whatever your decision will be, as long as you're happy with your choice, Mom and Dad will be happy there too."

I'm beginning to understand the direction of this conversation. Although not too sure about my guess, but most likely true.

"Rest" Mom went out of the room.

I was pensive to percolate Mom's sentence as well as the series of events that have been happening to me lately. It's not that both of my parents disagree if I accept Fadil's proposal. But it's about my unfinished rote until the last juz. Also about their readiness to release me into the arms of strangers. I guess all parents would, don't they?

A second later, lightning strikes. Millions of drops of sky water fell down on Earth. I hummed a smile hoping that the rain would last long until the sun fell at the foot of the sky. That means, my return to Al Madani will be delayed. I looked up at the window, staring at the rain made me think of Fadil. Yes, my future husband. Regardless, every time it rains I will happily write many poems. That must have been my feeling at that moment.

"Dear, myself" I pulled the corner of my lips looking at the first sentence in the line of poetry.

"You remember clearly, the world is a place of exhaustion. You can rest when God asks you to go home. So, uphold your intention to stay on His path even if you feel tired.

"Dear, myself.

If you are tired because of the world, then cut off the embers of your spirit because of His heaven. If you are disappointed by His creation, then ask for guidance from the Creator of the Universe.

"Dear, myself.

I hope your heart doesn't fly too high. Remembering who you are praying for comes to ask today. Because the future is a mystery...."

***

Tens of kilometers from Fatimah's house, a young man knitted his eyebrows. Massaging his forehead to reconcile his thoughts. He repeatedly sighed, weighing the decisions he took. Fadil is in a dilemma.

The wheels of the vehicle were spinning non-stop. Carrying his passengers parted the city streets that looked wet. Fadil looked at the window, his mind filled with doubt.

Drt. drt..

"Pig. The city is raining, right? Be careful on the road! I miss you 'round"

Fadil quickly moved his fingers to reply to the message.

"Thank you dear. I missed you too. More than you miss me"

Drt. drt..

"Buck!"

Fadil smiled after reading a single word in his short message. He imagined how Syifa's face was blushing because of the message from her. Yes, that message is from Syifa. Although it cannot be said 100% of his future wife, but she is the woman Fadil loves.

"Hurry back to the cottage, Syifaku. Not meeting you makes half my day cloudy because I miss"

Drt. drt..

"Emang jago yaa, if told to digegombal! Get an award nomination later"

Again Fadil smiled. Replying to a message with Syifa always makes the flowers in his heart bloom. For the past year, his heart has never moved from his Shifa. Until a will that he thought was ridiculous came in the way; proposed Fatimah. Remembering his name alone made Fadil's smile disappear.

"How is this?" Fadil muttered as he heaved his heavy breath.

"How do I convince my parents of my choice? How do I explain my current position to Syifa while Fatimah is her best friend? What do I need to do not hurt Syifa?" Inner Fadil is raging. His mood was the same as the sky at the moment. Cloudy.

The road to the city is still two hours away. Before closing his eyes, Fadil decided to contact someone from his cell phone. Before someone exchanges stories, and hurts one of them.

***

Drt. drt..

"Eh?" Fatimah stared at the confused screen of her phone when there was a message from a number she did not know

"My philosophy..." Fatimah said after reading the message.

Ahem.

"Since when have you been standing at the door?" I asked after taking my eyes off a short message.

"Who's the same news? It was so exciting like yaaa, until she smiled herself" Mother put down a tray containing tea and a few pieces of boiled cassava.

"Don't forget your personal medications" Mother reminded me of the list I needed to take to the cottage while out of the room.

"Yes" replied Fatimah. Seeing Mom leave the room, I pressed the keyboard to reply to the message. Fatimah had not yet pressed the send button, one message had been received back.

"Fatimah, I'm sorry if this message is too bad to interfere with your time. Allow me to make a deal for our good. Regarding our current status, please save it first. I'm just not strong enough to deal with the santri's response later. Hope you understand"

Again Fatimah typed something, and...

"Fatimah, please think carefully about your answer later. I'm afraid your answer inflicts wounds on many hearts. Sorry for this message."

Fatimah. "Idebrating wounds to many hearts?" A moment later Fatimah smiled. "of course. You have a lot of fans, Tadz. Including me." He never knew that Fatimah was in the heart gap.