Between Me, You and God

Episode 22: Don't pick me

This relationship must end..!

This feeling had to be forcibly stopped because this sense was not true..!

I love my God as much as he loves his God.

He who has no power to betray his Lord, as I have no power to betray my Lord.

God who has been worshipped by my grandparents and ancestors.

The Lord whom I believe with all my soul and body in His truth through His kalam kalam.

*****

"Lord, I love him.But I don't want to lie to You.Tell me verbally "I love you" but my heart and my feelings are reluctant to obey the rules You have set upon me".

And today I decided I would stop loving her so that I wouldn't be labeled a liar when I confessed "I love You Lord".

(Alesha Rahma Iskandar)

Campus

Today as usual alesha lived the day like nothing happened.The girl assured herself that everything would be fine.Without any intention to shy away from the harry by going to the campus a little afternoon so that she more easily escaped from the young park.

His brain continues to endocrine that Harry will understand this state of affairs, after last night both he and Harry did not refuse to raise complaints and give each other an explanation of the reason why he had been avoiding the young park.

Cring..

The sound of bells echoing throughout the campus indicates the teaching and learning hours have ended

Alesha got ready to tidy up her things and walked towards the exit before someone called her name

"Sha..I want us to talk" said Harry quietly

"Everything's done, Harry, there's nothing to talk about anymore..!"

Alesha left harry while running

"Alesha wait" Harry clutching alesha's hand

"What the hell is ry..?!"

"Pass..!"

Alesha forcibly pulled her hand from the grip of Harry's hand with a look of annoyed eyes while staring at the ground

"Please sha.I know you feel the same way as I feel" said Harry gently as he continued to look at the girl who still controlled his heart.

"Love alone is not enough to make us with ry." said alesha lirih without any intention of looking back at the interlocutor

"But at ease with love we still have a chance to be with sha..?" harry's answer still convinced alesha

"I admit I love you, Harry, but I love my God too"

"And I choose to love my Lord"

"Forget me like I'm trying to forget you because no matter how hard we try we'll never be together.There's a dividing wall between us"

Alesha's right hand tightly gripped the skirt she was wearing while the other hand held the bag she had on her shoulder with a gaze that was difficult to pin down while still lowering her head.

Harry took a long breath and exhaled slowly forcing his brain to remain clear even though his heart was being squeezed by the invisible hand.Sad,pressed, sick, wounded but still love as it feels today.

"What should I do to change your decision sha..?"

Now it was the girl's turn to take a long breath and exhale it slowly.Then stared intently at the narrow-eyed young man who was now staring at himself

"Harry, I love my God as you love your God"

"And I could not have betrayed him just to get your love"

"Forget over me.Find a woman who fits your beliefs"

"Because I will also find a man who is in accordance with the beliefs I believe in"

After saying the sentence alesha left the place, but only a few steps did the girl stop when she heard Harry say a little with a pretty loud intonation

"So that's the problem..?!"

"Are you going to change your mind..?" Harry said softly while still staring at alesha with both irises.

Alesha turned her back trying her hardest so that she could look into the eyes of the two young men who were still trying to persuade her to change the decision she had taken

"I don't want you to believe in my God just because you want to have me"

"Even if I want you to believe in my faith but I want you to believe in Him because you have fallen in love with Him not because you have fallen in love with His being"

"Share your intention..!"

"This road is too dangerous for us to take on Harry..!"

Alesha said softly while occasionally resetting her severed breath.

"I've decided to choose you" murmured Harry softly

"I'm not an option you have to choose.Don't choose me because I don't want to be something you choose as I can't possibly make you something I'll choose" said alesha fixing the bag on her shoulder in the hope that a little can expel the nervousness in her heart.

"I promise I'll make every effort to love your Lord" Harry still chuckles

"You can't be selfish harry..!"

"What about your family..?!"

"You have to think about their feelings too harry..?!"

"How do they feel when they know a child who for many years they have been educated with beliefs that are in accordance with the beliefs of parents and ancestors has suddenly changed beliefs..?" Alesha hit Harry with questions that Harry himself did not know the answer

The roar of breath both raced breaking the silence

"Please reflect on your intentions harry.Marry we return to our initial state when we first met..!"

"It's not too late for us to forcibly stop what we feel..!" alesha assured Harry as if saying 'we can do it'

"Sha.I know maybe you can forget me easily but I can't sha"

"Sha.Why don't we try it..?"

"Let's give it a try sha.I'm sure we can get through it if we stay together and strengthen each other" harry said confidently.

"I'm sorry harry I can't.I'm not a person who really understands religion so I need someone who understands religion in order to guide me to become a better person"

"Someone who will teach it to my children"

"And I don't see that figure in you"

Harry was defeated by the last sentence said by alesha.The narrow-eyed young man clenched his hands with his breath up and down indicating he was holding back the emotions that were burning in him.

Sick and wounded by alesha's words.As hit by hundreds of slashing daggers and tore his heart and skin but he tried to stay calm, controlling the turmoil of the soul so that it can still be categorized in sane mode.

After seeing harry did not budge and like he did not want to say something else alesha turned her body and re-entered her legs while holding the sobs that had been held back.The girl half ran as if she did not want to look back again, so that someone who spoke to him a few seconds ago did not see that he was hurt.

Honestly, alesha knew the last words thrown from her lips were a little cruel.By his brazenness he claimed someone with his own expectations.For whatever reason the girl was injured for the words he made himself to the young man park that is, but how else for him to be injured now is better than injured later which may be more hearts that will be hurt.

The girl also knows very well what harry is like.The figure of a catfish who still has a high ego about a man's self-esteem, the,harry is not a psychopath who likes to force someone's will so that the person will love him no matter what way he has to force him to do it.

"Harry I'm sorry"

Tests..

Tests..

Alesha muttered softly while shedding her tears.

Hi beloved readers...

Ask for criticism and advice dong with a comment below so that I know also if you enjoy my absurd novel.

So that I am also motivated to continue the next chapters

Seriously yesterday on hiatus for no thought stop this story but I feel a bit sad too..😭

So.don't forget to come..🙆