DESTINY IS NOT WRONG

And Destiny answers

　

　

　

After I returned to my homeland, there was nothing I could tell and indeed too much later what I got from there, of the three countries and two continents that I wrote in sheet by sheet of this living manuscript. In addition to my gratitude and happiness that can not be counted again with the number digits in the calculator. Even if I write it may take a long time, hundreds or even thousands of sheets that I write are not enough to browse day by day from this life diary.

But this is the page of the answer that I have been living, and I was still losing fast with what happened, beyond the calculation of the point of light of the second conspiracy, I was unable to delay, too, speed up or guess what it will be like. Because, this destiny is not the same as writing a novel, which we can determine for ourselves what the ending of everything is like, the diary that I wrote was still losing fast with the way of life that God had written in Lahul Mahufdz.

It cannot be engineered, it cannot be sweetened or bitter with its children, it is destiny and only God has prerogative. In His hands is good the way of life of a person but all of it again becomes the right of His servant to choose, to think or to think badly of God. If we ourselves consider the difficulties and problems of life to be a difficult burden to face, then it will be difficult also the path that we will go through.

And remember, justifying people is arrogant, especially giving bad judgment to God, what God gives is the best, rely on Allah in the way of doing Qadha before the fall of Qadar from Allah. It makes us feel more comfortable and safe, rather than having to be agitated, confused with what we have to live.

This journey of life, makes me more mature in thinking, about the death that is definitely coming and just waiting for time, just to say, about sustenance that is not only a material opportunity for longevity has become a gift or sustenance of its own, heeem and soul mate?! I chose silence and did not answer, for

people who expect to be my life partner still can not determine the attitude.

I just kept trying to chase after him who I believed was true love and deserved to have. Even if falling up and chasing him, because I realized as hard as possible the stone will be eroded also with a drop of water. That's how I answered about the soul mate I'm chasing now, and be careful not to fall a second time, enough Julie to be my attitude of hunting, I don't have to regret it, assuming it's not my sustenance or vice versa.

And Vega who I think is a substitute and the answer of a soul mate that I have to go to and I have locked my heart for another. This is how I do not open opportunities and give false hopes that I myself do not like to be lulled with false hopes and grandiose promises, which later I am disappointed and have often faced this kind of thing, I have faced, until I choose to rest my hope on the sure owner of the promise, God.

Like that I chased Vega and asked him to be my companion, but before I had laid this hope on God alone, I included his name in every prayer temple, I hope to God there is an answer I can get. And this isn't the first time I've seen Vega no longer active

social networking, because it was only in that place that I knew the news and what he was going through.

This is the last news I found from his facebook account, the more I don't understand what's behind all this?! He learned to be close to Him. Or just an ordinary set?!

I'm trying to reach him, find out about the girl who's in a few days becoming the most important part of my life, because the results of yesterday's shooting are being edited and burned and the filmmaking process has entered post-production, at this stage the film is edited, and the film is edited, so that the images fit exactly with the storyline and scenario that I have made. After finishing editing and then go to the laboratory to be duplicated. If shooting does not use a celluloid camera, then before distributed the film must be blow-up first to celluloid format and then duplicated.

Within a few weeks, I had started entering the promo period of the film, and this stage I had to be more intensive to continue maneuvering and often meet with Vega.

“Assalamu’alikum. How are you?” I used to start talking on the phone.

“Aalhamdulillah's. You alone? Already home?”

“Kok know?”

“Didisplay mobile phone your number is back as usual.” My voice was a little bit raucous.

“You're not well yet?”

“Cause of ordinary cough. Eeeh dooong story, akaaa who ran out of sightseeing abroad.”

“Aaah ordinary course, it is precisely you who are good often fly free-and paid anyway.”

“It was a long time ago when I was a flight attendant.”

“I am out of the country also work and only a few days walk. Oh yes, the day after tomorrow can we meet?”

“Findings?! Emmm, insyallah huh? I can't promise you fear hope later.”

Vega knew that I did not like to be promised, so I did not expect too much and waited for the time to meet with hope.

“I try far away I tell you.”

“Hopefully can yaah? You see I also want to take the orphans for a walk and I want you to come.”

“Insignah. I pray first and rest huh? Assalamu’alaimum.”

“Wa’alikum salam.”

Just as he hung up the phone, this heart continued to put on hope that was not entirely but a little distracting to the mind. “Every time I called he never wanted to talk like that.

There are certain times to be able to find his mood, when it can only be found a fun time to talk more.

Less than an hour later, and this moment was a step since I knew Vega, if there were no problems or unimportant talk, he would not be able to contact me, this means that there is something that the girl wants to say.

“Assalamu’alikum.”

“Wa’alaikum salam.” I answered his greetings on the phone.

“Just want to tell you insyallah I can nemenin you go for a walk with orphans. If there is no obstacle, then? That's all I want to say. Assalamu’alaikum.”

I just heard what he said and answered his closing greeting, just a few seconds he called, really a strange girl.

“Wa’alikum salam.” I ended that short conversation.

To Vega that talk might be mediocre, but to me?! I had to go back agitated waiting for two days and then all I would face for those two days was counting the clock so slow it was ticking, and then the clock was counting, it was during those 48 hours that I had to wait patiently for news and reassurance from him. And indeed the streets with the orphans were planned from the beginning, there were two agenda events that are considered my personal problems but facilitated by the PH, he said, proposed to Vega at the planned primary gala screening four days later, after the orphanage had already taken place.

And the next agenda that I've heard from the management company, for the primary gala there is a romantic moment that they want to give me and it's a surprise in itself, I also don't know what it will be like.

Mas Febry already knew of my plans to propose to Vega, and he was also the one who planned the session, the event game. All I know is that Belunni Entertainment has invited the infotaiment and entertainment media. Both print media, electronics and media portals that will later perpetuate the historic moments of my life.

Regardless of whether it is accepted or not my intention to ask Vega Putri Nafisah. The girl who only twice I met the rest of our communication is only limited to cyberspace and telephone only. But for me it's not a problem and I like it that way, so the chances for me to be an adulterous eye are somewhat reduced.

“The fate of my soul mate is in sight, I choose you not without reason Vega, instead you are the girl who has an important role in my career, until I become like this and you follow all the stories. Now is a good time to give you a special gift, when the camera eyes are aiming at you, when these lips long to call ’sayang’ and hearts are locked for girls besides you.

Waiting is a difficult job for me to do, but I am willing for you, for my dreams and for my future, I want to be patient waiting for something that I consider to be a waste of time, but my faith is greater than my common sense that has been embedded in your love. You water again the heart that was once barren and forgot how to fall in love, just the presence of you gives a new color in my life. Just counting the days alone, the answers from the mysteries of life and about my soul mate will be answered.

You are the star in my heart and the one I lead in every step of my life. I believe that only a great man can accompany a great woman, and a great woman only for a great man. Now in the creed of my love, let me call upon your name, and be the answer to all the do’a that I convey to Him The Owner of the Heart, the Exalted of Love and Lovers, and the, King of Kings’ I now leave all this business to Him to make you Queen in my heart and life, like Solomon when he pledged love to Bilqis.”

　

　

All I have prepared, including an office car that I can use at any time if I need it. There were some gifts and eye cendra that I deliberately bought for Vega, starting from the Night Sedap Flower that I knew he liked to put in the corner of the room, I brought also some hijabs and caftans, and I did not want to, and some souvenirs from Mecca and Germany, plus the Jersey I bought directly at Giuseppe Meazza, San Siro. Although I myself do not understand and do not know the development of the world of football. The whole car was full of souvenirs I brought to the girl who had snatched my heart, Vega.

I can't wait to meet him in person, I'm sure he'll be happy with what I'm carrying because all of this stuff is the result of me finding out his favorite by looking at and unpacking all the photos on his facebook account, and my approach all along.

“Bismillah, may today be a beautiful day.” While I was looking at Vega Profile Photo in Whats App.

It seems like I feel in love again, and sometimes like to laugh at myself, why my behavior is also like ABG who is drunk with love. It is truly love that can change the character of people and I believe, it is all a gift of the power of love. Obviously, today is the most beautiful day of my life.

After making sure everything was ready, there were three cars leaving and the orphans were waiting for me from the morning. About twenty people who participated, the mangement brought their own vehicles and one bus took the children, while one travel car was prepared to carry logistics.

“Bang Haidar when is the way? Piyan Bete here waiting!” Chirp Piyan my little friend.

“Baby? In a moment, bang Haidar again wait for one person who wants to come with us for a walk, kasian if left.” I tried to calm down the boy I knew as diligent and influential in leading children of his age.

An hour passed, I began to get nervous and tried to contact him many times, this emotion was no longer under control, I tried to take ablution water and ask for time to pray two rakaat. To Belunni's own side that already looks agitated.

“Mas, I pray for a moment huh?” I asked Kang Bang Berman and Mas Febry for permission.

“Casual Haidar, all already existing ngatuuur.” Febry tried to comfort me or corner me, either...

I prayed two absolute prayer rakaats, as an antidote to my annoyance. I tried to be prejudiced against Vega, but this chest kept on stirring and emotion.

“Ya Allaaah why everything is like this!!” I took a deep breath, I asked and gave all my life to God.

It is with a heavy heart that I leave Vega, no matter what happens. It's my decision

last and will not change my unanimous intention to let go. Though it was hard for me to erase all my dreams and hopes with him.

“Haidar, tomorrow the primary gala and the invitation have been spread. There's Edo and Lucky

take care of tomorrow's event. It is likely that tomorrow's event we start at one noon until eight at night, prepare the energy and take care of his health. Start many events agenda that Mas Haidar must follow after the primary gala. And for Mas sama Vega's application event we after the concres and it's still many invited guests who come, before watching together.”

I just fell silent and didn't say much, because I didn't know Vega's news myself. Obviously, it disappointed me today. And no more dreams for tomorrow for me, all I cancel.

“The proposal was canceled, did Mas?”

“Loooooooooooh koook!!!” All eyes were on me, as if waiting for the answer of a carefully prepared plan. To the extent that Kang Belman who was cool behind the wheel chose to pull over on the lip of the road, surprised by my question.

“Judah just like this, the schedule remains what we have made. For technical matters such as Mas Haidar want to shoot or invite the flight attendant married it we see the condition, how?” Kang Belman provides the best solution.

“I follow Mas-Mas schedule aja deeh!”

“Ok, so tomorrow's schedule is safe?” Febry made sure again.

“Insyallah safe Mas.”

Right now is the right time for me to be able to get out of the hopes and beautiful dreams that I myself do not know with the decisions I take, is it true or not?! Or this is just a momentary emotional speech that I can't stand anymore and I have to be able to sort and make my heart comfortable.

“Yes Rabb, give me Your guidance. Will the mystery of the fate of a soul mate that I do not understand with all this.” My words in my heart and my eyes blankly glare far behind the window of a luxury car that for a lifetime just this time I feel.

I must enjoy and be grateful for my vow which on this day has paid off already, my long-term ideals prepared. This is the answer of all my dreams, which were finally answered in the pages of hope that I framed beautifully in my prayer.

Today I have to enjoy even though the atmosphere is not as beautiful as I imagined.

“If you were here Vega.” I said as I held the Paul Maldini doll I bought directly from San Siro.

This daily one I enjoy all kinds of games in a recreation center in North Jakarta, I like to recall the memories when I was accused on the bench of Kanak-Kanak Park, and indeed that was the last I felt recreation in this place. And for decades, I returned to a place that is a priority recreation place in Jakarta.

My mind no longer knew and direction, concentration was gone. I just sat pensively in a cafe in the shopping center, in this place is a few hours away from the most important event in the history of my creative and entertainment world. And when this is the peak of my career that must still be maintained, that is the hardest thing I live.

To unwind my saturation, I just saw the lady was so busy preparing for the event including the Team Management production house, I deliberately secluded myself just to calm my mind because this event looks so official, so, like the Hollywood event, there was a red carpet stretching from the front of the entrance and ending at the table I was sitting at.

This is the highest place of achievement that I have, all the blessings of God and as a special gift when popularity is within the grasp of the hand, and dozens of camera eyes will be turned to the figure of a man who is considered a dreamer and long-dreaming of this. Careerally I did win, but I wore a mask of falsehood that I was the man who lost in search of a partner

lived.

And one by one the invited guests had come, occupying the seats that had been prepared. At the forefront were the names of important guests, including national figures and cultural figures, including guests from consulate offices for countries such as Germany and the United Arab Emirates. And mamah herself was aligned with them, in the second row seat there were people closest to me who were deliberately invited as special guests.

However, the number one bench that I deliberately ordered and prepared by the organizers still looks empty. I dined from a distance full of anxiety.

“Mas, guest invitation for seat number one is yet to come?” I asked Mas Lucky for whom he was responsible for the dissemination of the invitation.

The man opened the sheet of paper in his hand. Seemed so busy looking for the guest list.

“That chair for Vega Princess Nafisah Mas.” I immediately gave the answer to my question, but I just wanted to confirm his presence.

“And indeed, already from yesterday I called the number that Mas Haidar gave can not be contacted. Until this morning the phone was not active.

Just get a report from me, OK! Not follow my assignment yo?” The dialect of the Japanese language is still thickly heard.

“Siiip! Mas, tanks yah?”

“Ok.”

In a few hours the show will begin, it appears that a pair of hosts are ready

behind the stage and I'm still restless hoping Vega can attend. I tried to contact, starting from whats app, chat on facebook until the last I phone was not active.

“I must learn not to depend on him life must continue I live, hopefully I can face all this and I make sure without him present, this event must go according to plan. There are some agendas to be cut. You must be able to Haidar!! Remember that! In front of you are waiting for a dream

which has made you restless, ask in your do’a not just because of trivial things you damaged everything that was planned long before you knew Vega. And when the eye of the camera continues to hunt you, it is an opportunity that will not be repeated in your lifetime. You can also get more

from Vega. You should be able toaa Haidar!!!..” This whisper of heart fights worry and anxiety.

This finger clenched to cover all the segments in the palm of my hand, I clasped and tightly clenched to keep encouraging me. And the MC's voice has been heard opening this event marked that soon my name will be called to sit in the chair that has been provided. Butiiii.I still can't afford to.

looking at the number one seat in my right corner still looks empty, uninhabited.

“Where am Iaang?!” These lips still kept on calling out and this heart also still continued to mention the name of the girl.

Until finally I had to completely leave Vega who was almost a few months so close. I kept finding out that this two-day-old girl had suddenly disappeared for no reason and for no reason I knew, I was like a person who hesitated to cross the river that I was sure I could, he said, until my doubts were dragged down by the river. Such was the picture of my relationship with Vega, he hung all of it, of a commitment which he himself did not give any clarity about the status of this relationship.

At first I was not sure, but often communication makes me dragged the flow of feelings until this happens, so, my common sense is like dying without being able to think logically and being lulled into feelings that end up damaging this heart again.

Until the event was over, he did not call me just sorry or anything, I had three times hesitated to release it, and it was time I deleted all social networking accounts, including my phone number, I'm Block.

“Sorry Vega, I may be the most stupid person in the world, forcing to have you who I so beg and slay to ask you to be my life companion.” My eyes continued to pay attention to the photos on the twitter account that became the first account for me to delete, after that whats app, line, path, cocoa and the last facebooknya.

In the dim lights of the building whose light remained faithful to me, when all the crew and management had returned or maybe they were feeling tired, I was still in the event venue alone. I leaned back on the number one seat, the one I had reserved all day long for the special girl

in my life, there were originally some names like Astary, Azka that I thought they deserved to be my life companion and replace Amel, the woman who told me about the wounds and trouma, but in fact they did not. Until finally my heart was shackled by my own feelings by that wingless ‘pigeon’, Vega.

Real now! What became man's plan, and as powerful as anything we pursue and

trying to defend, to be grateful for what I have got when God says NO, no one and no force can change it.

In seat number one, in the VVIP room I was pensive for a while, evaluating and introspecting again, “What is the way of my life?! What is my fault until how tired he is for me to find a halal lover, when sustenance continues to rain on me, when the peak of my career is in my grasp, when popularity becomes my daily meal, I became a loser by my own destiny. My tears do not answer enough of the mystery of life that only God knows.

“Tuhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, what was my fault that you punished me like this?!”

When this heart began to feel weary, at the time of exhaustion I blamed myself and my destiny, when my mind was no longer able to answer about my own sustenance, soul mate and death. Along with that, I found gaps and points of light that in the end, I felt something was wrong in my intentions, something less straight with my practice, he said, to the point of zero when this self feels completely surrendered to the full strokes of life's destiny, unconsciously my mouth and this cheek wet with tears,perhaps this was the climax of a quest I never found the answer to, I began to tire of blaspheming my own destiny.

"ILLAHI ANTA MAQSUDI WARIDHOKA MATLUBI, ATINI MAHABBATAKA WA MA’RIFATAKA"

“Yes my God, You are my purpose and pleasureThat is my purpose. Give me the ability to love You and be compassionate to You"

This is the answer to my search, of the destiny I blasphemed, of the destiny I never knew what it would be like. I continue to believe that whatever God gives me, be it sadness and pleasure and other good luck, and that Qadr is best for me. Then for what I regret and restless with the way of life that has been written in Lahul Mahfudz. Now, I feel calm and completely resigned to what happened after this.

“God, is there still a destiny sheet I can write?!”

When I give up all my business, including the soul mate who has not been answered until now. The high heels were disturbing the daydream, the sound was coming from behind me, I was moving from the number one seat, from the VVIP room and looking for the source of the sound, these eyes were trying to penetrate and guess even though the view was limited, because the space is dark and only in my chair is left to stay lit.

Oh, apparently the woman with long hair, wearing jeans kept coming towards me. The light from behind the entrance continued to lead her, the woman continued to approach me and browse the red carpet, so it looked graceful. For a long time approaching and continuing to approach, until I was hypnotized by his presence, I never really expected and never terbesit the face that is now standing in front of me.

“Haidar, congratulations? Your dream has finally been answered. God is so close to you and now embraces you with His love.”

I still did not expect, and this girl was never in the verses of do’ me, which I considered impossible to come back. Or lest I forget, there was once a do’a stuck in the dimension of time, and could this be the answer from do’ me?! I was silent and not a word came out of my mouth, still not expecting the figure of the girl who was now standing in front of me.

“Without you knowing, I have heard much about you from Mas Edo, your perseverance, your faith and your resignation through every life story. And now I come face to face with a great man, who disappeared ten years ago, your sincerity forgives me, and allows me to wander in another heart. Now, and now is the right time for me to give myself completely for you. I'm sincere to be your half-hearted.”

“But we are different?! No one has changed my beliefs and beliefs, and

it never was and never will be able to bring us down, right?!”

Her big smile grew and her eyes were so sharp that I did not

bowed unable to see it.

“Haidar, nothing is impossible if He has said.”

“And in my religion there is no coercion for you. This religion is a religion, a,

submission, "surrender to God" and religion that believes in one God.”

“I am an adult and have the right to make choices in my life.” “Then what about your parents?!”

“Mamah-Papah I have given understanding and they also believe that you are able to take responsibility, that is enough for those who already know

you, especially mamah who wishes you were his daughter-in-law.” “Then we are different

confidence?”

“Ya.” The girl nodded her head and still smiled.

“And one thing you should know Thea, I no longer know the term

dating.”

“Daaaan you need to know also Mr. Haidar who is disturbed....I was tired of the name dating, you should understand it?!” Her potent style made me, reopening the story ten years ago, she was indeed a spoiled girl, and understood my circumstances.

“So?!”

“Jadiiii...The conclusion from me coming to your event is just to congratulate and challenge a great man to marry me?”

I still did not expect and thought this was just a dream, and I made sure again that this girl standing in front of me was really Alphany Septhan Thea, the girl who was separated ten years ago, and when he decided on me because of different beliefs.

Why did it suddenly come back? Is it because I have now become a public conversation, until he finally wants to?! I don't think Thea is that type of girl and long before I knew the entertainment world back, she was already famous with her dancer. Or wealth?! Even that I think not, his parents are still able to provide him with luxurious apartments and houses, because his papa is a senior contractor and has an electrical panel distribution business.

“What is the reason you want to marry me?”

“Haidar, love comes without reason, it comes with complete surrender, it is blind to matter and whatever it is that makes excuses. Love comes when there is no reason to give yourself up to the one you love. So if I am able to give that reason, you should question the purity of my love for you and that love is never wrong to choose. You have to understand that, ok?!”

I no longer have any reason to choose Thea to be

my life companion, though I myself still have questions, where is Vega? There was with that girl who had suddenly disappeared.

One day later, I found an answer when I tried to delete his remaining Facebook account. There was uploaded a photo of a friend named Bunga with Vega condition in the intensive room complete with medical equipment attached to his body.

“Masyallaaaaah, Vegaaa!”

And I tried asking for Bunga's mobile number, to find out the last news from Vega. After I found out that Vega was treated five days ago, I both Thea went straight to the Hospital that treated her.

I was really panicking and it was dark to follow the rules on the highway, and the first time I drove an office inventory car, it was just my driving skills that were less adept. I'm trying to catch up with time, because today there's a talk show agenda on some radio. I posted traffic signs and went wrong on the highway, which made me panic even more.

“Haidar's slow down, don't be in a hurry huhaah?” That voice cooled my heart that was shrouded in anxiety.

Until arriving at the hospital, there is still something wrong, this place is indeed so spacious and difficult to find intensive space. I found out Vega's condition from the hospital's infromation, the news I found was enough to make me sock.

“Vega? The patient's name has entered the morgue mas, at 8 this morning”

These tears fell and soaked my cheeks, all over my body weak and helpless, these ears still could not receive news like this.

“Whyaaaa you didn't tell me you were sick!” My regrets in my heart.

That soft hand rubbed my tears, back and stroked my hair finely, he tried

calmed me.

“Do not excessively lament the sorrow of my dearuu, and is not something very reasonable, there is a meeting there must be a farewell.”

The fingers of the girl continued to hold tightly to each segment of my fingers, as if from body language and the look of her face hinted at one heart language,” Now you have me, as if from her, which will continue to block your tears when you cry Haidar.”

I asked the hospital to allow me to see the corpse of the dove that he could no longer afford to flap its wings. Now he flies into the afterlife without his wings, and closes his own destiny. I haven't apologized yet, I haven't been able to accompany her when the girl picked up her death alone. Twice I lost the man I love, Dad and now Vega.

After getting permission from the hospital, we rushed to the morgue with the hospital attendant escorted. They asked me to wear medical clothes that had been prepared complete with masks and anti-septic gloves. When one of the officers uncovers the white cloth, my cry breaks to see the body now lying in bed alone. Without the people closest to him, or maybe they have not arrived to take his body.

“Don't Mas....!!!” Officers forbid me to touch his face even for that

last time.

“Fear that the virus is still active, the deceased is diagnosed with Hepatitis C, and contagious.” That officer

showing her medical records.

Yes Allaaaaaah! This is the reason you forbid me to just hold your fingers at that time?!!!You don't want me to touch it until your body I can't have for a minute. Thea held my hand which forced her to hold the face of the girl who was now hiding in a smile from her pale lips.

“Why did you keep this a secret from meuuuu?!!” My regrets are becoming.

My time was running out and the two officers escorted me out of the morgue, My Merpati is now leaving a love story that has never been answered. A herd of genushepacivirus has now silenced all his dreams and hopefully, he is too young to die.

“Goodway my dove, destiny now answers all the secrets of your love. God's Moga

forgive all the sins you have committed, and accept all

even a kindness as small as an atom seed.”