Destiny Love Rianti

2. Honey is Named Amira

After the magrib prayer I rushed to the kitchen to prepare dinner. While my eldest son continued his activity by reading the Qur'an and his grandfather preferred to play war.

The pain has not healed but is slightly treated by venting to the owner of the heart. Still ringing in my ears the harsh words that Galih threw at me.

[Dull, fat, filthy, withered plants of the ages]

ahhh it hurts so much.

Whereas in this pregnancy, women need a lot of attention and affection but all I get are words that make me want to die.

Mas Galihku lost inedible times. He used to be a very loving, gentle person, and what made me even more in love, he was a very romantic husband.

Praise for praise every day he throws at me. A sweet kiss on the forehead never forgets it tuning. Words of love especially like the needs of my life that he never forgot to say.

I remember very well when I was pregnant with our first child Fatih he always forbade me from doing excessive physical activity.

[don't love, let the mas only the pure, cook, clean the house, you bobo just don't be tired, I don't want you why-why dear]

Kiss after kiss will follow after the words are thrown.

[I miss the old you] I grumbled in my heart.

There is no more warmth in this house. Like strangers who don't know each other. Since this year mas Galih began to change, slowly but surely. Right people say

"wives test when the husband has nothing, but the husband tests when he has everything."

Huff...

💔💔💔

The night was getting late, I put the kids to bed in their room. I have accustomed the children to sleep separately as early as possible so that they quickly become independent, except for the youngest who still needs my ASI.

I saw Galih was busy watching TV while playing his car that I could not touch. Well behind this he's very angry if I dare touch his gawai. I don't know what the reason is and I don't ask much, let alone get suspicious.

"Mas hasn't slept?" I tried to dare to ask him.

"Not yet!" His answer was short without even glancing at me.

"I'm sorry if I'm wrong." I got out of my place and sat down in front of my husband. My tears are shed.

"I promise you, I will start taking care of the withered plant and I will make it bloom in front of you mas, I will try to wait for you with the smell of your favorite perfume, I'll try to be as slim sexy as you want after this kid's born!" I buried my face at the feet of my husband, whose heart was frozen.

"I beg you not to be cold like this, I need you right now. It needs your attention and affection. You know pregnant women are stress-prone!" I sobbed under my husband's feet hoping for a little bit of pity from Galih's mas.

Slowly but surely I felt his hand on my shoulder. This grip was very warm, I began to lift my face to dare to look at his charismatic face. I saw it, maybe he was starting to feel sorry for me.

The lifting of my body that is increasingly stretched is frowned on my forehead, ahh this is the kiss that I always miss.

"I'm sorry baby, it makes you sad." He hugged my tired body tightly because of the sadness he created. I was getting so late in my husband's love that....

Bruinsuk, brruuuuk,

The sound of the TV remote falling dawned on me from my delusion. It turns out I was just fantasizing. My position is still tightly hugging my husband's legs.

Huff......

"Name Amira. In three days she'll be your honey!" My husband said in a cold tone.

Deggs, Degg,

My heart seemed to stop for a moment, my eyes were wide open, my tongue was moaning, my breath was restrained. I can't speak anymore. Slowly I stood up and walked wordlessly leaving behind the Galih mas whose heart had frozen.

"It's not honey mas but poison! The poison is slowly killing me!" I said a few words to her before leaving her.

💔💔💔

I went in very slowly, afraid to wake up the children who were asleep. I lay the little body of the youngest beside his brothers. While I choose to sit in the corner of the room to just calm down the increasingly confused.

I sobbed, crying without a sound remembering the words of Mas Galih.

[her name is Amira, in three days she will be your honey]

It hurts so much, it hurts so much.

Tears poured down like flood water that escaped from the dam. I hit my body and kept blaming myself.

[Self you are dull, dirty, fat etc], I rebuke myself.

[O God what is this, what is my fault in You Lord that you have punished me so severely] I grumbled in my heart. I'm starting to blame this fate that I don't think is fair.

"Astagfirullahhaazim, astagfirullahhaazim, astagfirullahhaazim!" I buried my head on my knees that I purposely folded, while beristighfar and crying.

"Lahallah walakuwwata illabillah, Lahallah walakuwwata illabillah, Lahallah walakuwwata illabillabillah!" I continue with dhikr.

I lifted my face, and changed my sitting position because it felt tight, my stomach was like being pinched. I straightened my legs, and leaned my head against the wall of the room while staring at the ceiling of the room, for a moment I looked at the children who were sleeping soundly.

[I must not be weak, for the sake of the three knights and also the child-to-be whom God has entrusted to me. They need my spirit, they need my happiness, they need my attention]

I continued to stare at the ceiling of the room, my mind drifting away, slowly my eyes began to close.

"Ummi, ummi wake up, we pray Tahajjud ummi," the soft touch on the cheek and Fatih's words shocked my son. I was asleep earlier.

"Our dear Ummi we pray Tahajjud yuk!" He repeated his words.

I've always been happy with my eldest son's treatment, caring and so dear to me. He was only eleven years old but his attitude was like that of an adult.

He never said anything rude to me. Gently speak, whether it's to me or someone else. He always helps me in everything that concerns the interests of the household, such as washing, sweeping to mop the floor, sweeping the yard, bathing his adek even to give them food.

About achievement, Fatih my son is always the first champion in his class. From TK level to fifth grade SD now, he still remains the best.

My son is a Hafizh Qur'an, juz thirty he has memorized everything. In school he was always selected for the Mathematics, Science and Science Olympiad and last time he participated in an English speech competition and always ranked first. I sent Fatih to a modern school based on Islam, I want him to be good morals and good achievements.

"Ummi, let's ummi pray." this time he held my hand.

"Dear dear," I answered as I got up from my seat assisted by Fatih.

Fatih continued to hold my hand, she led me to the ablution near the kitchen.

[Ahh Fatih my son, may you God give me long life to continue to take care of me in the world] I whispered in my heart.

After ablution we set foot to the mosque to perform the Sunnah Tahajjud prayer which continued with Sunnah Witir prayer in imami by Fatih my son.

[AllahuAkbar]

Fatih began to say takbir sign at the beginning of prayer. I followed as a mum behind Fatih. I'll open my heart in the third of my night. Trying to be patient with the tests given by the owner of eternal love, strengthen yourself from problems. I buried my face in a long prostration, I poured out all my complaints about this mortal world upon Him.

[O Allah, the love of the husband is but a deposit, while Your love is eternal, so set my heart only in love with You only O Rabbi] my prayer in the last bow that Fatih deliberately extended.

[Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi, Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi, while looking right and left] greetings have been said to signal the end of prayers. Fatih continued by praying to his Lord and I accepted his prayers.

"I love you because of God ummi." He expressed love for me followed by a kiss on the back of my hand and my forehead. I cried being treated like a queen mother by my son.

"Don't cry ummi, what a cry you made Fatih feel like she failed to serve you." This time he was sobbing with words like an adult.

"Ummi loves Fatih because of God too" I returned with a hug and kissed her.

Scroll clock, time still shows at 02.30 midnight, dawn time is still far away, I decided to sleep first. I took Fatih to the bedroom to sleep. I set myself beside my youngest son Shafiq and Fatih beside his younger brother Syamil.

Seriate...