Destiny Love Rianti

15. Message to Hafizh

"I'll love you all my life." This is one of the worst words I know now. In fact, the whole life that Galih meant was a lifetime for him to lie to me.

This great disappointment left a trauma to my faith. Making my heart always filled with suspicion if later and later I accept mas Hafizh, I fear he will act like mas Galih.

It's too cruel the world of love that I've experienced. I hope my love story will end like the love story of the Prophet Prophet with Siti Khadijah's mother Radhiallahu Anha who remained loyal to each other until the death of her mother Siti Khadijah. Even until Siti Khadijah died, the Prophet still remained faithful to love him. Until the revelation to the Prophet to marry Siti Aisha Radhiyallahu Anha.

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After a long time we spent together in the living room. I'm taking the kids to the room to put them to bed. This room is the main room that I occupied along with the Galih mas first, which I had converted into a room with me and the children. The main room is large enough to accommodate several beds for children.

The bed I used to wear with mas Galih, I have sold to a junkman used goods. In addition to being a witness to many monks quarrel between me and Galih mas, also because I was disgusted because the bed was also used by mas Galih and Amira at the time of their bride's night.

***

The kids are asleep. Their longing feelings have paid off after a long time talking to Mas Hafizh via video call.

Especially Fatih, he was the longest to talk with mas Hafizh. All the activities he did today he told the man he called Om. A gush of happiness emanated clearly from his face, a laughter released smirked from his mouth. I've never seen Fatih this happy.

After Galih's marriage, Fatih became a quiet child. It's not as happy as it used to be. Sometimes I find him crying while praying. I also often get reports from his teacher's mother, that Fatih is no longer active in his class. He is more often daydreaming and alone.

I understood his feeling that he had lost his father figure in his life. Fatih was the first child to gain the affection of Galih. So it is no wonder that he felt such deep sorrow when Galih preferred other women over us, his wife and children.

"Patient well son," I said softly and kissed Fatih's forehead who had just fallen asleep.

Apparently Fatih had not fully fallen asleep. He opened his eyes and woke up from his sleep.

"Ummi hasn't slept?" Fatih asked as she rubbed her eyes.

"No boy. I can't sleep."

"Must think of abi again. Fatih hates abi," he said.

"Let her abi you son. You can't hate him because he's your parents." I kissed her hand gently.

"But Abi left us alone." There was a look of anger on Fatih's face. Understand that he is the oldest child, and the most understanding of the mistakes that Galih made.

"Let Abi be the bad one, son. You don't follow evil, yeah."

"Yeah, ummi" he answered.

"Here's the ummi hug."

Fatih hugged me. I'm lucky to have a child like Fatih. Who always supported me when I was about to fall.

For a moment I thought. Do I have to ask Fatih's opinion also about the answer I have to answer to Mas Hafizh? Well maybe I should do it, considering that Fatih also contributed to my life. What is my decision today will also affect Fatih and his sisters.

Slowly I let go of her embrace. I held both of his cheeks. Staring sharply at both of his neutrals.

"Fatih agrees not if ummi gets married again?"

Fatih just shut up. He was confused by the answer he had to give.

"Who will play with Fatih and his sisters if ummi gets married again."

"Ummi will definitely be busy with a new father and will not love any more Fatih and the sisters."

Fatih's answer was unexpected. Apparently Fatih was also traumatized by the mistakes made by his abi. Mentally fragile, I'm afraid this will make his psychic disturbed. I would be very sorry if in the future, this trauma would disturb the soul of Fatih my son.

I don't think my tears just fell. Unfortunately, the fate of my son, must come to think hard on what should not be his business.

I still hold her. Apologized for putting him in this position.

"I'm sorry ummi yah kiddo." My embrace is getting tighter. How deeply my mind found the fact that my son was holding a psychic burden all by himself.

"It's not ummi's fault. It's Abi's fault." He plainly gave a statement.

"Well son, ummi will not marry again. We'll be together without anyone else in our lives." My crying is getting out of control.

"But Fatih is also sad, complex mothers are often bad-bad gosipin ummi" he said.

"Don't beat them, son. What matters ummi is not what they talk about." I kept hugging her, hoping that this hug would give her strength.

"Who would want to marry?" Fatih got up from my arms and looked at me.

I don't know what I should say. Should I say that Mas Hafizh proposed to me? Immediately shame enveloped me.

"Ummi's answer." Fatih shook my hand spoiledly.

"Om Hafizh proposed to ummi."

"Om Hafizh? I want Om Hafizh to be my father." Her face turned happy. I can only shake my head at his behavior now. Suddenly he became very chatty by telling me all the things he did with Mas Hafizh. Do not forget all the compliments he addressed to Mas Hafizh. Is that how close Fatih and Hafizh are?

"Ummi answered Didn't you tell Om Hafizh?" Ask curiously.

"Have gone to bed, tomorrow school, later if the bad luck of the building, you can be late to school." I did not answer Fatih's question and immediately told her to go to sleep. Luckily Fatih did not force the soul into his curiosity and obeyed my orders. He threw his body into the bed and said good-bye to me.

***

After putting Fatih to sleep I went out of the room to meet Ani's mother, but it turned out that for so long I talked with Fatih until Ani's mother who was waiting for me was asleep in her room.

I decided to perform the Sunnah prayer before choosing to nourish the soul to the bed.

Begging for confidence in the decisions I have made. May this decision be the best decision for the continuation of my life and the children.

***

I have already performed the Sunnah prayer. Before deciding to travel to the dream world, I took the time to send a message to Mas Hafizh.

[YES]

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