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On December 10, Gustavo and I discussed Numa's situation. Gustavo was worried that the wound on Numa's back body was no longer visible meat, only bones. I then approached Numa.
"How are you doing, Numa? " Tanyaku while sitting next to him.
Numa smiled slightly, "I don't think I'll live much longer."
I looked into her dead eyes. He accepted his death bravely, and I honored him by not lying to him.
"Try to hold on. We'll be climbing soon. We're going west."
"To the west is Chile, "He said slowly.
"I'll get there, or I'll die."
"You'll make it, Nando. You're strong."
"You must also be strong, Numa. You'll see your family again. "
Numa smiled strangely. "I think a lot of people die regretting all the mistakes they make in life, but I have no regrets. I've tried to live my life well, I've tried to treat everyone well. I hope God sees all my good intentions." He looked at me and said again, "I'm ready, Nando."
The next morning, December 11, Numa was dying. He died the afternoon.
That's enough, I said in my heart. Thats enough. Time to end this story. I'm looking for Roberto off the plane. He was leaning against the outer wall of Fairchild.
Roberto looked at the mountains to the west. I saw that he was shaken by Numa's death.
"Yes. I ready. Time to go."
.....
It was our sixtyth day in the Andes. I sat in the seat of the plane we pulled out, facing towards the mountains that were blocking our way home.
As night fell, the largest mountain range I was about to climb grew darker and more and more eerie. I do not see this mountain as my enemy, it is only a great, powerful and cruel mountain. It was very difficult to convince myself that finally the day I had been waiting for and feared was near.
My mind is haunted by many questions. How does it feel to freeze to death? I wondered. Will it hurt or not? Will death come sooner, or later? It seems like it will come slowly and feel lonely. How does it feel to die of exhaustion? Is it just by falling and then dying? It is terrible to die of hunger, but it is better to die of hunger than to fall in the abyss. Lord, help me, don't let me fall. This was my greatest fear, slipping down into a chasm hundreds of meters deep, holding only to snow, resignedly falling into a deep abyss of rocks.
How does it feel to fall into that deep abyss? Is my mind filled with fear, or will it feel peaceful when it falls? Lord, please, spare me from such deaths.
Suddenly a face appeared in my mind. I saw myself from above, as a silent form on the surface of the snow. My life is gone from my body. I have found the limits of my life, the places and times of my death. How will that situation be? What's the last thing I'll see? Is it snow? A cloud? Shadow stone? Friends' faces? Or will I be alone? Will my eyes be closed? Will I accept my death peacefully, like when I am under an avalanche, or will I be in pain?Death felt very real, very close, and I felt its presence, I began to shiver from not having the courage to face death.
I can't do it. I don't want to die. I decided to tell the others that I changed my mind. I'm not leaving. Maybe Roberto's right, the rescue team will find us. But I have another reason. Our eating habits are starting to thin. How much longer do we wait for everything to run out and wait for our deaths? Who will die next? How long should we wait for our meat to be ready for cutting. And how does it feel to be the only one to die last time?
I looked back at that mountain, there was nothing else I could do here, my life would be worse if I just stayed and waited here. I said to the mountain, wishing it were generous when we were on its slopes.
"Tell me your secret" I whispered. "Show me how to climb your slopes. "
The mountain was silent. I looked towards the back of the towering mountain range before me, but the night soon came. The mountain slope disappeared in the Darkness.
I got on the plane, laid my body next to my friends one last time and tried to sleep.
(Connected)