Chasing Stars

The Stars Only

Two days later, Laura found herself in the marching band room. Erika asked to meet. Now, Erika was looking at him sharply. There is deep hatred there.

''So, ''' he said starting the conversation, ''I heard my friends, you were alone with Niko at the picnic on Sunday. Why did you do it? Though I've clearly prohibited you from approaching Niko.''

Laura took a long breath. He really doesn't know how to explain it. Erika would not believe that their togetherness just happened. Unplanned, “Niko likes you, explained Laura slowly.

Erika smiled cynically. ''Your words did not answer my question.''

''I don't have any answers that can satisfy you, '' said Laura honestly. ''I didn't plan to be alone with Niko. I know he's your girlfriend. We're talking about you and we both admit you're a great major. Nothing happened between us.”

Erika laughed short. ''You think I'm stupid? I know you're trying to make Niko like you. You think I can't see that you like it?''

''You're not stupid.'' Laura looked at Erika's eyes straight. ''You're just jealous.''

Erika looked at Laura closely. ''You are so smart. Of course I'm jealous. Anyone would be jealous if his girlfriend threatened to be taken by someone else. Just admit. You like Niko.'' Laura decided to come clean. ''Yes, I like it.''

Erika did not expect Laura to admit it in front of her, without feeling guilty. ''You.., ''' his anger is not contained anymore.

But Laura interrupted first, I'm not the only girl who likes Niko. Almost half of the girls in our school liked it. He's very popular. I think you know I'm telling the truth. But it doesn't matter, does it? No matter how many girls like it, Niko likes you. He chose you. You should have trusted Niko.''

Erika knows that a lot of girls like her boyfriend. But it was Laurel who severely threatened her position next to Niko. Erika is afraid, one day Niko decides to be with Laura. Erika turned that fear into anger. ''How dare you teach me how to maintain our relationship?''

Laura got up from the chair. ''I'm done giving an explanation.''

Erika stood up and held one of Laura's hands. ''I'm not done yet.''

Laura released Erika's handrails with the other hand. ''I won't give you any explanation other than what I said.''

''I can make your life in school not fun!'' erika really said.

Laura laughed slowly. Erika doesn't know that her life has been more unpleasant. Liking someone who doesn't like you back is the saddest thing. ''Just do what you want, said Laura unconcerned as she turned around.

''You will regret it, '' Erika said slowly but surely.

Laura turned around again looking at Erika. This time with more courage. ''We'll be graduating High School in a few months. Most likely I won't see you and Niko again. I can't promise not to talk to Niko that long, but I promise to stay away from her.'' afterwards Laura steps out of the room.

Erika dumbfounded. He did not expect a girl like Laura to be able to say such a bold thing to him. Laura is not a popular girl who has many gang friends like her. Erika is weak. He knew he should feel relieved, but why did his feeling say he had lost to the KAMPUNG SCHOOLGIRL?

***

In the months that followed, Laura did not have time to think about her feelings for Niko. His life was filled with school, lessons, practice questions, and study until late at night. He needs to prove to himself that he can pass the test.

When the try-out test scores done by the school are distributed, Laura's score is not below 6. Mr. Bambang who shared the value with Laura looked at her with a smile, "You really have worked hard. Prove again the results of your hard work on the national exam next month."

Laura nodded. "Thank you, sir. I will try hard to graduate with satisfactory grades."

"Congratulations,” Niko said with a smile as Laura would turn to her seat.

Laura smiled back. "Thank you."

Laura learns that Niko's value is far above her. Sometimes Laura is a little jealous of the clever Niko. It seems like the guy doesn't have to study too hard to get good grades. A few months ago, during an impromptu retrial, all 3rd graders of IPA 1 scored poorly except for Niko.

Niko can always give the right answer to every question. Until Laura once hoped to get half Niko's intelligence. But of course it's impossible. There are people like Niko who are born with a smart brain.

Laura has fulfilled her promise to Erika to stay away from Niko. He never spoke to Niko other than in class. When the lesson ended, Laura went straight home.

Days change weeks, without feeling the national exam has come. Almost all third-graders were nervous about it. There was always a feeling of fear coming to their minds. Afraid of not being able to do anything. Fear of not passing the exam. Afraid to repeat. Afraid failure.

"Hopefully it works" Niko told Laura as they were about to face the test.

"You too" Laura replied.

The following days were really tough for Laura. He did not want to repeat the test. Sometimes late at night, Laura wakes up and can't sleep anymore.

Mama caught him one night, calming his daughter. Mama brews hot milk for Laura and tells her to calm down.

"Whatever happens," said Mama slowly, "you still have mama. Mama believes you can get through your exams well. Mama trusts you."

"Thanks ma," said Laura. Mom's words calmed her heart.

When the exam was over and the third grader shouted in excitement, Laura also cheered in relief. Next is the waiting period for the test results. Indeed, the test results were still a few weeks away, but Laura felt confident in herself and her abilities.

***

Laura came home with relief. He does his daily tasks at home more calmly. But in the afternoon, my mother arrived with shocking news. Mama will be transferred to the head office. And that means they have to move house.

"They asked Mama to leave immediately" she explained, "but she asked them to wait until you got your diploma first."

Laura was at a loss for words. He did not expect to say goodbye to the city he had lived in for 10 years.

"Is the headquarters far away, ma?" ask Laura slowly.

Mama nodded. "About 2 hours from here. Get on a plane."

Laura's heart felt tight. He knew he had promised himself that he would forget Niko after graduating from High School. But his heart still held a bit of unwillingness. Now he has no chance at all to enter the same university as Niko. Laura would certainly not leave mom alone, no matter what.

"Sorry, Laura. Mama has tried to refuse, but it's been a decision of the head office," said mama sadly. "Mom knows you want to go to college here. Sorry."

Laura hugged my mother tightly and shook her head. "No, mama. No need to apologize." Isn't long distance also one way to forget someone? thought Laura. He will end it all upon graduation.

***

School lessons have closed with a national exam, but the students still enter the school. While waiting for the results of the exam, the teachers of the third grade began to give an idea of what the world of college will be entered by the students. The teachers explain how to determine the right majors at the university later.

Niko looked at the brochures of the universities in her town.

"You've definitely entered medicine, right?” ask one of Niko's friends.

Niko sighed. "Yes", he answered. His hand flipped back the university brochure without enthusiasm. His gaze fell on the art major. He tapped the brochure on the table unknowingly.

Behind her, Laura has not been able to decide what majors will be in the university later. Even if the test score is good, it seems he does not want to enter a major that he does not like. Laura thought it would be better if she learned the rights she liked as well.

"You want to look through your brochure?" ask Niko's friend again. Niko shook her head. "I already know which university to enter. Here, you choose."

"You're really lucky, Niko," said her friend. "when you pass the exam, there's a university that will accept you."

Niko just smiled briefly in response to that. Am I really that lucky? ask Niko in my heart. I didn't know everyone had a papa-like connection and could get his son into the best medical school. Why does my heart feel heavy?

After deciding not to choose any major that day, Laura looked at Niko again. There was only 2 weeks left to look at him. After that, he won't see Niko again.

Laura truly wished that Niko could be happy all her life. He had imagined Niko wearing a white coat, caring for hospital patients with care. Laura laughed slowly and closed her eyes.

***

The day that awaited the third grade students finally came as well. Announcement of national exam results. All third-graders gathered in the school grounds. Then the homeroom class gave an envelope with their names on it.

After the distribution of the envelopes was completed, the Headmaster headed towards the middle of the field. "In your hands is a letter stating whether or not you passed the national exam you took two weeks ago. On the count of three, I want you to open it together. One...two...three..."

The students impatiently tore the envelope and opened it to see their results.

The headmaster laughed at the actions of his students. Then he said again, out of 297 third-graders, only two... hundred..." The students screamed loudly.

The headmaster laughed loudly. "Yes, right, you passed a hundred percent. I'm proud you all can graduate without having anyone repeat. I'm bored and don't want to be with you anymore."

The students laughed.

Laura looked at the results in her hands happily. The value did not disappoint. His eyes glazed with relief. All students congratulate each other. He sees Niko being hugged by Erika.

Laura remained silent. Only a farewell party awaits. Laura pulled out her HP and called mom.

Once connected, Laura immediately told him the good news. "Ma, I graduated."

"Happy dear" said the mother happily on the phone. "We're having dinner out tonight to celebrate your graduation."

"All right," Laura agreed. After speaking for a while, he disconnected the phone. Niko got congratulations from the teachers after that, because her test scores were the highest of all the students.

Laura looked at it all with a smile. Beside Niko, Erika smiled proudly, Laura returned to her class. His hand lightly stroked the table where Niko was. "Congratulations, Niko," he said. He knew that at any time he would not be able to enter the world around Niko, which is different from his world.

Laura tidied up the bag, then walked home to the bus stop.

***

"Thank you, Ma" said Laura happily seeing the graduation gift from her mother. They're having dinner at a seafood restaurant.

Laura wore a silver watch that mom gave her. "Mama shouldn't be wasteful in buying this expensive hour."

Mom smiled. "It's okay. Mama's really proud of you. Mama knows how hard you're trying to graduate."

"I will always keep this watch," Laura said as she looked at the gentle mama. "So, when will the freight forwarder come?"

Mama took her drink and gulped it down and replied, "maybe tomorrow. Did you pack your stuff in the cardboard?"

"Some of it already is," says Laura. "living the rest of the school books. I can do it tonight."

"You can finish it tomorrow if you're exhausted" my mother suggested.

"I'm not tired. It felt like my energy doubled after eating," joked Laura.

"What did you decide to go to?" ask mama seriously.

Laura sighed. "I don't know yet, ma."

"If you can tell," said the patient mother, "what do you really like the most in the world?"

Laura immediately replied, "together with mama."

Mama laughed. "other than that what else?"

"I love to cook, maybe" Laura replied.

"Why don't you try cooking?" mama's proposal.

"I'm still not sure ma," said Laura hesitantly.

"You don't have to decide now" said the understanding mother. "You'll know it's time. Now...what about your heart problem? you done it?"

Laura thought hard. "I don't know, ma. But in a few days it will all be over. I'm not gonna see him again. And I'll try to forget it."

"First love is hard to forget" said the mother nodded wisely. "Only time will your mother forget it. You ever tell her you like her?"

Laura shakes. "Never."

"Maybe you should tell him, after that you can go on with your life and get a new love someday." Mom touches her daughter's arm slowly. "You need a solution."

"Yes, I know." Laura looked at my mother's eyes in sadness. "I just don't want it to end."

"That you must remember," said the mother to strengthen her son's heart, "you must be true to yourself. Tell him how you feel." "I'll try it" Laura said.

***

Later that night, Laura packed her former school books. While entering the last book, Laura sees a large brown envelope on her desk. Laura opened the envelope and took out pictures of Niko's jewelry designs. Laura arranged one after another the pictures and looked at them (maybe I should return them to Niko), she said in her heart.

Laura piled up the pictures, then put them back in a brown envelope. He will return it at the graduation ceremony.

The next day, Laura woke up at 05:30, took a shower, then cooked rice. Today is graduation day at the beach. Because Laura only needs to go in the afternoon to gather at school, she uses her morning time to pack other items that are still sitting in the living room.

The paper sound in the throw stopped Laura's activities. He looked at the front page. It was the morning newspaper. Laura took the newspaper and brought it home. He read the headlines at a glance, then read other news. In the middle courtyard, his gaze stopped. Julien bardeux, a renowned jeweler, will hold a two-day exhibition. Today and tomorrow. He wondered if Niko was reading this news. At the very least, Niko could attend this jewelry exhibition.

At about 14:30, Laura arrived at school. As usual, buses are parked in the school area. This time the teachers freed the students to sit on any bus. Laura sees Niko and Erika entering the first bus. He decided to enter the last bus.

As usual, he occupied the back seat. Two hours later, the bus arrived at the beach. The school has rented a meeting hall to be the center of the farewell event.

Inside the building there is live music, buffet food, and floor. Laura sees Erika pulling Niko to the dance floor. Laura chose to grab some food and sat in the corner.

That night, Niko and Erika are chosen as the best couple from their school. Laura clapped as they were presented with a pair of crowns. (They do fit in with each other), Laura admitted it inwardly.

Slowly his steps towards exiting the building. Some other students prepare a bonfire on the beach. Laura walked along the beach and stopped. His eyes looked at the vastness of the ocean. Maybe that's the distance between her and Niko. Without feeling her tears flowing.

I don't know how long Laura stared at the ocean with tears. Suddenly someone's voice resuscitated him.

"Laura...."

Laura tried to wipe away her tears. He turned around and saw Niko in front of him. "You okay?" ask Niko. "We're about to start the bonfire."

Laura gulped. "I'll be there in a minute" he said slowly.

Niko looked at Laura with a little worry. A moment ago, when Erika took him out to look at the preparation of the bonfire, she saw the shadow of someone not far from there and approached her. For some reason, in Niko's heart knew it must be Laura. Laura has never been with other friends. Always alone. That was why, Niko approached him to take him to the bonfire event. If her guess was not wrong, she seemed to see Laura crying.

"I'm fine," Laura replied reassuring Niko.

"You should have joined the others" suggested Niko. “The farewell party should be celebrated together."

Laura nodded, "you're right."

"Let's go," Niko asked as she turned around.

Laura looked at Niko's back again. I don't know how many times. Unknowingly his voice called out to Niko.

Niko turned around again, "yes?"

"Have you read the paper today?" ask Laura slowly. "There was a two-day jewelry exhibition. Today and tomorrow."

Niko sighed. "I know."

(Oh, he already knows), Laura said in her heart. "You don't want to attend?" ask Laura again.

"No," Niko replied after a while.

Laura looked at Niko's eyes which looked sad when answering her question. For some reason, her feelings say Niko lied to her this time. Laura clasped her hands tightly. Niko had no idea that her sad gaze had broken Laura's heart. "Niko. here you look." Erika approached Niko and pulled on her arm. His gaze fell on Laura. He snorted softly, "Let's go. The bonfire has begun."

"All right," said Niko. Then I looked at Laura. "I'm waiting for you at the bonfire." Laura nodded slowly. Erika is upset with Laura.

During the bonfire event Erika sees Niko's concentration on her split. Niko seemed to be thinking about something. Their hands were indeed linked, but Erika felt Niko's thoughts were not with her.

Laura saw the excitement of the bonfire event from the second row. When one of the students sang in a frenzied style, he laughed.

Opposite her, Niko's hand slowly took off Erika's hand.

Erika looked at Niko in confusion. But Niko's gaze wasn't on him. Erika then looked at Niko's gaze and held her breath. Laura.

Niko looked at Laura who was laughing. And Laura seemed unaware of it. As her breathing returned, Erika could not help her heartache. He turned around and moved away from Niko.

In the middle of the road he stops, hoping Niko stops her. But Erika realizes no one is aware of her disappearance. He ran towards the building and went into the second floor toilet.

He closed the toilet door and sat there. It strengthens the heart not to cry. After a while he stood up and looked in the mirror.

(I will not be defeated by the schoolgirl of the village,) she said to her reflection in the mirror. (i am Erika. Most popular girl in school. It'll all be over in a few days. The village girl will never see Niko again)

Erika came out of the toilet and went down the stairs. In the middle of the stairs, he noticed Laura was typing an SMS on her HP. Erika only realized all this time she never thought that (stupid me), said Erika without being able to dampen her anger. He went down the stairs and thoughtlessly seized Laura's HP.

Laura was surprised when someone took her HP.

"You're sending an SMS to Niko, right?!" yelled Erika who could not control her emotions.

"What are you talking about?" laura asked not to understand.

"You must have been texting Niko all along" Erika accused of being upset.

Laura was getting confused, "I didn't send an SMS to Niko."

"You lied!" exclaim Erika. This time Laura was already unable to tolerate Erika's jealousy.

"Give me back my HP" Laura asked in annoyance. "I didn't send an SMS to Niko. I'm sending an SMS to my mom."

Erika laughed cynically. "I don't believe you." He started to push Laura's HP.

Laura's upset. Erika's breaking the prep. Erika is Niko's boyfriend, but Laura doesn't accept being treated that way. His hand tried to take his HP back. "Return"! he said he didn't lose hard.

"No!" shouted Erika.

Laura again tried to snatch her HP from Erika's hands. But accidentally his hand pushed Erika's shoulder, then a second later Erika's body was piled up and fell to the bottom of the stairs. Laura's HP broke apart.

Laura's stunned. He didn't realize what had just happened. He quickly ran after Erika. The sound of someone falling down had made the disciples turn their attention to the lower floors of the stairs. "Erika!" said Laura gasping. "You okay?" Erika flinching.

Erika's friends run to her. They looked at Laura furiously. "You pushed him."

Laura shakes. "I didn't mean to push him."

"I saw you pushing him," accused one of Erika's friends.

"Geez! Erika. You okay?" Erika started to groan in pain.

"What's wrong?" asked Niko who then approached the crowd. Then he saw Erika lying on the floor. "Erika!" he panicked as he grabbed Erika's body. "What's wrong? Why are you down here?"

Erika said weakly. "I fell down the stairs."

Erika's hand hugged Niko's stomach. "My legs and feet hurt a lot."

Niko checked Erika's bruised leg. Then he looked up, looking at the panicked Laura in front of Erika.

Erika takes this opportunity to gain Niko's sympathy. "Laura pushed me."

Niko was surprised to not believe it. "What?"

One of Erika's friends confirmed Erika's words.

"I saw them fighting on the stairs. Then Laura pushed Erika to her knees." Laura felt her world was destroyed back then. Niko held Erika slowly.

Laura stepped forward. "I didn't mean to..."

Niko looked at Laura coldly. "Now I don't want to hear your explanation."

The students follow Niko's steps, leaving Laura alone.

Laura couldn't breathe. His heart feels tight. The pair of warm brown eyes that he had first seen two years ago, had now turned cold. He fell down. Tears wet his cheeks. Laura cried sobbing sobbing sobbing sob.

After that, he no longer realized what was happening. Starting from the trip home from the beach to school until the trip home from school to home. When he arrived in front of his house, the time was already eleven o'clock at night. Laura opened the door of the house limply.

The living room lights are still on.

"Laura?" asked Mama who was sitting in the living room, looking worried. "Mama tried to call you a few times, but you didn't answer your phone. Mama was really worried....

Mama..."

Mama stopped talking when she saw Laura pensive and silent.

"What's wrong?" ask mama confused. "Why are you like this?"

Laura's feet were limp and sitting on the floor. Mom immediately realized something bad had happened to her daughter.

Mama immediately examined her daughter's entire body, as if making sure there were no injuries there.

"What's going on?"

Laura finally looked at Mama with a blank look.

"Mama, I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

My mother is getting confused. "It's okay, but what's wrong with you?"

"I don't know where my HP is" Laura said blankly. "I think I lost it."

"That's not important." Mama started poking Laura's shoulders tight. "What's wrong with you?"

Laura's tears flowed again. Laura cried loudly while hugging my mother. "It hurts so much, Ma," said Laura. "My heart hurts a lot."

Mama can only hug back. He let his daughter cry. A while later, Laura's cry turned into a slow sob.

Mama let go of her embrace and presented Laura with a glass of water. "Drink," he said softly. "After that you should rest in the room." Laura nodded and drank the water that my mother gave her.

Mama helped Laura stand up and swept her into the bedroom. After Laura lay down on her bed, she covered him and kissed him on the forehead. "Sleep."

After mama left, even though the lights had been turned off, Laura still could not sleep. He still remembers the previous events. Erika fell down the stairs. Niko's cold look at him. Laura knew she was going to break up with Niko, but she didn't want her breakup to end up with something painful like this.

When Mama knocked on Laura's room door the next morning, she saw her daughter was up and in uniform.

"You're awake" exclaimed Mama.

Laura smile. (I didn't sleep at all.) "Let's have breakfast" asked my mother.

At the dinner table, Laura had breakfast quietly.

"Yesterday mama forgot to say, our move accelerated by three days. We have to move tomorrow" he said carefully. "It seems you can't attend your graduation. But if you want to attend, Mama can book another ticket for you. You'll stay with mama".

Laura shakes. "No need, ma. I'll go with mom tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" ask mama to doubt. "You didn't attend your graduation?" Laura looked at my mother with certainty. "I'm sure."

Mama knew her daughter had just broken her heart last night. "Well, mama's gonna call your homeroom teacher to give up your diploma first."

Laura agreed. He took his bag from the room after breakfast. The chocolate envelope containing the picture of Niko is still there. He took it too and came out of the room.

 

***

 

At school, the news about Erika's fall from the stairs became great news. The moment Laura entered the school environment, all eyes looked at her scornfully. Laura doesn't care about any of that. It's his last day of school.

As Laura entered the 3rd grade of IPA 1, everything fell silent. Laura sat in her chair without looking at anyone. The classroom guardian distributed the yearbook to the students. Afterwards, the students were busy exchanging yearbooks for one another to sign.

Laura used the time to get out of class and surround the school environment. He saw his former class, the ordinance room, the school hall, the basketball court, and the last school garden. He wants to remember everything.

After that he returned to his classroom which had been deserted. He saw Niko's yearbook on his desk. Niko did not come in this morning. According to what Laura heard, Niko did not enter because she was accompanying Erika in the hospital.

He opens Niko's yearbook and arrives at IPA 3rd grader 1. He saw Niko's smiling face ("I'll remember you like this, '") Laura said.

Laura took a deep breath. Opens the last page of Niko's yearbook, then begins writing.

(I like you).

Laura closed Niko's yearbook. If anyone says heartbreak feels like thousands of needles piercing her heart, Laura can't agree. His heart was not only injured but crushed like concrete weighing thousands of kilos.

Laura realized one thing. Until the end of the day, he still could not express his feelings to Niko directly.

Laura stood up and was about to return Niko's drawing on her desk when she felt that someone had entered the classroom. Laura turned around to see who was walking behind her. Apparently Niko.

Both looked without speaking.

But Laura finally dared to ask. " How's Erika doing?"

At first, Niko refused to answer. "He can't walk for a week."

Laura really felt guilty. "I'm really sorry. Please convey my apology to Erika."

Niko looked at Laura straight. "Take my question this one. Is it true that you pushed Erika off the stairs?"

Laura's heart ached hearing that question. Because he knew the answer would make Niko hate him forever. But he knew he still had to say it.

"Yes," Laura replied as she hugged a picture of Niko on her chest. "pardon me."

Niko looks sad. "I thought you were different.. Why? Why are you pushing Erika?"

Laura desperately wants to explain to Niko that it was all a coincidence that started when Erika seized her HP. But Laura realized there was no point in explaining it all. He does not want to destroy Niko and Erika's relationship. He won't see Niko again after today.

"Sorry," Laura replied later. "I can't explain it."

Niko looked at Laura again carefully. "Can't or won't?"

"Both," answered Laura slowly. "At first everything means nothing. Now I want to ask you. Who are you gonna trust? The girl you've known since childhood or the girl you've only known for a year?"

Niko was silent at Laura's question. No answer came out of his mouth.

Laura smiled softly. "I think you answered my question."

It's all over. Laura walked out of the classroom. He could not be next to Niko any longer. Otherwise, his heart could be broken.

"Laura," said Niko before Laura stepped out the door, "i don't think I can be your friend anymore."

His embrace of Niko's image grew tighter. Laura took a breath and turned around. "I knew. Ii'm sorry. Goodbye, Niko".

After Laura died, Niko sat on her stool without moving. He knew he shouldn't be this sad. She always considered Laura as her friend. But why did Laura's passing just a moment ago make her heart ache? Then, he recalled the face of Erika who was in pain last night. He knew he loved Eric too. He was worried when Erika frowned painfully and held her hand during treatment at the hospital. But why was the sadness in his heart that time was not as sad as now?.