Enough I Know!
Prologues
‘People Without Living Load,' ‘World's Comfortable Life', ‘Loiled People'. A lot of people call me by that weird nickname.
They always say that I don't seem to have any burden in my life. Sometimes my aunt and uncle say that.
In reality, no, there are many problems buried within me. Wait, not just a lot, but a lot!
Actually, I have 3 best friends, they are always by my side, when I am difficult, and happy.
But still, when I get into trouble, I don't want to share my story with anyone else. They often urge me to tell a lot of stories. I don't want to, it can make it harder for them too.
Enough I know!
Rather than talking, I prefer writing. Write all my outpouring of my heart into a black, white-striped book. That's where all the problems that pressured me, I poured it out.
Oh yeah, about that black book, only I know where it is, nobody but me, nobody knows. They didn't even know I wrote a lot of stuff in that book.
The book knew all the problems in my life, he was the only one who knew my grievances.
It's a little weird, but that's me.
Hey, if you guys want a romance, I'm sorry I don't have one. I only have stories about my friendship.
Wednesday, 7 July 2021
~ Rain, now rain. The water specks continued to descend with a burning vigor. The more water it goes down, the more relieved the clouds are. I want to be a cloud, he can shed his load as he pleases. Whenever he wants. If I become a cloud, can I shed the rain that fills me? ~
~ This matter is squeezing me even more, squeezing my heart. If my brain could break the load, just like a garbage disposal device, it might help me take all the trouble off. Thankfully, this problem that I was suffering from, not malignant cancer, could destroy me slowly. But... Still, this matter did not make my body hurt. Except my heart. My heart is sick. ~
~ If the problem can disappear as easily as pulling and exhaling, I will not be like this. Become like a mute person who does not want to tell anything to other humans. Just so you know, I don't want to be this kind of man either. ~
~ These words I wrote in my black book. Writing does not take away the burden of my heart. But it can be a little relieved. Just a little, maybe not even a quarter of the relief filled my claustrophobic heart. It hurts, I can't open my whole grievance to others. It was as if a hand was closing my mouth tightly, very tightly. When will this hand take my mouth off? I'm claustrophobic. It seemed like he was just keeping my mouth shut, when I wanted to share my story with other humans. Why won't this hand let me complain? Does he not want me to be free from this crush? Is this hand unhappy when I live free without the slightest problem? ~
~ If I go out of the room, let the wind blow into my body, can it eliminate my problems? I don't think so. It will only keep my skin cool, not with my heart. It's free... For some reason, I always hope, the wind can blow my problems, go disappear in another wind. But it can't, it's just wishful thinking. It was just a stupid dream. Gratuitous... ~
~ Enough! No need to hope for the wind! No need to dream of becoming a cloud! There's no need to think that your brain can become like a garbage collector! No need to suppose that you can eliminate your problems as easily as breathing! You can't! ~
Marked,
Alfians.
