Because Apples

The Painful Facts

Adam was truly grateful when he made it out of the examination room on the last day safely. A week is like a life gamble, he said. It was just an ordinary class test. Basically, that guy is just amazing.

For a total of two full weeks he focused his brain on learning. Whether or not there is a benefit, Adam does not know. Of course he hopes.

The result is not bad. When receiving the report a few days ago, he was known to be ranked 8th. It was good for him who rarely studied.

As always, after the exam the class hike awaited was a vacation. Moreover, his savings were still plenty. And coincides with the holiday of the fasting month until the feast day. Which is more than a month.

Adam got confused himself for where to vacation. He has a bucket list that many of them still do not make it. This holiday he will use to give a tick in some bucket list. At least to increase.

Till when?

He clearly did not know when to go on vacation. Fasting during this time makes him feel two different things that are always present together.

Happy and sad.

For that feeling of happiness, Adam could not explain it. He had no idea why he was so happy. Like there was a unique taste tucked in his heart during the fasting month. Then when he heard takbir at night and in the morning, he could smile for no reason. Obviously, he was very happy at the time.

And his sadness came for the reason of loneliness.

When his heart was surrounded by a feeling of pleasure, suddenly the feeling disappeared. When he realized that he had no one to celebrate. It would be a lie if Adam didn't cry at the time. He even cried for an hour without a sound. Seeing people sharing hugs and shaking hands with their families. He could only stay in the apartment. Refused all his friends. Even Fitri.

Another case when suddenly he hated the atmosphere of Eid. There was absolutely no sweet memory imprinted on his head. There are only bad memories of the big day, but not for him.

Slowly when her nose starts to turn red. It shows how bad he is at the moment. Just because remembering one thing just made her almost cry.

The nineteenth day of Ramadan. Just yesterday he went home solo traveling to Malang Banyuwangi, and Pasuruan. He is grateful to work in a place with a great salary.

Regarding his relationship with Dita, Adam was still a little confused. Confused by his own feelings, also confused by their current state. They are still very affectionate, but selfish.

Adam knew he was selfish in this context. How else, his heart is still difficult to compromise. Although I tried many times.

Smiling cynically. Looking at the street in front of his apartment without meaning. It is still crowded even though it has been 20 minutes since the end of the tarawih.

Deliberately refusing his friends to come out. Just walk. Adam just wanted to keep quiet without doing anything right now.

Bored, of course. The show on tv is just that. At least until a few minutes ago. Suddenly the door of his apartment opened.

Nadine, Vina, and Deny came over with wide smiles. Carrying a large backpack that he knew was only snacks and some maps owned by Deny. For a long time these people were like Leon and friends, who would just go in without permission.

“ Your kitchen is empty, Dam! “

Nadine returned to the living room with a canned drink in hand. Sitting on the sofa with her parents who were busy chewing on the snacks they brought.

“ The name is also two weeks 'not inhabited. “

“ After this want another vacation? “ ask Deny.

“ Don't know. “ without having to look back because he turned his back on them.

“ Lebaran where will you go? “

This time he looked. It was a bit long silent yet to respond to Vina's question.

“ Don't know yet, Tan. Streetmost. I'm lazy to stay here, “

Vina sighed. I don't know why all the sentences he had just compiled suddenly disappeared. A sentence to tell Adam who they really were.

Vina accidentally saw Adam reaching into her pocket. His eyes narrowed when he saw a pack of cigarettes that had been opened. Adam took a stick and flanked it with his lips.

Not yet had time to ignite the fire, the white object was already taken by force. Adam glared resentfully at the perpetrator who had conveniently broken his cigarette.

“ Replied you can't smoke anymore! “

“ Why the hell, Tan!? That's my own money, not Auntie's! “ reply Adam start pissed.

Then open the cigarette again. And again, Vina snatched it.

“ Why the hell?! “ pissed Adam stuck.

“ Auntie don't like you smoking! “ reply Vina no less fierce.

“ If you don't like it, don't look! “

“ Mama don't want you sick, Dam!! “

Adam looked at me. Silently looked at the face of the woman in front of him seriously. A second later laughed out loud.

“ Seriously, that’s so funny! “ Adam still with his laugh.

Even to shed tears.

“ Dam, seriously. This aunt is your mother. “

“ Yes, yes. Aunty deserves to be in the casting of the film. Good acting, “

“ Muhammad Adam al - Ghifari! “

The laughter of the young man stopped. It was a bit of a wonder because Vina could know her full name.

“ It's Mama, Son. Your real mother! “ Vina even started to glaze over.

“ Err, that means? I swear to you, Tan. It was really funny, but now it's not anymore. “

“ Is not funny! This aunt is your mother! Your real mother! “ Vina firmly points at her.

Adam affected. I couldn't believe it when I heard that.

“ Not possible! It's just kidding, right?! “ said Adam trying to make sure.

“ Mama herself put this necklace on, “ Vina touched the blue gem.

Then Deny gave him a map.

“ Open, Dam. Read it so you know we're not lying. “

Deny clasped his wife's shoulders. Trying to give Vina a kink. Because he knew, Vina was being shaken.

Adam opened. A few days later his heart broke. Reading line by line the DNA test result letters, birth certificates, family cards, and some other letters all postively indicates that what Vina said was true.

Adam's view is empty. He dropped the red map. Slowly the tears began to pool and fall over the cheeks.

Not replying to Vina's crying embrace of apology. I can only be silent when I see the reality. Something he had been imagining all along.

***

The business world is hard.

Several times he even had to deal with the mafia. Vina alone to wonder, it turns out there is also a business mafia in this country.

When Nadine was born, the competition was not too severe. Different things when pregnant with Adam.

Deny's rivals did not even hesitate to take the path of violence. And the family is ‘road out’ if it feels they failed to drop the dominance of the opposing business.

And when Adam was born, no one knew but family. Deny did it to protect her son. Nadine is the same. Tipped to relatives in Bondowoso for two months.

Ten days later, Adam was forced to separate from his family. Due to the sudden heating up. With a heavy heart Vina handed the son to an orphanage. With lies here and there so that no one would know the truth about his family.

But Vina made one fatal mistake.

He didn't check the orphanage's background first.

Just a week after handing over Adam, the orphanage was evicted. On the grounds of not having permission and building rights. Forced the owner and caregiver of the home to move the foundation elsewhere.

Since then, Vina, Deny, and the family have never seen Adam again.

Even though I tried hard with all my abilities. There was never a result. Even Vina had thought if this was karma for her because ‘throw away her child. A mother should be the protector of her child. Whatever the circumstances were at the time.

It failed.

Failing to be a good mother, and instead becoming a coward by running away. If only I could repeat the time, Vina would choose to accompany her child. Not just Adam, but Nadine.

Vina feels most guilty for Adam's disappearance. She was reminded of her husband many times. Even though Deny herself was equally sad.

Now, after a dozen years of searching, Vina reunited with the son. With a situation that can be said to be so concerning. Very different from his life.

When he found Adam, his mother immediately asked him to bring Adam back. The husband does not. To think that Adam would not be so easy.

Now, anxiously, they were waiting for whatever Adam might bring about. Behind them, Nadine was still with teary eyes. Unable to deal with this situation.

Adam takes off the hug.

“ Adam? “

After hearing the story just now, Adam felt a loss of passion. Trying to hold back tears that feel like they are going to dry because they come out constantly. His heart ached so much to hear the explanation of the person he thought was only a stranger.

“ Now Auntie wants what? “ Adam's voice sounds very cold.

“ Mom, Honey. Not Aunt anymore! “

Smiling bitterly, “ After first dumping me, now dare I as a mother? “

“ Adam!? “ sentak Deny. I never thought Adam would dare to say that.

“ What? The truth is that, right? Now I ask you again, Auntie what do you want? “

“ Adam, it's Mama, Honey. Please! “ please Vina cry.

“ Ok, Mama. What else do you want after this? “ said Adam upset.

“ Mama wants to take you home. We go home, right? “

“ Home? What the hell is that house? What the hell is that family? I don't think I ever knew, “ reply Adam sarcas.

“ Sorry... “ says Deny and Vina together while looking down.

“ I want to say thank you for struggling to make me born, Ma. But just one question for you. Same as before. “

Deny vibrating.

“ Why make me exist in this world if finally thrown away? “

Again, Vina fell down. His heart ached hearing this.

“ Mama didn't dump you, Dam. Ma- “

“ But the truth is that, right? Is it because I'm an unwanted child? “

“ No! Absolutely not, Dam! Mama mrsesel about it, Mama apologizes.. “.

“ Mama know not the hell how I really feel?! One can see Adam is a relaxed, cheerful guy. But really no, Ma!! Absolutely not!! “ shouted Adam upset.

“ I'm sick, Ma. Pain. “ her voice wails at the end of the sentence.

Vina looked up, “ Which one is sick, Honey? Whereabouts? We're going to the hospital, right? “

Adam shook his head, “ I'm heartbroken. It hurts so bad. “

The beautiful woman returned.

“ Mama was about Lebaran, right? Do you know how I felt when I left? I'm lonely! “

“ I get sick every time I see other kids playing with their parents. I'm envious, Ma! “

“ I envy seeing them picked up by his father. I was jealous when I took the report cards, they were with their parents. I'm envious to see them salim to his parents when Lebaran. I'm ill. “

It hurts so much to reveal what Adam had been alone.

“ I want to kayak another child. Happy for his parents. Make proud. Butwhat? There is nothing I can be proud of except myself! I have no place to share! “

“ I have many trophies. The awards I get are many. But what if no one is proud? “

“ Mama is really sorry, Darling. Very sorry.. “.

“ Mama don't know, I ever say because really don't have money? Don't you know, I broke a bone in an accident? You don't know, I was depressed because I was lonely?! “

Adam sniffling. Remember when he was once at the lowest point of his life.

“ I was depressed, almost committed suicide. “

Vina jerks. Then quickly hugged Adam tightly. Crying with dozens of apologies.

Unexpectedly Adam returned his embrace. Surprised Vina hugged her son even tighter.

“ I miss family that I’ve never seen. “

At the same time, Deny and Nadine hugged both of them. The man was like a dazed person who did not know what to do. Their emotions are completely drained.

“ I'm afraid to be alone. “.

“ I don't want depression anymore, Ma. Don't stay with me anymore.. “ continued Adam sobbed. Hugging the mother to channel feelings.

Vina was getting stronger clutching Adam's shirt. It was as if he was not going to let go of his son, again.