Falling In The Hugs of the Earth

Chapter 3

"Sir." My speech. I saw the surprised eyes. It was clear that there was something he was covering up. It looks wrong while wiping the corner of his bloody lips. I'm pretty sure, if the cough I just heard was heavy and long, it looked painful.

"Fatimahs. You came home from the boarding school without informing me?"

I approached and sat on the edge of the bed. I've been home for two days. But I was just ready to face him. So for these two days, I will only see the Father when he is asleep.

"Father" I said back while hugging warmly. Wanting to cry out and questioning why you lied about his illness. I continued to hug and desperately held back the cries.

"Mr is fine.."

Huh huh? Is it not wrong to hear if you say he is okay?

"I'm sorry, Fatimah. Because I just saw my father. Also for going home without giving news" said I while breaking the arms of the Father.

"Is there a problem in the pesantren?" You look worried.

I smiled bitterly at the question of the Father. Between the two of us, it was clearly the young man who was sick. But the instincts of parents are always so, will be more worried about children and their families than themselves.

"Sir, how are you?" I answered my father's question with a question.

"Healthy dong! Fatimah can see for herself how things are, right?" Kelakar Father loudly as if he was still a mighty young man. He hinted himself strongly in front of the family. Unfortunately I caught the gelagat Mr. who was holding pain in his chest. Yeah, I guess all the dads in the world are too, right? Rarely, even barely ever show his weak side in front of the family. Rarely say dear, but it seems attentive.

"Thank God..." I tried my best to pretend I didn't know about the lung cancer she was suffering from.

***

A month ago.

"Who is Mr Ahmad's patient guardian?"

Hearing the question of the medical figure walking over to me, reflex made me stand up straight away. Squeezing the tip of the khimar with a lot of good wishes.

"Awaited doctor Sa'ad in his room. There is something he needs to tell the family of Mr. Ahmad"

Didn't ask me much to follow where the nurse was going. Heading to the doctor's room with a lot of dhikr. Expel the bad feeling that has been there since when you saw you passed out in the field. I remember vividly, the moment of how Mr. limp down after a prolonged cough. Make farmers in the fields next door bring the Father to this Puskesmas.

"Father sir Ahmad?" Ask the doctor who just entered the room and headed to his office chair.

"Why?" Ask again.

I nodded for the second time. Since I was wearing a veil, the doctor guessed my familial status with a visible look.

"So like this..... " The doctor began to explain the length and width of how the condition of the Father is currently.

I'm stunned. When the doctor said he had stage 4 lung cancer. Want to feel denial, yelling angry because they do not accept. I wanted to run and hug my father and cry in his arms. But what is this? My tongue is thick, my knees are weak.

"Most likely because Mr. Ahmad is an active smoker. Looking at his current condition, I cannot give much hope either. Only God is the best helper. Hopefully Mr. Ahmad can survive even if only a month ahead"

***

"You really don't have a problem in the pesantren?" I tried to ask back to make sure.

This time I smiled. Showing my rabbit teeth. And shook his head quickly to convince Father. "Do you really not care if your parents are sick?" My inner.

"Thank God there's no problem." My father took me into his arms. This time his embrace felt different. My gut tells me this is a farewell hug. And it's true. When I broke his embrace, my father was unconscious.

"Father" I tried to resuscitate while cupping Father's face.

Silent. There's no answer.

"Mr!" This time I was half screaming in panic. But the Father's body did not budge leaving the roar of breath that began slowly.

"Momuu.." This time I was really screaming. My eyes are wet, my hands are busy patting my cheeks. My heart makes a million good do'a for him. My thoughts? Ah, he's been busy himself with bad premonitions since.

***

At the city hospital, I hugged Mother's calm-looking shoulders. His eyeballs were soothing, but his highlight was clearly filled with a fog of sadness. We both sat on the front bench of the ICU. The doctor did not allow us to wait for him in the room. Silent. Along the way Mr. in the reference from Puskesmas to the city hospital, we were both busy with their own thoughts. Especially when looking at the condition of the Father with a variety of medical devices installed.

"Prepare your heart, Fatimah" said Mother to break the silence.

My forehead shriveled. Not understanding what Mother's words meant just now. A second later, the alarm in my room sounded. Shortly after, doctors and nurses ran into the ICU. I froze. Seeing the panic of the doctor inside made me understand the meaning of Mother's words just now. My mother asked me to let go of my first love.

"Mother.." Ogre

"Don't fight destiny, son. God knows what's best for his servant."

Other nurses arrive, carrying other tools-who don't know what her name is. A minute. Five minutes. Fifteen minutes. The doctor came out to see us with a desperate face. "What'sthis? What kind of news will we receive?" My little heart thrashed, my sane mind flatly refused. Who would want it so easy?

"I'm sorry, Mother.." See right? the opening words are so unpleasant!

"We tried the best we could. But Mr. Ahmad's health continues to decline. There's nothing we can do anymore. The patient is currently critical..."

"Fatimah!" Cut Mom off after seeing me run into the ICU. I had to ascertain the condition of my first love with my own eyes. The doctor nodded slowly, gesturing Mom to follow.

"Mr. It's Fatimah." I've had a hiccup. Father's face paled but looked so peaceful. "Wake up, Father" I clasped his powerless limp hand. Hail a kiss around my face. A second later the screen showed a straight line. My whole body is grinding

"Tidaaakk! Bapaakkk! Don't leave, Fatimah!" Despite shouting, Father still did not budge.

"Don't leave Fatimah, sir!." My voice sank with sobs "Give Fatimah a chance to serve..." My tongue is out of words. Looking at Mother who just nodded slowly as if saying "Ikhlas right, Fatimah". My body trembles. My heart raced fast as if running after the Father. Knee limp. My mind went nowhere. My view is blurred. And...

Bruk!

My shield has left without returning. I have lost a very important first love.